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Pam made a list of all the glitches she thought of in Friend, and we spent hours testing it together every day. Many nights we'd sleep on the sofa away from our bed and Friend open alone and waiting for one of us to talk, but not having any logic to answer my occasional snores. Mustafa suggested building an app, and he started working on a marketing campaign for the app. We named it Buddy according to his suggestions, and in the winter of 2017, Buddy was a fully-fledged app available on all mobile applications. The idea appealed to me because, in the months of my loneliness, I needed a Buddy to talk to, but I didn't know there were millions of people around the world who needed Buddy as much as I did, and of course, Buddy was brilliant not like any other app back then. Mustafa and Fadia worked out all the business aspects while Pam and I worked out all the technical parts.
After a few months since launching the app, we needed to have a company for the support and other logistical needs that were quickly getting bigger than we could handle on our own. Greta helped us meet some German investors as we couldn't yet have a company to our names. A month after we met Herr Heidelberg, the four of us were in our offices on a floor with over forty employees. We hit 100 million users in the second year and had over three hundred employees. Things were going up fast, and we could finally have a company on our own after they granted us the German citizenship. We had more applications, more employees and many more billions of dollars flowing in the company.
No one could have dreamed of a better ending to our suffering, and soon we almost forgot about all the bad times we had to suffer. We had one big family we enjoyed with our close friends, our business, and with our two kids, Carl and Alexander. I thought I could forget all about those whom I left behind, who are at university, a handsome young man and a gorgeous girl perhaps not surrounded by love like Carl and Alexander, doing everything on their own with a mother only God knows what happened to as I had no clue at all. I didn't risk calling or asking, except for occasional images that eventually emerged online as the kids grew older. I kept a file which included all their pictures growing up which I would spend time with in a lonely room in our mansion watching and talking to them like a crazy man, but I thought nobody was watching until a day Pam, and I were having tea in the garden.
"I meant to speak to you about something, honey." Pam tried to put all the love she had for me in the way she looked at me while she was talking.
"I know how much you love the kids and me, and you love every bit of your life as much as I do, but I have been watching you, and I know what you miss." Pam put my head on her breast like her own baby, and I called nothing else my head's haven.
"Maybe, I said I understood before we had Carl and Alexander, but now that I have become a mother, I know what you might feel with you here having realized all your dreams and your kids are still in the unknown."
"What can I do about it? Nothing."
"We have been away for over thirteen years now. To all people, we are Joseph and Maria. Besides, we can't recognize ourselves in the mirror anymore."
"What are you saying?"
I could tell from the way Pam looked at me how hard the words she was about to say were,
"Go back to Lebanon and search for them. Be their father even if you cannot tell them that you are."
I said nothing because I had been thinking about it for a long time, but I needed someone to fire up this thought in my mind. In fact, not anyone, I needed Pam to tell me this. I was waiting for her approval, her blessing.
"But honey, what is this good for? I cannot tell them I am their father. I look different, yes, but I can't go near them. What if someone recognizes me? I want to go, but I don't know if any good will come from that."
"What I know for sure is you will never find peace if you don't try. Nobody can touch you there. You are a different person. Besides, the law must have dropped our case by now."
I thought and planned this in mind for a long time, but I never thought I would do it.
"I think it's time, honey. Time to talk to Mustafa and Fadia about this."
"Why now?"
"Because I am not going there alone. If I can't do anything for my family back home, at least, I will send them somebody I trust to help them out."
Pam nodded without hesitation. These two strangers who walked into our lives as neighbors in a refugee camp were our only family as we were to them.
"It is time then. I just want you to be careful back home. We have no idea what's waiting for you there. This is home now, but that is your family, too. I want you to do everything you can to be there for them, but I can't lose you. All this, all the money and the success we have here means nothing without you. Never forget that."
"Don't worry about me, honey. We still stand after everything we've been through; nothing can break us now. Besides, I won't be long. I don't think I can just break into their lives again even after all this time. I'm still their father, the murderer, remember. I just need to make sure they are well taken care of. That's all."
I called Mustafa and Pam went out with Fadia, so we had all the night to talk about it.
"I can't believe you have gone through all this, but why didn't you stay there; you did nothing wrong. The police should have figured out that what you did was manslaughter, even self-defense." Mustafa was patient enough not to interrupt me while I was telling him the whole story, but it wouldn't surprise me if he asked questions. I would.
"We both know how it is back home, Mustafa. Unfortunately, you don't come from a much better place yourself."
"You bet."
"Who would have believed us? And even if they did, they would never leave us in peace. They had power and people who could make our lives like a living hell whether in prison or out, they could even kill us."
"Well, that brings me to the important question, what makes you think they won't kill you now if they see you back in Lebanon."
"They won't. That's why you're coming with me."
"Me, why would you need me there? I mean I would do anything for you, but what can I do for you there?"
I thought it might not have been the best idea to get Mustafa involved. He didn't have to risk everything coming with me to Lebanon, but I was glad he did not leave me hanging in there.
"Forget it, man. I'll do anything for you Joseph, or George, whatever, you are the same brother I never had, Joseph or George doesn't matter. We have been through a lot, and now we are on top of the world, but I cannot forget that God put us in each other's paths for a reason and this is not the end of the road for us. Don't worry. We'll go to Lebanon and figure out a way to get in touch with your family. If you don't do this, you'll never be able to find peace for the rest of your life. Maybe, if we succeed there, it will bigger and more important than everything we have done."
"Thank you, brother."
"Don't thank me yet. This is not going to be easy. The law may not indict you anymore on paper, but you still have the same fingerprints and DNA. They may not put you in prison, but if they blow your cover, this will bring hell to us here in Germany. These people don't take these things lightly. You must understand you are a famous man now, and you cannot let anything smear your name." Mustafa, the businessman, returned shedding all the emotions leaving only reason on the table.
"Do you think we should not do it?" I asked.
"Not at all. We must do it. We don't abandon our family. All I'm saying is that we have to be very careful."
"Are you going to tell Fadia?"
"I'd rather we keep it between us until we come back. We may not have to tell her at all. Let's keep her in the dark for now."
"When do you think we can leave?"
"I'll have everything sorted here in two days, and then we can go, but George, we need to plan every movement there. We cannot afford to slip at all."
"We won't. We've been through worse."
"So that's why you never wanted to get involved in interviews, and you kept yourself away from the public image of the company?"
"Yeah, I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, but I hope you understand now."
"I do. I'd better go now. I have a lot to do before we travel."
Mustafa left, and I waited for Pam to come back to tell her what happened. I told her not to say anything to Fadia for the time being.
I had a lot of work to do myself. I was ready to go, but I didn't know what was waiting for me there.