Chapter Twenty-One

 

Cain

 

 

There’s no pain greater than watching the woman you love in anguish because of something you did. I did this to her. I did it and I can’t take it back. Still, I meant what I said. There will never be an end to us because even though this situation is messed up, I believe we were supposed to meet. Ahmalee taught me about life – about love. She has shown me how to love. She has made me feel things I didn’t think I was capable of feeling. I’ve been single all my life – set in my ways – I know this about myself. I also know when to yield. I never thought I’d have to do that with a woman. I don’t do it otherwise. Never in business or any other aspects of my life. But for Ahmalee, yes. I’ll do it every time.

She asked me for space. I gave her a week, and I think that’s being generous. I’ve sent flowers, called every day and left messages. I’ve sat outside of her job and her house just to be near her. I’ve gone by the house to make sure all is in order when I know she’s at work. I make myself present. I won’t give up on the love of my life. Leaving is not an option – just like us not being together isn’t.

 

* * *

 

It’s one in the afternoon on a Saturday. I leave my hotel and drive to Ivy and Eden in desperate need to see Ahmalee but her car is not in its normal parking stall. Sonji and Jamie’s cars are there, but it’s not them I want to see. So I keep rolling, heading for Ahmalee’s house. When I get there, I don’t see her car in the driveway.

Thinking I probably missed her en route to the store, I turn around and drive back there, but yet again there’s no sign of my girl.

“Where are you, Ahmalee?”

I park and get out this time, deciding to talk to Sonji and Jamie hoping to get some insight on Ahmalee’s current thought process and whereabouts. I’m not sure what reaction to expect from them, or if Ahmalee has confided in them about anything concerning us.

I walk in and see Sonji first. She looks up at me, throws a hand up on her hip and says, “Hey, Cain. I mean, Abel. I’m sorry…what name are you going by these days?”

I deserve that. I don’t have the strength to argue with her about it. Jamie comes walking from the back saying, “Well, well, well—what do we have here?”

“Ladies, listen—before you go in on me, I know I messed up, but can you please cut me some slack? I love Ahmalee and I haven’t spoken to her in a week. I want to know how she’s doing.”

“Well, she’s hurt,” Jamie says. “What do you expect, Cain? You presented yourself one way and you’re someone completely different. We all thought you were a homeless man stalking us around here. I remember when we had first saw you lurking around the store. We wanted to call the cops.”

“Yeah, and Ahmalee told us not to,” Sonji chimes in to say. “She had your back before she knew who you were.”

Jamie continues, “And now look at this—turns out you weren’t homeless after all. You’re a multi-millionaire taking advantage of a small-town girl as sweet as Ahmalee. How could you do that? Do you know I had to beg Ahmalee for this job? I ain’t got no fancy college degree. I got a GED and a good heart. That’s all I got. And Ahmalee saw fit to squeeze me into a position at her small store just because she felt sorry for me. Ahmalee’s a good woman. Been single for so long, me and Sonji thought she was a nun. We thought she was crazy when she told us how she felt about you, but I wasn’t surprised. You know why, Cain-Abel? Because Ahmalee has a heart of gold. She didn’t look at you and see a bum. She looked at you and saw a man who needed help, and you shamefully took advantage of that.”

“I know,” I say, riddled with guilt. “What I did was wrong, but—what am I supposed to do? Walk away, and it’s over? I can’t do that. Ahmalee is my wife. I just—I want to right my wrongs. I did what I did, but I love her.”

“Do you really?” Sonji asks.

“Yes.”

“How much of your life with her did you film? Did you film when y’all got married? How far did this thing go?”

“No, I didn’t film our marriage. I stopped the moment she told me I could live in the camper. I haven’t recorded anything since. All I want now is the chance to make it right, but I can’t do that if I have no idea where she is. Do you know where I can find her?”

Both women cross their arms and narrow their eyes. They care about Ahmalee. They got her back and they want to protect her. I say, “I’m not a person Ahmalee needs protection from. I’m her husband. I love her. I’ve apologized, I’m truly sorry for what I’ve done, but I need to know where she is so I can fix this.”

They’re still staring – not saying a word.

“Did Ahmalee tell you not to tell me?”

“No.”

“Then where is she? Give me something.”

Jamie says, “Give us a minute.”

She walks to the back room to confer with Sonji, I suppose, and they come back out after a few minutes. Sonji says, “Okay, we talked it over and agreed that you seem sincere. Ahmalee went to Charlotte for the weekend.”

“Why? She knows I’m not there.”

“Then maybe it wasn’t you who she wanted to see,” Sonji says.

Jamie adds, “She said she wanted to meet your parents—to see where you work. Where you live. She’s trying to figure out who you are. Do you blame her?”

“I don’t.” My heart stills. I’m frozen. I can only imagine what she’ll think when she discovers how I live, and if she’s having a conversation with my parents, what exactly are they telling her about me? I’m tired of her getting second-hand information. She needs to know everything from me.