When the pilot announced we’d land in under an hour, I found myself wishing our time in the sky could last a little longer. What I’d face once we arrived was an abyss of uncertainty.
Where would Shiver take me? How much time would he spend with Kazmir and me? And the worst question of all—who had planted the bomb that almost killed me, my baby, and my pregnant best friend?
Filled with trepidation, I made my way out to the main cabin with Kazmir in my arms.
“May I?” asked Pinch.
“Would you like to hold him?”
“I would.”
I handed Pinch the baby and watched as both he and Shiver played with him. Soon they had him in fits of giggles.
What would it be like if this was my life—Shiver and me, raising our son together with the love and laughter of his friends and mine? Right now, it felt like a dream. One that would be ending as soon as the plane landed.
Shiver sat in the seat next to me, and we both watched Pinch continue entertaining Kazmir. “Lost in thought, darling?”
I looked into his eyes. “Darling?”
Shiver smiled. “It’s what the duke always called the duchess.”
“I’m sorry about your father,” I said, reaching for his hand.
“Thank you.” He leaned in and kissed my temple. “I miss you so much.”
I rested my forehead against his. “I miss you too.”
I expected him to pull back, to make me look into his eyes, to ask if that meant I loved him, but he did none of those things. Instead, he didn’t even flinch. Not a single muscle moved. It was as though it was the most natural thing in the world for me to say even though I’d never said anything like it before.
Kazmir fussed, and Pinch brought him over to where I sat. Instead of reaching for me, he reached for Shiver. He settled on Shiver’s lap, head on his chest, and soon was sound asleep.
“Might have better luck fastening him in while he’s asleep,” suggested Pinch.
Earlier, when we were getting ready to take off, Kazmir had wanted no part of staying in his car seat, and it wasn’t me he’d reached for then either; it had been Shiver.
“He’s a sweet nipper,” Pinch whispered. “Wait until my father sees him. You’ll have a right child watcher with him.”
I smiled. How easy this camaraderie was. Apart from my friendship with Zary, I hadn’t experienced easy relationships with many people. Shiver was the next closest person I had to a friend.
“Shiv told you SIS doesn’t believe UR had anything to do with the bomb?”
The look on Shiver’s face said everything I needed to know. This wasn’t news to him. He’d known this earlier, when I’d asked him outright. He hadn’t told me then, and he hadn’t intended to. Instead, he’d lied.
He fastened the latch of the baby seat and slowly approached.
“Don’t,” I seethed, walking to the single seat next to Kazmir.
“Losha—”
“I said, ‘don’t.’” I looked out the window, afraid that if I looked at him, I’d cry.
“I’m sorry, I was going to—”
I spun my head and glared at him. “Tell me, Shiver? Was that what you were going to do? Were you going to admit that you lied to me when you finally got around to telling me something that directly impacts my life and the life of my son? Is that what you were going to do?”
I looked back toward the window, relieved when he didn’t say anything else. The easy peace that had blossomed between us for the briefest time was now shattered.
Neither Shiver, Pinch, nor I spoke again until we were in the limousine.
“Where are we going?” I asked when it looked like we were leaving London.
“To the abbey,” Shiver muttered.
“What did you say?”
He looked straight at me. “We’re going to Whittaker Abbey, and that is where you and Kazmir will stay until we’ve been able to ascertain who planted the bomb and ensure there is no further threat.”
“Like hell, we will,” I spat back at him. “Driver,” I said, opening the partition between us. “Please turn around and take me back to London.”
I could see the man’s eyes meet Shiver’s in the rearview mirror, and saw Shiver shake his head.
“Are you kidnapping us?”
“Losha, please. These antics aren’t necessary.”
“Antics? Did you say antics?”
Even Pinch cringed.
“That isn’t what I meant.”
“Really? In the same way that you didn’t mean it when you told me that they’d found nothing definitive about the bomb?”
“I told you the truth.”
“Leaving out the part about United Russia’s lack of involvement.”
“There was no need to worry you until we knew more. There still isn’t.”
This time Pinch didn’t just cringe; he groaned.