It’s growing dark by the time Christian and I get back to the brownstone. He was right. I don’t want to live in any of those apartments, and I’m pretty sure I still wouldn’t feel safe even if one of the guys were sleeping on the couch. Not that I’d impose on them like that.
So, it’s back to the computer and more searching.
“Alex come back?” Christian asks as we step inside.
I hold my breath, afraid he is here.
“No,” answers Dylan. “Nobody has heard from him since he walked out last night.
The tension I’d been holding because I’m not certain what will happen the next time I see Alex quickly turns to worry. “Nobody has heard from him?”
“Nope,” says Ryan. “And, he isn’t answering his phone or returning texts.”
My worry is quickly escalating to panic. What if something happened to him? He has no family, so there is nobody to call if the worst of the worst happened.
My heart’s beating hard against my chest, and it’s getting difficult to take a breath.
This is my fault. I shouldn’t have kicked him out. But, I was so angry and hurt.
Why didn’t he just go to his room or hang with the guys? He didn’t have to leave, and now something may have happened to him.
“Slow down, Kels,” Sean says with a chuckle.
“Slow down?”
“You just went from being pissed at Alex to him being murdered and buried.”
My face heats. I did kind of just do that.
“I’m sure he’s fine.”
“In the meantime, come eat,” orders Dylan.
My stomach grumbles, but I’m not exactly hungry either. How can I eat when Alex is out there, possibly injured, and nobody knows.
He just stares are me. “When is the last time you ate?”
I shrug.
“Dinner last night?”
“Um, probably.”
Dylan points to the chair. “Sit!” Then he marches into the kitchen.
The rest of the guys just look at me, expecting me to obey.
“Fine!” I roll my eyes and walk to the dining room table and sit just as Dylan brings out a plate. The spices from the enchiladas, rice and beans make my mouth water.
I guess I am hungry after all.
He brings another plate to Christian and then Zach pours wine for everyone, and they take a seat at the table and stare at me.
No. This isn’t uncomfortable at all.
“What’s going on?” Ryan asks.
And, there goes my appetite, but I force a bite down anyway. I do need to eat, and I have no food upstairs or a way to cook it since I don’t have appliances.
“She won’t tell me either,” Christian tells them.
“It’s between Alex and me,” I finally say.
They still stare at me.
“What did he do?” Ryan finally asks.
“What makes you think it was him. It may have been me.”
He snorts. “I don’t think you could do anything to upset Alex.”
“He’s got it too bad,” says Sean says. ‘So, how did he fuck up what you two got going?”
He did fuck up. Big time. But I’m not telling these guys. It’s not my place, and Alex is their close friend. Instead of answering, I take a drink of wine and then another bite of the enchilada. It practically melts on my tongue.
The front door opens and I stiffen, ready to grab my plate and a glass of wine and head upstairs in case it is Alex. I’ll be happy that he’s unharmed, but I’m not ready to talk to him yet. I’m not sure when or if I’ll ever be able to talk to him. His betrayal still cuts deep, and it’s almost painful to think about the lost letters.
Mia steps into the living room and then closes her eyes as she inhales. “Any left for me?”
I blow out a breath and relax.
“Sure, have a seat,” Dylan says as he goes into the kitchen.
As soon as she’s seated, she looks at me. “So, what did Alex do?”
Does she have ESP or something? “Why?”
“I just spent the day with him. He is crabby as hell, hasn’t slept and the only thing he’ll tell me is that he fucked up and is trying to make it right.”
“Well, he did fuck up,” I say before scooping up rice onto my fork.
“What did he do?”
Everyone focuses on me again. “It’s between me and Alex.”
“See, I knew it was him,” Ryan says after a minute, and I’m so glad they didn’t press for any more details.
“Why were you with Alex all day?” Zach asks.
“I was helping him understand the business and bookkeeping for the tattoo place.” Mia knocks on her head with the tip of her index finger. “Finally using that business degree I got.”
“You work in an office,” Sean reminds her.
“I’m a piddly-ass bookkeeper. All I do is crunch numbers and write checks all day. But today, I got to help Alex start a business plan.” She grins.
“He was there all night?” I find myself asking. At least he is okay, and that is all that matters. I might be mad at him, but I didn’t want anything to happen to him either.
“Yep. There’s an apartment upstairs that nobody uses. Said he’s going to hang out there for a few days.”
Crap! “Tell him to come home. I’ll leave.”
“I don’t think it’s you he is avoiding,” Mia says as Dylan puts a plate before her. “He knows the guys are going to give him shit too, and he’s still trying to fix the mess he made.”
They all look at me again with curiosity in their eyes.
“I’m not telling you guys anything.” With that, I get up from the table and go upstairs because I’m afraid I’ll tell them everything. Those letters are too private and personal, and even though Alex took them away, that doesn’t mean I want to tell everyone about them. Enough of my personal life is out there, and I don’t want to share anymore.