“I knew there was something weird about you,” Boz said. “You’ve been lying to us all, haven’t you?”

Vlad couldn’t speak. He looked around for Flit to help him, but the little bat had disappeared. Vlad swallowed hard. What was he going to do now? Boz had discovered his secret and he’d go back to school and tell everyone that Vlad was a vampire! If the teachers found out, the whole Impaler family would be sent back to Transylvania. It would be all his fault…

“You aren’t from Transylvania,” Boz said, cutting into Vlad’s panicky thoughts. “You’re just hiding in this battered old house. That’s why Miss Lemondrop has never met your parents – because you haven’t got any! You’re just a poor little orphan boy with no mummy and daddy,” he added in a babyish voice.

Minxie gave a strangled titter.

Boz frowned. “What was that?”

“Oh, nothing,” Vlad said. “Probably just a bat – there are loads here,” he said, scanning the room again for Flit. “And spiders.”

Boz shuddered.

Vlad’s mind was racing. Boz hadn’t guessed he was a vampire after all!

“I know I’m right,” Boz said, “because you haven’t got an answer, have you? You’re an orphan and you should be in a special home for children with no parents. It’s the law,” he said importantly.

Vlad’s mouth went completely dry. Boz still wanted to get his own back on him. He was going to get Vlad into trouble one way or another, unless Vlad could think of a way out of this – and fast!

“Minxie’s known all about this for ages, hasn’t she?” Boz went on, when Vlad didn’t reply. “That’s why she’s been faking notes for you. Oh, I know all about that,” he said, as Vlad opened his mouth to protest. “I’ve been on Tidy-Up Duty, remember? I found these in the library.” He reached into his pocket, pulled out two crumpled pieces of paper and threw them at Vlad.

Vlad bent down and picked up the pieces of paper, then smoothed them out. They were covered in loopy handwriting – Minxie had been practising how to fake Grandpa’s signature!

“It’s all over for you, Mr Freaky-Teeth,” said Boz. “I’m going to tell the school exactly what’s going on and you’ll have to leave, and I’ll get to be Hansel in the show and everything’ll go back to how it was before you ever arrived.” He stopped to catch his breath.

Vlad tried to stay calm. He didn’t know what to be more scared of – the fact that Boz had found out where he lived or the fact that he had to get Boz out of Misery Manor before Mulch and Grandpa woke up. Even though he didn’t like Boz at all, he was terrified about what would happen to him if Mulch or Grandpa found out he had got into the manor.

“You need to be quiet,” Vlad said in a whisper. “Someone might hear—”

Who exactly?” Boz said, sneering. “The spiders?” He raised his voice to make a point. “There’s no one else in this dump!”

“Shhh!” said Vlad. But it was too late.

“Oh yes, there is,” came a deep, booming voice. It echoed along the corridor of the East Wing, accompanied by a heavy STOMP-STOMP-STOMP.

Boz’s expression changed from triumphant to terrified in an instant. “Wh-wh-what was that?” he gibbered.

“Now you’ve done it!” Vlad said. He looked around wildly for somewhere to hide Boz.

All of a sudden Minxie threw back the bedspread. “I think you’ll find that it’s someone from Vlad’s family. And as you weren’t invited, Boz, you’re going to get into trouble for being here.”

STOMP-STOMP-STOMP.

Mulch was getting closer and closer!

“Minxie – what’re you doing?” Vlad said through gritted fangs. “Boz won’t be the only one in trouble now!”

“Eek!” cried Minxie, her face shining with excitement. “This is epic!” She dived back under the covers but made sure she could peep out of a tiny gap to see what was going on.

Boz was about to speak when Mulch appeared in the doorway, looking very stern indeed. He stepped into the room and loomed over Boz, fixing him with a terrible stare.

“What’s going on?” he roared.

Boz was frozen to the spot. “Wh-wh-what are you?” he asked.

Vlad had never seen Mulch look so terrifying. He wanted to disappear, but instead he told himself to use his best acting skills.

“Good evening, Mulch,” he said politely. “How are you?”

Mulch bowed. “Good evening, Master,” he said in his normal voice. “You seem to be having some trouble?” He took a step towards Boz. “I don’t remember the master inviting any guests.”

“He’s not my guest. I don’t know who he is,” Vlad said, trying to look brave.

“Fibber!” Boz shouted. “I go to school with—”

Vlad gasped and cried, “No!”

“It’s all right, Master,” Mulch said. “I’ll get rid of the intruder. It’s part of my job to protect you.”

As he did so, Flit whizzed in through the door spluttering, “I’m sorry, Vlad! I tried to distract him!”

“AARGH! A bat!” Boz screamed, flailing out at Flit.

“Don’t worry, it won’t hurt you,” said Mulch. “In fact,” he added, with a smirk, “let me show you the way out.”

Mulch began walking out of the room, with Boz kicking and squealing. As he got to the doorway, he turned and said, “I think you should go to the dining room, Master Vlad. Unless you’re not feeling particularly hungry this evening?” He looked at the lumpy shape in the coffin as he said this and winked, then turned and walked off, with Boz swinging from his fingers.

When Vlad was finally sure it was safe, he called for Minxie to come out.

She threw off the bedspread. “WOW! Mulch is COOL!” she gushed.

Flit landed on the coffin. “I agree. Mulch has certainly taught that boy a lesson. I did try to stop him coming in, but I’m glad he did now. He didn’t see Minxie and he got rid of that horrible child.”

“But what if Boz tells everyone at school about Mulch?” Vlad asked anxiously.

“He won’t do that,” said Minxie. “Didn’t you see? He was TERRIFIED!”

“I hope you’re right,” said Vlad. “It doesn’t solve my other problem though,” he added. “I think Mulch did see you. Minxie—”

“Master?” came Mulch’s voice, from the corridor.

“Mulch!” Vlad threw the bedspread over Minxie’s head again. “I-I was just coming to breakfast.”

“No need, Master,” said Mulch, appearing in the doorway. He was carrying a tray with a large silver dome on it. He removed the dome with a flourish and said, “I thought you might like breakfast in your room after all the excitement.”

“WOW!” said Vlad. “Pancakes? Hot chocolate?”

“And bacon and eggs,” Mulch added, with a bow. “I thought Master could do with a treat after the fright he’s had. And,” he added, nodding at the lump under the bedspread, “I don’t think humans drink blood.”

“Hmmm!” Minxie said, throwing back the covers and breathing in the delicious aromas. “Thank you, Mulch. What a perfect midnight feast!”

“My pleasure,” said Mulch. “Although it’s only four o’clock, actually.”

Vlad was staring at the butler, his mouth wide open. “I-I don’t understand,” he said. “Aren’t I in trouble for bringing a human home?”

“You remind me of your grandfather when he was young,” Mulch said. “He has always been interested in curious creatures, too. Don’t worry, I shan’t tell anyone, Master Vlad.” He paused. “But you’ll have to promise me something.”

“Anything!” said Vlad.

“You and your friend must finish all your tasks – tonight!” Mulch said. “Master Gory is getting very anxious. I’ll tell him you’re working hard and that you’re not to be disturbed. That way, none of us will get into trouble. Deal?” he boomed.

“Deal!” said Vlad and Minxie, through mouthfuls of pancake.