“Shall we stop for lunch?” Zary asked when we came out of a shop.
“Good idea. Kazmir is restless.” I turned my head, looking back from where we’d come, and my heart stopped. There, not twenty yards from me, stood the person I loved and feared equally. “Shiver,” I whispered.
He was here, watching me for God knew how long. As we walked toward one another, I looked for animosity in his eyes, but didn’t see it. Instead, they were full of love and longing.
“Losha,” he murmured when we were close enough that he could reach out and touch the side of my face with his finger. “How I’ve missed you.”
I wanted nothing more than to fall into his embrace, tell him I’d missed him too, and feel his lips on mine. Instead, I took a step back.
“What are you doing here, Shiver?”
“I would think that’s obvious.”
I raised a brow in a feeble attempt to pretend it wasn’t.
“I have so many questions,” he said, looking behind me to where Zary stood with Kazmir.
I wished I could lie and tell him the baby was Zary’s rather than mine, but it was too late for that.
“He’s beautiful, Losha. What’s his name?”
“Kazmir,” I whispered, suddenly overcome by an urge to shout at him to stay away from my baby as his eyes remained riveted on him.
Slowly, I turned, wanting to see what he saw. Did he remind him of anyone? Did Kazmir look like he had as a baby? I had no photos of myself as an infant to know if he resembled me.
“Shiver, I…”
His gaze rested back on me. He studied my face as he waited for me to continue. When I didn’t, he drew in a deep breath. “Is there somewhere we can talk?”
I looked to Zary.
“I can take Kazmir back to the house if you’d like,” she offered.
“No,” I said, not wanting my son out of my sight. “We’ll all go back to the house.”
Shiver nodded. “Wherever you’d be most comfortable.”
“Are you okay?” Zary asked when we returned to the car.
“I’m not sure yet.”
“Are you happy to see him?”
Was I? It was impossible to say. Too many emotions warred within me. As much as I longed to wrap my arms around him and never let go, I equally wanted to push him away and tell him never to contact me again.
“Losha, I—”
“I’m not ready to talk about it, Zary.”
“I just want you to know that neither Gunner nor I told Shiver you were here.”
“No? At least one of you must have told someone.”
I watched as my friend’s eyes grew dark. “I didn’t and neither did he. I am sorry he found you, though.”
“Don’t be.” I buckled Kazmir into the car seat and opened the front passenger door. “Listen. I’m not angry. This was inevitable.”
Zary nodded and started the engine. “I just have one thing to say, Losha. Kazmir resembles him.”
I’d seen it too. When I’d looked from his face to my son’s, it was as plain as day. My baby was the spitting image of his father.