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The keys in her hands were jingling like wind chimes in a stormy night. She was walking, but I still felt her weight exaggerated for her slim figure.
"Hey, listen. Why don't you give me the keys and let me drive?"
She didn't think twice and handed me the keys. I got in her car and pulled her chair all the way back; it never seemed to go back enough in that small car of hers, but I wasn't going to complain.
"Where will we go, now?" Pamela asked.
I had many thoughts going on in my head. I wasn't so sure myself, but it didn't take me long to answer as if where we were going was inevitable.
"I must go home first. I don't know where we will go after that, but I need to go home. We may have to go away for a while. I want to see my kids and get something before we go on our way."
Pamela did not argue as I thought she would, and she asked no questions along the short road leading to my apartment. When I looked at her, I didn't see the natural inquisitive look of someone going to a place for the first time. She looked as if she had taken the trip with me every day, but I could see she was still in shock. I was.
I turned left into our complex and started the way down. I didn't want to park right in front of my apartment building. I didn't want my wife to see me coming in another car with a beautiful woman in it. I didn't know if that mattered anymore. I didn't want this to be the last thing she would remember me by.
I took the last turn and brought the car to a dead halt as there, about fifty meters down the road was my apartment building, and two cars with flashing lights on top were right in front of the entrance.
I hoped the policeman who was standing by one car had not noticed my sudden braking, but he wasn't interested in what was happening behind him. He was looking up the building. I couldn't tell from that distance if he was looking at my balcony on the second floor.
"What are you doing? Back the car and let's get out of here." Pamela whispered as if the policeman was sitting in the backseat.
"They can't have known, and even if Omar went right back up after we left, they couldn't have gotten here so fast." Although it sounded like a reasonable thought, I was panicking myself. I had never been in a situation where I had to deal with the police my whole life.
"We can't stay here. Park the car, or leave. Don't stay like an idiot in the middle of the road."
I drove the car to the parking space which belonged to the apartment building at the corner. I needed to think for a second, or maybe, I was waiting for the police to make a move as if I were to evade the pursuit if they did with the fancy sports car I was driving and my legendary driving skills.
I was about to leave, but then two policemen came out of the gate of my apartment building with my neighbor's son handcuffed. That little bastard was a regular, down at the police station driving his father mad all the time with a bunch of losers he hanged out with. But as I looked at him and to the casual way he was walking towards the police car, I wondered how it would be like when they would come for me; it would be much more spectacular. At least this loser would get caught for petty theft or for drug possession. I was about to become famous—The man who killed the boss.
It was a relief to see the police car drive away past us taking the scoundrel with them. I turned off the car, took the keys out of the starter and got out. I made a few steps towards my place, but I noticed I was holding the wrong keys. I went back to the car, leaned in the open passenger seat window, handed the keys to Pamela, and I knew what that might mean, but I wasn't sure anything went the way I planned, so what difference would it make.
"I'll be back in five minutes. If you see anything suspicious, drive away from here and meet me at the gas station down the road."
Pamela said nothing as she snatched the keys from my hand.
The building was so quiet as usual. The arrest was uneventful after becoming a familiar scene. I opened the door and went into my study and closed the door behind me. I could see my wife was watching TV, and she would wait for me to put my stuff in the study and come back to sit with her. John and Elsa were in their room studying.
I looked around me at the workstation I had been building for years saving up money to invest in my own future business as I dreamed I'd have one someday. Now, all that future was history and all those computer parts, books, and gadgets littering my study like autumn leaves were silent looking at me neglecting them and going straight to the safe where I grabbed the money I had stashed in there in case of an emergency far less serious than this one. I looked for a while at my gun before I stashed it in my backpack. I took one of those papers on my desk and wrote a note on it. I looked at the study for one last time before I turned off the lights and left.
In the living room, my wife was on the sofa in front of the TV, but she wasn't moving. She was asleep after a long day at work. It was our usual coffee time in front of the TV. We would listen to stories about each other's days and talk from time to time about the bright future ahead, and our kids would find any excuse to come and ask us about anything to spend a little more time with us. I wished I could have woken her up and had one more cup of coffee with her before leaving, but it was better this way. Maybe, she would believe the note I left her in the study, or she wouldn't, but I couldn't talk to her as she would know I was lying and she would not let go of me until I told her everything. I wasn't sure I was ready to tell her I had just destroyed our life, but I was sure I had no time to do it.
I went to the kids' room.
"Hey, John." I kissed him
"Daddy, you're late. We have been waiting for you. It is almost bedtime. I thought you would come later, and I wouldn't be able to tell you what happened today at..."
"Hey, John. Tell me tomorrow, OK. I must go now. Daddy has something important to do."
"Where you go daddy? What about my kiss?" That was little Elsa's voice. I didn't want to turn and let the kids see the tears in my eyes. I kissed them and turned towards the door ready to leave.
"You be good kids, OK. You know daddy loves you so much."
I could see Susan was making her usual stretching moves before getting up. I rushed out of the door. I couldn't stay any longer without losing my nerves to tears.
I hurried out of the building. I didn't want to wait for Susan to go out on the balcony and see me. I could hear the door of the balcony getting opened, so I ran along the way to get to the car as fast as I could.
I was almost at the corner when I looked up, but there was no car, no Pamela waiting for me.