Chapter Eight
Charice
The bright bulbs went off in my face. Mad as hell, I pushed the camera back. “Move! Excuse me! Please leave us alone,” I yelled, trying to escort my children inside their private school.
“Mommy, why are these people following us?” Charity asked.
“Just hush and keep moving,” I replied.
“Charice! Can you give us a comment about your relationship with Lincoln Harper?” one reporter asked.
“What is Ryan Westmore saying about your engagement?” another asked, flashing more cameras in my face.
“I’m trying to take my children to school. Please leave,” I bellowed in frustration. I pushed open the front doors and allowed them to slam shut in their faces.
Well, the cat was officially out of the bag now, and boy was it out big time. Now my life was riddled with turmoil. Ryan hated Lincoln and wasted no time expressing that to me and anybody else who would listen, with the exception of the press. He didn’t want Lincoln around the triplets or me, and not a day went by when Ryan didn’t try to convince me to leave Lincoln and be with him. When I refused, it turned into a shouting match over the stipulations he wanted to put on me about the triplets with regard to Lincoln.
To add to our problems, Lincoln had been in more than one argument with other teammates about dating me, and he and Ryan had come to blows in the stadium parking lot. The media was hounding all of us like crazy. My home was no longer private, and even Lincoln’s parents and my parents were dragged into the mess by the paparazzi. Now they were cornering me at my children’s school. What the hell?
The media ran all kinds of crazy headlines about it: A COWBOY’S LOVE AFFAIR, COWBOY’S LOVE TRIANGLE, and the most beloved title, TWO COWBOYS AND A COWGIRL. I had bitches writing me letters asking how I snagged two NFL players as if I were some sort of groupie. It was all beginning to be far too damn much for me.
“Just one statement, Charice,” a reporter said, interrupting me as I rushed out of the school.
“Leave me the fuck alone. How’s that for a statement?” I hurriedly got into my SUV and slammed the door. I took a deep breath and pulled off, leaving the sea of reporters behind.
You would’ve thought that this story would’ve stayed centralized in Dallas, but I thought it was more popular here in Atlanta. Everyone was trying to make it seem as if my motives were malicious when the truth of the matter was that Lincoln and I truly just found each other and fell in love. Was that just too simplistic to believe? Oh, and my family? They just kept giving me the “I told you so” speech, and I was tired of hearing that, too.
To top things off, Lincoln and I were both on edge and under a lot of stress between our families, Ryan, and the media, and it seemed the only thing we could do when we spoke was take it out on each other. We argued over the stupidest shit, like why it took so long for me to call him back, or him acting as if he didn’t have the time to talk to me when I did call. It seemed as if no one understood where I was coming from except my girls.
After I finally got LaMeka’s mom to admit to me that she was in a transitional home, I knew it was time to catch up, so I called a mandatory girls’ gathering. It seemed that we were all going through some shit, and if I couldn’t count on anyone or anything else, I always had them. And right now, I really needed them.
“Is the coast clear?” I asked, pulling up into the backyard of LaMeka’s transitional house. She closed and locked her privacy fence behind me. “These fucking reporters have been hounding the shit out of me.”
“You good,” LaMeka confirmed. I hopped out of my SUV, pulled off my Chanel shades, and headed inside with her.
“Thanks.” I smiled wearily to them. “So, ladies, what’s good?”
“That shit is all over the news and entertainment reports about you, Lincoln, and Ryan. What the hell happened?” Lucinda asked me.
I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. “Ryan caught me in Lincoln’s house.”
“Daaaammnn,” all three of them said in unison.
Trinity shook her head. “I’m not gon’ even go there, Charice. How the fuck did he manage to do that?” she asked sarcastically.
“I missed Lincoln, so I flew down to visit. Apparently, he’d planned a team-building golf game with the offensive line that he forgot about because I was there. Long story short, I’d ordered him something from Best Buy, and I thought it was the deliveryman—”
“And when you got to the door, it was really Ryan,” LaMeka finished, putting two and two together.
“Exactly. But there were also two other dudes from the team.”
Trinity again shook her head in disbelief of my predicament. I could almost see the “I told you so” dancing on her tongue. “I know Ryan was embarrassed like a muthasucka.”
Dropping my head into my hands, I released a weighted sigh. “Embarrassed ain’t even the word for it. More like pissed the fuck off. I’ve never seen Ryan so angry and jealous. He tried to kill Lincoln! Poor Lincoln was trying not to fight him back, but the other two guys could barely contain Ryan. I finally had to stand my ground and let Ryan know that I chose Lincoln, and when I tell you he looked devastated, I mean that thing.”
“Have you talked to Ryan since?” Trinity asked.
“Every day. He’s relentless in getting me to leave Lincoln.”
“Kinda reminds me of Terrence,” she blurted.
Snapping her fingers, Lucinda turned to Trinity with a questioning gaze. “What is the deal with you two anyway? You know, since Suwanee,” she asked as we all nodded.
This time it was Trinity’s turn to drop her head, obviously upset about what she was about to reveal to us. “So much shit has gone on. Honestly, I’d snuck around with Dreads ever since that night in Suwanee. I thought we were careful. It was the best of both worlds, you know. My man to take care of my home, and my man to take care of me. It was playing with fire, but I felt like I could handle it. I guess being with Dreads made me feel invincible in a way. But that invincible shield got penetrated by Pooch. He caught me a couple of Sundays ago in the park having a family picnic with Dreads and the kids.”
A collective gasp swept through all of us. To be honest, I was more shocked to see that Trinity still stood here with us, among the living. Pooch was crazy in love with Trinity, to the point of being obsessed. It was something we all were leery about but never placed stock in because Trinity was loyal to Pooch. Or she had been. But as long as she was loyal to him, there were no problems, because Pooch simply didn’t want Trinity to cheat or leave him. As long as that never happened, we all believed that Pooch would never cause Trinity any harm. But it had happened. Not only was she disloyal, but she’d also cheated, and she’d done both with the number one sworn enemy, Terrence.
We all guessed how that went down, but no one wanted to ask, so I decided to be the one to broach the subject. “What happened?”
“What didn’t happen? That’s the question,” Trinity said sadly. She looked up, and the pools of water developing in her eyes revealed the untold pain that lay behind them. I’d known it was bad, but somehow, I knew—I think we all knew—that it went beyond bad. We all stared at each other and back at Trinity as we braced ourselves for what happened next.
“It all seemed so surreal,” she began. Her voice quivered as she swiped tears out of her eyes. “I had to stop him and Terrence from tearing each other apart in the park with all those kids around, and then . . .” She paused briefly as the tears she’d tried to stop finally rolled down her face. “Pooch beat my ass at the house.” Her shoulders deflated as emotion overcame her. With her hand over her forehead, she took a deep breath and continued through a tearstained voice.
“He, uh, he raped me to prove that I wasn’t gonna give his pussy away,” she barely got out before completely breaking down.
We hurriedly gathered around her. Lucinda rubbed her back while LaMeka and I held her hands. “You don’t have to go on,” LaMeka interjected.
She shook her head. “No, I need to tell y’all this,” Trinity said, her voice continued to shake. “Three days later, Dreads showed up at my house, and Pooch tried to kill him. He had that gun pointed straight at Dreads, but the safety was on, and Dreads beat his ass. I tried to stop them, but I passed out.”
“Passed out?” we all repeated in shock.
She nodded, wiping her eyes. Her next words nearly caused all of us to pass out. “I’m pregnant.”
Lucinda patted her back. “No, Trinity, don’t tell us that, chica,” she said, her voice filled with disappointment. “You know how Pooch feels about kids, and you got pregnant with his child again?” Lucinda asked in disbelief.
Trinity let out a slight groan. “I’m about nine weeks pregnant.”
“So? What does that have to do with anything? You know he don’t want no kids. You can still have an abortion,” Lucinda said. “’Cause you know he’s gon’ make you do it.”
She turned to Lucinda angrily. “First of all, I don’t give a fuck what he would want me to do. I’m not aborting my child, and how dare you of all people even suggest that I should?” Trinity fumed. “Besides, that’s not even my fucking point. Think about what happened two months ago.”
Her words dawned on me. I inhaled sharply, then whispered, “It’s Terrence’s baby.”
Trinity nodded. “Exactly.” She threw her hands up.
Not that I doubted what she said, but it’s not like Trinity and Pooch had been separated. Maybe she was wrong about this. Maybe she simply wanted this child to be Terrence’s. I had to ask because she’d already been through enough with Pooch. A baby, especially a baby by Terrence, could mean her funeral for real. “Okay, listen to me, honey,” I said, turning her face toward me. “How can you be sure?”
“That’s around the time Pooch got robbed. We hadn’t had sex in like three weeks when that shit went down between me and Dreads ’cause he was trying to get his clique straight. Dreads and I didn’t use no protection, and that nigga skeeted all up in my shit. And I am pregnant to the exact date that we made love. It’s definitely, unquestionably Dreads’s baby,” she said as tears rolled down her face.
“Ay, mamacita, what are you going to do? ’Cause if you’re still breathing, then Pooch doesn’t know,” Lucinda said with her usual bluntness.
Trinity rolled her eyes at her and shrugged. “Gee, thanks with your rude ass.” She shook her head before she continued. “Actually, the weirdest shit is Pooch wants me to keep the baby to try to make us close again. But that ain’t gon’ never happen, especially not after what he did to me. The truth of the matter is I love Dreads, and I’m not killing my baby. But right now, I really don’t know what to do.”
We all took a moment to process what she’d said. However, we could offer no real solution. No matter what, Trinity’s mind was already set, so the only thing that could be done was to support her decision.
Although Lucinda had been the one giving Trinity the most grief over the situation, in true best friend form, she was the first to hug and console her. “I’m with you, girl. Whatever you need, I got you. Just don’t let Pooch find out. You know how that bastardo is.”
Trinity pulled back, and out of nowhere, she gave Lucinda the most disgusted glare before she sucked her teeth. “Yeah, and so do you,” she said with a slight attitude.
“What’s up with that?” Lucinda looked at her, confused.
With her lips pursed, Trinity gave her a mean side-eye. “Come on, Lu. You know I know.” She smacked her lips and pointed her index finger at herself. “How you figure you can keep some shit like that from me? You think I live in the dark or some shit? I am Pooch’s girlfriend. Don’t too much shit go on with his businesses and operations that I don’t find out about.”
Lucinda looked so defeated as she put her head down, seemingly embarrassed. “I figured he’d tell you.”
“Oh, he didn’t, but you damn sure should have,” Trinity fussed. She crossed her arms and rolled her neck. “Skeet, Dread’s best friend, is cool with Greg. How you figure I wouldn’t find out about Spanish Fly? I just thought we were cool enough for you to tell me. You been my bestie since forever. But apparently you and Pooch is a little cooler than me and you,” Trinity smarted off.
At this point, I was just as confused as LaMeka, who looked at me for answers that I couldn’t offer. I placed my hand up to stop their back-and-forth. “Wait. Hold up. What the hell are you two talking about?” I asked finally.
Trinity looked over at Lucinda, who held a timid expression on her face, and she rolled her eyes again. “Go on and tell her about Spanish Fly. You scandalous, Lu. How you gon’ audition for Pooch?”
“You don’t know the whole story,” she said, her voice trembling.
“Audition?” I asked with a puzzled expression.
“Mm-hmm. Yep, audition,” Trinity said nonchalantly.
This powwow just got wilder and wilder. Thank God we were all seated, because between my drama, Trinity’s revelation, and Lucinda’s scandalous antics, I was sure my legs were too weak to hold me up. My goodness. What the hell was going on with us? It seemed all of us were tied up in some bullshit that we all desperately needed to figure out and figure out quick. LaMeka and I stared at Lucinda in utter disbelief as we waited for her to explain. She had to explain this shit. This could not be life.
Lucinda looked at us as if pleading for us to hear her out. “Ay, mamacita. It wasn’t like that, you guys. I swear,” she cried. “The truth is Raul got me fired from my job, so I was a stripper at Moet for a little bit,” she admitted. “I called Pooch, and he put me down.”
“More like you auditioned naked in front of him to get the gig. That’s the only way Pooch put you down,” Trinity popped off.
“No you didn’t,” LaMeka and I hollered in disbelief. Oh, hell no! This was too much.
“I had to! I needed the money!” Lucinda shouted with regret. “It’s not like I slept with him. It was just for the gig. I swear. I put that on Nadia’s life,” she cried, looking at Trinity.
As the information Lucinda revealed filtered into our minds, LaMeka gazed at her as if she’d just realized something. “Wait. How did Raul get you fired?” LaMeka asked.
Lucinda sat back and rubbed her neck. She bit her lip, and you could tell just the thought of what transpired ate away at her. Sucking in air, Lucinda explained, “Long story short, that bastardo came to my job and picked a fight with me and my coworkers. It was a mess. Security and another manager had to get involved. Raul got arrested, and I had to make a statement. Later on, I was released from my job because my situation was an immediate danger to other employees,” Lucinda said, unable to hold back the slow and steady stream of tears that flowed from her eyes as she told the story.
She shrugged and lifted apologetic eyes to Trinity before placing both her hands atop hers. “I did what I thought I needed to do. I didn’t say anything to you or to anybody because I was embarrassed. I didn’t want anyone to know what I was doing, and most importantly, I never wanted to betray you, Trin. You gotta know that. I didn’t want to audition. I just didn’t know what else to do. But I never wanted to hurt you or our friendship. You are my bestie for life.”
Hearing Lucinda’s heartfelt plea softened all of us, especially Trinity. The huff deflated from Trinity, and she released a sigh, then embraced Lucinda tightly. “It’s all right,” she consoled her, then pulled back and looked at her as she held her by her shoulders. “Honestly, I was more pissed that you felt you couldn’t tell me. How could you trust Pooch over any of us? Over me?”
That part. We all nodded in agreement. I got that she was embarrassed and didn’t want to tell others, but this was us. The four amigas. Even if she didn’t tell LaMeka or me, she should’ve known she could go to Trinity. They’d been best friends forever. There was nothing that they couldn’t share. Trinity would’ve been there for her hands down.
She hunched her shoulders. “I don’t know. I really wasn’t thinking. I didn’t want you to be mad with me, I guess. But one thing’s for sure: it wasn’t about trusting him. At the time, I was desperate for a way out of my situation, that’s all,” Lucinda admitted.
Her explanation made sense. All things aside, Lucinda had always been the type to do what she had to do for Nadia. Besides, who were we to judge? None of us were in good standing with our decisions of late, and I could only imagine being in a financial struggle only to get fired. Lucinda may have been wrong, but desperate doesn’t care about wrong or right. It cares about survival. And that’s all she had tried to do—survive.
“Are you still stripping?” I asked because whether she wanted to or not, she would accept my financial assistance. I would not allow her to continue to degrade herself at some damn Club Moet.
“Hell no. I got a job,” she said with a slight smile.
“Where?” we asked.
“Doing medical claims at home. My old boss, Mr. Sharper, hooked me up.” She smiled, starry-eyed.
We all glanced at each other knowingly. Then Trinity grinned. “I know that fucking smile. It got bright as hell when you mentioned that fine-ass Mr. Sharper. Spill that shit.”
Mm-hmm, Lucinda’s ex-supervisor was fine as hell. And the look on her face told us he’d helped her with much more than a new job. We sat back in anticipation for the scoop on this new development.
A blush flashed in Lucinda’s cheeks, and she couldn’t help but giggle. “There’s not much to say, chicas.” She shrugged as we all gave her the “spill the tea” look. “I’ll admit, Aldris is a good man. He really bent over backward to get me that job, and umm, he wants to take me out.”
Finally, something good to celebrate! Her good news caused a smile to grace all of our faces. Excitedly, I asked, “Good! You going, right?”
She shrugged. “I said I was. I mean, he ain’t one of these hood dudes we used to fuckin’ with. I should want better, but a hood dude is all I’m used to. And full disclosure, he saw me in Club Moet, so I am ashamed of that, too. I don’t know. I just don’t feel like I’m good enough for someone like Aldris.”
To hear she thought she wasn’t good enough was disheartening, and Trinity confirmed what we all thought. “You are more than good enough,” Trinity said to her. “You may be from the hood, but on the real, you handle yours, and any nigga with two blind eyes can see you a good catch.” LaMeka and I chimed in with our agreement.
She put her hands up, shaking her head in disagreement. “Wait, y’all. But he is different. He’s educated and successful. What can I offer him?” Lucinda asked, staring blankly at the coffee table.
Placing my hand on her face, I lifted her chin so that we were eye to eye and I could encourage her. “Go out with him and find out.”
“I don’t know—”
Out of nowhere, LaMeka huffed and blew up on us. “Y’all bitches get on my nerves,” she blurted out.
Appalled, we all gasped and looked at LaMeka as if she were crazy. She’d been unusually quiet, but this was totally out of character.
“Fuck is all that about?” Trinity asked.
“Yeah,” Lucinda and I agreed.
For a few moments, LaMeka just stood there, staring at us with a blank expression on her face. It was as if she were in a trance. Then suddenly, her eyes blinked rapidly and instantly, she began crying, like really heart-wrenching crying. I tried to lean over and console her, but she pushed me away. She grabbed a Kleenex and dabbed her eyes and then looked at all of us as if she could whip our asses.
“The only person who I remotely feel sorry for is Trinity, and that’s because she really is in a dangerous situation with Pooch, but still, all you have to do is leave that nigga. All three of you are sitting up here, acting like the world is on your shoulders when it ain’t,” she said and turned to Trinity. “If you love Dreads, leave with his ass. You got your own ass caught up following up Pooch’s lame-ass promises when you knew he wasn’t nothing but a dope boy.”
Next, she directed her attention to Lucinda. “And you, give that damn man a chance. How many of us can say that a man like that would even be interested in us? He got you a job and all. Please miss me with that drama, Lu. For the first time since Raul, you have a chance at something special. Stop being stupid.”
Then, she faced me. “But you are the worst of all, Charice. I watched you nearly break down when Ryan left you with three kids and having to abort a fourth. Of all of us, you graduated and went to college with three kids. I’ve seen you struggle with those kids and push your dreams to the side just to get a decent-paying job, and I admired that. You were the encouragement for every teenage mother and single parent around. Now you up here trippin’ off the fact that the media has put your fucking relationship with a multimillionaire on blast. Hiding behind your five-hundred-dollar shades and tinting the windows of your eighty-thousand-dollar SUV. For what? You fucking made it! You got a baby daddy who now loves his kids and takes damn good care of them, and a rich man who loves you regardless of the fact that he was dead-ass wrong for hooking up with your ass! Please. Your only decision these days is whether or not you want diamonds or pearls on your Vera Wang original wedding dress, and you worried about looking bad on the news? Oh, whatever shall the fuck you do? You wasn’t worried about the news or Ryan when you was flying your ass in and out of Dallas and to Paradise Island! Don’t even act like that shit bothers you now. Some of us have real shit to worry about,” LaMeka spewed at me.
Lucinda and Trinity stared at her with their mouths wide open, unable to believe that LaMeka just said that. Of all of us, LaMeka was the quiet one, the super-sensitive one, the one who always encouraged people and gave out empathy. Now she all but accused us of being self-absorbed. Granted, my situation may not have been the hellacious situation that Trinity was in or that Lucinda had to face, but it was still a situation to me, and nobody had the right to discount it regardless of what they were going through.
“Now hold the fuck up, LaMeka,” I started. “You are the one who needs a fucking reality check! I will admit that of all our situations, I’d rather be in my own. You’re right. My baby daddy is rich, and so is my man, but money ain’t everything. All of us are after the same thing, peace of mind, and right now, none of us have that. Now I’m sorry you had to endure the hell you did behind Tony’s raggedy ass, but let’s be real. The Tony Light we knew in high school ain’t the same Tony he is now. You’ve been out of high school for years, LaMeka. You should’ve been woke up on that shit! None of us made you stick around while Tony tagged on your ass, and I do remember that both Trinity and I begged you to leave. We both had the funds to help you get set up, but you chose to stick around hoping and wishing. Now I’m not knocking that, because I’ve been there. We all know Ryan was my heart long after everybody had given up on him, but what I’m telling you is I won’t knock the fork out of your hand if you don’t snatch the spoon out of mine. We all made fucked-up decisions behind a nigga, and we all deserve happiness. So pour out your little fucking cup of haterade, put your big-girl drawers on, and handle that shit with Tony,” I said sternly with a finger point and an eye roll.
“Ay, mami!” Lucinda said, high-fiving me. “I couldn’t have said that shit better myself.” She looked over at LaMeka. “The fact still remains that I have to deal with Raul, and you speaking up on Aldris as if it’s certain he’s the one. I haven’t even gone out with the man yet,” she said, rolling her eyes.
“And you talking about just leaving Pooch as if his ass ain’t one of the most notorious kingpins around. This nigga got judges and police on payroll, and I’m supposed to what? Trust in the legal system if he flips and tries to hurt me or my family? You trippin’, LaMeka. Tony done knocked the fucking sense out of yo’ head and shit,” Trinity countered with plenty of attitude.
Tears welled up, and suddenly, LaMeka began to cry again. “But I’ll bet Aldris, Pooch, Terrence, Lincoln, nor Ryan may have brought y’all back the package.”
My heart dropped to my toes, and I instantly grabbed LaMeka and hugged her. For the next few minutes, all any of us could do was cry silent tears. Talk about news that could change your entire perspective in an instant. I didn’t think emotions had ever taken over any of us so fast. But hearing that my bestie—scratch that, my sister—may have the package was enough to bring down my emotions like the Berlin Wall. We may have had to deal with a lot of things, but the possibility of death from an incurable disease wasn’t one of them. Forget all that mess I just said. Immediately, I wanted to do whatever I could for her.
“Are you sure?” I finally asked. “How do you know this?”
“I saw that bitch Kwanzie at the hospital. I was going to fire up on her ass, but she looked like death. Then she told me that she had it. She was getting help for her addictions and HIV. She says she got it sharing dirty needles with some junkie,” she explained to us.
“You’re not sure if you have it?” Trinity asked with a worried expression on her face.
She shrugged. “No, I’m not sure if I have it. Hell, I’m not sure if he has it. I got tested three months ago, and I spoke with the nurse, and she said a positive normally doesn’t show up for six months. I took another test, and it was inconclusive, so right now I’m in limbo. The sad part is I still haven’t told my sister. I guess now is probably the time to tell you all that I caught Misha and Tony screwing in my bed, raw.” We all gasped. “She was blazed, and so was he. That’s how everything came to a head. We had a confrontation, and I busted him in the face with his gun. Fearful that he’d kill me, Misha, the kids, and I ran and jumped in the car to leave. And he tried. He busted my car window out and nearly choked the life out of me, but I escaped. I dumped Misha off at our mom’s house, and after I left the hospital, I ended up at a shelter that Pastor Gaines recommended. Afterward, Pastor Gaines got me set up at this transitional house. I haven’t seen Tony since,” she explained.
“I have to get Misha tested, but I’m so scared to do that. If she’s positive, then that means that Tony definitely is, unless she got it from Joe or some other knucklehead, which I doubt. But if Tony has it, then there is a strong possibility that I do too.” She broke down in tears again. “Y’all, I don’t want to die. I want to live. I want to find my soul mate and go to school and be somebody one day. I want to be a good mother and grow old watching my grandchildren play. I don’t want to go out like that. Not with the package.”
We all sat there silently for what seemed like forever, holding hands and crying. Who knew when we all were playing hopscotch and double Dutch in the neighborhood that our lives would be so complicated? Who knew we’d meet boys who’d promise us everything under the heavens and put us through hell? Who knew that one night of youthful pleasure could lead to a lifetime of heartache and pain? We certainly didn’t, but here we were. In LaMeka’s case, that lifetime could be cut real short. For the first time since Ryan found out about Lincoln and me, I was thankful for my problems, because at least HIV was not on my list of them.