your murderers, there must be something else holding you back.” I’ve mostly decided to ignore Clothilde’s taunts and Bruno and Audrey’s reactions to them.
“I want a divorce,” Bruno says.
I break into a smile, thinking he’s joking, but I quickly realize he’s not.
He died three days into his honeymoon and wants a divorce.
“Feeling’s mutual,” Audrey says. No venom or hate this time. Just fact.
“Excellent!” Clothilde exclaims. “They agree on something. We must be making progress.”
“Maybe we could get an annulment,” Bruno muses. “That’s possible when you ask for it right after the wedding, right?”
“I don’t know,” Audrey says. “Never looked into it. I was too busy planning the wedding to think about what to do once it was over with.”
I share a look with Clothilde and we both shake our heads in disbelief.
“Guys,” Clothilde says. “You do realize you’re dead, right? There’s nobody here to annul your marriage. Or give you a divorce. Besides—”
“Aw, man!” Bruno growls. “This is hell, isn’t it? Married to this horror for all eternity.”
“Gee, thanks,” Audrey says. “Maybe you shouldn’t have married me in the first—”
“Enough!”
It’s the first time I’ve ever heard Clothilde raise her voice.
“You guys are unbelievable,” she says. “You both need to learn how to shut up, or I swear, I’m going to figure out how to physically hurt you.”
They both clamp their mouths shut and stare at Clothilde as if they’re five-year-olds who just got scolded.
“As I was saying…” Clothilde marks a pause, daring them to interrupt her again. “The marriage vows—which you should remember, having said them such a short time ago—include the phrase, ‘until death do us part.’ Well.” She throws out her arms. “You’re dead. Therefore, you’re no longer married.”
Silence.
Slowly, they turn to face each other. Take in each other’s gray and ghostly forms.
I can literally see the tension seeping out of them.
Could this be it? Will they be able to move on?
Audrey’s focus snaps back to Clothilde. “That’s all well and good, but what’s the point if we’re still stuck here together? This cemetery is really small. I cannot haunt this place for all eternity with him.”
Bruno opens his mouth to retaliate, but this time it’s my turn to cut him off.
“Shut it. We’ve understood you don’t like each other. There’s no need to repeat it every two minutes.”
I let the silence settle for a moment—just to make sure that, nope, they’re not fading.
No longer being married wasn’t what they needed, either.