I let the question hang there. I’m so fucking torn I don’t know what to do. I want Kelsey, and the more I think about it, the more I want to own my own place. But, I can’t have both.

“Do?”

“About us, the shop, the future?”

“We do what needs to be done.”

She is not helping.

This would have been easier if she would have told me that she wasn’t falling in love too. Actually, knowing she feels the same makes the decision twice as hard.

“Martha is right, I wouldn’t be happy teaching,” I had to admit that to myself. “It made sense when I realized that graphic novels weren’t really my dream anymore, but the habit of a dream.”

“But now?”

“I don’t know.” The answer is honest. “Tattoos have become more important. Now that I really listen to the customers. The idea of one day actually owning my own place is exciting, but scares me. The sticking point is that I’ll be here and you’ll be three hours away.” Weaving my fingers through hers, I say. “I don’t think I can do it without you.”

“Yes, you can.”

My eyes meet hers. “What if I don’t want to?”

“You’ll do what you need to.”

“You aren’t making this easy for me.”

“That’s not my intention.” She smiles gently. “Baxter is the only place that has offered me a job. I could try to find another place to teach, somewhere here in the city, but after what happened with student teaching and the segment airing, I’m not going to hold my breath and hope someone else wants to hire me.”

“I get that.” Though I was really hoping she’d say she’d stay, which is totally unfair to her, and unrealistic.

“So what, I’m here and you are there, and we get together on the weekends?” That would suck on so many levels.

“Think of it this way. You’ll be so busy if you take over Skin Scribes, your time with me would be limited anyway.”

“But, I’d still have you to come home to at night, and we could be like this.”

“Except a lot of my nights would be spent grading papers and making lesson plans. Just because a teacher walks out of the school at three or four in the afternoon, doesn’t mean they don’t have hours of work ahead of them before the school day starts again.”

“Really?” I just thought they went home, did family stuff and went back to work the next day like everyone else with a job.

“Yeah. The only real downtime teachers ever get is when they get the summers off, and that’s only if they don’t take a summer job to help supplement their income because teachers don’t make a ton of money.”

“So, even though we could be together, we might be spending even less time doing things together.”

“At least in the beginning. I’m sure my first year is going to be hard as I build on what I need to teach.”

“And my days and nights will be filled with the shop.”

“Alex, this is a wonderful opportunity. Do not let it go because you want to be with me, three hours away. You’ll spend more time sitting around waiting for me to be free than you will doing things with me.”

“What if that’s fine with me?” Though after a while, I would get antsy and wonder if I hadn’t made a huge mistake, even if Kelsey is in my bed every night.

“I won’t let you come with me, Alex.”

“What? Why?”

“You need to do what is best for you. I need to do what is best for me. That is the only way we will know that it is best for us.”

“Separated?”

“Otherwise someone is giving something up that they want or need to do.”

“Couples do compromise,” I remind her.

“Not on stuff this big.”

She’s right. I sigh and roll onto my back. “Come here.” She scoots closer and lays her head on my chest. Kelsey is perfect for me. Physically and emotionally. How can I even consider a job that will keep me from her? “I don’t know the first thing about running a business.” That is what scares me. There are rules, laws, all kinds of things to know, especially about running a tattoo parlor.

“You were going to go back to school, right? Instead of teaching, maybe you should work on a business degree.”

Business degree? That hadn’t even occurred to me, but it makes complete sense.

“Rent from Martha for now, let her lawyer do all the legal and official stuff while you get your degree. By the time you are done, maybe you’ll be ready to buy it from her, or you’ll know by then if you don’t want it.” She tilts her head up and looks at me. “You’ll never know until you try. And, if you don’t, you’ll always wonder what if. I don’t want to be part of your what if equation. We will be together without sacrificing anything really big, or we won’t be together at all. At least, not down the road.”

She settles against me again, her naked thigh, free from her fluffy robe, over my legs, and I am all too aware of how naked she is under that robe. So much so that I can hardly think straight.

“Just think about it, Alex.”