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Alessia
I blink my eyes against the bright morning sun and I realize that I’ve slept through the entire plane ride. The flight attendant comes over the intercom to say that we’ll be landing in a few minutes. I look out at the rolling green landscape underneath us and I realize that I have no idea where we are or where we’re going.
And weirdly, I don’t even care. I feel as numb this morning as I did when I fell asleep at the beginning of the flight. It almost feels like I’m watching myself in a movie. Like this isn’t even happening to me in my real life.
I look over and see that Dare is awake. He’s typing something into his phone and doesn’t notice that I’m awake. His tray table is down and there’s two glasses of orange juice, two paper cups of coffee, two mushed little croissants in plastic bags and two apples.
My stomach rumbles for the food, but I don’t move. I don’t want him to realize I’m awake yet. I take the opportunity to study him. He’s as handsome as ever. Painfully so. I realize that I didn’t always think he was handsome. Captivating? Yes. Powerful? Yes. Deeply attractive? Yes. But handsome? That’s a recent development. It probably happened about the time I fell in love with him.
I close my eyes at that thought. Love. With Dare. What awful timing to admit something like that. In love with a man who thinks so little of me.
But how could I not love him? I think about the way he holds me, looks at me, gives me pleasure, carries my bag, listens to me. Sees me. And then I think about the sight of him sprinting across that parking lot. How half of me was weak with relief that he was there to protect me, and the other half was terrified that he was about to get himself killed.
I push that thought away. I’m not ready to think about yesterday. Any of it. Not the phone call with Dante, or Fabi’s disappearance, or Rett’s disappearance, or the fight with Dare or the men in the car.
I purposefully make my mind go blank. Needing a distraction from my thoughts I start to stretch and yawn. Dare immediately puts his phone down and turns to me.
“Hi,” he says, so simply it breaks my heart for some reason.
I don’t have it in me to greet him back. I can barely look at him. “Any of that for me?” I ask, nodding at the food on his tray.
“Half of it,” he says and gives me a little smile.
I reach for the coffee and the orange juice, nursing both of them. The hot and the cold feels so good on my throat. I realize that I’m parched.
“How’d you sleep?” he asks.
I shrug, not really wanting to talk. I feel like if I do, I’ll lose it. If I say anything, I’ll have to say everything. I’ll have to talk about what happened. My fears for my brothers. My shock over my father’s arrest. I’ll have to tell Dare that I’m so mad at him and so sad that he thinks I’d do any of the things he accused me of and I’ll have to tell him I love him.
So I say nothing. And just watch out the window as the ground comes up to meet our plane.