Never Again,Â?No More 2Â?

Previously from Never Again, No More

As I drifted off, my mind began to reminisce about the awesome night I’d had with my ex, Terrence, or rather my personal love-name for him, Dreads, and I felt myself smiling. I loved Dreads, and I wanted him so bad. I knew I had to figure out a way to get back to him, but real talk, a part of me still felt obligated to my man, Pooch. He’d been there for me when I couldn’t depend on anybody else, and I’d just betrayed him in the worst way. Did it mean I still wanted to be in the relationship? Absolutely not. I wanted Dreads. If I was truthful with myself, it’d always been Dreads for me, and it always would be. I’d choose him a hundred times over. But like Dreads said, if I was nothing else, I was loyal, and that was the part that made me feel bad for the exit I would soon make from this relationship with Pooch. If only I knew exactly how to do that . . . safely.

Ugh! It bothered me that I didn’t know what or how I was going to do anything. The only thing I knew for sure was that even though I had love for Pooch, in my heart, I was in love with Dreads, and I longed to be with him.

With thoughts of Dreads on my mind, I didn’t even hear my cell phone ringing with another call from Pooch.

“Baby, I don’t think there is anything else I can say or do to show you how much I love you and want to be with you other than to show you that my commitment is permanent. Love is strange. It strikes at the oddest times in the most unexpected places. But once you have it, you hold on to it, and you cherish it for life. That’s what I want to do for you, baby. I want to love you for a lifetime. I want to love the triplets for a lifetime. I want to love our future babies for a lifetime. I want to be married to you for a lifetime. Will you accept this ring as my commitment to you? Charice, will you marry me?”

Nodding my head rapidly, I cried, “Yes! Yes! Yes!”

Lincoln teased me earlier that he would have me up all night, and now, I had to agree. Oh yes, tonight was most definitely going to be an all-nighter! After all the turmoil I’d endured since tenth grade with my triplets’ father, Ryan, from giving my whole heart to him for him to shatter it over and over, to breakups, to makeups, to him not supporting me or the kids for his NFL career, I finally had a real man who loved me just as much as I loved him. I was so very happy that I, Ms. Charice Taylor, was about to become Mrs. Charice Harper!

Now we just had to break the news to Ryan. How could we tell him that Lincoln, his teammate and best friend, and his babies’ mother were not only dating but officially engaged?

“Wait, Pooch,” I called out before he hung up. I couldn’t believe I was going to ask this. But my daughter Nadia’s picture on my keychain stared back at me, and for her, I’d do the unthinkable. “Um, do you, um, do you need any, you know, dancers at Moet?” I asked timidly, hiding my eyes as I even asked the question.

“I mean, we always auditioning. If you got talent, we’ll put you on. Of course, you know they make good.”

“Can I audition?”

Pooch paused for a moment and then slowly said, “You do realize by ‘dance’ I mean strip? Moet is a strip club, Lu.”

“I know that. I’m desperate.”

“Damn,” he grumbled before continuing. “Well, if you’re serious, meet me and my manager, Greg, down there at eight tonight. We’ll audition you on the stage. You gon’ have to strip. Thongs and sexy heels only. No tops, not even a bra. You got to show us some true skill, something we can claim as your specialty.”

Wait. I knew I would do anything for Nadia, but that pushed the limits. He couldn’t possibly mean I would have to strip in front of him. Nope. “Pooch, I ain’t auditioning in front of you! You’re my best friend’s man!”

“Your choice, Lu. You called me. Greg and I make that decision together. Trust me, it’s only business. If you feel like you can’t do it, then don’t be there. But I’m trying to lace your pockets, mama.”

He was serious. Wow. I’d hit a true crossroads. I sat there for a moment in contemplation. “I don’t have to get down with y’all to get on, do I? ’Cause I’m not betraying Trinity like that. Hell, I’m not even sure I want to betray her by the audition.”

“Hell naw. I’m a businessman, Lu. Too many of these skank-ass bitches get down with these grimy-ass niggas. I ain’t bringing my babe back shit, and I’m scared shitless of that fuckin’ package.”

“A loyal thug.”

“You know how I am about Trin any-fuckin’-way. So, look, all I’m saying is you got an audition, so show up and you could have a job. Don’t show up, and that’s your choice too, but then don’t call me again, because money I have to blow, but time I don’t,” Pooch said seriously.

“I hear you,” I said, still undecided.

“So I’m going to say see you at eight o’clock. Whether you do or don’t is up to you, but you’ve been put on notice. Remember that shit.”

“Yeah, I know. Thanks,” I said plainly.

“It’s all love,” he said and hung up.

Holding my head in my hands, I sat there for a few minutes. Then I called information to get the unemployment office’s number and made an appointment to go down there about my unemployment. At least that was taken care of. It was a start.

After I hung up, I noticed a message on my cell phone. I retrieved it and was reminded about my overdue light bill. Disconnection was set for next week if I didn’t have their money. When it rained, it fucking poured. I shook my head at the message and my predicament. Anger consumed me. Fuck it. Fuck my deadbeat baby’s daddy, Raul. Fuck my old job at National Cross. Fuck school. Fuck my entire life. Wrong or not, I had to do what I had to do. I couldn’t allow Nadia to go without because of my fucked-up life. Rolling my eyes at my phone, I deleted the message and cranked up my car.

I headed downtown to go shoe shopping for some sexy heels. I had an appointment to keep tonight at eight.

“What are we doing here?” Misha asked.

“You are going back to Mom’s. I can’t deal with you,” I said angrily.

“No, Meka, please,” she pleaded.

“Get out of my car,” I said sternly, looking at her.

“LaMeka—”

I looked straight ahead as she slowly opened the door and slid out.

“I’m sorry, Meka. I don’t know how to make it right—”

“Go home, finish school, and grow the fuck up,” I interrupted and then drove away. I didn’t even have the heart to make sure she made it in the house first.

I drove until I pulled up to a twenty-four-hour shelter for abused women and children. The pastor had told me about it. Now that the adrenaline rush from the incident at my house—when I found out that my now-estranged boyfriend, Tony, had slept with my sister, Misha, and he tried to kill us both in his coke-induced high—had worn off, I felt weak from the loss of blood. I got out of the car somehow and staggered to the door of the shelter, which was half open. My pastor was standing in the foyer, engrossed in a conversation with some lady.

“Pastor Gaines,” I said weakly, stumbling inside.

“Oh God, LaMeka,” he yelled. My legs finally gave out, and Pastor Gaines caught me just before I hit the floor.

“My babies are in the car. I’m too weak. I need a place . . . ”

And suddenly everything went black.