Sixteen

Ashton

Asshole. Why would he do that to me? Again! He’d already made me the butt of every joke on campus. Was it always going to be that way with him? If it was, I was not going to do this with him. I wasn’t. It didn’t matter how much I liked him, how much I might even love him. I was not going to have every embarrassing thing in my life broadcast to the world. I just wasn’t.

I rounded the corner into the kitchen and…

Holy shit! “Oh my God!” I gasped.

And I couldn’t help it. Anyone would have gasped or screamed or…

Matt then stopped kissing Gianna and took a step away from her.

“Are you fucking serious?” I breathed out.

“It’s not what it looks like.” Gianna’s eyes rounded in fear as she looked at me.

My brother looked from me to our dad’s wife. “It’s exactly what it looks like,” he said to her.

And I thought I was going to be sick. “You’ve lost your fucking mind,” I said, turning on my heels back into the hallway. And I collided right into Will, which was just fucking perfect. “Move,” I snapped.

But he didn’t move as much as an inch. “What’s wrong, Ash?” And he sounded so calm and steady, like he always did.

Only everything in the world. “Move, Will.”

“I kind of feel like we’ve done this before.” He tipped my chin up with his thumb. “The last thing I ever wanted to do was make you cry.”

Shit. Was I crying? I didn’t even know I was.

“Ashton,” Matt called from the kitchen. “Come back. Let’s talk.”

Talk? The last thing I wanted to do was talk to my normal brother, who apparently wasn’t as normal as I’d always thought he was.

“What happened?” Will asked, his dark eyes still peering down at me, but all I could see in my mind was Matt kissing Gianna in the kitchen.

I wished I’d never seen that. And I wished I could forget I’d ever seen it. “Everyone in this house is out of their fucking minds.”

“You want to leave?”

I did. I wanted it more than anything else right in that moment. I started for the entry hall to grab my coat and Will was right behind me.

“Ashton.” Matt came up from behind us as I opened the door. “Just wait.”

I glanced back over my shoulder at my brother. “Is this really why Dad is pissed at you?”

“He doesn’t know.”

Probably not. Matt was still alive. “Is that supposed to make it better?’

My brother blew out a breath. “Look, neither of us meant for it to happen, But, you know, Dad’s sleeping around on her. It’s not like—”

“And I always thought you were better than Dad, Matt. I never thought you were like him.” I slipped into my coat and then bolted out the front door.

It was freezing and I had no idea where I was going, but Will was right behind me. His hand landed on the small of my back and he guided me toward his car.

“Where do you want to go?” he asked as he opened the passenger door.

“Anywhere but here.” I shut the door and then clicked the seatbelt into the lock.

Will climbed into the driver’s seat and a minute later, we were backing out of Dad’s driveway and headed toward town. Tears stung my cheeks. I really was crying and I didn’t seem able to stop.

“You want to tell me what happened?” Will asked once we reached a stoplight.

But I shook my head. “No. And I don’t want you to tweet about it either.”

Will sighed. “I’m not going to tweet about it.”

“Why don’t you just not ever tweet anything about me or my family again, Will? That would be a great place to start.” I sniffed and searched the armrest for a tissue and only came up with a scratchy napkin from Chipotle.

Will reached over and squeezed my hand. “I’m sorry, Ashton. I’m really sorry. I was an idiot. Is that what you want me to say?”

But I didn’t want that. I just wanted to not have to worry all the time what he might say to his thousands of followers. “I don’t want you to say anything.” Then I gestured to the stoplight. “It’s green.”

Will let go of my hand, grabbed the steering wheel and pulled through the intersection. He didn’t say anything and neither did I, not for a long time. There was a line of cars wrapped around the Starbucks and though I felt really bad for the baristas for having to work on Christmas, I was so glad they were there. And apparently half the town felt the same way.

“Can we get a coffee?”

“Yeah,” he said softly as he pulled into the parking lot. We got into line behind a Range Rover and then we sat there in silence, edging closer and closer to the drive-thru speaker. And then it was our turn. Will rolled his window down and a burst of freezing air filled the car. “You know what you want?”

A new life. A new family. “Peppermint Mocha.”

A voice came through the speaker and Will ordered a grande blonde roast and my latte. And then he edged closer to the SUV in front of us.

“You want to tell me what happened with your brother?”

I just shook my head. I wasn’t even sure what to say, how to explain it.

“He’s having an affair with your stepmother?” Will guessed.

How the hell did he know that? And was it even an affair? Maybe it was just a kiss? My head snapped toward his. “What?”

“That’s what I figured from the context of your conversation before we left. That and the sexual tension between them.”

There was sexual tension between Matt and Gianna? Was there really? How had I missed that? Was I just so focused on my own world I hadn’t noticed something Will had picked up less than a week with my family? “He told me Dad’s cheating on her. He’s cheated on all of his wives. But…”

“But that doesn’t mean your brother should sleep with his wife?”

No it didn’t. “I don’t want to talk about it, Will.” And then I frowned at him. “And I don’t want you to tweet about any of this. Do I have to specify what things I don’t want made public in the future? Or can I just give a blanket, don’t tweet about me and I’ll be good from now on?”

The Range Rover in front of us pulled away from the drive-thru and Will pulled up next to the window. He handed the barista a credit card and then reached for the first of the drinks. He glanced at the side and then handed the cup to me before retrieving his own cup and dropping his credit card into the armrest. Then He rolled up his window and pulled back out onto the street.

“So I can’t tweet anything about you?” he asked as I took the first sip of my latte.

“No.”

“Nothing?” He looked at me out of the corner of his eye.

“Will,” I breathed out. Was he trying to annoy the shit out of me? Couldn’t he tell I was not in the mood for it?

“I can’t tweet how amazing you are?”

I narrowed my eyes on him, hating how hot he was even when I was pissed at him.

“Or how sweet and wonderful my girlfriend is?”

He thought of me as his girlfriend? I stopped narrowing my eyes.

“You won’t let me tell the world I’m in love with you? I can’t do any of that?”

My mouth fell open. “What?” I breathed out.

“I do, Ashton. I really do love you. And I’m sorry about being an idiot. I would never intentionally hurt you. I wouldn’t.”

He loved me? I sucked in a breath, not sure what to say. But I believed him. That was the thing about Will. He didn’t lie. He wasn’t my dad or my brother or Braden or anyone else. He was Will. And he loved me. And he meant it. My heart lifted in my chest.

“I know you probably think I’m crazy. I know we haven’t known each other that long, but—”

“I love you too, Will,” I said softly. Because I did.

A sigh escaped him. “That doesn’t mean I won’t fuck up, though. I probably will. But it won’t be on purpose, if that means anything.”

It meant almost everything. I bit back a smile as I said, “I guess if you only tweet the really nice stuff, that would be ok.”

He laughed. “Only nice stuff. Got it.” We pulled up to another red light and he shifted in his seat to look at me. “You want to go back? Go somewhere else? Or you want me to keep driving around town?”

“Winslow Park,” I said, gesturing down the road because I wasn’t ready to go home yet. I wasn’t sure if I ever would be. But it wasn’t fair to ask Will just to keep driving around for no reason.

Will

I pulled into a parking lot at the park Ashton had directed me to. The place had a wide-open field and not another car within sight. But then again, it was Christmas morning. I turned in my seat with a little box burning a hole in my pocket.

Ashton’s blue eyes blinked toward me and my heart squeezed at the sight of her. Honest to God, there wasn’t a prettier girl in the world. And as long as I didn’t fuck that up, she loved me. I couldn’t help but smile at her. I hadn’t planned to tell her I loved her like that. But I was glad I had and I was really glad she loved me back. I’d never said those words to another girl, I’d never even thought them before.

“Why does everyone in my family have to be fucked up?” She shook her head. “I thought Matt wasn’t. I thought he was the only normal one. I thought there was hope.”

I squeezed her hand. “I don’t think he did it to hurt you.”

“That’s not the point.” A staggered sigh escaped her. “Am I doomed to be like them, Will? Is it just in my genes?”

“I think you’re pretty perfect,” I replied.

“I’m not perfect at all,” she whispered. “And if I’m like them…”

“You don’t get to choose who you love, Ash. Maybe it just happened with Matt and your stepmother.”

She shook her head again. “You choose whether or not you sleep with your father’s wife, Will. It’s not even some sort of Oedipus thing. And Dad is just as bad. He’s never been faithful to any of his wives. Not Mom, not any of them. So did Matt learn that at his knee? Or was he just predetermined to be an asshole because of our genes? If it’s the latter, you might want to just walk away from me right now.”

“I’m not walking away from you,” I said softly. “I love you, Ash, and I’m not going anywhere.” It looked like she might cry again, and I did have a box almost burning a hole in my pocket. “I got something for you.” Then I reached into my pocket and pulled out that little box. Red wrapped with a white bow.

“What is it?” she asked, though her eyes never left mine.

“Christmas present.”

She put her coffee in the cup holder and took the little red box from me. “Will, you didn’t have to get me anything.”

“Just open it.”

Ashton untied the ribbon and tore the red paper from the box, and then she opened the lid and stared down at the bracelet I’d picked out for her a few days before. A braided leather band connected with a sterling silver heart. She gasped when she saw it.

“Will, it’s so pretty,” she said as she removed the bracelet from the box.

I breathed a sigh of relief. I’d hoped she’d like it, but I hadn’t known for certain. “It’s symbolic. I’m giving you my heart, Ash.”

“I don’t know what to say.” Tears started to trickle down her cheeks.

“Maybe you’ll keep it safe?” I shrugged. “I’ve never given it to anyone before.”

And then her tears fell a little faster. “Damn you,” she whispered, which wasn’t what I expected her to say at all.

“What?”

“You got me the most thoughtful thing ever and I didn’t even come close to matching it.”

Then I did smile. “You don’t have to match it, Ashton.” And then I leaned toward her and pressed my lips to hers. Her fingers brushed against my cheek and I wished we could stay like that forever.

I finally pulled back and smiled again. She really was the sweetest, prettiest girl I’d ever seen. And I was the luckiest guy in the world to have found her.

“I love you, Will.”

And that was the best present she could ever give me. “I love you too. You want to stay here a while longer? Or are you ready to go back?”

Her blue eyes twinkled just a little. “You want to see what I got you for Christmas?”

“Yeah!” I teased, though I couldn’t believe she had even gotten me anything. We’d been almost inseparable since we’d arrived in Westport. When had she gone shopping? The day we were in town when I’d bought her bracelet? She really hadn’t needed to get me anything. I had her heart and that was all I needed, all I wanted.

I helped her put the bracelet on her left wrist and smiled as she admired it on her arm.

We were back at her dad’s in almost no time at all. Her father was waiting on the front porch as we drove up, his arms folded across his chest like he was pissed at the world. For a split second, I considered turning the car around and heading back to Virginia. If Mr. Sommers knew about his wife and his son, it was bound to be a fairly unpleasant Christmas. As it was, he had a pretty good idea about his daughter and me, and heading back might be in both of our best interests.

“Where have you been?” her father snapped as we got out of the car.

“You left,” Ashton replied.

“To get the damn dog.” A muscle twitched in her father’s jaw, like he was just barely keeping his temper. Then he gestured to the front door. “Everyone’s waiting.”

We found everyone in the living room, gathered around with the tree in the far corner. The white lights sparkled, casting a holiday glow around the room. But it was hard not to notice Matt Sommers in a chair on one side of the room while his stepmother was on a love seat by herself with a puppy in her lap. She glanced toward her stepson and I was uncomfortable. I didn’t know what was going to happen with that situation, but I really hoped it came to a head after Ashton and I were back in Virginia. Chris was sprawled across a couch with that black and white cat perched on his stomach.

“She’s back,” Mr. Sommers said, pushing past us and dropping into the spot beside his wife.

Ashton tensed beside me, and I reached for her hand and squeezed.

“Where did you go?” Chris asked, picking his cat up and sat up, making room for the two of us to sit beside him.

“Coffee,” I said. “Just a drive through the snow.”

Ashton tugged me toward the couch and quietly took a spot, but she was miserable. I could see it in her eyes. The last place she wanted to be was in this room with her family. But it was Christmas, there wasn’t anywhere else we could go.

Presents after presents were distributed. New clothes, the latest electronic gadgets, the promise of a cruise next summer, which I got the distinct impression I would not be invited to attend. I didn’t care about any of that though. I only cared that Ashton was beside me, that she rested her head on my shoulder, and that she kept caressing the silver heart clasp on the bracelet I’d given her.

And then she hopped off the couch and retrieved a small little present from under the tree and returned to the couch. She put it in my lap and looked up at me. “Merry Christmas, Will.”

“You didn’t have to get me anything.” Just being with her was more than enough and I didn’t need or want anything else.

“You have to have something to open for Christmas, Will.”

Well, I had given her something, so I guess I knew what she meant.

I tore open the little gingerbread wrapping paper and…I’m not sure what I expected to find, but I’d never in a million years expected to see a little wooden toy train. “Duck,” I said. Then I looked up from the train and found Ashton biting her lip a little nervously.

“It’s silly, I know. Do you hate it?”

“Why would I hate it?” I didn’t really get why she’d given it to me, but I had fond memories of playing with a train just like it when I was a kid.

Ashton shook her head. “I just thought it was so sad you never had any trains of your own. And it seemed like they had such an impact on you. I can just imagine little engineering Will designing the tracks and everything.”

“It’s really sweet, Ashton.”

“You’re sure?” she asked and then bit her lip. “I mean you said he was the train with the most common sense, and I think of you as having the most common sense. The guy in the store tried to talk me into the blue one.”

“Thomas?”

“I guess.” She shrugged.

And I loved her even more. It was a completely impractical gift, but sentimental in every way. And even though I wasn’t very sentimental most of the time, the thought she’d put into my present really did warm my heart. I clutched the little green train in my hand and leaned forward and kissed Ashton. “It’s the sweetest present anyone’s ever given me.”

She pulled back slightly and her smile could light up the room as well as my heart.

“Can I tweet it?” I asked.

“As long as you’re saying something nice.”