Chapter Forty-Nine

I lay awake that night. Cold, alone, and uneasy, I listened to the rain as over the course of several hours it transformed from a light shower to a roaring thunderstorm. It was enormous; and though its intensity was almost enough to drown the thoughts from my head, it was not enough to keep me from thinking about everything that would occur tomorrow night.

Where? I kept on wondering. When?

Grief drove me from bed and to the far side of the flat. Past the kitchen, and down a hall to the left, lay an office in which the majority of Guy’s more material belongings were held. Flushed against one wall was a desk, atop which was a rectangular lamp that cast a vibrant array of light across the room. I flicked this on with a simple click of a switch and settled into a chair I’d not sat in before with a sigh—hands instantly reaching for my hair, elbows automatically planting themselves on the wooden desktop. The fact that I was in here was somewhat outrageous, considering I’d kept away from his personal affairs even after his proclamations that he had nothing to hide, but at that moment, I could care less.

My real reasons for being here were selfish.

I wanted to be close to him.

Here, in this place, in this office, where all his books, old study materials, and even a typewriter were kept, lay an essence I could not deny.

Guy was just as alive here as he was in the flesh, standing right next to me with his hand around my shoulder.

It was funny. I’d always told myself I wouldn’t let myself get wrapped up in a guy while I had my own dreams going on. Now here I was sitting in Guy’s office, in the middle of hill country, living a life I’d never intended.

And now I was planning to dedicate myself to him forever.

“‘Til death do us part,” I mumbled.

Was that why the priests said it at the weddings? To imply the severity of the bond?

I leaned back and cast my eyes to the ceiling, the office chair adjusting with my posture at a diagonal. I kept trying to convince myself of any worth I had in my new and strange existence, yet couldn’t find anything to grasp onto.

In the real world, had I not been expelled, I would’ve been an English major—a teacher, maybe middle or high school, teaching students the importance of literature and the necessary skills of writing. I’d get a paycheck, live in my own apartment or, God willing, a house. I’d eventually find a boyfriend and we’d move in together, maybe move elsewhere. I’d live, eat, breathe and die a normal man. Here, though… everything was up for question.

Kaldr, werewolves, vampires—nothing made sense anymore.

But was it supposed to?

I lay my head atop the desk and stared at the Newton’s Cradle that swung before me.

Transfixed by its rhythm, I eventually lost sight of the outside world.

It wasn’t long before I passed out.