- Throughout the book, the perspective shifts between thirty-eight-year-old Ginny Beale and her eighteen-year-old self, Zinny. How does the person you are now contrast with your eighteen-year-old self? What do you think your high school self would think of the person you’ve become?
- Zinny describes her circle of friends as “the fantastic four” and “the forever four.” What was your group of high school friends like? Have you ever been part of a group that you felt would be together forever?
- Of the moment she fell in love with Gray, Zinny writes, “I remember everything. I remember the exact moment.” Do you think there is something especially important or memorable about a person’s first love? What about the fact that the relationship did not work out as Zinny expected—does that diminish its power or importance?
- Ginny recalls the Quaker burial ground as “our island, our snow globe, our tiny piece of peace” and describes her first visit to the dog park this way: “I recognized where I was: in a completely new world and also home.” She says that both are places where she always tells the truth. Are there or have there been sacred places in your life? What do you think made the places so special?
- How do you view Harris’s behavior toward Cressida? Did your understanding of the relationship evolve throughout the book? Does his behavior constitute infidelity? Do you see it as predatory? When Ginny tells her mother what Harris has done, Adela says, “This is what happens when you marry a man you think will never surprise you.” How do you think a “safe” and unsurprising man like Harris ends up making these kinds of decisions?
- As a mother, Ginny seems very intent on keeping her daughter as safe and sheltered as possible. Where do you think this desire comes from? Do you know parents like this? What are the pros and cons of this approach to parenting?
- What do you think of Adela? Did you find yourself admiring or relating to any of her opinions or actions? What do you think of her relationship with Ginny? With Avery?
- Why do you think Adela gives Avery Zinny’s journal?
- What do you think of Ginny’s reaction to Gray’s revelation about his sexuality? How about the reactions of others in his life, including his father? Gray came out in 1997. Do you think his experience would be different today? How?
- Like Ginny, Daniel is very different from the person he was in high school. What do you think of the adult Daniel? Do you understand Ginny’s attraction to him? What do you make of Ginny’s decision to not ask him if he set the fire?
- When Ginny overhears her mother and Trevor’s last conversation, she decides to erase it, to burn it right out of existence, but the secret haunts her for the next twenty years and changes the course of her life. Do you think it’s possible to delete parts of one’s personal history? In your experience, how can secrets affect a person’s life path? Their relationships?
- Inspired by Zinny’s journal, Avery decides to pursue the true story of her father and Cressida. Do you think this was a good decision? How does it change Avery? How does it affect her life and her relationships?
- Were you surprised to learn who set the Lucretia Mott school fire? Most people assumed someone had done it out of hatred or anger, but the driving emotion was actually love. Do you think that love can lead people to make bad decisions? Does the fact that love motivated them make them less blameworthy than if they’d been motivated by a darker emotion?
- At one point in the story, Avery asks herself: “Was it possible to be a good father and a bad person?” Later, Gray tells her: “Lately, I’ve been thinking about it this way. They love us. And they’ve done something bad that hurt us. You’d think those facts would cancel each other out, but the crazy thing is that they don’t.” How would you answer Avery’s question? Do you agree with Gray? Do you think Avery and Gray will be able to forgive the people who let them down? Should they?
- What do you make of the title I’d Give Anything? Do you see this kind of regret as applying to different moments or characters in the book? What, if anything, in your life would you go back and change if you could?
