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Mustafa and I were waiting for our luggage in Rafik Al Hariri Airport in Beirut. The whole scene was surreal for me. I had been at this airport many times before, only this time with nobody waiting to welcome me or to say goodbye. For a long time, I forgot what it felt like to smell the air of my country, but on that day, I could not smell anything special. It was like landing in one of the many airports Mustafa, and I traveled through around the world. This place did not feel like home; I still felt like a stranger, but I was miles away from the dreams I once had in my mind of building something for myself in this country to make my family proud and be representing this tiny place with pride in front of the entire world. I got to do this as a Syrian refugee and as a German, but never as a Lebanese. What a shame I had to flee and wander half the way across the globe to do something I could have done here. I might have been still making somebody else rich if I had stayed here, but all of that didn't matter now. I had landed back home, but I hoped to do what I came here to do as fast as I could to go back home, to the real home I built, not the one I happened to be born in.
"Are you ok?" Mustafa must have noticed my straying in thoughts.
"Let's get this done and go back."
"Let's go to the hotel. We must meet someone there. We need somebody who knows his way around. A lot has changed since you left. We cannot do this on our own."
"Who's that?"
"His name is Tony, or so they call him. He was once military intelligence, but now he's kind of working on his own. He's kind of a private detective."
"I didn't know we have something like that in Lebanon."
"My friend, many things have changed since you left. Come, here is our luggage. But hey, you shouldn't be in the picture. We will sit at a table close to yours, and you will hear the whole conversation. I will have the app open at all times, but I can't risk showing your face to that man. The word is he is a fox."
"What app?"
"This app I asked that little whizz of yours, Franz, to make for me. You just open it and share whatever your phone can hear live with any other person you want. It's so secure, don't worry."
"God knows what may happen if this kid turns against us. He can suck the company dry in a day."
"You're his idol, man. He keeps talking about you all the time."
"Yeah, right, but at his age, I was not even close to what Franz can do. Great, where do I get this app."
"Oh, you don't. It's already on your mobile phone."
"I should fire that guy when we return to Germany, and maybe, you too."
"You know you can't, he'll tear down the company in a day if you piss him off, and I'm technically your boss, so."
"Do you know which finger I have up in my pocket, yeah right, that's for you."
Mustafa laughed. It was always the way things were going between us.
"You've been so busy lately my friend," I said.
"You know me, partner. If I leave the planning part to you, we'll be selling falafel in Berlin right now."
I looked at him and smiled because I knew although he was joking, he was right, and that would also be bad since I didn't like falafel.
We took a taxi to the Phoenicia Hotel in Beirut. We stayed in two big adjacent rooms with a door separating between them, which we kept open most of the time. We took no time to rest, and Mustafa made his calls and told me the man was on his way. We went down to the restaurant. I sat on a table near them with my back to the only man in the world I trusted to turn my back to. I saw Tony coming into the restaurant. He was not a big person who seemed a great fit for office intelligence work, but his apparel and the way he moved and later talked was so much reminiscent to those militia leaders in the civil war. He sat at the table facing Mustafa.
"I have heard you are a man who knows his way around." Mustafa wasn't anything close to the stereotype mafioso, but if I didn't know him well, I might have mistaken his tone for one. But as much as I knew he was faking it, the other guy was the real deal.
"And I have heard you are a man who likes discretion."
"I guess we understand each other. Let's get to the point. There is a family I would like to get information about. Can you do that for me?"
"It depends on what you want to know."
"You see this family belongs to a man who saved my life once, and it was his dying wish that I return his favor by helping his family one day if I could, and the day has come."
"Why don't you go there and help them. Why do you need me?"
"It's a little complicated. They accused this man of murder, and I don't want to get involved in something that might come to bite me later. That's all you need to know."
"I need to know as much as I need before I decide if I want to do this or not, so if that bothers you, I can walk right now with the pleasure of meeting you, Mr. Mustafa."
"Ok, Mr. Tony. What would you like to know?"
Tony asked Mustafa about the obvious names and known addresses, but none of the questions got me worried except what he said before he left. That man may not have known anything, but it was wise not to sit at one table with him for the rest of our time in Lebanon.
"I only want information without getting too close. I don't want you to ask questions about their father. I don't want anybody to get suspicious. George meant a lot to me, and I want to do this right without bringing more pain to his family. Understood?"
"I heard you the first time. Listen, I don't care if that George of yours is dead, back in Germany or right here somewhere listening to our conversation. I'm a professional doing that for a price. Since you can afford me, you don't have to worry about a thing. I'll call you when I have the information you need."
"How long do you think that might take you?"
"I'll call you when I have what you need. Nice to meet you, Mr. Mustafa." Tony said that and left the restaurant.
"Stay where you are and meet me in the room in ten minutes." It was Mustafa's voice coming from my mobile phone. I saw him leave, and I waited as he said. I finished my drink and went up to the room. When I entered the room, I saw him smoking like a chimney. He held his nerves all the time down in the restaurant, but it was his first time in a game like this. I played a hand or two before, but I bet he never did.
"We have to be very careful with that man. He creeped me out. He knows too much. I shouldn't have hired him. It's too risky."
"Calm down. He creeped me out, too, but I know his kind. All he wants is money, and that's the easy part, but you were right about not meeting with him. He would have known who I was without a second thought. We'd better keep it that way. I'm sorry I am putting you in this situation, but once we get the information we want, we'll figure out a way to help them and leave."
"Are you sure you wouldn't want to do more once you know more?"
"What makes you think I would?"
"I don't know. I don't want you to get involved and ruin everything we have worked for. I won't lie to you. I'm worried."
"Don't be. Tony is only a dog. He'll only bark if you don't throw him a bone."
I took longer than I thought to calm Mustafa, but I needed him not to lose his nerve in front of a dangerous guy like Tony. I tried to stay away from guys like him all my life when I was in Lebanon, but after all, I had been through, the getaway and the camp, nothing could frighten me anymore.
I wished Ramsey had been there; I would have trusted him to help us, but I knew he moved with his family to Australia about three years ago. I was even tempted to contact him when I was in Australia last year, but I couldn't do it. I pulled some strings there to help them find jobs and have a better life than the one they had here without letting them know about it, but I couldn't face my sister after I had abandoned the whole family a long time ago.
It was unfair when I wanted to help the people I owed much to, but I was too late. Two years ago, when I went back to Syria seeking George's family in Huash, I was shocked to know they were killed about two months after they hosted me when some faction attacked their village. Only George and his sister made it out alive, but I could not find out where they had gone. We could never hope to help the people who deserve our help in time, which makes anybody who needs help deserve it right away. I only hoped it was not too late to help my own family.
We stayed for the next three days in the hotel room. Mustafa was running the business from the hotel most of the day, but I spent most of my time on TV to see what changed in the country, but except for the new malls and cars, all was the same. They were still at each other's throats at every talk show on TV. All of them were right, and everybody was against sectarianism, but they still had it in every aspect of the Lebanese political system. Even the names of the ministers and members of the parliament who were like the rock stars of Lebanese TVs did not change much. Some old ones died or retired but kept their legacy as the only choice of the Lebanese voters. I wasn't sure if it was their fault or the fault of the people who never had the guts to take matters in their own hands and change, but who would you blame after seeing the scene in Syria after ten years of a bloody war, the country still had the same leaders sitting on top of a torn country that needs decades to go back to its former state, which was not that great, anyway.
Nothing of that mattered before as I didn't expect it to do now, but one night, I was zapping to find a channel that did not have one of those stupid shows when I saw a familiar face on the screen. I had already moved to the next channel, but I moved back and fixed my eyes on the TV to make sure I was looking at the same man I thought I was looking at, but the host did not want to confuse me at all. There he was the revered member of parliament talking about corruption and crime and the elusive dream of having a complete electricity coverage. It was Mr. Rachidy junior; Tarek Rachidy himself was a member of the parliament. I called Mustafa to come to see the man.
"Are you sure it's him?"
"Without a doubt. That was the man I ran away from in Cyprus. Well, he is a member of the parliament now. Look what the world has come to. The man is a complete idiot. I'm not saying that because I hate the guts of the Rachidy family. After all, it was his father who did it, but I still remember his pathetic attempts to assume his position as a production director. This mother fucker wasted the company's resources on stupid tasks and never understood one thing about administration or computers, but he was his father's only son. That doesn't bother me but look where he is today."
"I think nothing has changed in your country as much as it didn't in mine. But that's not good news for us, George. We should be extra careful now. The man is in a place of power."
"Why should we worry? We're not here for him. It's sad to go away all this time and come back to see this shmuck is the best this country has to offer. Whatever. Never mind."
I turned the TV off and tended to some business myself, but after about an hour, Tony called and told Mustafa he'd be in the hotel in about an hour. This time, I preferred to stay in the room and listen to their conversation from there.