December 1941
Kitty Callaghan got to her feet in the swaying train carriage and reached up for her case. She swung it down and took it through to the corridor, which was packed with passengers who’d had to stand all the way from London. Now they were almost into Lime Street Station. The journey had taken twice as long as it used to do before the war, but nobody was complaining. There had been many longer than this and Kitty reflected she was home earlier than she’d expected to be.
The train pulled up at the platform and she scrambled down, bowled along by the crowds disembarking. She had told nobody she was coming, deciding that she would surprise them, and after all there was always the chance that her leave would be cancelled at the last minute or the trains wouldn’t be running. She couldn’t bear the thought of disappointing them, not after she’d been away for the best part of the year. Gazing around the familiar station, she could see men and women in uniform hugging wives, girlfriends, children, husbands, boyfriends. Until recently that might have been her. But the person she would have wanted to welcome her back wasn’t here – would never be here again.
She straightened her shoulders in resolution. Even if this wasn’t how she had imagined her homecoming, she was still glad to be back, despite it being for such a short while. She hadn’t admitted to herself how much she’d missed everyone. She’d worried about Tommy, of course, wondering if he was behaving himself, worried he’d be ill again. Although Danny was old enough to look after himself, she’d worried about him too, as he’d been far from recovered when she’d last seen him. His letters assured her he was getting better by the day and that his new job suited him, so she’d tried to put his underlying heart condition out of her mind, as there was nothing she could do about it. All the same, she was keen to see him, to check for herself how he really was.
As for Jack – she had gasped with delight when she’d got the letter telling her he was getting married to Rita at last. It had almost distracted her from her own sorrow to hear such wonderful news. She’d been too young to understand what had gone on when the couple had first got together in their teens; she only knew she had missed her big brother when he’d moved away, and then Rita had married Charlie. Later on, when the age gap between herself and Rita didn’t matter any more, she realised how unhappy her friend was in her marriage and that she still carried a candle for Jack, even if she did her very best to hide it. She’d willingly helped her by passing on his letters – never judging them, as some self-righteous people might well have done. Now finally they were getting married. God knew they deserved their happiness after what they had both suffered, Rita in particular. Kitty hadn’t shed any tears over the deaths of Winnie and Charlie. She knew without any shadow of a doubt that Jack would make her friend happier than her first husband ever had.
Stepping out of the station entrance she gasped again, this time in shock. She had heard about the destruction visited on the city centre by the Luftwaffe’s raids, but nothing could have prepared her for the actual sight of it. It was like another world. She’d seen bomb damage in London, of course, but the harm done to Liverpool was like a dagger in her heart. A wave of deep sadness washed over her, that her beloved city should have endured all this. How would it ever be put back together? For a moment she shut her eyes, not wanting to believe that the familiar streets of her childhood were so drastically changed.
Then she strode forward, swinging her case, determined not to give in to the overwhelming emotion. She’d done enough crying over the past few weeks. All about her people were milling around, some in uniform, others in clothes that had last been fashionable in 1939, but none looked demoralised. These were the people of Merseyside, and while their city might have been flattened, they were not defeated. They were fighting back and refusing to be cowed by a powerful enemy. She was part of that fight, and she had her part to play now too: sister of the groom, close friend of the bride, celebrating their wedding with all the goodwill she possessed. Squaring her shoulders once more, she set off to find what public transport had survived the destruction so she could make her way back to Bootle.
‘Pass me that plate of sandwiches, pet.’ Dolly was in her element, organising the preparations for the wedding feast. Everyone had contributed their ration coupons to make sure there would be a proper celebration for Jack and Rita. She was determined that they should have a party every bit as good as the ones before the war. It would just take more ingenuity.
Luckily Tommy, Michael and Megan had arrived from the farm laden with parcels of food from Joan and Seth. As there had been no more raids over Bootle since October, Rita had decided they could risk coming home for a short visit, as long as they brought their gas masks. She dearly wanted her children with her when she said her vows to Jack. Tommy had threatened to run away and come along anyway if they’d not been allowed back. He was beside himself with happiness now that he’d be as good as properly related to Michael and Megan. While he’d taken full advantage of being the youngest by far of the Callaghan siblings, he’d grown into the role of big brother to the Kennedy children. Rita thought it was good for him – he was more responsible when he was looking after them or showing them what was what, and heaven knew he had been in need of calming down. No adult had ever managed to do it, but this new position of big brother was bringing out a whole new side of him.
Now she was being urged to sit down by Dolly. ‘You don’t have to make your own party food,’ she said. ‘You take the weight off your feet and stay out of the way. Save your energy for this afternoon. We’ve got it all under control, haven’t we?’ She turned to Violet and Ruby, who nodded without stopping what they were doing. Violet was cutting slices of bread and then buttering them with real butter, while Ruby was opening tins. After the dreadful events of Charlie’s return and the building collapsing, Rita had had to face going through Winnie’s things. To her surprise, there were boxes and boxes under the old woman’s bed, filled to the brim with luxury foodstuffs. It seemed she had never lost the habit of squirrelling tins away, and now they would all reap the benefit. Winnie would be turning in her grave to think her precious salmon was to be used for Rita’s second wedding, but Rita thought it was only justice. There would also be a generous amount of sherry for anyone who wanted it – Winnie had hidden the bottles behind her wardrobe. No wonder she’d been able to drink from first thing in the morning.
‘When are you going to start getting ready?’ Violet wanted to know. ‘You aren’t getting married in your old cardigan with patches on the elbow, are you?’
Rita shook her head. ‘No, although Jack said he’d marry me whatever I wore, he wouldn’t care.’ She knew he’d meant it as well. She was lucky beyond her wildest dreams to have such a man. ‘Nancy took me shopping – she knows all the best places in the city centre now. She found me a lovely frock and it wasn’t even too expensive. I’m going to borrow her green coat so I’ll look smarter than I have done for years. She’s coming over in a moment to paint my nails, she’s got a bottle of polish put away that goes really well with the pattern of the frock.’
‘I’m amazed she has the time,’ said Dolly. ‘She’s been busier than ever with the WVS now that the Americans are in the war good and proper.’ Just a couple of weeks ago the Japanese had bombed Pearl Harbor, taking everyone by surprise, and this had prompted the United States to declare war on Japan and throw its weight behind the Allied cause. Nobody was in any doubt that this would mean many more American servicemen and -women arriving in Britain, and that many of them would pass through Liverpool. Nancy would be right in the midst of it.
‘She couldn’t not come to the wedding, and she’s the best person to help me look glamorous.’ Rita stood and posed like a model. ‘I want to look right in all the photos, don’t I? And to do Jack proud, of course.’
‘I do hope Sarah will be back in time,’ Dolly said, wiping her hands on a tea towel. ‘She promised she would be here by midday. You know what she’s like, she always stays on if they’re short-staffed.’
‘She’ll be here,’ Rita said confidently. She wondered why she wasn’t more anxious, as there was still so much to do and the wedding was booked for three o’clock. Yet she felt completely calm. It was the exact opposite of when she’d married Charlie in such haste. Now she had no doubts at all. She adored Jack and couldn’t wait to be his wife, and she knew he loved her more than anything. Her children loved him too, and they would finally have the most wonderful man as their father. After everything that had happened, she didn’t mind if her sisters arrived late, or wearing the wrong thing. Such small details would not mar her joy on her wedding day. Nothing would.
As if on cue, the back door opened and Sarah came into the kitchen, her cheeks flushed by the cold outside. ‘Sorry I’m a bit late,’ she gasped. ‘Some silly accident down on the dock road. They asked me to help this afternoon but I said no.’
‘Well then, I am honoured,’ grinned Rita. ‘You never say no. Bet they were shocked.’
‘Just a bit.’ Sarah came across and hugged her sister. ‘How’s the blushing bride? Do you need any help getting ready?’
Rita shook her head. ‘No, as soon as Nancy gets here we’re going over to my place and she’ll doll me up. You just make sure you’re as gorgeous as possible.’
‘And you could fold some napkins if you’ve a moment,’ Dolly told her youngest. ‘We don’t want anyone saying we don’t do things properly round here.’
‘Where are the children?’ Sarah asked.
‘I wanted them out of the way,’ said Dolly honestly. ‘It’s lovely to have them back but they aren’t much use at a time like this. So Danny’s taken all three of them down to the victory garden. Not that there will be much to bring back at this time of year, but you never know.’
‘That’s good of him,’ said Sarah, knowing how hard Danny had been working recently. But he’d be pleased to see his little brother and spend some time with him. She just hoped they didn’t get too filthy down there. ‘Right, I’ll go and get changed out of my uniform, put on my glad rags and then grab an apron and help out.’
There was another sound at the door and she turned to open it.
‘That’ll be Nancy now,’ Dolly predicted, glancing at the clock. ‘She’s cutting it fine.’
But it wasn’t Nancy who stepped into the kitchen. For a moment nobody spoke and then they all exclaimed at once – except Ruby, who was confused.
‘Kitty!’ Rita ran across the room to hug her friend, who was still in her Wren’s uniform. ‘I didn’t think you’d be able to come! You should have said, we’d have sent someone to meet you.’
Kitty’s face glowed with happiness. How wonderful it was to be back, and it was all the sweeter for having been away for so long. Now it hit her just how much she had missed everyone, and this place in particular. She’d always loved Dolly’s kitchen, which had been like a home from home since she was a little girl. Dolly had promised to look after her when her own mother had died so tragically young, and had always welcomed her with open arms. ‘That’s why I didn’t tell you,’ she replied now, taking in Rita’s changed appearance – her loss of weight, but the deep contentment that radiated from her in a way she’d never seen before. ‘I wasn’t sure if I’d make it in time. It’s no trouble. I just dropped my case at home and thought I’d come across to see if I could make myself useful. But I can see you’ve got it all under control.’ She gazed at the spread on the kitchen table and every available surface: sandwiches of every sort, meat pies, vol-au-vents, and the luxury of tinned fruit in Dolly’s best cut-glass dishes.
‘Well …’ Dolly glanced at the clock once more. ‘Thanks to Joan and Seth, we’ve got eggs and butter, and everyone’s donated sugar, so … there might just be time. Kitty, would you make us a cake?’
‘Oh!’ Rita couldn’t help herself. The memory of Kitty’s famous cakes made her mouth water. Surely her friend would be too tired – if she’d just got off the train she must have been up at an unearthly hour.
But Kitty was taking off her jacket and rolling up her sleeves. While it could never be anything like the three-tiered iced confection she’d produced for Nancy’s wedding to Sid, back when the country had still been at peace, she was sure she could come up with something. ‘For Rita’s wedding? I’d love to.’
The parlour rang with laughter and the sounds of everyone eating, drinking and having a good time. Gloria’s parents had donated bottles of beer and the menfolk were cheerfully opening them. Someone had got hold of some whisky as well. Kitty’s cake stood in pride of place at the centre of the table. By a miracle it had been ready to come out of the oven just as they couldn’t wait to set off any longer, and she’d been relieved to find it hadn’t sunk in the middle when they’d returned from the civil ceremony. She’d surreptitiously lifted off the dome of netting and dusted it with a precious teaspoon of icing sugar, and tied a beautiful satin ribbon around it, which Dolly had procured from somewhere. Now it was ready for Rita and Jack to cut, once they’d finished receiving everyone’s congratulations. That might take a while, Kitty thought. She had never seen so many people crammed into the house. Some were in the parlour, some in the kitchen or narrow back kitchen, and some were even in the back yard, even though it was a cold day. Everybody, it seemed, wanted to wish the young couple well; Rita was well liked locally and the story of how she had tried to rescue Winnie and Charlie, despite him being a deserter and everything the pair had done, had gone around like wildfire. Of course Jack was known as a serving airman and people admired him for his daily dicing with death.
‘You’ve done them proud with that cake,’ Violet said in admiration, coming to Kitty’s side. ‘Rita’s made up about it.’
‘Well, you’ve made all those sandwiches,’ Kitty responded, ‘so you must take the credit for feeding all these guests.’
Violet smiled at the appreciation of all the work she’d put in; she knew that the fruit they’d grown in the victory garden had been turned into jams and chutneys which were being served alongside the rest of the food. She had good reason to feel satisfied. If only Eddy were here to share this moment with her. She would not cry or even give a little sigh – she couldn’t show her sadness in front of this, her new family, who had welcomed her so warmly and made her feel part of them. But how she missed Eddy, his quiet humour, his acceptance of her for who she was and not who she’d tried to make herself out to be. Gazing at Rita, who had one arm around Michael and the other around Megan, both of whom were dressed up in their very best, Violet wondered for the thousandth time if she would ever have a family of her own, the children that she longed for so keenly. Eddy would be such a good father, anyone could see that. He’d be patient and loving, firm when he needed to be, and fiercely protective, just as he was of her. There was no sense in dwelling on it though; she’d just have to look forward to his next leave, whenever that might be. He’d tried to come home for the wedding but had been turned down, much to his disappointment. They’d just have to wait to be together again, like so many couples all across the country.
Sarah came carefully through the crowd, carrying a tray laden with a collection of mismatched glasses full of sherry. She offered one to her sister-in-law but Violet declined, pulling a face.
‘Kitty, how about you?’ Sarah cautiously turned round. ‘Some of Winnie’s ill-gotten sherry? We might as well make the most of it.’
Kitty shook her head. ‘I know what you mean, but even the thought of Winnie cursing us from wherever she is now can’t persuade me to like the stuff.’ She gave a mock shudder as Danny came up behind them.
‘Here, Sar, I’ll take that. You don’t want “Winnie’s ruin” down your best frock,’ he grinned.
Pop, passing by, made a tutting noise. ‘Now let’s not speak ill of the dead.’ But he smiled to take the sting out of his remark, before moving off to open more beer.
Sarah turned gratefully to Danny. ‘Thanks. They’re heavier than they look and you’re right, I don’t want to spoil this on its first outing.’ She was wearing a beautifully soft wool dress in a yellow so pale it was almost cream, with delicate crocheted collar and cuffs in white. It suited her slender figure and set off her colouring, but it would no doubt show every mark. Kitty smiled at her brother’s chivalry. His manners had improved since she’d left home. Not for the first time she noticed how close he seemed to Sarah, but more likely than not there was nothing in it – Sarah was still very young, and from what everyone said was following in her big sister’s footsteps and devoting herself to nursing.
‘Frank should be here at any minute,’ he went on. ‘He couldn’t get the afternoon off, they were expecting something through that only he could deal with.’ He stopped, knowing that he shouldn’t have said even that much – but Sarah had a pretty good idea of what he and Frank did, and Kitty would be utterly trustworthy. As a Wren she must have to deal with complex levels of security all the time.
‘Is he bringing Sylvia?’ Sarah asked.
‘Don’t think so, she’s on late shifts this week,’ Danny said, failing to notice the expression on his sister’s face.
Immediately Kitty forced her smile to remain in place, so that her flicker of emotion would remain unseen. So Frank had a girlfriend – that should come as no surprise. He was handsome and clever, and had always been popular with the opposite sex; of course he would have someone by now. He’d been back on Merseyside for as long as she’d been away. The only surprise was that she hadn’t heard about it before. Of course there had been a time when such news would have caused her distress, but she reminded herself that she was a different person now, after everything Elliott had taught her, and also after the experience of living and training away from home. She wasn’t a silly kid longing for the gorgeous boynext-door to notice her. So when, a moment later, she caught sight of Frank’s head of molasses-coloured wavy hair above the crowd, she simply told herself it was the excitement of the day that made her heart beat a little faster, and that standing near the fire had caused her face to flush. She looked calmly at him as he made his way steadily over to them and wondered if anyone had tipped him off that she was here.
‘Kitty. You made it, then,’ he said, and she still wasn’t sure if he’d been caught off-guard or not, but he appeared pleased to see her. The atmosphere seemed to change imperceptibly around them, but she told herself she was imagining it. She reminded herself that she was done with all of that, and that there was no room to think of any future attachments; she needed to be free to go wherever she was posted. But, much as she tried, Kitty couldn’t stop the tremble that had crept into her legs, or fail to be conscious of Frank’s larger-than-life presence as they stood so near to each other. Frank was so close she could touch him if she wanted to …
Frank schooled himself not to react to Kitty’s unexpected presence. Of course he knew she’d been asked to come, but when nobody had heard from her he, like everyone else, assumed she would be unable to make it. Now here she was, as beautiful as ever, but with something else behind those lustrous eyes: a sorrow and maturity that was new. The loss of her doctor boyfriend must have hit her hard. It had only been a couple of months ago, so she must be deep in grief still. His heart went out to her and for a moment he almost said something that would give away how he felt – but then he reminded himself that she would be unlikely to welcome it when she was so recently bereaved. Besides which, he was now seeing Sylvia as often as they could manage, and if he wasn’t quite head over heels in love, he was most definitely ‘in like’. All their lives had changed and he had to accept that.
‘Wouldn’t have missed this for anything,’ she said lightly, and her voice was still as musical as ever, although maybe her accent wasn’t quite as strong. He realised he was staring and snapped out of his reverie.
‘Of course not. It’s good to see you,’ he replied, cursing himself for being so dull, but unable to come out with anything better. Just being next to her made him as tongue-tied as a schoolboy.
‘You too.’ She was just being polite, nothing else. He mustn’t monopolise her. So now he smiled again in acknowledgement of her presence, resisting the sensation that she was still so magnetic to him, and moved across to congratulate his sister and old friend, now his brother-in-law. Kitty, for all her beauty, could form no part of his future. He had to steel himself to accept it – although every cell in his body screamed against the idea.
Jack had chosen to get married in his Fleet Air Arm uniform, and had never looked more handsome as he stood with one arm around Rita, now that the children had run off to find more treats. Rita looked simply radiant. Utilising all her finest skills from when she had worked in George Henry Lee, Nancy had ensured that her big sister was as beautiful a bride as had been seen, war or no war. She’d found the dress in Lewis’s warehouse, a silk bias-cut with softly puffed sleeves, in a subtle but elegant pattern of corals, creams and greens, which suited Rita’s Titian-red hair and blue-green eyes to perfection. Everyone had pooled their coupons for it. She’d matched the coral shade exactly for Rita’s nail polish. Rita herself had one good pair of black shoes with heels that she rarely wore, as for nursing and working in the shop she needed flat, comfortable ones – and she had rarely done anything other than nursing or working in the shop for years. Nancy had given Rita a precious pair of nylons which one of the US engineers had given her, and Rita had wisely asked no questions about what exactly Nancy had done to receive such a valuable gift. There would be time enough after the wedding to quiz her wayward sister about her behaviour. Rita had taken off the fine new coat that Nancy had lent her, joking that with that, the dress and nylons, along with the shoes, she’d got the ‘something old’, ‘something new’, and ‘something borrowed’ – at which point Kitty had stepped forward and pressed a gold chain into her friend’s hand. Attached to it was a tiny locket with a blue stone.
‘There you are. Something blue. Wear it and you’ll have all the luck in the world.’
‘Really, Kitty? This is gorgeous. It’s so delicate.’ Rita held it up to the light to admire it.
‘It will suit you much better than me, I never have anywhere to wear it,’ Kitty assured her, bending the truth a little, as Elliott had given it to her, saying the stone echoed Kitty’s own dark-blue eyes. Part of her wanted to keep it as a memento of him, but in her heart she knew he had given her gifts far more precious than jewels: confidence, self-belief, a doorway to another world. It was utterly right that Rita should have the locket.
So now Rita wore it at her throat and it gleamed in the light from the parlour gas lamps. Frank noticed it as he made his way to the happy couple, and automatically registered its fine quality, but thought no more of it. He reached to shake Jack’s hand.
‘You’re a lucky man, Jack,’ he grinned, then his face grew more solemn. ‘Make her happy, won’t you—’
Rita interrupted before Jack could reply. ‘He’s going to, I’ll see to that. How could he do anything else?’ She gazed up at the man she loved more than any other, now her husband, and the proud expression on his face almost took her breath away.
Frank tore his thoughts away from Kitty and smiled at his sister, delighted and hugely relieved to see her so happy at last. He’d been worried for her, as had everyone in the family, and felt guilty that he couldn’t do more to help her, especially when Charlie upped and disappeared. Now things had finally come right for her. Impulsively he leant in and gave her a swift kiss on the cheek. ‘Congratulations, Rita.’ He could tell he was surplus to requirements and, having said what he’d wanted to say, he backed away again to talk to Danny.
Jack looked down at his bride, her face slightly flushed with the heat of the room and also with the excitement of the day. ‘Fancy stepping out for some fresh air?’ he asked quietly.
‘Good idea.’ Rita smiled apologetically as they edged their way through the scrum. She picked up Nancy’s lovely coat from the hook beside the front door and they slipped outside into the street, now nearly dark with the shortest day being so close. Seeking shelter from the biting westerly wind, they tucked themselves into the entrance to the alley that separated the Feeny household from the corner shop. Jack drew her to him and breathed in the scent of her beautiful hair, which shone in the remains of the twilight. They could hear the sounds of the party from the house and voices rising from the Feeny back yard.
‘So, Mrs Callaghan.’ Jack smiled as he said the name. ‘How did you like your wedding day?’
‘Oh, Jack.’ Rita hugged him close, almost unable to believe that it was true. ‘It was better than I’d ever hoped for. Standing there before the registrar, all our family and friends looking on, made me the proudest woman in the world. I have to keep pinching myself that it really happened. It was the best day of my life – well, that and when the children were born.’
‘I’ve never been so happy, Reet. I’ve wanted this for us since we were sixteen.’ He sighed in satisfaction. ‘I always knew we’d be together somehow, but I never guessed what you’d have to go through first.’ His voice changed, becoming charged with fierce emotion. ‘You’ll never suffer like that again, my darling. I’m going to make sure you’re safe and protect you for the rest of your life.’
Rita didn’t reply, just gazed up at him hungrily, and he brought his head down to hers and kissed her slowly and then with more passion, until they were leaning against the wall of the alley like the couple of teenagers they had been the first time they’d realised how they felt about one another. ‘Oh, I could …’ Rita shuddered in anticipation. What with her injuries when he’d last been home and him getting leave from only the day before the wedding, they had not had the chance to make love all the time they’d been engaged, with her a free woman desperate to make up for all those years they’d been apart. ‘I want you so badly, Jack Callaghan, and I’m not ashamed to say so.’
‘I should hope so too, now you’re my wife.’ He kissed her again, more gently this time. ‘But we’ve got all the time in the world now. We’ll wait a few more hours and then I can show you how much I love you in style.’
‘In style? What, have we got the room above the Sailor’s Rest?’ she asked. ‘No, it’ll be Bent-nose Jake’s, won’t it? Somewhere really classy.’ She laughed, sure that they’d be spending their first night together in Jack’s old room on Empire Street.
‘Even better.’ He couldn’t keep the delight from his voice. ‘Nothing but the best for you, Mrs Callaghan. We’re going to the Adelphi.’
‘What? Really? Jack, do you mean it?’ Rita almost let go of him in surprise. She’d never been into the hotel in all of her life. She’d heard all about it from Nancy and wondered at who would actually go to stay there in such opulence. She couldn’t believe it might be her.
‘Of course.’ He held her tightly again. ‘I love my old house, but I didn’t want us to spend our first proper night together with Tommy and Danny on the other side of the wall, or at yours with Ruby and the kids able to listen to everything. Why not treat ourselves? You’re the most beautiful woman in the world – why wouldn’t you want to spend the first night of our marriage in Liverpool’s finest? The perfect place for you, I’d say.’
‘Oh, Jack.’ She was speechless with love for this man. He would do anything for her, she’d known that for a very long time, but for him to have taken the trouble of such an extravagant gesture, such a luxurious treat – words could not describe her wonder at all she had to learn from him. ‘Jack,’ she said very quietly, ‘just stay alive, won’t you? I never, ever want to lose you.’ Suddenly she wanted to cry at the enormity of what losing him would be like.
‘You don’t get rid of me that easily,’ he said, holding her so passionately that they could barely breathe. ‘Now that I’ve got you, I’m never letting you go. The thought of you will always keep me safe and bring me home.’ He rubbed his face against her hair and then smoothed it back. ‘Come on, let’s get back to the party. We’re so lucky, you and I. There’s all those people come to wish us well and make sure we’re happy.’
Rita let him take her hand and lead her back to the front door. ‘We are lucky, Jack. We’re lucky because we found each other and we don’t have to hide it any more. Jack Callaghan, I love you to the ends of the earth and I’m the luckiest, luckiest woman alive.’