Cinder
I was going to hell, assuming this wasn’t it already. Having Meg in my lap earlier had felt a little too damn good, and now she was cuddled against my side like she belonged there. The scent of her, the feel of her soft skin and hair, was driving me crazy. I was a grown-ass man and knew how to keep myself in check, but fuck if I hadn’t been hard since she’d tumbled onto my lap at the clubhouse. Being the idiot I am, I’d kept her there. I’d caught the looks from the others, but they were wrong. Just because I had a soft spot for Meg didn’t mean that I was going to marry her and settle down.
I just needed to get laid. Trouble was that I didn’t find anyone appealing these days. I’d had offers, and turned them all down after that last one-night stand roughly six months ago, and that sin had come knocking on my door today by way of an angry husband. Just proved that you couldn’t trust a woman, or at least the ones I seemed to attract. When I’d been younger, I’d been chased by women who wanted a ring on their finger and a military man on their arm. I hadn’t fallen into their traps, and I didn’t plan on landing in any now.
Meg laughed at something happening on TV but I hadn’t even been paying attention. She’d asked to watch a comedy, something lighthearted. It hadn’t mattered to me what was on as long as she was happy. That was another thing that bothered me. I didn’t give a shit if a woman was happy, not usually. I wanted my men’s wives and old ladies to be happy because they were family, but Meg was just a stray who wouldn’t go away. She’d had nowhere to go when Jordan had said the women were coming with us, and even though the others were long gone, she remained.
I didn’t like the way my body responded to her, didn’t like the way she was on my mind more often than she should be, or that I gave a shit at all what happened to her. Instead, I found my heart aching for all she’d suffered and wanting to see her smile. I hadn’t even hesitated to set up a party for her when she’d told me about the last ten years of birthdays, knowing that I needed to give her some good memories. It hadn’t escaped my attention that Irish and Janessa were matchmaking. I’d have to speak with them later and tell them to back the hell off. I didn’t want Meg getting the wrong idea. I already cared too damn much about the woman as it was, but there wasn’t a future for us.
My VP was nearly as damn old I was, but he had kids, and there were plenty of youngsters in the club for someone to take over when I decided to step down. Not that I planned to do that anytime soon. I might be nearing sixty, but I had a lot of life left in me. This club was all that mattered to me, and even when I took a step back, I’d still be a part of it. And like it or not, Meg was quickly becoming part of the Devil’s Boneyard, which meant she mattered to me. That’s all it was, her tie to the club.
I nearly snorted, not even believing it when I said the words to myself. No, whether I liked it or not, Meg mattered to me not because of the club but because of who she was. I’d never met a sweeter woman, except possibly Clarity. Even Clarity had more fire in her than Meg did, but Meg had shown me a side I’d never seen before tonight. She was also a protector. I hadn’t needed her help, and it pissed me off that she’d gotten in the way of that hothead, but it also made me feel all warm and funny that she’d cared enough to try to help me.
She kept fidgeting with the hem of her dress and I wondered if she was uncomfortable. I hadn’t exactly given her a chance to go back to her place for a change of clothes. I patted her as I stood up, and she blinked up at me, looking insecure and uncertain for a moment. I wanted to kick the shit out of every man responsible for that look. She was like an abused puppy, waiting to see if her new master was going to hurt her too. Oh hell. I closed my eyes and nearly groaned at that thought. Meg on her knees, hands in her lap, and staring up at me with those wide eyes, waiting on her next order.
Fucking. Hell. Yeah, good ol’ Lucifer was definitely holding a place for me, likely at his right-hand side. Move over, princes of hell, because I was going to give them a run for their money at this rate.
“Something wrong?” she asked. “Should I go home?”
“You’re fine staying here, but you’re uncomfortable. None of my pants will fit you, but I have a shirt that will be long enough to cover everything important. The material should be more comfortable than what you have on right now.”
She slowly stood and smoothed her dress down, the dress that was giving me impure thoughts no matter how demure it might be. I’d never seen her in one before, and now that I’d gotten a good look at those tempting legs, I was having a hard time not picturing them around my waist. Hell, maybe I wasn’t going to be sitting at Lucifer’s side. Maybe I was going to dethrone him and just take over.
“Y-you want to lend me a shirt?” she asked. “One of yours?”
I nodded and waited to see what she’d make of that. I had no idea what went through her mind most days. She’d either take it as a genuine offer for her comfort, or see the depraved thoughts going through my mind and run like hell. I wouldn’t blame her for taking option two.
“I’d like that,” she said.
She followed me to the back of the house, and we stepped into my bedroom. She’d been in here before, but never with me. I went over to the dresser and pulled open the second drawer, then picked a shirt I knew was soft and on the long side. I handed it to her, then started past her, giving her privacy to change, but she placed a hand on my arm and stopped me.
“Thank you,” she said. “For everything. The party was wonderful, and I’ve enjoyed spending time here with you tonight. I know I’m a needy mess and you’re probably looking forward to the day I leave, but I appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”
“Not kicking you out,” I said, my voice gruff as I fought down my emotions.
“That’s because you’re a good man. And don’t try to shrug me off and say you aren’t because I know different. I’ve seen evil, Cinder, looked it in the face every day for a decade. Just because you may not do things in a one hundred percent legal way doesn’t make you a bad man.”
“Don’t make me into some sort of saint, Meg. I’m not. I’m just a man with faults and desires like everyone else.”
She nodded and let me go, taking a step back and clutching the shirt to her chest. I turned to go and pulled the bedroom door behind me. At the last second, I looked over my shoulder and couldn’t contain the growl that rose in my throat. She’d already pulled off her dress and had a large bruise on her abdomen from the jackass who had hit her earlier. Not caring if I scared her, I slammed the door back open and stormed inside. Her eyes went wide and she whimpered as I got closer.
“When were you going to tell me?” I asked.
She stared, her heart beating so hard I could see it thumping inside her chest and in the pulse point in her neck.
“The bruise, Meg,” I said, waving at her stomach. “When were you going to tell me you were in pain?”
She glanced down as if just realizing it was there. “It’s not the first one I’ve received. It will hurt for a while, and then it will fade.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose and closed my eyes to contain my anger so I wouldn’t lash out at her. After counting to twenty, then doing it again backward, I opened my eyes and looked down at her. She didn’t seem all that bothered by the fact she was nearly naked in front of me, and I wasn’t sure if I liked the fact she trusted me that much, or felt insulted that she didn’t think I’d ever make a move on her. She was right, though. I wasn’t. Or rather, I didn’t plan to make one. Having her so close was fucking with my head, though, and I was wanting things I shouldn’t.
“You need to ice it and take something for the pain,” I said. “Get changed and I’ll have an ice pack ready when you get back to the living room.”
She pulled the T-shirt over her head, then reached behind her. I watched in fascination as she pulled her bra off through the sleeves of the shirt and let it fall to the floor. I’d heard of women who could do that, but I’d never seen it happen firsthand. Impressive. And oddly, a big turn-on. Or maybe it was the fact I knew she only had on a pair of panties under my shirt.
Meg moved closer and reached out, sliding her hand into mine. It gave me a jolt, not having expected her to do such a thing. The kiss on my cheek earlier had shocked the hell out of me, and now she was holding onto me as if it were the most natural thing in the world. For a woman who never wanted anyone to touch her, she was making a lot of bold moves tonight. Someone else might have acted on that show of trust, but I knew I couldn’t offer her what she needed.
I led her into the kitchen and had her sit at the table while I prepped an ice pack. When I was finished, I knelt at her feet and motioned for her to lift the shirt. She did without hesitation, holding it only high enough for me to see the mark on her skin, and I placed the pack against the bruise. She hissed in a breath as the cold material touched her skin and I couldn’t help but notice her nipples hardened.
“Thank you,” she said softly. “No one’s ever cared before.”
“You said it wasn’t your first time being bruised. Silva and his men hit you?” I asked.
“Sometimes. Usually, they were content making me service them like a good little whore, but there were some who got off on hitting a woman or choking her.”
A red haze settled over my vision as I thought about those men abusing her. She had such a sweet, gentle soul. I didn’t know how she’d survived with her mind intact, but she’d managed. No matter what it took, I’d make sure she had the kind of life she deserved. If that meant she lived here at the compound for the rest of her life, then so be it. I’d find a way to deal with my attraction to her.
“Never again, Meg. You don’t have to do any of that ever again. The next time you’re with a man, it will be because you want it to happen. Any fucker who lays a hand on you without your permission will answer to me.”
“And the ones who do have my permission?” she asked, staring at me intently.
“I can’t exactly kick their ass if you invited them into your bed.”
“What if there’s only one man I might want in my bed?” She licked her lips and her gaze dropped to my mouth. “Did you know I’ve never really kissed anyone before? I didn’t date in high school, and Silva and his men didn’t kiss.”
“Is that what the birthday girl wants? A birthday kiss?” I asked.
She nodded. “But only if it’s from one particular man.”
“And who might that be?” I asked, knowing I was playing with fucking fire.
“You. Would you kiss me, Cinder?”
“On one condition,” I said. I’d lost my damn mind. It was the only reason I could think to do what I did next. “Call me Vincent. When it’s just us anyway. In front of the club I’m still Cinder.”
She smiled softly and her eyes lit up. It was like I’d just given her the best gift ever. I knew I was going to regret this, but I didn’t want to deny her the one thing she truly seemed to want. It was a small request in the scheme of things.
“Then kiss me… Vincent.”
I wrapped her hair around my hand and pulled her closer, my lips brushing against hers. It was akin to being struck by lightning, and that one small taste was nowhere near enough. I licked at her bottom lip until she opened, and then I deepened the kiss… and knew that I’d been right all along. I was going to hell. Not because I’d made a move on Meg, but because I was kissing an angel and was nowhere near worthy of her.
She melted against me and I held her tight, wanting to savor this moment because I had no doubt it would be a one-time thing. No way she’d want more from me. Even if she did, it would be a brief fling and nothing more. I couldn’t give her the fairy-tale ending she needed, the one she deserved. I hadn’t had a steady woman in my life in over thirty years.
I pulled back, needing to put some space between us, and I stood slowly. Her eyes were still closed, her lips parted, and there was a rosy hue to her cheeks. She was enchanting, and easily the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. I rubbed the back of my neck and took a step back, then another, until I was far enough away that I couldn’t feel her body heat.
“I never knew it could be like that,” she said, her eyes opening. There was a smile curving the corners of her lips and a dreamy expression on her face. That’s when I knew I was fucked.
“We should finish that movie while you ice your bruise,” I said. “Let me get some Tylenol for you.”
I reached into the cabinet next to the sink and took down the bottle, then got her a glass of water. I set both on the table. Slowly, she reached out and shook two pills from the bottle and downed them, but her gaze locked on me again.
“Vincent.” She stood and moved closer.
I tensed, bracing myself for her touch and knew I shouldn’t follow my instincts, which were screaming at me to toss her over my shoulder and carry her to the bedroom. What I needed to do was the get the hell away from her as fast as possible before I broke her more than Silva and his men had. She was recovering nicely from her time in Colombia, but I knew a broken heart could last a lifetime.
“The kiss shouldn’t have happened, Meg. I’m sorry.”
She paled a little and visibly swallowed before giving me a slight nod. Without another word, she quietly went back to the living room, this time sitting on the far end of the couch. I reclaimed my seat and tried not to think about how wrong it felt for her to be so far away. When the movie ended, she stood and shifted from foot to foot.
“Could you please show me where I’m sleeping tonight? You mentioned the guest room, but I can stay on the couch. Or should I go back to my place?” she asked.
“You can stay.” I wouldn’t go back on my offer, even if the idea of her being just down the hall was more temptation than I thought I could withstand. I showed her to the guest room, and she went inside, then shut the door in my face. I stared at it a moment, then went about locking up the house for the night and shutting off the TV and lights. I typically left my front door unlocked in case someone needed me quickly, but with Meg staying here I wasn’t taking any chances.
I left my bedroom door partially open in case Meg needed anything tonight. I’d slept naked every night since leaving the Marines, but with a woman under my roof, I decided to leave the boxers on. I slid into bed and shut off my bedside lamp. Folding my arms behind my head, I stared up at the ceiling and wondered if I’d made a huge mistake by kissing Meg. The look on her face wasn’t one I would likely forget anytime soon. First that look of complete contentment and then the shuttered expression after I pushed her away. It was better to hurt her a little now than a lot more later.
Sleep wouldn’t claim me, and I kept playing the kiss over and over in my head, and her wounded expression when I’d told her it shouldn’t have happened. I felt like the biggest asshole ever, but I’d done it to protect her. Right? At this point, I wasn’t sure I could even convince myself of that fact, much less anyone else.
I always kept my cell phone on the bedside table at night, and the screen lit with an incoming message before the chime sounded. I grabbed it and unlocked the phone before reading the text from Shade. At first I couldn’t understand a word of it, and then it all clicked into place. I tossed the covers aside and called Shade as I paced the bedroom.
“Sorry to interrupt your night,” Shade said. “Heard Meg was staying with you.”
“She’s asleep in the guest room. Her birthday doesn’t have good memories and she didn’t want to be alone at her place,” I said, then wondered why the hell I was justifying my actions to anyone.
“Right, so I didn’t think this could wait until tomorrow. The Inferno didn’t disappear completely like we’d hoped. From the reports I’m seeing, there are more of them in the area,” Shade said.
“Okay, so we’ll deal with them.” Might have to call in extra clubs again, but I knew they’d be willing to help. The Inferno wasn’t just our problem. They were an issue for all our allies.
“Not that easy. It’s not just random woman they’re going after, Cinder. They know we were part of the crew that took down their initiates. They’ve put a price on all our heads, and…” Shade stopped and I heard his keyboard clicking. “They’ve gotten pictures of the women and kids. I can’t find anything more than their photos and a mention of a reward if the women and kids are captured, except one.”
“Who are they targeting?” I asked.
“It’s Meg, Cinder. They’ve already put her up for auction even though she’s obviously sleeping soundly at your place. But it means they’re confident enough about their ability to get their hands on her, which is a big red flag for me. That woman never goes anywhere unprotected, but that doesn’t seem to be a deterrent for them. The post is new, just went up tonight, which means they somehow know she’s important to you.”
The line was quiet and I knew Shade hadn’t told me everything. Fury was building inside of me that anyone would think to go after the women and kids of the club, and I was especially pissed they were already trying to sell Meg. I ignored his little dig about her being important to me. I could deny it all I wanted, but actions spoke louder and all that shit.
“We have a rat,” I said. “Dig as deep as you need to into every patched member, every officer, and every Prospect. Someone is selling information and has put everyone in danger. I want to know who the fuck it is, and I want to know now, dammit.”
“On it. I’ll pull everyone’s financials and hack into any of their online accounts. Everything from social media to email, I’ll know every detail of their lives by noon tomorrow.”
“Make it sooner, Shade. I don’t give a shit what you have to do to make that happen. Call Outlaw and Wire. I trust the both of them. I’ll call Torch and Griz to tell them what’s going on. If these fuckers are coming after us, there’s no reason they won’t try the same with everyone who helped rescue Janessa. I’ll talk to Reckless Kings and Hades Abyss, as well.”
“Cinder, I know you well enough to understand you’re resistant to having Meg in your life, but you seriously need to consider keeping her with you until we handle this shit. If we do have a rat, then she’s not safe at her place.”
I grunted, knowing he was right about her safety, and not liking that he knew me that damn well. He’d been a kid when he’d patched in, but Shade had become invaluable to this club. As I thought about it, I knew I could exclude Jackal, Havoc, and Scratch from the list of suspects. No way they’d put their families in danger.
“You can exclude anyone with a woman and kids,” I said. “In fact, let Havoc know what’s going on. I’ll send a message to Scratch. We may need to meet, but I need to find a way to not make it suspicious for the others.”
Shade was still clicking on the other end, but he paused mid-keystroke. “The Reapers have a playground at their compound, right?”
“Yeah, and a picnic area, and who knows what else by now. It’s like their community exploded and looks more like a small town than a biker compound these days.”
“Well, we have kids here. Why not meet somewhere off the path but inside the gates. We could say we’re discussing the logistics of adding a family friendly area,” Shade said. “I could print some shit off and make it look like we’re checking out blueprints.”
“Not a bad idea. Of course, neither is actually adding that kind of shit. We could add a fenced area with play stuff for the kids and maybe a covered pavilion with picnic tables and some grills. Doesn’t have be huge, but a place where Josie, Clarity, Jordan, and Janessa can take the kids to play and not worry about chasing after them.”
“I know some of the guys like Stripes will never settle down, but there are plenty of us who wouldn’t mind a steady woman in our lives and maybe some kids,” Shade said. “I think it would be a good investment. And there’s something else.”
“What?” I asked.
“The duplexes. I think we need to make sure they’re all furnished and stocked with essentials. If shit gets bad, Scratch and Jackal will need to bring their families inside the gates. Where would they stay right now?” Shade asked.
“Good point. When you speak to Havoc, tell him to handle that shit. I want everyone inside these gates no later than noon tomorrow. Fuck, I can’t even ask the Prospects to go guard them until then. Who the hell knows if I can trust any of them at this point?”
“We’ll handle it, Pres. Just like we always do.”
I sighed and hung up the phone, then spent the next hour spreading the word about our problem, at least to those I trusted. Reckless Kings offered to send Copper and two others to help. Hades Abyss was sending Fox and Shooter to us, as well as few members over to the Reapers just in case they were targeted too. Devil’s Fury was sending Wolf and Dingo. Torch offered help, but in case The Inferno was going to hit him too, I declined. If things got worse, then I’d reconsider and accept aid from him. Now it was a waiting game while I got all my chess pieces into place and hoped like hell The Inferno didn’t strike before then.