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16. The Beach

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When I made it to the beach, there was nothing but a literal sea of white wooden lounge chairs as far as the eye can see. People were claiming their spots, and several kids were already in the water with their parents shouting for them to get suntan lotion or to come closer to the shore. An assortment of huts selling food and drinks were buzzing with sales of tourists desperate to sample the local fare.

I tossed my sunglasses onto my head as I peered over the crowd, searching for him in the sea of bodies. With each passing minute without finding him, my stomach sank.

“Where are you?”

That was when a mop of dark waves caught my eye. He was standing back at one of the food service huts. My heart kicked into high gear as my feet flew across the sand as best as they could.

I latched onto his shoulders, spun him around, and planted a deep kiss on him, claiming him as my own, regardless of the faults he thought he had. It was only when his tongue entered my mouth that I realized it was not Shawn.

After yanking myself off the guy, I took several steps back as a man with a similar build from the back but clearly not Shawn smiled at me.

“Hey, beautiful. Wanna finish what you started?”

Color flooded my face as I stumbled backward. Trying to put as much space between my mistake as possible. “I’m so sorry. I thought you were my husband.”

“Aw, it’s cool. I can be your husband if you want.”

He took a step closer to me.

“No thanks.” I whipped around, ready to bolt when I smacked right into someone else and ended up falling to my ass.

“Ow,” the voice said. A voice I knew by heart.

“Shawn?” Whipping my head up, I saw him standing there with a spilled drink running down his arm. I looked at the drink, then at him.

“Calm down. It’s lemonade,” he said. “Correction, was lemonade.”

“I’m so glad I found you. It’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack.”

“Yeah. Well, that was sort of the point.” He put the remainder of his drink on the counter beside him, where the bartender quickly whisked it away.

“I got your note,” I said, feeling shy suddenly.

“Good. You were meant to.” There was a coldness to his voice. He kept his eyes off me, choosing instead to look over my head.

“Look, can we talk?” I asked.

I watched as he clenched his jaw a few times before he glanced at his watch. “Sure. I guess we can do that. Why don’t we take a walk?”

I nodded eagerly. “I know just the place. There’s this path, but most people don’t know about it. There’s this super-private spot where there are, like, a small handful of chairs. It should be a little more private.”

“Private is good,” he agreed.

I held out a hand for him to take, but he shoved them into his pockets instead. He wasn’t wearing the swim trunks I’d packed for Day 3, which meant he wasn’t planning on swimming. There was something very unsettling about that.

For the entire walk, he didn’t say a word. He never looked at me. Instead, he followed slightly behind me. Every time I looked back to make sure he was still there, his gaze refused to meet mine.

“It should be right around this bend,” I said, following the single-step path as it snaked through the seagrass. Just as past clients told me, there was a small area of the beach that was deserted. No one else had stumbled upon this secluded slice of heaven. It held two beach chairs, a big blue umbrella, golden stretches of sand, and endless teal waters. That was it. Super private. It was everything I’d imagined and more.

“Wow. I can’t believe people don’t know this spot is here. It’s like having your own secluded beach, isn’t it?” I pulled my eyes off the crashing waves to look at Shawn. His eyes were downcast. Feet shuffling in the sand.

“Yeah. Look, can you say what you need to say so we can move on?” he asked.

“Right. Sure,” I said. “I thought maybe we could talk about what happened yesterday.”

“I’m not sure there’s anything left to say.”

“You don’t think there’s anything left to say?” I whispered. Had he cut me out of his life so quickly?

He shrugged. “I think we both came into this with different agendas. And that’s cool. We probably should have set some expectations before we boarded the boat, instead of relying on assuming what the other person wanted.”

“And what did you want from this trip?” I heard myself ask.

He shook his head once. “It doesn’t matter. I didn’t get it. I mean, is this how you wanted this week to turn out?”

Falling madly in love with a perfect stranger?

“No,” I admitted. “It’s not what I expected at all.”

“Right. So, instead of dragging this out, I think it’s best if we both just walk away.”

I stood there, my toes in the sand, the wind in my hair, the sounds of the warm waves crashing a few feet from me. I was in paradise and hell all at the same time.

“So that’s it?”

“Guess so.” His words were cold.

Ouch. Tears pricked my eyes. This was it. He really was going to abandon me. Walk out of my life like what we shared these past few days was no big deal.

“Right. Wow. I guess we chalk this up as a mistake?” I choked out.

When he didn’t deny the question, the realization hit me harder than I would have expected. I’ve been left dozens of times. Why should this feel any different? But it did. Suddenly, I had a hard time breathing properly. The rapid succession of breaths made me lightheaded, so I sat down on the edge of the beach chair and placed my hands on my head. “This has to be a record. Left by two men in less than a week. What the fuck is wrong with me?”

“Nothing,” he said quickly.

I scoffed at his attempt to make me feel better. I’d heard this speech before. I looked out at the ocean and wanted to be swallowed up under the waves rather than have this same conversation with a guy again.

In the time I’d been contemplating a final walk into the water, Shawn had come over and knelt in front of me. “There is nothing wrong with you, okay?”

I refused to look at him, keeping my focus out on the ever-changing ocean. “I’ve heard that before. So many times. Let me kill the suspense. It is me. I’m unlovable.” I felt a tear roll down my face, but I did nothing to stop it.

“Jasmine, listen to me. This is not your fault.”

At that, I risked a glance at him. This was it. He was going to leave. Unless I fought for him.

“So, then don’t go,” I begged. My hands reached out of their own accord and dug themselves into his curls and pulled him close until our foreheads touched. “Stay with me.” I could feel him resisting my pull. Fighting his own urges to give in. “We can make this work. I can change. I can be whoever you want me to be. Just please, don’t leave me. Please,” I whispered.

I was unprepared for his response.