Too angry to drive and too upset to let Ivan see her in this state, Rachel couldn’t go back into the house, so she marched across the lawn toward the edge of the property. She and her brothers had blazed a trail through the woods leading from their house up a rocky incline to the southern end of the ridge that inspired Serenity Ridge’s name. The path wasn’t as well-worn as when Rachel left, so she found a large stick and hacked away at the spring underbrush, her vision blurred with tears.
How could I have ever imagined I was falling for Arden—or wanted to kiss him! He’s even more critical than Toby, Rachel thought as she progressed deeper into the forest. Even if she’d made a mistake with the bookkeeping, she’d covered the deficit with her own money, so she would have thought he’d be grateful for her help, not pious about her error. She yelped as a black fly bit her upper shoulder; she’d forgotten how much pain those little critters could inflict. That’s one more thing I won’t miss when I go back to Boston.
Recalling Arden saying she didn’t fit in and suggesting she leave now, Rachel shoved a thick tree limb off the path with her heel. Nothing is going to get in the way of where I want to go or what I want to do, she thought. But where and what was that? Just last night she’d imagined not only staying in Serenity Ridge indefinitely but rejoining the Amish and being baptized into the church. She’d even hinted at her plans to Toby over the phone.
He’d begun their conversation apologizing for dating Brianna behind Rachel’s back and then asked if she’d consider seeing him again. Rachel said she’d already forgiven him, but that she wasn’t interested in a relationship; that’s when she let it slip she was contemplating staying in Maine among the Amish permanently.
He’d argued, “You can’t live up to your potential there, Rachel.”
“Neh, I can’t live up to your expectations of me here,” she countered. “But I can try to follow Gott’s plan for my life. And that’s what I want more than anything.”
“But you love being a nurse. You’ve said it hundreds of times.”
“I think... I think I love being Amish more. Besides, I can still take care of people in my family and community in an unofficial capacity.”
“You mean without getting paid for it?”
“There are more important things in life than money and prestige, Toby,” Rachel scolded, only half-seriously. She knew Toby had deep faith in God, even if his recent behavior had been less than honest.
“Like what, sticky buns and yumsetta casserole?” he grumbled.
“Exactly!” Rachel laughed, glad they were ending things on a better note the second time around, and saying her intention aloud made her gain confidence she was on the right track—returning to her Amish roots seemed to be what the Lord was leading her to do.
Her own words came back to her now: “I think I love being Amish more.” The problem was, as Arden so cruelly pointed out, the Amish apparently didn’t love her. Or at least, several of the Amish people she cared most about—which until today had included Arden—didn’t want her around.
She slapped her neck, and a fly fell to the ground. A few feet ahead, a tree had fallen across her path, and she didn’t know whether to climb over it or turn around and go back. Where am I anyway? She thought she knew, but now she wasn’t so certain. Once, after she’d gotten lost in the woods as a girl, Colin had told her if it ever happened again, she should sit down and wait to be rescued. Too hot, itchy and tired to continue, Rachel leaned against the fallen tree. Lord, she prayed, please guide my next steps—all of them.
After a couple of hours, Arden’s temper had cooled enough that he was able to devise a plan so he wouldn’t have to work with Rachel any longer. First chance he got to speak to Ivan alone, he was going to tell him what Rachel had done. Her mistake could have cost their business and their reputation—with the hospital, as well as the bank—too much to allow her to continue managing the paperwork and bookkeeping. As an equal partner, Arden had decided it was time they either hired a temporary Englisch administrative assistant or recruited someone from the Amish community. Who knows, Rachel’s so arrogant this change might offend her so much she’ll decide she’s leaving Serenity Ridge before Ivan recovers. If so, Grace will be able to take care of him now that Mamm is well again...
The more he thought about his plan, the more anxious he became to implement it. He would’ve gone to the house and told Ivan right then if it weren’t that he couldn’t stand the sight of Rachel. As it turned out, Ivan rambled into the workshop right before he left for the day at one o’clock. Arden figured Rachel had already given her brother her skewed version of what occurred.
“Feels gut to be in here again,” Ivan said, inhaling. “Rachel’s concerned about the sawdust irritating my lungs, but I’ve missed the smell. Where is she, anyway?”
Arden scrunched his forehead. “She left here a couple hours ago. I thought she went to the haus.”
“Neh, and her car’s still in the driveway.”
“She must have gone for a walk. She, uh, was kind of upset. She made a pretty big error,” Arden began. He delved into an account of what had transpired with the check for the hospital bill as impartially as he could, sticking to the details and refraining from suggesting they replace Rachel until Ivan had a chance to absorb the gravity of her mistake.
“You think my schweschder was upset she had to use her money to cover our deficit?”
Arden was surprised it didn’t seem to be sinking in. “Neh, she said she had that money available because she decided not to enroll at the university. Besides, we’ll pay her back. I think she was embarrassed she made such a potentially destructive mistake. And I have to confess, I expressed my displeasure she didn’t tell me about it sooner.”
“Jah, that was a big burden for her to bear on her own. I wish she would have told me, too. I suppose since we put her in charge of bookkeeping, she must have felt responsible for straightening it out with the bank manager.”
Arden was dumbfounded; couldn’t Ivan understand how careless Rachel had been? “I think it might be time to find someone else to manage our accounting.”
“I agree. Someone who doesn’t care about me—about us—so much wouldn’t have given up their savings like Rachel did. I’d rather we hire an Englisch stranger than put her in that position. The only thing that puzzles me is how we got so far behind in the first place. You’ve been filling orders day and night, according to Rachel. Have customers been remiss in paying us?”
Arden felt as if he’d been whacked upside his head with a two-by-four. No—a two-by-six. And well he should have, for tearing into Rachel when the very reason she’d had to cover the debt was because of the mistake he’d made first. “I, uh, I’m afraid I, uh, ordered too much cedar. It set us back and I—I—I—I didn’t want to have to pay the return fee, so I accepted the delivery.”
Ivan nodded slowly. “Ah, I see. Well, we all make mistakes, and I’m sure we’ll use the wood and profit from it soon. We’ll work with Rachel to figure out a suitable repayment plan meanwhile.”
“Jah,” Arden said, but in light of Ivan’s grace, he felt so ashamed the word was barely audible.
“Anyway, I came to tell you your schweschder called Rachel’s cell phone from the phone shanty. She tried to call here but kept getting voice mail.”
“I didn’t hear it ring. Is my mamm okay?”
“Jah, but the two of them are making supp to take to Aquilla tomorrow, and they want you to pick up a set of freezable containers.”
“Okay,” Arden agreed. But his feet were leaden as he put away his tools and swept up the sawdust. His heart was heavy, too, with the awareness that every single insult he’d cast at Rachel—that she was condescending, self-satisfied and disparaging—was doubly true about him.
He dropped to his knees on the hard concrete floor. Lord, I’ve been so proud and self-righteous. Please forgive me. Please help me to make amends with Rachel, and for her to forgive me, too. Wherever she is right now, please protect her heart from the rancor of my words.
By the time Rachel returned home, she had a dozen fly bites on her neck and face, her dress was damp with sweat, and she was parched. She assumed Ivan would be taking his afternoon nap, but instead he threw open the screen door the moment her foot touched the first step.
“Rachel, I’ve been worried sick about you!” His sentiment caused her to break down in tears—at least one person in Serenity Ridge loved her. He insisted she sit on the porch swing while he brought her a glass of water and a cold compress. Sitting beside her, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.
“I’m smelly,” she apologized, but he drew her closer.
“Arden told me what you did for us. I’m grateful, Rachel—but also sorry you felt so responsible as to take on our debt. I promise we’ll pay you back as quickly as we can.”
While it didn’t surprise her that Ivan had a different response to her actions than Arden did, she wondered what Arden had told him about their heated exchange. “I know you will, but as I said to Arden, I couldn’t think of a better use of my savings than putting the money toward your hospital costs. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”
“But are you absolutely certain you don’t want to become a nurse practitioner?”
“I’ve never been more certain about a decision in my life—except when Toby asked me to get back together last night and I said neh,” she replied. It’s the decision about whether or not I should stay here I’m confused about.
“He did?”
“Jah, but can we talk more about this later? I need to take a shower.”
“You do that, and I’ll warm some supp. We’ll have an early supper.”
Rachel groaned. “I don’t know if I can swallow another spoonful of supp. Do you suppose you’d go with me to get pizza tonight?”
“In your car?”
“Jah. I’m too tired to hitch the horse and buggy.”
“In that case, can we go to a fast food drive-through? I’m craving a burger and fries.”
“Oh, and a nice, cold extra-large strawberry shake!”
Later, as they ate their takeout meals in the park, they didn’t talk about anything more serious than old memories—bowling at the Englisch bowling alley, playing volleyball in the backyard, their father’s rich singing voice and their mother’s contagious laugh. Yet these lighthearted remembrances stirred a deep longing within Rachel’s heart, and by the time they got home, she felt so emotionally and physically depleted she actually went to bed before Ivan did.
Long after he should have been asleep, Arden was mulling over how angry he’d gotten at Rachel. He’d suffered more than his fair share of derision before, but it had never provoked him the way it did when he thought Rachel was scorning him. To think, he’d gone so far as to devise a plan to force her out of her voluntary role in her brother’s business! What if Ivan does propose she relinquish her work in the business? That might be just the impetus she needed to leave early. To go back to Toby. The thought made him shudder.
Whether she gets back together with him or not is beside the point. All I care about is reconciling with her. For as long or short of a time as Rachel had left in Serenity Ridge, Arden wanted their friendship to be like it was before... No, that wasn’t the full truth. He wanted their relationship to be better than it was before: he wanted to admit to Rachel how he felt about her—which was unlike how he’d ever felt about any woman. But he could scarcely admit those feelings to himself, knowing he couldn’t act on them. Not just because Rachel was Englisch, but because he could never get married, never have children. And since that was an impossibility, the best he could hope for was that the rest of his time with Rachel would be as good as their time together up until he’d acted like a genuine dummkopf.
Despite having a sleepless night, Arden woke early, milked the cow, ate and quickly got ready for church. He hoped to speak to Rachel before he and Ivan left, but her car wasn’t in the driveway, and Ivan came out of the house alone.
“My schweschder made me wear it,” he explained, sheepishly pointing to the blue paper mask covering his face. “She’s concerned people might get too close.”
She was right. During the after-church lunch, so many people gathered around Ivan that he and Arden were among the last to leave. By the time they got to Ivan’s house, Colin and Hadassah’s buggy was in the driveway, but Rachel’s car was not. “Ah, there’s Hadassah and the kinner. She said they’d visit. She felt bad about forgetting my birthday,” Ivan explained.
Hadassah had brought all four children, and the two eldest were pushing the younger two across the lawn in a wheelbarrow. Hadassah was sitting on the bench beneath the peach tree. How in the world had she managed to get down from the buggy? She appeared to have gained an inordinate amount of weight—even her hands were swollen.
“Kumme out of the sun, Hadassah. I’ll bring you lemonade,” Ivan said, and Arden helped her up the porch stairs.
Arden knew he should allow Ivan and Hadassah to visit in private, but he wanted to stay until Rachel returned. Fortunately, she pulled into the driveway a few minutes later. She slowly strolled across the lawn, stopping to talk to the children at length, and Arden couldn’t guess whether she was dawdling in order to avoid him or Hadassah.
“Hi, Rachel,” he said at the same time Ivan greeted her.
“Hello,” she replied to neither of them in particular. “Hello, Hadassah.”
“Hello,” Hadassah said with a sniff, angling her face away from the sun.
“How are you feeling?” Rachel scrutinized her sister-in-law.
“We don’t have allergies anymore, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“Neh, I can see that.” She paused. “That dress is a fetching color on you, but—and this is a concern, not a criticism—your...your face looks very swollen.”
Hadassah turned and looked Rachel up and down. “Jah, and yours is covered in fly bites.”
To Arden’s surprise, Rachel laughed. “Isn’t it awful? I feel like a pincushion, but I haven’t got any witch hazel. I remember when you told me how soothing that is.”
Hadassah’s expression softened noticeably. “Especially if it’s kept in the fridge.” She squeezed her eyes shut.
“Do you have a koppweh?” Rachel was concerned; Arden could tell.
“Jah. It’s been raining so much that my eyes aren’t used to the sun anymore. I keep seeing flashing lights.”
Ivan stopped rocking the porch swing, as if he was picking up on Rachel’s uneasiness, too.
“I don’t want to alarm you, but I think you ought to see a dok—a midwife.”
“I am seeing my midwife on Tuesday.”
“I mean now. I think we should call an ambulance—”
“Don’t be lecherich.” Hadassah shifted to her side and pushed off the chair, panting. It took her three tries to get into a standing position, and when she was upright, she wobbled forward. Arden reflexively jumped up and steadied her by her elbow. “I came here to wish my brother-in-law a hallich birthday, not to be lectured about my health.”
Before Hadassah could take another step, Rachel grabbed each side of the railing, barring her from leaving. Her voice was low but firm as she said, “Hadassah, you’re a wunderbaar mamm, and I know how much you love all of your kinner as well as the two bobblin you’re carrying. For their sakes, you must go to the hospital now. You have all the signs of a life-threatening condition. Please, I am begging you, please don’t reject this advice just because it’s coming from me. I know what it’s like to lose my mamm—please don’t allow that to happen to your kinner. Please don’t leave my bruder a widower.”
Hadassah grimaced. “Okay,” she agreed, causing Arden to marvel at Rachel’s gift of persuasion once again.
Rachel began issuing orders. “Ivan, get my phone from my purse and call nine-one-one. Tell them Hadassah has signs of preeclampsia, and it’s a multiple pregnancy—how far along are you, Hadassah?” Rachel questioned before instructing Ivan what else to say. “Arden and I will help you inside, Hadassah. You need to lie on your left side.”
“Can’t you take her in your car?” Arden asked. “I think I can carry her if I need to. It will be faster.”
“Neh. The paramedic will start an IV if necessary, and they’ll be able to administer medication quicker than I’d be able to drive to the hospital.”
They couldn’t all get through the door at the same time, so Arden entered sideways, supporting Hadassah by himself. Before they were across the threshold, the children had assembled on the porch, apparently sensing the crisis.
“Is Mamm okay?” the oldest asked.
“She has a bad koppweh,” Rachel calmly explained over her shoulder. “An ambulance is coming to take her to the hospital, where they’re going to help her feel better. I’ll get your daed and bring him to the hospital, too. I’d like you to stay here with your onkel Ivan and make sure he takes it easy. If you play a quiet board game with him, you may all have a glass of lemonade and a piece of cake.”
The children expressed their agreement as Ivan provided an address to the dispatcher. As soon as Hadassah was situated on the bed, Rachel directed Arden to bring her the first aid kit from her car so she could take her sister-in-law’s blood pressure. Silently praying as she worked, she’d just begun to inflate the cuff when the ambulance siren blared outside. Rachel stayed with Hadassah until the paramedic and EMT rolled her on a stretcher into the ambulance. “I’m going to go get Colin now, Hadassah. We’ll see you very soon.”
When she arrived at Colin’s home, she immediately spotted him on the front porch with Eva and Ike Renno. Wasting no time with pleasantries, Rachel beckoned to him, urging, “Colin, you must kumme with me. Hadassah’s been taken to the hospital by ambulance.”
“We’ll go get the kinner,” Eva volunteered. “I’ll stay with them here at the haus as long as needed.”
As they drove, Rachel explained she suspected Hadassah had moderate to severe preeclampsia. “It’s a very serious condition. They may induce labor, but most likely she’ll need an emergency C-section.” Rachel stole a sideways glance at Colin. A single tear ran down his cheek, like a crack in a stone wall. She reached over and squeezed his fist.
“Please, Gott, watch over my wife and our bobblin,” he began praying. “Please, Gott, please.”
He continued to pray, and Rachel silently echoed his prayers all the way to the hospital, where she dropped him off at the entrance and then went to park. By the time she got inside, Colin had already been taken to be with Hadassah, who was, indeed, undergoing an emergency C-section. It seemed like forever before Colin came to find Rachel in the waiting room. The blue scrubs were a stark contrast with his traditional Amish clothing, and his skin was sallow and his eyes were bloodshot. Rachel’s heart pummeled her ribs.
“They made it. All three of them,” he said. “My wife and two seh.”
Rachel gasped, erupting into tears of joy. “Denki, Lord!” she uttered as Colin enveloped her.
“I’m sorry, Rachel,” he said when he let her go, and at first she thought he meant for squeezing her so tightly. “Mamm and Daed put me in charge of watching over our familye. When you left, I...”
He couldn’t finish his sentence, nor did he need to. Rachel understood; his anger about her leaving had been masking his disappointment in himself and concern for her. Similarly, his criticism of Ivan’s business wasn’t because he wanted to be in control; it was because he wanted to protect Ivan from failure. Until now, Rachel had only seen the austerity of Colin’s actions, not the sense of fraternal responsibility behind his intentions, just as he’d only seen pride, not her desire to help others, when she left to become a nurse. “I understand, Colin. I’m sorry, too.”
After Eva and Ike came for the children and buggy, Arden arranged for a taxi to take him and Ivan to the hospital. They were deeply grateful to learn Hadassah and the babies were all right. Since there was a limit on the number of visitors who could enter the NICU room, Rachel came out so Ivan and Arden could see the babies once they’d washed their hands and put on sterile gowns and gloves. Although Colin’s mouth was obscured by a paper mask, Arden could tell by the way his eyes twinkled he was grinning.
“There’s Jacob, and this is Daniel,” he said, pointing to where the babies slept in separate incubators.
“I know how that feels, buwe,” Ivan joked about the skinny oxygen tubes strapped to their noses.
“They’re so tiny,” Arden said. “But praise the Lord they’re okay.”
“Jah. The dokder warned us about a host of conditions they might face in the coming years because of being born so early, but that’s in the future. Just look at them. They are alive. They are Gott’s gift to us.”
As he listened to Colin’s expression of fatherly love, it occurred to Arden his own father must have felt the same way when he was born. Arden hadn’t ever really thought about it before, but surely his dad knew his son and daughter might suffer the same difficulties he himself had suffered. Yet that foreknowledge hadn’t prevented him from getting married, having children and cherishing them as gifts from the Lord. Why should I let it stop me? As Daniel waved his fist and began to cry, Arden wiped his own eyes, overcome by a rush of emotion.
A nurse entered the room and chased Ivan and Arden out to the hall, where Rachel was conferring with a midwife. Arden overheard her giving the woman her cell phone number, and then she drove Ivan and Arden back to Ivan’s home. She was so eager to go tell her nieces and nephews about their new baby brothers she didn’t even turn off the car when she dropped the men off, so Arden didn’t get a chance to apologize to her in private.
“Uh, Grace can kumme early in the morning to stay with Ivan if you want to go to the hospital,” he said before shutting the door.
“Denki, I’d appreciate that,” she replied in a tone that was neither unfriendly nor warm.
Grace seemed pleased for an excuse to visit with Ivan again, and the next morning she collected the eggs and milked the cow before Arden awoke. “I’ll make breakfast at Ivan’s haus, so Rachel gets sustenance since she probably didn’t eat much yesterday.”
Within an hour the four of them sat down to a hearty breakfast casserole, toast and coffee. “What happened to your face?” Grace asked Rachel. The small red spots Hadassah had pointed out the previous afternoon had grown into welts overnight.
“I took a walk in the woods Saturday. I was swarmed by black flies.”
So that’s where she was. Arden cringed, knowing he was the cause of both her emotional and physical irritation.
“We never got to hear your news the other night after Toby called. Was he part of what you were going to tell us?” Grace questioned.
“Toby? Neh. He was calling to...to reconcile.” Rachel dabbed her mouth with a napkin.
“He’s going to be your suitor again? I mean, to date you?” Grace pushed. “Was that your news?”
“Neh, he’s not. My news was that I got accepted into the MSN program.”
“That’s wunderbaar!” Grace exclaimed. “Isn’t that wunderbaar, Ivan and Arden?”
“Jah,” they agreed, even though they both already knew. But what’s more wunderbaar is that Rachel’s not getting back together with Toby, Arden thought.
“Denki, but I’ve decided not to go,” Rachel said.
“You’re not going?” Grace sounded perplexed.
“Neh. I decided becoming a nurse practitioner wasn’t...it wasn’t really how the Lord was directing my steps. Anyway, I’d better get going. I’m sure Colin is itching to have me bring him a fresh change of clothing,” Rachel said, pushing her chair away from the table. She hadn’t taken more than three bites of her meal, but she felt too self-conscious in Arden’s presence to eat. After experiencing an emergency like yesterday’s, she was keenly aware of how petty it was to continue harboring ill will toward him.
The night before as she was reflecting on her conversation with Colin, it had occurred to Rachel that her brother might have meant to be helpful the day he suggested Rachel should go back to Boston and he could help Arden with the accounting. I accused Colin of trying to take over Ivan’s business, yet that’s exactly what I did by covering the deficit. Even if my intentions were gut or I was pressed for time, I should have discussed it with Arden first. She wanted to apologize, but she’d need privacy for that. Until then, she had a busy morning in front of her.
When she arrived at the hospital, Daniel and Jacob were asleep and Hadassah looked exhausted, too, so Rachel kept her visit short. Right before she left, Hadassah suggested Colin go change into the clean clothing Rachel had brought, so they could have a moment alone to chat.
No sooner did the door close behind him than Hadassah apologized. “I’ve been baremlich to you, Rachel, and I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. Some of that might have been from feeling ill or from hormones. During pregnancy, your estrogen and progesterone levels—” Rachel stopped. “Oops, sometimes I can’t help myself.”
“It’s gut to share what you’ve learned. If you hadn’t, I might not be alive now and neither would the bobblin,” Hadassah said. “But it wasn’t illness or hormones—I’ve acted this way toward you for over ten years. I was so...so hurt when you left. I know how demanding I can be, but instead of blaming myself for your leaving, I blamed you. I said it was hochmut.”
Until now, it never dawned on Rachel that Hadassah thought she’d left because of her. “Hadassah, I didn’t leave to get away from anything or anyone—I was going toward what I believed was Gott’s will for me at that time. If anything, you were one of the very people who made me so reluctant to go—I consider you to be my older sister. And older sisters are supposed to be bossy.”
“Well, younger sisters are supposed to be spoiled.” They were both laughing when Colin reentered the room.
“Did you ask her yet?” he questioned Hadassah. When she shook her head, Colin said, “We, uh, we were wondering if you might be able to stay in Serenity Ridge a little longer than you planned? The staff here has suggested we line up a visiting nurse for the next couple of months to give us a hand...”
Rachel was stunned silent, so Hadassah interjected, “We promise not to pressure you to leave the Englisch.”
Because she’d spoken about leaving the Amish so often, the notion of leaving the Englisch struck Rachel as funny, and she smiled. “I appreciate that, but I’d like a little time to think it over.”
She didn’t get any farther than the parking lot before she unequivocally knew what her decision would be. Leaning against her car, she dialed Meg’s number to break the news to her. “You were right, Meg. I’m staying here,” she blurted out without even saying hello first. “I’m returning to my Amish faith and lifestyle for gut.”
“Oh, Rachel,” her dear friend said with a sigh. “In your heart, you never really left the Amish for gut.”
Although it was raining, as his sister prepared lunch, Arden waited outside on the porch in case a customer or delivery truck came by. Instead, it was Rachel’s car that turned into the driveway. Arden shot across the lawn quicker than she could get out and close the door.
“Rachel, I owe you an apology,” he began. As she looked up at him, wide-eyed, raindrops ran in tiny rivulets over the bright wheals on her face. “I—I—I am so ashamed of h-how I spoke to you yesterday. Everything I said was—was truer of me than of you. I was the one who m-made the m-mistake in the first place, but instead of being grateful for your help, I was rude and unkind. Neh—I was vicious.”
She shook her head, and his hope for reconciliation crumbled until she said, “I forgive you, Arden, but I shouldn’t have made that kind of decision without consulting you and Ivan. I can see now how patronizing my actions were. I’m very sorry.”
“At least you were trying to be helpful. I was trying to be hurtful, because...well, because I felt hurt.” Although the rain was warm on his scalp and back, Arden shivered as he confessed, “I was also envious.”
“Of what?”
“Of Toby.”
“Why would you be envious of someone like him?”
Arden coughed, stalling. “He’s so schmaert and—”
“And so are you! I meant it when I told you you’re one of the smartest people I know.”
“It isn’t just that Toby’s schmaert.” A wet curl stuck to Arden’s forehead, and he pushed it aside. “It’s also th-that he symbolized something I thought I could never have.”
“Such as?”
Arden couldn’t face her. He looked over her shoulder, focusing on the trees in the distance. “M-marriage.”
To whom? Rachel felt her insides melting like wax. Arden couldn’t possibly mean her? “What’s stopping you from getting married?”
“Nothing is now. But I w-was stopping myself before,” Arden said. “I thought I should-shouldn’t get married be-because my kinner w-would have the same problems I have.”
“That’s a possibility, but it’s not an absolute. As you once said to me about my caring for Ivan, who would be better equipped to help that child than you?”
“I—I know that now. I figured it out when I saw how thrilled Colin was about his bobblin...”
Rachel giggled. “Jah, I didn’t know he could still smile like that.”
“Arden! Rachel! What are you doing out in the rain? Lunch is ready,” Grace summoned them from the porch.
“We’re coming.” Rachel was disappointed their conversation had been interrupted, but she hoped they’d pick up where they left off once they had privacy again. When they got inside, they dried off and seated themselves at the table.
“I hope rivel supp is okay. Mamm and I were making it for Aquilla, so we figured we might as well make some for you, too,” Grace said, and Ivan smiled politely.
After they’d thanked God for the meal, Rachel announced she had something for the other three to consider. “Grace, if your mamm’s health is stable and if Ivan and Arden agree to it, in a few days would you be willing to take over for me at the workshop on an ongoing basis—and check in on Ivan occasionally, too?”
Arden dropped the saltshaker right into his soup, spraying chowder everywhere. “You w-w-won’t be wo-working at the shop anymore?”
“I don’t know.” Rachel handed him a spare napkin, but he made no attempt to mop up the spill. “Hadassah and Colin have asked me to help them for a couple of months once she and the bobblin are discharged. I’d like to do it, but Ivan won’t be able to return to work for a while, and I don’t want to leave the two of you in the lurch, which is why I thought Grace might be—”
“I’d be hallich to step in,” Grace said.
Ivan simultaneously remarked, “Hadassah needs you more than we do.”
“Jah,” Arden agreed as he fished the saltshaker from his chowder. “You definitely should help Hadassah and the bobblin. It’s a better use of your skills.”
Rachel wasn’t expecting everyone to be quite so enthusiastic about her relinquishing her position at the workshop. She had intended to tell them about her decision to be baptized into the Amish church, too, but what if they weren’t receptive to the idea? Suddenly she could hardly fight back the tears. “Gut, it’s settled then. If you’ll excuse me, these clothes are wetter than I thought and I’m uncomfortable in them. I’ll go change.”
Upstairs she kicked off her shoes and curled into a ball, quietly weeping into a pillow. She understood that even if Arden had the smallest romantic inclination toward her, he wouldn’t have been likely to express it. Not while she was still Englisch. But did he have to seem so happy she wouldn’t be working with him any longer? And to think, I dared hope when he was talking about wanting to get married, he might have had me in mind—which just goes to show how much hochmut I really do have!
She didn’t remember falling asleep, but when she awoke, she changed into her lavender dress, went into the bathroom and splashed cold water over her face in an attempt to soothe her swollen eyelids and ease the sting of her bug bites. Downstairs she found the table had been cleared, Grace was gone and Ivan was taking a nap. Instead of soup, she opted to have a glass of lemonade. As she was putting the pitcher back in the fridge, she noticed a brown paper bag with her name on it. Inside was a bottle of witch hazel and a note.
Rachel,
Hadassah needs you so I can’t be selfish, but I will miss you in the workshop. I wish you could stay in Serenity Ridge forever.
Arden
Rachel hugged the bottle to her chest as she reread the note three times. Then she put the witch hazel back in the fridge and, with every ounce of restraint she could muster, slowly picked her way around the puddles as she walked toward the workshop. The sun was breaking through the clouds, and once again, Arden’s eyes mirrored the blue of the sky as he stepped outside. It was as if he’d been waiting for her.
Glancing at the note in her hand, he said, “As you know, I’m not very gut with words.”
“This is the best liebesbrief I’ve ever received,” Rachel gushed, and then she was immediately embarrassed she’d referred to it as a love letter. Was that how Arden had intended it?
“Gut, because it’s the best—and the only—liebesbrief I’ve ever written,” he replied, and for now, that was all he needed to say.