Seventeen
Stress
Periphery quiz item #17:
Stop the world from spinning
Your body takes a beating from chronic stress in the form of minor problems such as sweaty palms, headaches, backaches, fatigue, and memory loss—not to mention major problems such as heart disease, depression, and hypertension. The body produces too many steroids when it’s under stress, which can upset the acid balance of the stomach, causing pain and ulcers. Charles Wood, a professor of physiology at the University of Florida College of Medicine, says, “Steroids can also depress the immune system, which may be why chronically tense people are prone to colds and other illnesses.” In fact, the physical effects of stress are so wide-ranging and common that some experts estimate that almost half of all doctor visits are stress-related. If you experience the stress response often enough, your body has to store more fat for these occasions. Cortisol increases fat deposits most frequently in the belly—meaning stress can literally make you fat. People with high stress levels are more likely to have heart attacks and strokes, respond less well to flu vaccines, and catch colds more easily than those with low levels of work or interpersonal stress. I’ll show you how to shift your perception and the impact of those situations. You’ll stop trying to control the uncontrollable and instead focus on what you can control—yourself and your reactions.
ENERGY BANDIT #1 | High anxiety levels
According to a study reported in the May 2001 issue of the American Journal of Psychiatry, the monthly scientific journal of the American Psychiatric Association, absenteeism due to health problems was twice as high for employees with depressive symptoms as those without depressive symptoms. The study also revealed that the likelihood of decreased performance on the job is seven times higher for depressed employees.
ENERGY BOOSTER | Take psychological steps to reduce your anxiety level
To keep depression from making you sick and sapping your energy, stress management can be a key part of your treatment plan. Here are a few things you can try:
• Pray or meditate. Harold Koenig, a psychiatrist at Duke University Medical Center in Durham, North Carolina, says that twenty minutes of prayer or meditation might lower blood pressure, reduce anxiety, cut stress levels, and perhaps even help people live longer.1
• Use positive imagery to help elevate your mood and inspire you.
• See a psychologist or participate in a company-sponsored employee assistance program (EAP) if you find stress control hard to practice on your own. Licensed professionals can help you maintain good emotional health by treating depression, teaching you anger-management techniques, or finding ways to relax.
• Forgive someone. If you’re harboring a grudge against someone, you’ll want to clean your emotional slate. Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of strength. Reliving a bad experience in your mind or experiencing bitter feelings every day can really eat at you. Resolve to stop wasting energy on negative thoughts that diminish your ability to put energy into new and exciting endeavors. Visit www.forgiving.org for advice on how to let go of grudges.
ENERGY BANDIT #2 | Not practicing good stress-management techniques
You can’t just sit back and expect your high stress levels to subside. You have to do something about them. When something stressful happens to you, you’ve got two choices: you can let it get to you and drain your energy, or you can take steps to distract yourself. I’m not talking about denial, that handy psychological prop that lets you ignore bad things. Internalizing all the uncontrollable aspects of your life will just give you an ulcer.
ENERGY BOOSTER | Actively counter stress
In addition to working on the emotional component of stress, you can physically DO some things to alleviate it:
• Get a massage. An increasing number of research studies show that massage reduces heart rate, lowers blood pressure, increases blood circulation and lymph flow, relaxes muscles, improves range of motion, and increases endorphins (enhancing medical treatment). At the Touch Research Institute at the University of Miami School of Medicine, researchers have found that massage is helpful in decreasing blood pressure in people with hypertension, alleviating pain in migraine and fibromyalgia sufferers, enhancing immune function, and improving alertness and performance in office workers. Many of these effects appear to be mediated by decreased stress hormones after massage.2
• Listen to music. Carl Charnetski, Ph.D., a psychology professor at Wilkes University in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania, conducted several studies on how music raises IgA levels, your body’s natural defense in fighting germs, especially during times of stress. After listening to jazz music for half an hour, newspaper reporters who were on deadline had increased IgA levels, which continued to rise for at least thirty minutes after the music stopped playing.3 So break out your iPod, MP3 player, or CD player, and your body will thank you with improved immunity, fewer illnesses, and lower stress—a triple-whammy energy booster.
• Cry. Rather than being a sign of weakness, weeping can be an effective stress-reduction method. Remember all those times you were emotionally distraught, and people told you to “Let it all out,” or “You’ll feel better after a good cry”? Well, they were right. Crying is a visceral, sudden release of built-up tension that helps you get through an emotional reaction to some event or sequence of events. There’s even a complementary (i.e., alternative) therapeutic stress-reduction method called “bioenergetics” that encourages crying (along with shouting, biofeedback, and herbal treatments).4
ENERGY BANDIT #3 | Uncontrollable situations
You can decide what to eat, what to wear, and what kind of car to drive. But you can’t control a traffic jam, your company’s direction, or Mother Nature. How much energy do you devote to things you can’t control? We all face annoying situations like waiting in long lines and having to deal with irritating coworkers. No matter how competent you are, and no matter how long or how hard you work, you can’t control everything. The weather’s going to change against your will, and all those other people out there have their own agendas to follow.
ENERGY BOOSTER | Seize control in small ways
Identify the things you can and can’t control in your daily life. Once you’ve done this, you can work on the things you have some control over, and let the rest go. Remember the old Serenity Prayer, the staple of most 12-step programs? It goes something like this: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change those that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” While it sounds a bit trite to some of us, it’s that way because it’s so true.
If you’re feeling powerless, whatever you do, don’t just sit there and let it overwhelm you—or your energy and motivation will drain away, and you’ll just sit wringing your hands. You can’t eliminate the stress in your life, but you can learn to take control in small ways. What does this mean for you? That you should prove to yourself that you are in control, even if that proof comes only from small actions: finishing an item on your to-do list, practicing positive thinking, fixing the broken handle on the toilet, managing to lose a pound or two, or learning a new language. Although much of our stress comes from outside, some of it is self-inflicted. Other small ways to seize control may simply involve attitude adjustments:
• Don’t let others get your goat. If you’re doing the best you can but there’s absolutely nothing you can do to make a specific person happy, don’t let it get to you. This includes bosses, teachers, and significant others. While it’s true that these people may be able to punish you for not meeting their standards, you can’t let that stop you from being in control of your own fate. As the singer Ricky Nelson once pointed out, “You can’t please everyone, so you’ve got to please yourself.”
• Break loose from perfectionism. Instead of worrying about doing everything just right, just get things done as best as you can.
• Make decisions and let them go. Don’t agonize over a choice once it’s done. It’s a fact that you’re going to make mistakes now and then; it’s what separates humans from the divine. Unless you’re a doctor or a military officer, it’s doubtful that most of your decisions will be life-or-death ones.
ENERGY BANDIT #4 | Job stress
People in jobs with high work demands, low levels of job control, and little workplace social support are more likely to suffer poor health—and see their energy decline—than people in more flexible jobs with reasonable demands and social support. Stress on the job can not only eat up your energy and send you spiraling down into depression, but it can also make you become a not-so-nice person whom no one wants to be around. It all starts to emerge in your emotions and behavior—but it can then turn into the physical symptoms I’ve already mentioned. Following are typical enablers of job stress:
• Feelings of powerlessness or lack of control
• Having to work straight through lunch and breaks, either from personal choice or by direct order
• Uncertainty about job security
• Job dissatisfaction
• Work overload
• Work underload
• Poor scheduling
• Unclear demands
• Physical conditions
Whatever the causes of job-related stress, the results are many and obvious, and can all contribute to a loss of personal energy in the workplace, which can lead to other effects:
• Pessimism
• Dissatisfaction
• Lack of concentration
• Decreased motivation
• Accidents
• Absenteeism
• Poor health5
Clearly it’s in your company’s best interests to fix the problems that are causing your job stress to manifest in the above symptoms, but you can’t expect every company’s management team to be that enlightened—or even to notice that there’s something wrong. Therefore, you’ve got to take matters into your own hands and develop your own strategies to stay sane.
ENERGY BOOSTER | Turn off work when you’re on personal time
It can be hard for any of us, especially the self-employed, to follow this suggestion. The advent of efficient, easy-to-use mobile devices has caused the boundaries between work time and home time to shift and become extremely nebulous; it’s too easy to check your e-mail or call someone across the continent, even when you’re supposed to be at home enjoying your leisure time. This kind of “work-extending technology” is a dual-edged sword, in that it allows us to be productive outside normal working hours, but it cuts into the time we need for recharging our batteries, which ultimately cuts into our productivity.6 Your boss may not want to hear it, but it’s absolutely necessary to separate your personal and work time if you want to maintain any enthusiasm for the job you’re doing. The alternative is job burnout, and the loss of effective productivity that comes with it. If at all possible, let your workday end when you leave your office.
ENERGY BANDIT #5 | Not using all the benefits to which you’re entitled
We may not have it as good as our parents did when it comes to our employers taking care of us—and we certainly don’t have it as good as the Europeans—but most of us still have decent benefits, many of which we don’t use.
ENERGY BOOSTER | Take full advantage of company-sponsored benefit plans
Benefits vary, of course, but some of the more common are as follows:
• Regular breaks. By law, anyone who works more than six hours a day should get two fifteen-minute breaks and at least a half hour for lunch. These breaks don’t exist just so you can be lazy, although some managers certainly seem to think that’s the case. The whole point of breaks is to get you away from your task, if only for a few minutes, so you can stretch your mental and physical muscles and get a little rest. Focusing too tightly on something for too long can cause you to lose your mental edge, even if your focus remains sharp.
• Flex time. Some companies allow employees to work four ten-hour days and take a full Friday off, or work four nine-hour days and leave at noon on Friday. This is an excellent way to recharge your batteries or get some errands done.
• Flexible scheduling. Some companies may allow you to come in at a different hour than the traditional 8:00 or 9:00 AM, as long as you get in your full forty hours per week. This is another way to organize your work schedule so it’s more advantageous to you.
• Floating holidays. Some companies provide a day off on your birthday, or possibly any other day you choose. Take advantage of these, so you don’t get too overwhelmed.
• Job sharing. This is regular part-time work in which two people voluntarily share the responsibilities of one full-time, salaried position with benefits.
• Sabbatical. Some companies will allow you to take several months off after every five years of work or a year off after twenty. This can be paid or unpaid but guarantees your job when you return.
• Sick days. If you’re sick, be sick. Most companies prefer that you stay at home instead of potentially infecting the entire office with the cold or flu (a phenomenon called “presenteeism,” which most of us have experienced). It’s not unheard of to use a sick day as a “mental health” day, either, when the workaday world of the office just gets to be too much.
• Telecommuting. Modern technology makes it simple for those of us with jobs in the technology sector to telecommute, assuming we have an Internet connection and a phone. Ask for permission to telecommute, if it’s a benefit your company offers. On high-stress days, or when you just can’t handle the traffic without going nuts, stay at home and work.
• Take a vacation. Although Americans are woefully underprovided with vacations compared to most Europeans, most of us can count on two to three weeks of paid vacation a year. Try to take every minute you can, in order to help you revitalize yourself and stay fresh.
ENERGY BANDIT #6 | You create crisis on purpose
The adrenaline rush you experience when stressed can be quite addictive. Some people like it and cause it to happen so they can experience it—like a drug. Adrenaline junkies get “high” on the rush. They don’t feel they’re really living unless they’re stressed out—physically, mentally, emotionally, or all of the above. They find reasons to get worked up so that they can get a fix of adrenaline, which can be just as addictive as cocaine or any other narcotic. Basically, you’re getting high off naturally produced endorphins, adrenaline, cortisol, and corticosteroids.7 The ultimate result of an adrenaline rush is a subsequent energy crash, and the low is probably worse than any high you can experience.
ENERGY BOOSTER | Avoid crisis by working ahead of deadlines
Poor planning, like procrastination, can end up forcing you to do everything at the last minute, which just ratchets up the stress and adds to the difficulty of getting it done. To reduce time spent on crisis management, spend time doing long-term, proactive, important activities, rather than always responding to the urgent. Don’t facilitate crisis in your life by procrastinating on tasks until they become urgent. You could do the following in advance:
• Wrap the present days before the birthday party (not in the car on the way).
• Refill your prescription several pills before you take the last pill (not after you’ve run out of them, forcing you to wait at the pharmacy thirty minutes before work).
• Find your tax receipts a month before taxes are due (not when you’re forced to file an extension).
• Stock up on stamps before they’re gone (and you have to stand in a one-hour line during lunch to mail a single bill).
• Take your printer in for maintenance before it breaks down (and you’re forced to purchase another so you can get a mailing out while that one is in the shop).
You will be amazed at the level of calm you experience when you do things before they are due or before you need them. Over a period of weeks and months, if you spend ten minutes more a day (building to thirty and sixty minutes more every day) doing activities before they’re required, soon you’ll have shifted your time wisely. Yes, you’re still doing the same activities, but you’re no longer doing them under deadlines. The biggest bonus, however, will be the amazing sense of tranquillity you feel by dealing only with life’s true emergencies. Ask yourself: what ideas, projects, and programs—if implemented now or in the near future—would significantly impact the profitability or productivity of your staff or your organization?
ENERGY BANDIT #7 | A type A personality
Let’s face it: some people are just more laid back than others. They can handle everyday stresses better than most, without the hormonal and psychological changes that cause the less sanguine among us to lose or misdirect our personal energy. If you’re that way yourself, congratulations—you’re less likely to get an ulcer than the rest of us. If you’re not, you may be a type A personality, which can have effects on your body far beyond energy drain.
Type A personalities tend to be competitive, aggressive, dominant, ambitious, acquisitive, self-driven, hardworking—does this all sound familiar? Some of these traits may have helped you succeed in the business world. In type A personalities, however, these traits are coupled with less-positive traits like impatience, chronic self-criticism, hostility, and a deep-seated insecurity (no matter how much self-assurance the person may exude). There’s a sense of urgency in everything they do, something that physicians Meyer Friedman and Ray Rosenman call “hurry sickness.”
ENERGY BOOSTER | Don’t accept a type A personality as “just the way I am”
Where does a type A personality come from? Though some type A personalities are born, most seem to be made. Even if you were a lovable, laid-back person before your latest promotion, you might find yourself changing after having had enormous amounts of new responsibility dumped upon you. The following traits are common to type A personalities:8
• Finishing sentences quickly
• Heavily accenting key words in your speech
• Moving, walking, and eating rapidly
• Open irritation at the rate at which events normally occur
• A tendency to want to hurry the speech of others
• Extreme irritation at everyday delays
• Constant multitasking
• Feelings of guilt when relaxing more than a few hours
• Being bothered watching someone do something when you know you can do it faster
• Pride in numbers: how much you make, how much you spend, how much you can get done in a set amount of time
Just because you display a few of these symptoms doesn’t mean you’re a type A personality. However, if many or all of them do apply, then sit down: I’ve got some bad news for you. Type A personalities experience not just energy drain but significant stress- and circulatory-related illnesses much more often than other people. These include heart attacks, strokes, high blood pressure, aneurysms—you name it.
You can take steps to change. There are plenty of ways to help yourself, primarily by relaxing on a regular basis, and taking away some of the stressors that can cause an everyday Joe to transform into a type A ogre.
ENERGY BANDIT #8 | Feeling stuck
Things seem to go wrong when you’re in a hurry: you get caught in traffic, you have to wait for someone to get off a conference call, you have to stand in a line, you have to wait for service in a store or a restaurant, and so forth.
ENERGY BOOSTER | Find something to do that will occupy your mind
It’s better to be creative and productive than to stew because you can’t get anything done. Distract yourself in some way:
• I like to pull out my Treo and catch up on my e-mail. Or I check voice mail and return calls. You could have a report with you to edit, thank-you notes to write, or planning for the rest of the month. You may be able to do this only in fits and starts, but it’s amazing how much faster it makes the time go—and it can make you feel a lot better to get something done during what would otherwise be wasted downtime.
• Walk away from the problem. This works best with people situations; you certainly don’t want to walk away from a traffic jam. Michael Douglas tried that in the movie Falling Down, and ended up coming unglued emotionally and psychologically. It’s not necessary to be rude; just extricate yourself as soon as possible, before all your personal energy is used up or soured by stress and worry. Say something like, “Let’s take a break now and revisit this topic when we can take a more productive approach.”
• Endure it. If it’s a people situation you can’t easily walk away from (such as a problem with your boss), endure it as best as you can and get away as soon as possible.
• Distract yourself. If you’re stuck in traffic, don’t stew in your own juice. Make sure your air conditioner is working, crank up the radio to your favorite music, and sing as loudly as you must to keep from exploding. So what if people see you singing? They’ll probably think you’re using Bluetooth to talk on your cell phone.
• Focus your mind. If you’re stuck in a line at the post office, DMV, bank, or wherever, make sure you have something to read. It can be a trashy romance novel, a college text, a corporate report, a magazine, or anything else, as long as it’s there. Once again, the idea is to keep from going crazy while you wait.