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The next morning, I woke up early. I had become efficient in wearing my disguise. I didn't tell Mustafa where I was going, but I headed to the Lebanese University, the Faculty of Pharmacy, which was close to the hotel. I headed to the cafeteria and ordered a cup of coffee. I wasn't sure I would have any luck that day for I didn't the last two times I came here, and I didn't need Mustafa to tell me I was crazy this time, but I knew I would be if I kept coming to this place sitting in the cafeteria doing nothing. I was going to be busy in the coming weeks and I wanted to seize the opportunity while I could before we got ourselves involved with Rachidy Software because even I, the emotional, irrational madman as Mustafa put it the other day, knew our little ruse might be too obvious and we might have to bail out of the country as fast as we could if things went wrong. I was hoping to see her, maybe, one last time.
I was about to call it a day and get back to the hotel when three girls came into the cafeteria, and one of them was my darling Elsa. I sat back in my chair and pretended I was reading something on my phone. They walked past me towards the cash register to order. Then they took their drinks and sat at a table nearby. I couldn't help being happy to see her sitting with these girls, who looked serious, not with a bunch of punks fooling around. They had a few books with them, and they talked with their eyes altering between the books and themselves. Once more I felt this bitter proud feeling. I thought she was exactly the way I would dream she would be, but I had nothing to do with it. I did not have the right to be proud. I didn't know if I would ever qualify to be her father one day.
I knew what I was supposed to do, but I went to their table. I was nervous as if I were going to confess my love to one of them for the first time in my life.
"Good morning ladies."
"Morning...Sir," one of the girls at the table said with a big smile on her face.
I might have sounded a bit old-fashioned, but I was hoping to get the answer from another girl on the table.
I stood there looking at them like an idiot. I didn't know what the hell I was doing, but I couldn't help looking at Elsa for longer than I should for a man of my age hanging around at a university fit for people at the age of my children.
"Can we help you with anything, sir?" That was the sweet voice I was waiting for.
"I want to enroll my son at your faculty, and I wanted to ask senior students about their opinion in this faculty."
"How do you know we are seniors?" still the same sweet voice but not a friendly tone at all.
"I don't know. It's a lucky guess I think. Anyway, I'm sorry to disturb you ladies. I'll be on my way."
I went back to my table to take my stuff and leave, but Elsa was right behind me.
"Hey mister, do I know you from somewhere?"
"Not really, my child. I'm sorry to bother you and your friends. I didn't mean to. Sorry but I have to go now."
"I saw you looking at me since we came in, and this thing about your son. Nobody does that anymore, mister. You can check anything you want to know online."
"Well, I'm afraid I'm an old dinosaur. I'm not that good with technology."
"So much for an old dinosaur." Elsa pointed at my Nano-tech mobile phone, which I slid in my pocket. I wonder if she knew this was a mini supercomputer. Few people had it or knew of its existence. Mustafa was right for I was an emotional and irrational madman.
"Oh, this. No, no it's nothing."
"Do you know me, mister?"
"No, my child. We've just met you and I. I'm sorry, but I must go now. Nice to meet you."
"Do you know Susan Karam, mister?" Her question froze the blood in my veins, how could she possibly figure that out?
"Were you the man who visited her at the hospital last week?"
"I don't know what you're talking about, my child. Who is Susan?"
"Never mind, sorry mister, but that doesn't mean you can come and talk to me again. If you get any ideas about coming down here and talking to a girl, the age of your daughter and hope to get something out of it, you're mistaken, and if you think I'm impressed with your Nano-tech mobile phone, I'm not."
"I'm sorry my child."
"Don't call me my child."
I knew I had to leave at once because Elsa made a scene and I didn't want to be dragged out by the campus security.
"I'm sorry Miss. I assure you, you will never see me here again. Sorry to bother you." I said that and rushed out of the cafeteria and the whole university. That was not a good start of the game I was about to play.
Back in the hotel, Mustafa gave up trying to ask me where I was, so he told me Rachidy Software answered that it would honor them to receive us on Monday if we would like and that they were looking forward to doing business with us.
"I can tell from their response. They're thrilled to have us. I told Jimmy to call them and tell them who was coming and that we would meet them on Monday. George, are you ready for this? It's not a game, we're walking into the wolf's den."
"Yeah, sure. I'm ready." I was glad Mustafa didn't know about what happened this morning because he would know I was anything but ready. "What about you, are you ready?"
"I don't think I will ever be ready for something like this my friend, so I told myself this is another regular business deal. It will not be different from the ones I did before. Don't worry about me, but how about Franz? Do you think he's ready?"
"That little guy was born ready. I only told him I was Herr Simon Heinrich once when he first arrived, and he's been calling me Herr Heinrich ever since. He didn't slip once."
We still had four days until the meeting, so we spent them going over the plan until I could see even the enthusiasm of my biggest fan turned to boredom, so I let him be with his own preparations with the high-tech equipment we got him. He looked happy like a boy around the Christmas tree.
On Saturday, I received a call from the hospital. It was the head mother.
"I'm sorry to bother you Mr. Saroyan, but someone has been asking about you, and he wants to get your number. He just wants to talk to you."
"I told you, sister. I want to stay anonymous. I don't want anybody to know."
"I understand, but he's Susan's son. The poor kid had a rough childhood with his sister, and God knows what would happen to them if not for their grandmother, but she's gone now. He knew you visited her before she died, and he only wants to talk to you. The poor kid wants to know more about his mother. They were young when she came to the hospital, and she stopped talking a long time ago. The poor kid is desperate to talk to someone who is family. All the family except for their grandparents abandoned them and treated them as if they were the criminal, especially Susan's family. I beg you, Mr. Saroyan. Besides, you told me you wanted me to do anything I could for Susan. God took her before we could do anything, but I believe she'd want you to be there for her kids. I know you are under no obligation to do anything, but I beg you. Don't abandon those kids like their father did as all their family did. They might find in you the father they need in this critical stage of their lives. Would you do that for Susan? I mean if you really loved her, you would do that for her, wouldn't you?"
I was silent for a while. Maybe, I was waiting for something like this to happen, but I was still not ready to face them, and I didn't want them to be involved in what I was planning to do, but what if the plan didn't work, and I blew this opportunity to be close to my children again. It was what I came here to do.
"OK sister. Give him my number and let him call me." The head mother thanked me and told me how God would watch over my every step I took. He'd better do because I could not afford to screw up this time.
John called five minutes later, and I told him to meet me in a café downtown in the evening. I wore my disguise and went there. He was there with his sister, and despite all Mustafa's warnings, I went. He came with me and sat at another table to watch what was going on from a distance to make sure I wouldn't be as impulsive as he said I would. but I thought he hoped I would have enough of this crazy adventure I was going to launch the whole company into and take the kids under my wing somehow and we could all go back to Germany, and maybe one day, I could tell them I was their father. I couldn't say it hadn't occurred to me as well. After all, I didn't come back to take my revenge; I knew I couldn't bring Susan back no matter what I did, and all I had left in this country were these two angels sitting at the same table I was at looking at me with eyes filled with gratitude and curiosity like when they were much younger and waited to see what would happen next in their bedtime story, but what they said left me no other choice.
It was OK to cry when I saw them. We were all still mourning their mother, and I disguised my tears flowing down for seeing them again into tears of sadness for the departure of their mother. Elsa told me she knew it was me and blamed me for not telling her that day when we met at university. I hoped Mustafa was not listening too carefully because I never told him about my visit to the university.
We sat and talked for hours. We talked about them, and I also told them a little about myself and my work, but for most of our conversation, we spoke about Susan, how lovely and brilliant she was at university. What she liked and what she disliked. They could remember a few things from what I was telling them. I told them the same story I told the head mother and told them they were like children to me because they were my beloved Susan's children.
"We have survived without a father, Mr. Saroyan, and I can tell you we don't need one now. We want nothing from you, we just wanted to know more who our mother was." John was still addressing me formally even after I told him to call me Joseph.
"I also know about your father, he was..."
"We don't want to know about him. He's the one why we didn't get to live a normal life. He's the reason we are on our own now." As much as it hurt me to hear, I could not complain; it was only fair.
"You are not alone. You have uncle Joseph now. When I talked to your mother the day before she passed, I promised I would take care of you. Forgive me for not meeting you right away. I didn't want you to have any bad ideas about your mother. She was the most honest woman I met."
"You don't need to tell us that. We know, but as my brother said, uncle Joseph, we are doing fine. No offense, but we don't need your help."
"Of course, you don't. You're both grownups and ready to take on the world, but you will allow me this little comfort of staying in contact with you to check on you from time to time, and I will always be there for you whenever you need me."
"Thank you, uncle Joseph." I leveled up to an uncle at last
"I have to travel back to Germany for two weeks, but I will come back here. Can I ask to see you when I come back, and maybe invite you one day to visit me in Germany?"
"We'd love to. We will not sit in a café next time. We will invite you to our place, Ok?" As much as I loved to go back and visit my parents' house, I dreaded the thought of going there to see everyone was gone.
"It'll be my pleasure. You have my number, so please call me anytime if you need anything."
I got to hold them in my arms and kiss them while saying goodbye. I could stop time right then. I could kidnap them and take them with me to Germany and let the world burn; I didn't care, but after what they said about their father, I knew none of this bliss would ever last if I could not prove to them I was innocent.
I was surprised Mustafa was silent all the way back to the hotel. He didn't even call me a madman for any reason. He heard every word we said, and he didn't need more than one look from me when we got back to the hotel room to know there was no way in the world I would turn back now.