I can’t believe I just did that. I didn’t really think. I just did. I wanted to do that for Alex. Just because I won’t do the deed, doesn’t mean we can’t have fun. And getting in his pants is different than him getting in mine.

Alex is under the covers when I come back in the room and he lifts the blanket so I can crawl in the bed. He pulls me close and I rest my head on his chest.

“You didn’t need to do that.”

“Are you complaining?” I grin.

His deep chuckle rumbles in my ear. “Ah…no.”

“You’ve been so understanding about my celibacy and I know you aren’t going to be comfortable, so I took pity on you.”

He stiffens, and I tilt my bead back to see his face.

“That was pity sex?”

“No, not like that.” I try to make light of it and kiss his chin. “I was teasing.”

I must have struck a nerve because Alex sits up. “I don’t need sex. I don’t need to get off. I’m not some guy who is going to complain about blue balls. I know what I’m in for with you Kelsey. Pity sex is not it.”

“I didn’t mean it that way.”

“How did you mean it?”

“I care about you. I’m attracted to you. I do want you. It’s obvious you want me. I wanted to do that. For you and me.”

Alex just stares at me.

“It felt good Kelsey, I am not complaining, but...”

My heart sinks.

“We aren’t there yet. We got carried away.”

I thought it was obvious that we were there.

“That was sex. I want intimacy.”

“We have been.” Or, maybe I don’t understand intimacy as I thought.

“Here.” He touches my forehead. “Here.” He puts a hand on my heart. “And here.” He drags a finger across my pulse. “Yes, I want you. But, I don’t want to rush learning all of Kelsey there is to learn by skipping ahead.”

So, I shouldn’t have given him a blow job? I just assumed that was the next step. Am I so out of touch by not being involved with anyone since I was sixteen? Hell, people practically have sex within a week of meeting. Or at least, that’s what it seems like. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, because I’m not.” He pulls me close. “This is about us, doing what is right for us. And as awesome as that was, I don’t want you to feel like you need to do something for me. I’m not going to get tired or pissed because I’m not getting my rocks off. Being with you, spending time cuddling, talking, all of it, is a lot more important than that physical.”

“So, no sex,” I confirm.

“No pity sex,” he corrects.

“But it wasn’t,” I begin to argue.

“It wasn’t.” He nods. “But, it was.”

“I don’t want to be a tease,” I finally blurt out. “Getting you all hot and bothered and then not delivering.”

This time he laughs. “You get me hot and bothered just by walking in the room. But, I’m a big boy and can take it. I know the rules, and I’m here because I agreed to them.”

“Then I promise not to do anything like that again.”

This time Alex groans. “That would be a pity too.” He tucks my hair behind my ears. “Sometimes I wish I, we, were born at a different time. When guys called on girls, they dated, and his big score would be a kiss at the door at the end of the night. Things moved slower before we were born. Couples got to know each other.”

At least is seemed that way if you watch old shows.

“I’m just as guilty. Or I used to be, but I like the idea of courting. Of getting to know someone. Really know them, before anything else.”

I didn’t think Alex could melt my heart further, but he did. And, I think I like the idea of being courted.