We stared up at the giant flying eyeball. It stared back down at us. Then the whole tree began to tremble and shake and rise up into the air.
‘I didn’t know our tree could fly,’ said Terry.
‘I don’t think the tree is flying,’ said Jill. ‘I think the UFE is lifting it up! We’re being abducted by a giant flying eyeball!’
‘Yay!’ said Terry. ‘We’re going on an intergalactic space adventure! I love intergalactic space adventures!’
‘Me too!’ I said. ‘And just think of all the ideas we’ll get for our next book!’
The higher we got, the faster we went, and, in what felt like no time at all, we had left Earth’s atmosphere and entered outer space.
THE DAY WE WERE ABDUCTED BY A GIANT FLYING EYEBALL AND TAKEN ON A CRAZY RIDE THROUGH SPACE.
We were on the outer edge of the solar system when the 3D video phone rang.
I pushed the button to answer it. It was Mr Big Nose, our publisher. His big nose filled the screen.
‘What took you so long to answer the phone?’ he yelled. ‘Where were you?’
‘We’re in space,’ I said. ‘We just passed Uranus.’
‘Are you trying to be funny?’ said Mr Big Nose. ‘I’m a busy man, you know. I don’t have time for jokes!’
‘No, it’s not a joke,’ I said. ‘It’s true! We really are in space.’
‘What are you doing out there?’ he shouted. ‘You’re supposed to be writing a book, remember?’
‘I do remember,’ I said, ‘and I was trying to get ideas for it, but I couldn’t because this really annoying fly was really annoying me, and then we got abducted by a giant flying eyeball!’
‘A likely story!’ said Mr Big Nose. ‘But even if it were true, it’s no excuse. Your book is due at five o’clock on Friday! And it had better be good. In fact, it had better be better than good—it had better be out of this world!’
‘I think we can safely promise you that,’ I said.
‘What?’ said Mr Big Nose. ‘I can’t see or h—you very well. You’re br—king up.’
‘You’re breaking up, too,’ I said.
‘I’ll br—k you up if — don’t get your — to — on time!’ yelled Mr Big Nose, and then the screen went blank.
‘Goodbye, Mr Big Nose,’ said Terry.
‘Goodbye, solar system,’ said Jill.
‘What will we do now?’ said Terry.
‘Let’s get started on the book,’ I said. ‘I’ve got a great idea for the beginning. Get this … I’m chasing a fly around, and then you come along and try to help but you set the treehouse on fire, and then Jill calls the treehouse fire brigade and then we—and our whole tree—get abducted by a giant flying eyeball!’
‘Wow!’ said Terry. ‘I love it! Action-packed! What happens next? Where does the eyeball take us?’
‘Well, I’m not too sure,’ I said, ‘because it hasn’t happened yet. But I think we travel for a long time.’
‘A long time?’ said Terry. ‘How long?’
‘Not too long,’ I said. ‘And, um … it actually feels really short because we … we … we go to the time-wasting level and waste lots and lots of time, and soon all the time is wasted and we are there. Come on, let’s go—there’s no time to waste.’*
*Actually, as it turned out, there was … quite a lot, actually.
We began wasting time immediately. We started by tearing paper up into millions of tiny pieces and throwing them around to make snowstorms.
Then, when there was no more paper left, we decided to pop some bubble wrap. We must have popped at least ten million bubbles each!
After that, we made silly noises. We made every silly noise we could think of … and some that nobody had ever thought of!
And I don’t how much time we wasted doing online personality quizzes (but it was a LOT!).
After all that time-wasting we were feeling quite tired … and we’d only wasted one hour! So we decided to sit on the couch and watch Elephant on a Bicycle.
We had a lot of trouble choosing an episode, though, because they’re all so good—I mean, look at them! Which one would you have chosen?
Obviously, it was impossible to choose just one, so we ended up watching the entire series in order from the first episode to the very last!
‘Gee, we sure have wasted a lot of time,’ said Terry when it was finished.
‘Yes,’ said Jill. ‘I wonder if we’re there yet.’
‘Where?’ I said.
‘Wherever it is we’re going,’ said Jill.
‘There’s a planet out there that looks just like a giant eyeball,’ said Terry. ‘Maybe that’s where we’re going.’
As it turned out, that’s exactly where we were going.
‘Hold tight, everyone,’ said Jill. ‘We’re going in.’