Foreplay is where you put the “play” back in sex. This chapter gives you some suggestions for doing that in a fun way through seduction games. Think how many ways you knew how to play when you were a kid. Games came naturally to you then—before you were serious about bills, chores, and relationships. Now you can learn how to play again.
You’ve seen that couple who can’t keep their hands off each other in a restaurant, at a party, anywhere in public. Maybe you’ve been that couple. Pick a dark booth in your neighborhood bar. Kick off your shoe and play with his leg—all the way up his leg. Sit on his lap on a park bench and make out. Kiss and fondle one another on the beach at night.
A little public exposure will boost your libido.
TIP
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Do what you did before sex became routine. Hold your hand on the small of her back and lightly press your finger pads against her. Rest your hand on his thigh with your thumb inside his leg and pointing toward his genitals. Nuzzle her neck. Put your hand flat on his chest as you’re talking to him. Re-capture the feeling.
Now what is more redolent of American youth than sex in a car?
You don’t have to park on a lover’s lane. The driveway or garage will do. There’s nothing like the feel of a gearshift in your back—or the sight of her bare feet against the window.
Part of the thrill is in the limited range of motion. The car is a great place to give head, have sex in the sitting position, or wrap her legs around his neck. The space is tight—and that feels illicit.
Standing fully dressed, kiss and caress each other with your pelvises pressed together. When you feel the steam rising between the two of you, she bumps into him on the upstroke and grinds into him on the down-stroke. Wrap one leg around his waist or use a door or wall for balance—but don’t lie down.
Remember when you were a teenager and you made out on the family room floor while your parents were sleeping upstairs? You kept your clothes on—the better for a quick recovery if your parents came in. And it was really hot. Take it all the way to dry humping. It’s thrilling to have an orgasm with your clothes on.
Do you undress in the bathroom? Or with the lights off? Or just hurriedly get out of your clothes, barely looking at one another as you strip for sleep?
Put the drama back into undressing, especially if you’re dressed up. Take off your skirt first and walk around in heels and stockings before taking off your blouse.
And remember tripping works both ways. Let her take in your bare chest and broad shoulders. When you step out of your pants, look her straight in the eye.
“Sex should be fun. It should be play. What it should not be is ‘work.’ The concept of working on the sex is very Puritan.”
—Trina Morgan, Ph.D., sex therapist and psychologist
If either of you has a private office—the sort where the door actually closes—or sometimes works late at night alone in the office, you have a perfect opportunity to play Office Call. The partner paying the call is responsible for the party. Maybe that includes refreshments, maybe not. But your picnic basket should contain treats like Honey Dust, a vibrating cock ring, a finger vibe, or whatever toys work quickly for you.
Clear off the desk, take off your coat, and enjoy.
TIP
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Use the Master/Mistress and Slave game to explore hidden facets of your sexual personality. Role-playing allows you to play submissive or dominant in a relationship that is most likely based on erotic egalitarianism. But you must take turns being the dom and the sub. Keep it light. For example, tell your slave that she must submit to an erotic spanking or that he must kneel before you and give you oral pleasure until you orgasm. Script your roles. He can be the pirate ravishing the captured beauty. Or she can be the secret agent using her wiles to get an informant to talk.
