“Maybe ‘letting go with love’ means letting go of the silence.”
Even though addiction is a disease that can affect anyone, unfortunately there is still a social stigma associated with drug-overdose deaths. For you, a person who has lost someone special, this can seem doubly unfair. Not only has someone you cared about died, but others may avoid you or make you feel ashamed about the death.
Because of this stigma, you are at risk for becoming what I call a “forgotten mourner.” You may have friends or family members who feel uncomfortable about the cause of death, so, because they don’t know how to respond, fall out of touch with you. Others might assume you don’t want to talk about or be reminded of the death, so they act as if it never happened. Still others harbor the irrational but still very real fear that if they talk about drug use and overdose, it could happen to their family, too.
The problem is that you do need the love and support of others, especially now. To be a forgotten mourner is to feel alone and unacknowledged. That is a lonely, terrible place to be.
There are a number of things you can do to break through this wall of isolation. Remind yourself that your friend or family member died of a common, deadly disease. Learn more about opioid use and how it’s affecting so many people. Reach out to others impacted by overdose death.
Above all, talk openly about both the death and its effects on you and your family whenever you get the chance. Shining a light of openness and empathy on overdose deaths will help you and others heal. It will also make others feel more comfortable about reaching out to you and bringing up the death.