Goals and a vision are essential for a happy and contented life. They are always positive and give meaning, motivation and satisfaction to our lives. Without goals or a vision we aim for little and achieve even less, dragging ourselves out of bed each morning to another day of repetition, boredom and drudgery, with little or no commitment.
Our goals are the aims, short and long term, that we aspire to, work towards and can reasonably achieve. Vision is slightly different. It is a long-term plan, a hope, a desire, something we have our sights set on, something that if our fairy godmother appeared we would ask her for. As well as having a personal vision most of us have a global vision – such as an end to war, famine greed and cruelty – which we take small steps to achieving, for example, through charity donations, voting in political leaders who reflect our beliefs, going on protest marches, etc. While realizing our global vision is largely outside our control, our personal vision is as attainable as our goals.
The goals we set for ourselves should be realistic – i.e. within our grasp. They may be personal to us or we may share them with a larger group, for example our family. Our goals, particularly our short-term goals, will change as we achieve them and move on to the next goal. Examples of personal short-term goals include:
* learning a new simple skill: for example, skating, badminton, tennis, swimming
* writing a report or finishing an essay
* painting a picture
* catching an earlier train to work so we are not late again
* cleaning out the rabbit hutch or taking the dog for a walk
* doing the housework
* being more patient with a demanding child
* saving a set amount each week or month, or clearing an overdraft.
Personal goals are the tasks we set ourselves on a daily, weekly or monthly basis. Often we set ourselves short-term goals and achieve them without even realizing it.
Long-term goals require more planning and forethought, so we are usually aware of their existence as we work towards attaining them. Long-term goals are bigger, more challenging, far reaching, and require more determination and effort, over months and even years. Examples include:
* studying for an exam, a degree or professional qualification
* decorating the house
* starting a family
* paying off the mortgage or moving house
* acquiring a new and complex skill such as learning a foreign language, learning to drive or learning to sign read
* walking the Great Wall of China
* writing a book
* becoming a manager, managing director, consultant, etc.
Group goals are the aims and ambitions of a group we belong to. The group may be our family, circle of friends, work colleagues, evening class or club we are a member of. The group will have short-and long-term goals which might be:
* saving for a special family holiday, moving house or emigrating
* starting up or expanding a business
* Parent Teachers Association (PTA) fundraising to build a swimming pool or gym for the school
* attaining promotion for the amateur football, rugby team, etc, you play for.
Some short-term goals will fall in the wider picture of our long-term goals. For example:
* researching for the essay you have to write to attain your degree
* saving for the flat you want to buy, or holiday you wish to go on
* shopping for the birthday party you’re going to throw
* collecting data for the company’s five-year plan.
Personal goals are essential for a positive, meaningful, happy and contented life because they give us purpose while we pursue them, and when we achieve them we feel satisfaction and accomplishment. With the achievement of long-term goals the feeling can be immense; we may even feel slightly deflated and aimless for a while, until we find the next goal to aim for.
Even in adverse circumstances it is still vital we set ourselves short-and long-term goals. If you are unemployed, for instance, setting short-and long-term goals including the routine of getting up at a reasonable time (as we did when we went to work), job hunting, speaking to friends, reading and acquiring new skills that will increase our chances of finding work. All of which will add to your positive feelings of self-worth, happiness and contentment.
When you achieve your goal, whether it is short-or long-term, personal or group, it is essential to congratulate yourself and enjoy the satisfaction and reward of what you have done. The achievement of short-term personal goals may easily be missed in the rush of everyday life, but it feels good and builds your confidence to recognize what you have gained, whether it is winning a contract at work or making a meal from a new recipe at home. So when you accomplish something, take a moment to give yourself a pat on the back, or if it is a group achievement share it – Thanks everyone, that was a job well done.
Recognizing and drawing satisfaction from the goals we achieve motivates us towards those goals we are still working on. Many of the children I foster have very low self-esteem, feeling they are worthless and haven’t achieved anything, simply because no one has praised them for something they have done well. Praising them for even minor achievements starts them on the road to greater self-confidence so that they feel able to tackle bigger tasks. They develop and grow.
Every one of us can achieve on a daily basis, even if what we achieve is something relatively small or mundane, for example fixing the latch on the side gate or tackling the week’s ironing. By accomplishing a goal we draw strength from its achievement, no matter how big or small.
Some people are very good at setting goals, short-and long-term, and do so automatically, without much conscious thought. They spring out of bed each morning, focused, with a clear idea of what they are aiming for that day, week, month or year, or in five years’ time. This is fantastic, although if you are one of these people you need to make sure your dedication and focus doesn’t exclude the here and now. It is essential to live in and enjoy the present while you strive for and achieve your goals; otherwise you will wake up in middle age, accomplished, successful, financially secure but wondering where life went. Goals should be balanced: have your sights set on what you want to achieve but also take pleasure in what is going on around you in the here and now.
For those who haven’t yet developed the habit of automatically setting and achieving goals, the technique can be easily learnt. The following is a straightforward and simple practice to train your mind to set goals, and it works very well.
1. Focus on the next day. At night, as you relax in bed, before you go to sleep, spend a few moments focusing on the following day. Not to the extent of stressing yourself and keeping yourself awake but viewing the day as if watching it on television, like a soap if you wish.
2. Briefly run through what you have planned for the following day and the outcomes you are hoping for: i.e. your short-term goals. Even though much of the day is likely to be routine, it will still contain goals.
Let’s say you are home based, raising your children. You will be aiming to get yourself and the children up and dressed, have breakfast, maybe with a school or nursery run, followed by shopping and housework, with a break when you hope to finish the novel you have been reading. Your aim (i.e. your goal) is to do all this, to the best of your ability, calmly and in good time. You might factor in an additional goal of joining a mothers and toddlers group to meet other mothers, or brushing up on your IT skills for when you return to work. Or maybe you will set yourself an altruistic goal of going to visit the elderly lady down the road with a bunch of flowers. All these are short-term goals and when treated as such give your life added meaning, and therefore happiness and contentment.
If you go out to work, to remind yourself of your short-term goals you might say to yourself: Tomorrow I need to write the report for Tuesday’s meeting, and phone Brian to see if he wants to play squash after work.
If your short-term goal is part of a long-term goal, as keeping your IT skills going is in the first example, then acknowledge the long-term goal it is part of: this will keep you focused and motivated towards the aimed-for achievement.
3. Remind yourself of your goals first thing in the morning, as you shower and dress and fire up for the day ahead. These small ‘snapshots’ of the day ahead are invaluable for defining and focusing on goals, and therefore make achieving them more likely.
4. At the end of the day acknowledge the achievement of your goals, no matter how small they seem, and enjoy the satisfaction that comes with it. Even if nothing out of the ordinary happened, still acknowledge your achievement and congratulate yourself. For example: I got the kids to school on time, cleaned the house and typed that letter of complaint.
5. Turn any unfinished tasks into new goals. If there were tasks you didn’t complete in the day and have to return to, carry them over to the next day. In this way they become new goals. Congratulating yourself on what you did achieve and setting what you didn’t as a new goal is a way of thinking and acting positively that means you don’t beat yourself up when you fall short of your aim but instead focus on what you did well and how best to complete the tasks.
6. Make a list. If you are likely to forget your goals, short-or long-term, then write them down. I am a great believer in notelets. I couldn’t get by without them, and these are in addition to my diary and work plan for writing. Make a list of your goals like a shopping list, and tick them off as you achieve them.
A list for one day for me might look something like this:
Take Alex to contact, 9.30
Buy paint for bedroom
Edit article for website
Shop – bread, cheese, fruit
Collect Alex 12.30
Draft outline of chapter two while Alex has his nap
Dinner – fish?
Watch holiday programme on Egypt 8.00 p.m. Next year’s holiday?
This list contains some short-term goals – for example, taking Alex to contact and shopping – while others are part of longer-term goals – drafting the outline of chapter two for a book that will take a year to write and watching the television programme for a possible holiday next year. Although some of these goals could be described as routine or mundane, they are no less important and if I strive to achieve them to the best of my ability I will take pleasure in having done them.
Writing down your goals and ticking them off has the added bonus of allowing you to see exactly how much you achieve in a day. While it might be a reality check for some (who perhaps need to set and achieve more goals), for many it comes as a pleasant surprise to see how much we do achieve in an average day.
We all have at least one vision which is personal to us. We could call it our ultimate dream. It is that hope, that aspiration, that longed-for achievement that we work towards and will never give up on even if it takes a lifetime to accomplish. Often we don’t tell anyone about our vision, or possibly we share it only with our closest loved ones, until we are close to achieving it or have achieved it. As I mentioned earlier, we may also have a vision on a global level, such as enough food and clean water for all, world peace, and end to cruelty and abuse. We do what we can to achieve our global vision by donating to charities, signing petitions, demonstrating and voting, etc, but largely we have to leave our global vision in the hands of our country’s elected leaders, frustrating though this can be at times.
Fortunately, however, our personal vision – and how it can be attained – is safely in our own hands and therefore achievable. It may have a dream-like quality and it may sometimes appear to be outside our reach, but it will be something we can work towards. Attaining our vision is not easy; many visions are ones that take a lifetime to achieve. But the happiness and sense of fulfilment once we have our dream is like no other. All the years of hard work are worthwhile.
I spent thirty years with the vision that one day I would have a book published. I was writing short stories, articles, etc., but like so many aspiring writers the book deal kept escaping me. My vision wasn’t for material gain but for the recognition of me as a writer – that a publisher liked my book enough to want to publish it. It was a stamp of approval. Thirty years is a long time to nurture and work towards a vision, but although my confidence took quite a few knocks I never gave up. When I finally achieved my dream I was obviously ecstatic, as was my family, with whom I finally shared my dream on the day the book arrived in the shops.
If I hadn’t attained my vision would I have continued working towards it? Undoubtedly. Although we might have to adapt our vision, we never give up on it. I know a man who is seventy-five and is about to fulfil his lifetime dream of sailing around the world. He says he’s had to accept that it would be unwise to attempt the voyage single-handed now, as he’d hoped to do as a younger man, but nevertheless he will achieve his vision by being part of a crew.
Our personal vision doesn’t have to be ‘sensible’; in fact it often isn’t. Very few of our dreams are based on common sense and practicality. But our vision does have to be attainable. It is no use having a vision of wanting to be a famous singer if you can’t sing – as many X Factor contestants have found out to their great distress. Or becoming a famous footballer if you never learn to play football. Visions can be fantastical but not fanciful; if they are fanciful we set ourselves up for frustration, disappointment and failure.
My guess is that as you are reading this you have a warm frisson of recognition. Maybe your vision is to travel to the Far East, work in an orphanage, climb Everest, scuba dive, parachute, paint pictures, own your own company or, like me, write books. Your vision is more elaborate and far-reaching than your long-term goal but it is important to you and you owe it to yourself to nurture it alongside your daily life until it reaches fruition, when you can quietly glow in your achievement. And if someone shares their vision with you, consider yourself very privileged and give them all the encouragement they need to accomplish it. Forty-five years ago Martin Luther King had a vision and its legacy is still with us today.