CASSIE
With the windows down, the wind blowing my hair into a tangled mess, and the radio blasting, I should have been full of positive vibes. All that plus, ducking school and being alone with Jason should have been something to be excited about. Instead, dread built a camp in my stomach and settled there. I wanted to help him find the transportation to his new planet. I really did, but, the thought of him leaving bothered me, making my heart feel heavy.
We rode in silence to an area by the Void not far from the waterfall Jason had taken me to. Though the waterfall wasn’t in sight, I heard the faint sound of water rushing down to the rocks below. The trees were wide and thick here, creating a canopy that didn’t allow much sun. Climbing up onto a flat, wet rock, I slipped a little, and Jason caught me around the waist, swinging me to the safety of another. My hair blew across my face, and Jason gently pushed it back. My skin tingled from the contact, and I wished time would freeze this moment. I’d never wanted to kiss a guy as badly as I did him, but Jason was already pulling away. A lump formed in my throat. How could I feel ecstatic and hopeful one minute, yet sad and without hope the next? I wanted to memorize his features, drink in every smile. I was acutely aware of the timbre of his voice and the way he moved. My emotions were running around like they were playing hide and seek from the truth when it suddenly hit me. What I felt for Jason was more than like. More than the fact of falling. I’d already fallen. I was in love with Jason. I’d fallen for an alien. I’d never seen it coming. Though I knew he wanted me, he’d never indicated that he felt the same way.
I blinked. “Sorry. Lost in thought.”
“I said there are two agents patrolling.”
I paused to listen. “I don’t hear anything.”
“You will.”
Footsteps crunched across small, wet rocks. I could barely hear them over the birds loudly calling. We crouched down, hiding in the lush greenery as the agents passed less than three feet in front of us.
I took a breath, enjoying the adrenaline flooding my body. It made me feel strong and not so weak as I’d felt since the attack. “We have exactly ten minutes to make it from here to that line of trees before the agents turn around and head this way again.
“You’ve done this before,” Jason said, sounding impressed.
“Lots of times when I was searching for alien artifacts.” When he gave me a puzzled look, I explained, “I used to come up here because I wanted to find clues to help catch aliens.”
Jason’s expression was soft, regretful. “Was this before you were hurt?”
I nodded, hating remembering how helpless I’d been. “After I was attacked, I became so afraid that I didn’t hike this far.”
He was quiet for a second. “Did you get a look at who attacked you?”
“The counselor my parents insisted I see says that I probably did but my mind blanked it. She says that’s common after a trauma and that one day I might remember.”
“You’re lucky you survived,” he said.
I frowned at that. “I know, and I know there’s something there that I can’t recall.” I shrugged, wanting to stop talking about it.
He seemed to pick up on how I was feeling and said, “Ready?”
“Ready,” I confirmed.
We shot out of our hiding place and ran for the trees. Jason slowed his pace to let me keep up with him. He could do everything faster than a human. I could only imagine how frustrating it must have been for him at times having to rein himself in so he wouldn’t attract attention.
“Where have you searched for alien artifacts?” he asked.
“I left my grid at home. I marked each spot off on a map and color coordinated it with—” My cheeks flamed at my nerdiness when he grinned at me. “I like organization.”
“I wasn’t making fun.” After a several seconds of him staring at me, my mouth went dry. The way our gazes were locked together felt like we were the last two people in the world. It made my emotions go to war with each other. Tell him how I feel. No, don’t tell him.
Then, he swallowed, blew out a breath, and moved a few steps away. He touched the side of a large boulder. “These cracks, have you seen them before?”
“They’re all over the rocks on the other side of the tree line, but that’s as far as I’ve searched. Why? What are they?”
He exhaled. “They’re stress fractures. We must be directly over part of the Void.” He looked at me, his eyes blazing, his jaw set. “Don’t come up here alone again.”
Struggling with my feelings for him had already set me on edge, and his alien arrogance pissed me off. My mouth dropped open. “I think I missed the part where you became my boss.”
“Come here.” He pulled me closer and trailed his fingers along the fractures in the rock, pointing out one of them that was about six inches longer than the rest. “Put your fingers in there.”
When I did, my fingers disappeared into the rock and bits of it crumbled, dissolving as easily as if it were sand. “What’s happening?”
“I’m not sure, but I know it’s not supposed to be like that. The rock and the area nearby is weak. The ground could collapse out from under you. So I’m telling you not to come here by yourself.”
“Because you care?” I asked in a flippant tone to cover the hope.
“Because if the ground gives way, and our spaceship is there, you could cause it to tumble into the Void and we’d never be able to get it out.”
“You’re worried about the ship,” I said slowly. What an idiot I was. “I thought you were concerned for my safety. I thought we were becoming friends.” Friends? I wanted more than that.
His eyes changed form brown to blue, then quickly back again. “I’m trying,” he said, forcing the words out through his teeth. “Being around you causes my power to want to strike out defensively. Like when a bear or a lion is around a human being. Their first instinct is to attack to protect their surroundings or their offspring.”
“You want to attack me?” My voice quavered and I took several steps backward even though it wouldn’t do much good if I did run. He could easily overtake me. I was more than an idiot. I’d been thinking I was in love with him and he’d been thinking about me as his enemy?
“No, I don’t want to attack you.” He sounded frustrated like I wasn’t paying attention. “I’m telling you that I act the way I do and push you away because it’s a primal thing. It’s not a conscious behavior.”
“You can control it?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“And if you can’t?”
“Then run like hell.”
I put my hand on my forehead. “You’re not making me feel safe around you now.”
“I’ve had years of practice pretending to be a human. If I didn’t think I could control myself, I never would have brought you here.” He patted the rock. “I’ve told you that I’d never hurt you and I meant it.”
“But how can you be sure? Inside your mind you’re not fighting the urge to go alien warrior on me, are you?”
“Alien warrior?” He scoffed at that. “You were around me long before you knew what I was and I never hurt you. In fact, I saved you. Remember?”
“The river,” I said, remembering the day he’d rescued me from drowning. I wrapped my arms protectively around myself. “I learned to swim after that.” I didn’t tell him how that came to be. “But I haven’t been in any kind of public water place since my attack.”
“Why not?”
“The thought of exposing my scars…”
Jason lifted his chin toward the waterfall. “It’s hot enough so that we can go swimming, and there’s no one else here but us.”
Show my scars? Strip down in front of Jason?
“No,” I said vehemently.
“You can let fear build up in your mind until the emotion itself is actually greater than what you’re afraid of.”
“Getting in the water won’t fix me,” I said. It was easy for him to talk about taking off his clothes and diving in. He had the perfect body and nothing to fear.
“No, but we can’t risk searching for anything with the agents making the rounds. We can take a few minutes and get in the water to cool off.”
I had to admit his idea did sound a little tempting. I chewed on the inside of my cheek as I lifted my hair.
“C’mon, Cassie. I want to cool off, but I don’t like the idea of leaving you alone up here.”
“Fine,” I agreed even though I was embarrassed at the thought of Jason seeing my scars in broad daylight.
We trekked back to the waterfall and stood together on a large rock overlooking the rush of water. I was wearing a pair of dark blue boy shorts under my jeans so I wasn’t worried about showing too much of my body in front of him. My underclothes covered more than a bathing suit would. Without waiting to see what he was going to do, I stripped down, and dove cleanly into the water, loving the cold shock against my heated skin. When I surfaced, Jason was nowhere in sight. Dog paddling, I searched around me, then looked up.
He was standing on the rock in his underwear, and I was thankful I had my mouth closed because I forgot to keep swimming and sank below the water level. I broke the surface in time to seem him leap from the rock. He was beautiful. Poetry in a living being. He moved through the water with quick, powerful strokes, then flipped over onto his back, and lazily floated across the water.
He lifted an eyebrow at me. “Liked what you saw, didn’t you?”
So conceited.
I ducked below him and reappeared at his head. As I shoved his face under the water, his legs scissored, and I took off, laughing out loud and swimming with all my might away from him.
JASON
I spit out the mouthful of water and took off after Cassie. It had taken a lot of willpower not to react when she’d stripped down. Yeah, she was scarred, but she also had a rocking body that I’d had to force myself not to stare at. I’d tried to scare her off with my talk about primal instincts. I needed her to be cautious, to tread carefully, to tell me to stay away from her. I needed her to hold on to the initial fear and disgust she’d had toward me when she’d first learned I was alien. It was better that way. Staying where we each belonged. Human. Alien. When she pushed me under the water, I swam after her. Fun and games. Nothing more than that. In seconds I reached her and angled my body in front of hers, cutting off her escape. I laughed at her impish grin. My heart felt weightless and in that instant, I was no longer existing, but living. Because of the beautiful girl in front of me. Because I was falling for her. Not that I’d ever tell her that. I was the last guy she needed.
She pushed her wet hair away from her eyes and stared at me. “I wish I knew what went on inside your head. I’ve thought about what your life must be like, never being able to trust anyone.”
I thought about the way I’d had to live my life. Keeping everyone at bay. Making sure I never got into a relationship with a girl. “Sometimes, it’s difficult.”
“You miss out on so many experiences.”
I splashed water at her, and she splashed back, not giving up. “Like dating. But then again, you could have dated Evonie or any other alien girl, right?”
I rolled my eyes. “Evonie is a family friend and I’m not attracted to her. There are no other alien girls on the planet.”
“You could have dated a human girl.”
She didn’t understand the reasons why I’d had to live my life the way I had. “I’ve had to be careful when I made out with girls, and keep my power on the defensive, otherwise, the girl would know I was different.”
“How?” She frowned, not understanding.
I wet my lips “The physical contact can cause a transference of what I feel to the other person. And it’s stronger, more powerful than human emotion.” I swallowed. “It’s why sex with me would be different than with a human guy.”
“How does it work? What are the scientific parameters that even make something like that possible? You’re talking about dividing emotions,” she blurted out, and then blushed as if she realized how nerdy she sounded.
“It’s hard to explain. I’ve never lowered my defensive power with any girl, and I can’t really describe what happens if I did that. You’d have to experience it.” My body temperature rose several degrees as I considered her experiencing it. The water warmed around us.
Her brow furrowed. “How is that possible other than kissing me or us…um…sleeping together?”
I didn’t know if she was asking because she was flirting or if she’d asked because that was the way her analytical mind worked. She was a never-ending puzzle that I couldn’t figure out. I didn’t know if she genuinely liked me. If she wanted to kiss me the way I wanted to kiss her.
I needed to tell her there were lines aliens shouldn’t cross with humans. Kissing her would be as smart as approaching her father and telling him I was an alien.
The water rippled when Cassie smoothed her hands across it. “This is one of those times I definitely wish I knew what was going on inside your head.” She glanced up with a certain look in her eye.
One I’d seen from other girls like Evonie. Cassie Grant wanted me. She wanted me to lower my defensive shield so she could experience it. So she could experience me. I swallowed hard. Even as strong as I was, I found that hard to resist.
Knowing I shouldn’t, but unable to stop, I swam closer until I bumped against her. The brush of her bare legs against mine in the water made my heart speed up. “This is a bad idea. I need you to tell me to leave you alone.” My imagination was getting the best of me. I could imagine being with her. Tasting her lips, her skin. I could imagine holding her, making her mine and becoming hers. The power within me hummed as my hunger for her grew. She looked up at me. Water glistened off her skin and droplets trailed down to places on her body that I wanted to touch.
“I can’t tell you to leave me alone,” she whispered. Her fingers touched my chest. Tentatively at first, and then she opened her hand and pressed her palm flat against my skin. I sucked in a breath.
“Cassie.” I meant to say it as a warning, but it came out as a plea.
Her soft lips parted and she breathed out temptation. “Because I don’t want you to.”
I meant to be careful. I meant to keep my distance. I meant to protect myself like I’d always done with a girl, but my power to withstand was weaker than her power over me. I locked my arms around her waist, drawing her toward me as if I could absorb her body into mine. Touching the bareness of her skin was in equal parts thrilling and disturbing.
I gazed down into her eyes and couldn’t look away. When I glanced at her lips, she parted them, breathed my name. I didn’t have the strength to fight the attraction humming through my veins. I took a breath, breathed out, and lowered the defensive side of my power, allowing myself to be vulnerable, to let her into a place no girl had ever gone.
I kissed her softly and her response was the elixir of life, imprisoning me with its magic. I didn’t know it could be like this. Fire and water. Calm breezes and hurricane force winds. Silence and a thousand decibels. I ran my tongue along the fullness of her lower lip. She clung to me, opening up, giving me permission and pressing closer. I tangled my tongue with hers, sucking gently. I took, and she gave but one kiss and she owned me. I was free-falling holding her. Flying, as I drank her in. In the fog of an almost consuming haze, I had to put my shield back up for both our sakes. I lifted my head and let the water drift me away from her. I took in deep breaths, trying to calm my body’s reaction to her.
Tears glimmered on her long lashes. With a shaky hand, she touched her lips. “I felt that all the way to my soul.”
We stared at each other, unable to look away.
“Now what?” she whispered.
“Now we forget about this and go home.” I turned my back to her and swam with fast strokes to the rock. I sounded like a jerk, but I had to do something to push her away. She and I could never be, and I was an idiot to take things as far as I had. An idiot to let her in.
I pulled myself onto the rock and dressed quickly. The world I’d always known was in danger of falling apart. The die-hard truths governing our rules had always been unshakable. Humans were the enemy. We don’t mingle with them. We don’t save them. We never develop feelings for them. Yet, I’d broken every rule. Stupid rules that didn’t make sense anymore. I needed them to make sense.
I watched Cassie slowly make her way toward me. God, I wanted her. Her shoulders were back, her body stiff. She looked pensive and I had to fight the urge to kiss her again.
She hauled herself onto the rock, and reached for her clothes. Holding them in her lap, she looked at me. I expected theatrics, not bluntness. “Can you forget about it?”
“I have to.” I lowered my voice to barely a mumble. “Or at least try.”
“I’ll protect your secret from my father, Jason, and I—”
“I’m not worried about protecting myself. I’m worried what will happen to you if your father finds out you knew about me and didn’t report it.”
What I’d said pleased her, and I hated that I’d let it slip that she mattered. Because in the end, I couldn’t give her a damn thing.
She smiled. Bright sunshine after a stormy day. “It’s okay, Jason. We don’t have to have all the answers.”
I raked a hand through my hair. My emotions were twisted around inside and I couldn’t think straight. Every ounce of me wanted to let her in again.
Cassie picked up her shoes and gingerly leaped down from the rock. “For what it’s worth, I won’t forget that kiss.” She paused. “Or what that connection was like.”
Great. I followed after her, trying hard to convince myself everything would go back to the way it was, and the kiss didn’t matter, hadn’t changed a thing. The lie ate at my stomach like a bitter acid. As soon as I shared with my family what I’d learned about the fissures in the rock, the end would begin for Cassie. For me. Because leaving her, letting her world be destroyed, was the end of me.