Thirteen

He’d really intended to comfort her when he pulled her into his arms. He really, really had. But then her soft breasts had pressed against his chest, her belly against his groin, her scent in his nostrils, and he was gone. Lost in the sweetness of Allison, yet again.

It was a pleasure he’d just come to know, and one that he wouldn’t leave easily.

Kissing her, touching her, his brain taunted him with fevered images of their times together. Of her beautiful naked body over him, beneath him, on her knees in front of him. Allison in a million different positions, her eyes lit up with passion as he drove into her, again and again.

His cock hardened against her, and she moaned into his mouth.

Her office phone rang, and they jumped apart like horny, guilty teenagers.

“Sorry,” he said, grabbing his hat as she rounded the desk. “I didn’t—sorry.”

“Don’t ever apologize for that,” she said, winking, as she answered the phone. “Allison Kurtz.”

She fell silent, then, listening to the voice on the other end. Nate walked over to her bookshelf, lining up the spines of several nonfiction books.

“What do you mean, left?”

Allison’s voice had a sharp note in it. Nate turned around, his shoulders prickling with warning.

“The general email box? Goddammit. Why the hell does this keep happening?”

Oh, no.

Allison slumped against the bank of windows behind her, one hand on her forehead, the other still holding the office phone handset to her ear. Her eyes were closed, her posture defeated, as she nodded soundlessly to whoever was on the other end of the line.

“Right. No, no, I get it. Not your fault. Well, I’ll look at it and try to figure out why the fuck my business is suddenly up and abandoning me.”

Allison said a few more things, but Nate wasn’t tracking them. He was gripping the bookshelf with one hand, flexing and releasing a fist with the other.

It wasn’t Burt. But the signs were there—someone was fucking with Kurtz and Company. Who the hell could it be? Allison had examined her business rivals, and Nate had grilled Burt himself. What the fuck could they do now?

He had to stop this. He couldn’t take seeing her this way—so bewildered and upset and unable to do anything about it.

The click of the phone in the cradle brought his gaze to her, but the sight of the shine in her eyes was what did him in.

“I lost another one,” she whispered, standing tall and proud and not bending, despite the disappointment and confusion that was so clearly coursing through her. “Sandringham Investments. Deb got the email notification on her phone while she was out with another client.”

“Do you have any more appointments today?”

She sniffed. “No, but I need to try to see if I can meet up with the director, find out why—”

“Come with me,” he said, grabbing her hand. Stopping by the coat rack by the door, he grabbed her jacket and helped her into it.

“Where are we going?”

“Anywhere else. You’ve been killing yourself over this situation for weeks now, and you need a break. Come on.”

He hustled her out of the office building, down into the parking deck where they climbed into his F-150. Once the engine was rumbling and they were buckled in, he nosed the pickup toward home.

There was only one way he knew of to get her out of that frame of mind, and he was determined to help her. If this was the only way? He didn’t mind.

At his house, he cut the engine right in front of the porch. Rounding the truck, he opened the door for her.

“I should have stayed at work for damage control,” she said, her shoes making taps on his wooden front steps.

“You’re just taking a lunch break. I promise I’ll get you back there for the afternoon. For now,” he said, opening the front door and letting her pass in front of him, “you let me take care of everything.”

She kicked off her shoes by his front door, padding barefoot into his house like it was the most natural thing in the world.

He liked that. Loved her in his space, acting like she belonged there.

She did. If Allison Kurtz belonged anywhere in this world, it was right beside him.

She collapsed on his couch, staring at the wall, not saying a word. He went into the kitchen and got two mugs down from the cabinet. One of them had been a gift from Allison about six Christmases ago.

“Save a horse—ride a cowboy.” There was a cartoon cowgirl on the side with long, fluttering lashes and plump pink lips. It was silly, the kind of thing you find at a hokey truck stop off the interstate. But she’d thought of him, so he’d kept the thing, and used it often. Usually, while wishing Allison had taken the sentiment to heart.

When the kettle he’d put on the stove started whistling, he poured hot water over the powdered hot cocoa mix in each mug. A brief stir later, and he brought them out to the living room.

“Careful, it’s hot,” he cautioned her as she took the cowboy mug.

She smiled a little as she noticed what her drink was in. “You kept this?”

He shrugged. “I keep everything you give me.”

Her gaze darted over his shoulder, toward his closed bedroom door. He knew what she was thinking, remembering.

God. He took a sip of his cocoa, the hot chocolate almost burning his tongue. What could he say that didn’t sound like a line? How could he tell her what was going on inside him, what had been going on for as long as he could remember, without it adding to her already stressed out situation?

“I do. Keep everything. The cards, the photos, the silly gifts, everything.”

She turned her head to look at him, and he realized he’d spoken aloud. But now that the words were out, the tenseness in his chest was easing, his posture was relaxing, and he found himself setting his mug down on the gnarled wood of the knotty pine coffee table and leaning forward to grab her free hand.

This was selfish. It was lunacy. She wasn’t ready to hear what was in his heart.

But he’d started, and the words were coming like a train barreling down a tunnel.

Inescapable.

“Allison, I—”

“What do you mean?”

She hadn’t planned to interrupt him, but the look on his face was too serious, too deep, too—well, everything.

The feelings in her heart were just becoming clear to her, but they still scared the shit out of her. She was afraid that she knew what he was going to say, even more afraid that she didn’t.

He gripped her hand tighter, the connection between them making her heartbeat loud in her own ears.

“I mean, since the moment I met you, our friendship has been special to me. More than special. I—Shit, Ally.”

He dropped her hand and stood, walking a few paces away as if the distance was necessary to help him collect his thoughts. She was grateful for it. The proximity between them, and not just the physical, made it hard for her to think. To plan. To understand everything that was happening in her life, and the effect Nate had on it.

Shit. Was her distraction with Nate part of what was robbing her of her own business?

Allison groaned and closed her eyes, rubbing her temples, which had just begun to throb. She’d let herself forget about the latest client disaster, lured in by the feeling of Nate helping ease her burden. But the problem wasn’t going away. And now? It offered a much-needed distraction.

“Nate, you’re incredibly special to me, too. But I’m not ready to do this right now.”

She opened her eyes and looked at him. He’d turned to face her now, his arms at his sides, his broad shoulders blocking out the light that was spilling into the room from the kitchen. She’d not bothered to turn on the lamp when she’d stumbled in there, so his face was difficult to see in the backlit conditions.

He stood there, silent, just listening. She sighed.

“There’s a lot going on for me, right now. You know Christmas is huge in my business. I do still have some projects running, and I really should be focusing on them right now. So, I think you should take me back to work. We can talk about all this” —she gestured to the air between them— “later.”

He walked toward her then. If he’d been a different man, his large frame standing beside her while she was seated would have felt looming or threatening. But this was Nate. Her cowboy. So, he sank down on the arm of the couch beside her, reached for her hand, and said only one word.

“When?”

Allison sighed, the warmth of his hand sinking into her, making it hard to breathe, to think clearly.

Her body was very clear on what it wanted, and it wanted Nate to take her to bed right fucking now. Her brain was halfway on board with that plan, knowing that the relief a screaming orgasm could give her right now was much better than trying to figure out the mess her business had become. But the part of her heart that wanted to make real, final sense of the relationship, and the part of her heart that was pants-pissing terrified to even consider the idea of a relationship, won out with a compromise.

“Christmas Eve. We can meet up Christmas Eve night like we usually do, and then we can talk about what all this is supposed to be. But until then, let’s focus on work. Okay?”

For a moment, she thought he’d say no. His clean-shaven, square jaw was tight. He’d removed his cowboy hat when he’d come in the door, so there was no hiding the deep, direct look in his green eyes. But then again, she couldn’t blame him.

Part of her wanted to get everything out in the open now, too. But the coward in her was too big, to powerful.

“It’s only a few more days,” she said, glancing away from him. “Just—give me a little time.”

He squeezed her hand, and she turned back to him in time to catch his nod. “Christmas Eve, then.” He slid off the arm of the couch and stood. “I’ll take you back to work now.”

But she didn’t let go of his grip. Her chest was roaring, her body insisting, and her poor, chickenshit heart couldn’t take it.

“Take me to bed first.”

His nostrils flared, just slightly, but he didn’t ask it aloud. He didn’t have to.

“I’m sure,” she said, standing and wrapping her arms around his waist. With her cheek against his chest, she closed her eyes. “I want you. No talking, just… be with me.”

His lips pressed to the top of her head, and it was at that moment she knew.

She loved Nate. Had never stopped, really, but now that she’d tasted a bit of what it could truly be like between them, letting him go was an impossibility.

She tilted her face up to him, and he captured her lips with his. Soft, insistent, hungry, his kisses stirred her body the way his steadfast loyalty and innate goodness had stirred her heart.

He ended the kiss and led her to the bedroom.

Sweet kisses and tender touches interrupted their removal of clothing, the brush of fingers on bare skin stoking their fires even hotter.

Allison let him take the lead. She needed this, needed him. Needed to surrender all control, to show him everything through her actions that she couldn’t say in words.

I love you.

I’m sorry.

I trust you.

I want you for more than just sex.

Be with me. Forever.

“Ally,” he said, combing her hair back from her forehead as he laid her in his bed, the tender sound of his voice making her want to weep. “Are you ready?”

Her body was afire with his touch, the strong heat of him pressing her down into the softness of his bed. Her blood was pulsing hot in her veins, her lower belly tight with anticipation even as her arms wound around his neck.

“Yes,” she whispered, burying her face in his chest as he entered her in one slow, smooth stroke.

He rose up on his arms to look down into her eyes as he moved. Slowly, tenderly, his hips advanced and retreated, and the decadent, delicious slide of flesh on flesh stoking her passion hotter.

Even as her body burned for him, the beautiful look in his eyes spoke directly to her heart. Their connection was more than his sweet invasion of her flesh, more than the hot, smooth strokes that were coming quicker now as their desire peaked.

There, in Nate’s eyes, was everything she had ever wanted.

And was too afraid to grasp.