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Blue
I awaken to a god-awful smell and a feral taste sitting in the back of my throat. As I open my eyes I’m blinded by the most intense light. Is this Heaven? Looking around all I see is white walls and flickering lights overhead. No not Heaven, still here, in Hell. I know because I’m bound to a bed. If I were in Heaven I wouldn’t be bound now, would I? Shit, let’s not even get shit twisted, I so ain’t going to Heaven.
“Blue, stay focused!” My good angel says as my naughty one pipes up, “Well, it’s a bit fucking hard with this pounding inside my damn skull.”
A door opens as a little old lady wearing a pink nurse’s uniform walks in. Oh fuck, I hope this isn’t the nut home. That would be a tad too amusing if he’s shipped me off to a psych ward. That would be ONE to Blue and a big fat ZERO to Viper, the douche bag. I knew he couldn’t handle my fucked up!
“You’re awake, dear. I’m so pleased, I was starting to worry that they gave you too much.” Patting my arm, she peers into my eyes, checking for what I don’t know. Lifting up my arm she dabs some liquid over the tiny needle holes that seems to graze my arms like the stars in the night sky. “You will see that I have dressed you in the attire that’s needed for you tonight dear.”
Confused, I pull my eyes from her graceful face and my mind from the rambling thoughts of where this woman is from and why she is caught up with this lot. I see what I have on, and I choke on the bile that rises in my mouth from the sight of me lying so white and cold against the crisp bed with black binds; the red of the bra and panties really pops in here.
“Like fuck” I snap out shaking my head as my good Angel passes the fuck out and the bad one sits there filing her damn nails.
“Oh dear, I think it’s best for you and your safety that you do as you're told from now on out, you have caused quite a stir in here of late. It’s not good for a lady to be defiant.” Her tone is as smooth as silk. My eyes bulge out as the vein pops in my forehead and I see red!
“A lady do I look like a fucken lady to you love? Um no I’m not I don’t do what I’m told, never have never will and I sure as shit won’t be starting now.” Turning my head over to where she has moved to, I see then the one thing my body craves but my soul is begging not to be let back in, shaking my head I start screaming out a sharp shrill, “NO, NO please DON’T,” as she walks over, pushing the plunger up and the fake love and forced allusion spills out from the tip of the needle making my mouth salivate as I know how good it tastes.
“Now, now dear it will be ok, I gave you a choice. You chose to snap back, so this is the only way the men can get you to do as you're told. This is the way it has to be.” Gripping my arm, she ties the rubber strap around it as she slaps a finger over to raise a vein. “Please, please don’t do this, please,” I’m begging. “I’ll do, I’ll do whatever they want just don’t fill my body with that! No more I can’t take any more.”
Tsking me, she looks over with the look of fake love in her eyes. “Darling you had your chance, and we both know that you won’t, you're far too strong-willed to bow down, I did want to try though,” she says smoothly like a hot cocoa on a winter’s day.
“BITCH” my bad angel spits. My thoughts exactly. Thrashing my head and body, pulling hard on the binds till I feel them bite into my skin, hissing air through my teeth, I pull harder pushing down the burning sting of skin breaking as I try with all I have to pull free. “I’ll stab you in the fucking throat with that if you bring it near my arm, lady, don’t think I fucking won’t.”
Laughing she throws her head back. “Darling, we both, know that’s not going to happen, maybe I shall give you two vials? One of coke and one of heroin. That will put out your damn fight long enough for the men and their activities they have planned for you this evening.”
My eyes bulge out from my head. “That amount will fucking kill me! Like hell, you're doing that.” I spit at her pulling with all my might. One hand snaps free, and the hot surge of ripped flesh hits all of my senses as she slams the first needle into my vein. I feel the pop of skin, and the surge of coke as it hits my bloodstream. Instantly I’m awash with the feeling of nothing but floating. Dangling my free arm from the bed I wiggle my fingers a little, keeping my eyes on her as she turns to grab the next vial. Slowly I bring my hand over to the other, pulling on the binds, releasing my other hand, I sit up. She turns as the movement catches her eye and a small gasp escapes her lips as I bring my arm up and around her neck, snaking her body into mine. I grab the needle with the other hand and slam that fucker into the main vein in her neck. She goes limp in my arms and, as her eyes pop out, a strangled scream leaves her body. I drop her to the ground, she’s done. Breathing in and out fast and heavy I blink back the fuzz filling my eyes, wishing for the drugged lace to pass, not to wash over me. I need a clean mind to get the fuck out of here and fast.
Untying my ankles, I step down from the bed, wobbling a little. Bracing myself, I step over little miss pink searching the tin tray and cupboards for a counter drug to help clear this wrilling coke infused haze. Nothing. I can't find anything but drugs. Stepping on my tip toes I slip over to the door, cracking it open a bit. I look out up and down the hallway, no-one is in sight. Now how the fuck do I get out of here? Which way do I go? Playing ‘Eeny meenie miny mo.’ I land on the right. I feel my heart
rate spike as the blood thumps in my ears. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up and I feel sick, hot, clammy and thoroughly wasted. Trying as hard as I can to walk at a quick pace, my body fails me. The mixture of adrenaline and coke has me wobbling, pinging from one wall to another, like a damn ping pong ball. I hear voices coming from somewhere in front of me, or behind me. I’m unsure. My eyes glassy with the fuzz of a drug my body wants to dance with, but my mind does not want to.
“Just ride it out. Relax. Enjoy the buzz.” My evil angel slurs out looking to my right shoulder where the good one usually sits with pure disbelief on her face. But the bitch is passed the fuck out. Great! You’re no help. I push past the desire to dance. I need out! I need air. I’m walking close to a fire I can feel it, I hear the voice I’ve come to seek in the dark.
“Turn left, Blue, then right take the second door.”
Doing as she says with a smile forming, I can taste it! Freedom! It’s a door away. Pushing the door open, I fall through leaning up against the inside trying to catch my breath. I hear footsteps on the other side stomping down the hall. The familiar voice greets my ears, my skin crawls at the sound. Angel is coming to me, standing in front of me with an Angel army flanking her sides. He’s coming RUN, Blue, RUN now!”
Just like that the door slams open. Screaming I run for the stairwell taking two at a time. I fall misjudging the steps and the cold metal stabs into my kneecaps. Yelping at the pain I scramble to my feet just as he grabs me from the base of my skull. “Junkie love” he spits out. “Where you off to darling?”
Pulling me back, the pain of my hair ripping out from my scalp has tears welling in my eyes, I can’t let him take me back. It’s fight time. Flinging my hand up to my bun I pull my blade down through the tight mess, flicking the blade out spinning on my heel, I look deep into his eyes. “Me?” I ask. “Well, I’m fucken out!”
“Baby you’re not going anywhere,” he laughs. “I haven’t even started to punish you, yet we are just warming up.”
I square my shoulders, blade held firm in my sweating palm. “Consider this my fucken notice.” Slamming my blade into his gut and pulling it out, I slice it down the side of face and to his throat all the way to his collarbone. He falls back down the stairs a look of pure horror laced with rage in his eye, blowing him a kiss I run up the stairs.
Once at the top, I look down to the trail of blood and where he should be but he’s gone. Looking around frantically, I panic, the blade still in my hand. Shutting it I put it back in my hair, breathing in and out through my nose nice, pushing my way through the door the bright daylight hits me hard, my eyes burning with the intensity, slam shut. Cracking them open bit by bit, I try to adjust to the sharp rays until slowly I have them open all the way. I try to see where I am. I’m on a roof. A fucking roof! Are you kidding me? Looking over the side I see bikes and cars everywhere, and a consent thump, thump of music, laughter and voices. I round the edge of the building looking down here I can see into the complex below through the glass roof. The whole building is surrounded by glass and I can see the entire place. It’s just a glass cube with a stage that wraps all the way around these men sitting at tables in the middle, clear perspex cages hold dancing women. Sliding down to my knees I breathe in What the fuck do I do? What is this place?
I can’t get down this way. I’m going to have to go back the way I came and find a new way out. Backing away from the ledge I move back over to the door. So many things are swimming around in my head and, before I can even pull the door, it slams open. smacking me square in the face. “AHHHH!” I scream out. Stunned I stumble back, shaking my head trying to peer out through squinted, watering eyes that are not only still hazy from the coke but now glassed over with water. “FUCK,” I hiss out, wiping my eyes. I catch the guy coming at me and I duck. I round back on him laying my heel into the back of his knee he falls forward.
“Fucken bitch.” He spits out, flying back around with his fists up.
I laugh at him. “Hit me with your best shot fuck bag.” I roar, anger pumping through my body.
Looking at me with hate in his eyes he laughs flying at me with a right hook and then a left. Stepping back, I miss the right but get clipped with the left, my reflexes are a bit off from the coke swirling in my blood. Regaining in my footing I step to the side as he comes at me again, whirling my fist around I clock him around the back of his head, I follow him as he lurches forward then I finish with a knee to the jaw and a jab to the guts, falling to his knees this is my chance I whip out my knife lunging the blade at him aiming for his neck. He flicks the dirt and sand up into my eyes I’m blinded it stings and burns my eyes, water caking like shit, rubbing them I trip losing my footing, stumbling I feel him punching me in the stomach, then his fist hits my face. I feel my body falling backwards, hitting my head hard on the ground it snaps back up to be greeted once again by the forceful blow of his rage popping my eye socket. I feel the crunch of knuckle breaking bone, another one hits me in the nose which snaps back, blood spilling from it down my face, the warmth hitting the sides of my neck as it runs down. His laugh vibrates through me as he straddles my body. The do or die adrenaline courses through me. Pushing down deep past the pain and blood I wipe my ankles and leg up wrapping it around his torso. I flick him hard and fast, catching him off guard he falls taking my body with him using his body weight to pop us both over. I flick up on his back getting him in a chock hold, squeezing with all I have I feel the sharp intake of air he tries to squeeze through his windpipe that I’m restricting. I feel him waver under me, tightening my grip I wiggle my body to gain more leverage on his throat, before he can pass out I see two new guys approaching us with Viper right behind them limping, a bandage tied around his neck and stomach blood spots seeping through. I do not show them my fear, instead I smile at my handy work.
“Boys how nice to see you,” I smile out at them.
“Always so smart, junkie love.” Viper pushes out, the pain dominant in his features.
“I aim to please.” Looking him dead in the eyes, I whip my arm and with a quick snap of my wrist and a devilish look at Viper I snap my hostage’s neck, pushing his now lifeless body from mine I flick the strand of hair that has slipped from my bun over my face. Standing, I curl my finger as a gesture to the men to come at me.
“Who’s next.” I mock. Raising my eyebrow, I look them over. They both look at Viper who barks, “Knock her ass out then bring her down to the red room. She will learn her fucken lesson this time, don’t let her escape!”
Smiling at him I kick up some dust, side stepping and spinning round I jump up and lay a haymaker right on Viper’s chin. Landing I spin back round to fight off the ugly mugs coming at me, fists up and ready. Lurching forward I slam my fist into one cheek before pulling back. I’m heading for the other when I’m caught off guard by the splitting pain kissing my temple as cold steel whips into me. I feel the trickle of blood graze the side of my face as the light begins to fade, the sky spins above me. All I hear as I fall is. “I always win, junkie love. Fill her up with a mix of both; she will dance tonight.”
“She lusts for a saint, yet she bleeds for a sinner,
Dancing in red for you see, I am the winner.”
I hear him saying this over and over above me as I swim inside this sweet wonderland not wanting to leave, it is warm in here, soft and delightful. I float and don’t feel a thing. Not even the cold calloused hands of this snake. Tonight they don’t make my skin crawl nor does the potent tang of his whiskey laced lips bring up bile from my stomach. For tonight I’m oblivious to all that is surrounding me, for he and his merry men have broken through and claimed my soul with the kiss of drug-laced needles. In both arms they filled my veins to the point of delusion, hysteria, and peace, for I am now lost in the sea of souls, living down in her depths of hell feeding off the titbits of coke, heroin and the sweet, sweet, non-vaccine. I’m bleeding from the inside out. I should have killed the scum bag when I had the chance, smiling I look up at him through hooded eyes he’s watching me closely.
“Junkie love, I see you’re free.”
Sliding down the side of the wall into a jelly-like state I look back over to him and his man with the skull mask. “Free... mmmm for how long?” The man with the skull mask picks me up looking back over at Viper. A snap of light pierces my eyes blurring my vision as a camera sound snaps, popping in my head like a wine bottle cork, mmm wine why do I want wine?
“Can I have wine?” I drool out to him as I’m led away.
“OH, baby you’re going to get more than wine tonight.”
I like the sound of that dripping from his lips as the mask man lifts me higher in his embrace. Every step he takes has his muscles flexing against my body doing things to it, I lick my lips as I stare at his strong angular jaw. He is clenching it, bringing my fingers up to it I run them along his jaw, down his neck, flicking what I notice as painted red nails.When did that happen. I am finding it hard to focus on one thing. My attention is brought back to his man as my fingers reach the top of his shirt, trailing my fingers over the warm skin underneath a low growl escapes his body which quivers against my hand.
“Be careful lass you’re playing with fire you don’t want to get burnt.” His cold, harsh voice should be a warning bell to me but oh no not tonight it ain’t.
“I like fire.” I say slapping his tight jean-clad ass, his Irish twang gets my panties wet. Grunting he looks deep into my eyes stopping my heart with the stare of death I see in them, so fucking hot.
“Not this fire you won’t.” A cold chill erupts over my body as he pulls my hand from his shirt and just drops it, so it dangles to the side of my body. Those eyes haunt me as he carries me up the dimly lit corridor. “Where are we going?” I ask slurring.
“You’ll see” is all I get from the masked man with the sound of home laced to his voice.
Rounding the corner he stills, my body rises and falls with his breathing. Punching a series of numbers into a pin pad the door clicks, he pushes it open, we walk in over to a box shadowed in black lace. Placing me down next to it on a cold shiny black stage, I catch my reflection as I look down. I’m a hot fucken mess. Sadness swims in my eyes bringing with it disgust in my throat, rising my head up I watch him with curious eyes.
My heart rate spikes. As high as I am I know this isn’t good. I’ve been here before dancing for love, dancing for the pure high to sink down below into her oblivion, pulling out a cold sliver box from under the stage he has me sitting on, and pinging it open I see it holds the silver brush, silver compact powder box, the pillbox, the red lipstick and the shiny beautiful silver needle filled with a mixture I know too well. It has my mouth salivating and my body quivering for her sweet embrace, not taking my eyes away from the needle, the masked man brushes my hair out into nice long strokes falling in waves around my shoulders tickling low down my back, smiling at the movement I lick my lips.
“You like that or is it the needle that has you hot?”
Pulling my eyes up to meet his I suck my bottom lip into my mouth slowly rolling my eyes as a small sensual moan escapes me, he brings his hands up brushing my hair from my shoulders brings his lips down to the top of my collarbone grazing his teeth lightly over it, sucking in air my body intensively leans forward into him, pushing my mouth to his ear. “Give me just one sweet taste, and I shall be your very own private dancer,” I whisper out over him.
He groans pushing the bulge of his length which is straining against his tight jeans into my cracked open thighs hitting the sweet spot between them. Grinding forward my eyes head down to the needle, bringing my arms up I wrapped them around his neck intwining my fingers locking them in place. He snakes his hands under my ass lifting me up. I wrap my legs around his waist grinding up and down as his mouth and teeth find my bare neck sending sweet shivers down my body, my eyes roll back in my head as he tastes my skin, murmuring against my sweat-laced skin. “Still so sweet after all these years, baby?”
Stilling in his grip my mind travels back to where he has just taken my mind, a memory wanting to break through. The thirst for drugs is so strong. I’m drowning in the dire need, lady in red is coming out in all her finery and I can’t stop her. I know that voice damn this body is failing me, my mind is a blur. It’s getting harder to breathe as he assaults my body with his hands and the hot lashing of his tongue as he glides it all over my body. Harder to not go there, holding her back breaks me. I’m not strong enough, she's coming throwing my head back she’s here.
Looking deep into his eyes I mouth, “This isn’t my time, there is no going back, this is now the end of me and everything I’ve known.” smiling he throws me down onto the stage hard, before lowing himself over me, pushing the air from my lungs as he lays down on top of me, his muscles flexing, his length ever presence stabbing into my entrance. Bringing my earlobe into his teeth her bites down hard. I suck in air, rising my hips he lets go mouthing into my ear.
“Welcome back, our very own junkie love. Oh, baby how we have missed you. Tonight, you shall make a lot of men happy.” He laughs out a sick cold evil laugh that sends chills out over my damp skin. My eyes glaze over as I feel the tell-tale sting of the cold needle piercing my skin. A gasp of pleasure escapes my lips as its contents surge into my blood. Eyes rolling back I grind up hard onto his cock as I hear him groaning and the zipper of his jeans undo. Bringing his sweet lips to mine, his tongue darts into my hungry mouth just as he is about to enter my waiting body, It seems as though I am watching from high above, sitting in the rafters with angel and her army disgusted at myself. I shake as Viper walks in pulling skull mask number one back hard, forceful. He stumbles falling onto his back, skating a few feet on his back Viper stalks over slamming his black boot into his throat. Standing down hard on the man neck as his eyes bulge and the air is forced out in one foul whoosh.
“Did I say you could fuck her? NO!” He screams out his anger vibrating off him all the way over to where I lay. “I fucking said, and I repeat, ready her and fill her with the drugs, not your fucking cock. I haven’t had my fill of her ass yet, nor have I shown the great men of this town just how wonderful Ireland’s Celtic Goddess is.”
Pulling myself up to my elbows, I watch as men file in. Viper releases the masked man. I know him I’ve tasted him before. Looking up I see her then. Her light surrounding the rafters with her army and what looks like a shaking me, what the fuck, these are good drugs if I see myself up there, I mouth up to a sane, safe, clean me.
“Please love me when I’m gone, hold me tight, tell him I tried to be all he needed me to be.” A sinker comes from the evil me on my shoulder as a whimper escapes the good me on the other side looking back up to a clean me. Her eyes are crying for my soul that has gone I’m now drug blind. A shadow falls in front of my eyes blocking out the vision of me with the Angel army I wish they had stayed away. I so didn’t want her, Knox’s Angel, to see me this way. Dirty! Placing his cold palm behind my neck and bringing my face up towards his hand that is in a fist, I see the pile of pills as he opens it. I instinctively pull back, fighting I buck my body, pleading.
“No, No, Please NO more.” I cry out my voice a hoarse sound that my ears don’t recognize. The evil me throws back her head laughing rubbing her hands together. Yes this is just what we need. Snapping at her I try to get her to see reason. NO IT’S NOT! The good me just cries looking at me It's OVER she says as he slides the pills of love down my throat chasing them with the ice-cold bottle of water, it seems like days since I’ve had this grace my lips, no longer am I scared, for I am now too far gone to care.
Picking me up in his arms is the hold of the Viper his smell pulls me back in, nudging my nose into his neck I hear him whisper into my hair. “Welcome home baby,” placing a kiss, on the top of my head, he grabs a handful of my hair pulling it back hard, and the sharp the sting sends pain floating down my body.
“Now you’ll dance,” he spits at me as he drops me inside the black laced box. “Then, junkie love, you shall feast upon the dicks of men, saving me for last.” Licking his lips he leans down pulling my head back tight to expose my throat. He bites hard into the flesh, I feel the pop of skin as his teeth break through, blood spilling into his mouth. He brings a hand to the inside of my bra pinching and rolling my nipple through his fingers, my head lolls back, my heart beats like it's sure to explode and my eyes roll back as I whimper.
“Save me please!” To no-one really. There is no hope for me, it’s done. This selfish bastard’s reflection is all I see as I say goodbye to the Blue I re-built and hello to the Blue that he had photographed in his eyes, full of drugs and lost hope.
Looking into my eyes he sneers, “Don’t disappoint baby.”
Watching him stalk away I do what I do the best. I fake it and dance as the roll of laughter and husky voices fill the room, squaring my shoulders flicking my hair back as the lace moves its way slowly up the box SHOW TIME BLUE show them what they wanna see what they have paid for.
My music starts Tinashe – 2 On ft. Schoolboy, my body knows just what to do like it was just yesterday I was here doing the same thing but on a stage in Dublin.
All eyes are on me as I’m introduced over the sound system. My music starts dimming out slightly before it’s cranked up a few notches, pushing my palms up against the walls of my perspex cage, I stare out at the men hungry for it. All eyes are on me as my hips slowly start to sway and my head rolls back, exposing my neck. My long red locks trailing down my spine. I roll from side to side not ever once allowing my eyes to leave Viper’s. This is what he wants. His dirty dancer. This is just what he will get, all five fucking fucked up foot of me. I slide down the wall, flicking my knees out, exposing my red lace panties, which are dripping wet with the juices of fake love and broken dreams. Bringing my hands up to my bra, I pop just one breast out to the gasps of the men, ooooh's and ahhs follow as two more men in skull masks walk up, flanking either side of my cage. They roll it forward so the men below can get a better look at my dancing body spinning round. I eye the masked men, popping back down. I twerk up hard against the clear wall as the door to my cage pops open, a small gush of air hits my body as skull mask number one enters, placing cold metal handcuffs on either wrists linking to a heavy cold chain. Pulling me down and outflanking my sides they order me to dance, grinding against the pole in the middle of the stage, the coldness bringing a soothing sensation over my hot body. I throw my head back as my eyes close over the familiar heat of her hold taking hold, sucking the air from my lungs, pulling me towards them to and fro, they pull and push me in the direction they want me to go, a chained puppet on show. I’m thrown down from the stage to another masked man awaiting me, he spins me in the air. “Look what we have here, the very own Celtic goddess of Dublin on our sweet soil dancing for your pleasure and entertainment.”
Placing me down into a pit of prowling hands, the smell of men’s sweat mixed with cigarette smoke and whiskey has me gagging. Hot hands grab me from behind popping the clip holding my bra in place. It falls to my feet as the air meets my nipple, then the ripping sound as they rip my panties from my body meets my ears, before they are pushing me forward, barking at me to walk and dance through your admirers, junkie love. “Show them just what they paid for,” Viper’s sick voice swims in my ear.
Spinning back round on the sick voice behind me I grab his cock in my hand. “Why don’t you dance with me?” squeezing hard, I wiggle my eyebrows at him full of courage and sass just the way I like it. This is pissing him off, me playing. It’s not a side he's used to and seeing the anger swim in his eyes has me laughing in his face. Looking at him square in the eyes my grip tightens on his length that, I feel, despite his want, is going thicker and harder at my touch. Pulling him in close so my lips are mere centimeters away from his whiskey laced breath, I hiss.
“Don’t tell me how to do this! I’ve been here before,” I gasp as he grabs me hard behind my neck and pulls me in deep to his shoulder lowering his mouth to mine.
“Let go and fucken dance for me, junkie love, just for me!” pulling me into his embrace, he sits down on a chair in the middle of these dirty men. My body straddle his as my breasts meet his gaze and my body tingles as my skin crawls. I have no choice; his fingers dig into my hips pinching the skin between them. Pain shoots through me, filling me with fire as I grind my hips over his crouch. Placing my hands on his shoulders pushing myself and my body in and out to the beat over his own greedy body. Looking over his shoulder I see the greedy, needy eyes of the men watching me. Some are smoking cigars and some are licking their lips, while another rubs the crotch of the waitress, even the solid like stone watch as Dublin’s finest starts to feel the music and opens right up like the fucking butterfly they paid to see. Dancing over his lap, pulling his face into my naked body, grinding my clit up over the cool metal of his belt buckle, I suck air into my tight lungs, falling deeper and deeper into this intoxicating trance of sex and drugs.
I lose myself, sitting down on his lap, I throw my head back, and my arms follow my body down to the ground. Placing my palms on the carpeted floor my red locks fan out around me as just the top of my head rests on the ground. Shutting my eyes, I push my feet up onto his thighs, arching my back, I push my sweet spot throbbing between my legs to his mouth as he brings his teeth down into me, biting hard. I crumble and sub come to him. I have given into the hands of the Devil. He grabs my ass, pulling me hard into him sucking, biting, and licking, pushing his tongue in and out of me, it sends small quivers out over my needy body as the apex of arousal leaves my body. Flicking my legs from him, I roll my body to the ground. Laying on my back with my legs crossed, I look up to his mouth glistening with my sweet release, my eyes hooded, he stands to reposition his bulging cock licking his lips he clears his throat.
“Gentlemen, I hope you enjoyed the reincarnation of the Celtic goddess tonight, please sit back and enjoy the rest of the festivities we have planned for you.” He picks me up from the floor, throwing me over his shoulder and walks out to the gasps of shock and disappointment on these men’s faces, winking at them I mouth,
“See you around boys,” “Shut the fuck up, Blue.” He barks at me. Walking from the dark room into the fluorescent lights of the hall hurts my eyes as I try hard to adjust them. I wanna see where the fuck he’s taking me and how to get the fuck out. Long hall after long hall, corner upon corner, this place is like a massive maze. Way too rich for Viper’s blood. Laughing to myself I feel his grip tighten over my back and ass.
“Calm your fucking tits, Viper,” I toy with him. I can’t help it.
“Blue, don’t play like you know me.” He says cold and forced.
“Ha like I don’t know you, well sorry babycakes but I know you well,” I say as I pinch his ass, knowing this will get a rise out of him. He stops dead still at the base of a set of stairs taking in a lung full of air before he descends on the stairs, cold metal ones that sound out under his combat boots. I count them as we go because shit it’s too quiet in my head right now, both the good me and bad me have gone into hiding, pussies can’t handle shit. Twenty-five steps and we are at the top, looking from my left to my right, I see six doors, ooh now what one shall it be eeny meeny miny mo what door only the great Viper knows.
Singing out more to myself than Viper he just shakes his head, I feel the small vibration of laughter in his body he’s trying hard not to laugh I know he finds this amusing, it’s Viper, he’s a fuckwit, but he’s human and I fucken hate him!
Door number four is the one we enter, and my body jumps as the sound of him kicking it closed behind us cracks out shattering the silence that consumes us both. Rising me up from his shoulder, he holds me in the air above him. My hair falls around us like a red cloak. As he looks deep into my eyes, I see the flicker of a love turned to pure hate and goose bumps break out over my body. He shudders and throws me forcefully back on the bed, my body hitting it with such force it bounces back up. He stalks over and, in one fell swoop, his fingers are around my neck, slamming me back down onto the bed, anger radiating off him. Shit I pushed too far, way too fucken far.
Leaning down into me he lifts his body onto the bed, the mattress sinks under his weight. Pulling me into it, his grip never loosens around my throat, it's restricting but I can breathe and, as I look into this devil’s eyes, I see nothing but hatred. Looking deeper I see that it's mirroring my eyes and in his eyes, deep below the iris’s of mine, lies love. He still loves me. I can’t handle the look of love from him, so I close my eyes, taking in a lung full of air, I feel his breath grace my lips.
“Why Blue? Why did you have to?” the pain in his voice sends waves through my body. FUCK
“Do what? Set your house on fire? Stab you and your men? What Viper what did I do to you that you hadn’t done to me.”
He brings his forehead to mine. “I can’t fucking do this with you,” I say to him, holding my breath, wiggling up the bed trying to free myself, and to my surprise, he lets go of me. Scampering up the back of the bed I push myself hard against the headboard. Shaking, he’s shaking, sobs rack through his body. Pulling my knees up to my chest, his eyes meet mine laced in tears.
“You broke me, Blue.” His voice is a quiver.
“You took me to the bottom of hell and back. Your love was dark and evil, Viper, you broke me more than I did you. When I needed you the most, you abused me and used me for your gain.” Pulling at the imaginary fiber of the bed cover not able to meet his stare, I try to calm my racing heart.
“I loved you,” he says pulling himself up the bed into my space taking all the safe air from around me, filling it with a sense of the uncertain.
“You fucking loved me? You have a funny fucking way of showing it there babes. I loved you more, and you abused me when I was meant to be your Queen. You took me and sent me into a spiral of drugs and countless men raping me. So fucking excuse me if I got a little confused on how much you loved me.” I spit out at him bile rising from the depths of my belly. His eyes glare angry daggers at me. In one swift movement his fist meets my eye socket slamming my head so hard into the wall I feel it crack.
“I was the King Pin, and you fucked that!” he barks crawling up at me his whole-body straddles mine as he pulls me under him. “You’re fucking coming home, Junkie love, and leaving will never be an option for you.” He barks, slamming his hand over my mouth before I can even speak. “You and your stunts were just about the fucken death of me. I won’t have you make me a fool again. So now you will bend to my will and the drug of choice is heroin. You will be so wired on it you won’t even remember your fucken name.”
I feel the fear rise inside me. I won’t let him win. Play his game Blue play his game. Bitch please you know you wanna stay high. Shit, there she goes bad me is back where the fuck is good me when I need her boring ass. “I’m alone and broken, fractured and fucked,” I mouth against his hands.
“Alone? No Junkie, love, you have me. Broken yes and this time was a lot harder than last the plane is getting ready, we roll out first thing in the morning. “Pushing his body on top of mine I feel his dick harden as he runs his fingers up my bare skin. My skin crawls as his tongue licks up from my collarbone all the way to the tip of my ear. “You ready to come home baby, I made you this.” Lifting his hand up shaking it, I see the bag of pills he’s holding.All different sizes and colors I thrash in his grip, trying with all I have, to break from him as he sits up pushing all his weight down into my pelvis and hips, pushing me deeper into the bed, holding me there. With one swift flick of his fingers, the bag pops open. My eyes follow the pills one by one as he tips them out into his hand. “One for you, one for me. Two for you, one for me,” he says placing the pills out onto my chest. How can he go from this crying sack of shit to the devil in two point zero seconds? My head’s spinning with the effects from the last fucking concoction still swimming in me. Watching him like a hawk, he starts to hum away to himself, he reaches over the bed and pulls a steel trolley closer. I can see it contains a bottle of water, a rubber band, spoon, lighter, needle and gauze. I go cold, shaking my head from side to side, I start pleading. “Please, Viper, please I’ll go I’ll be what you want, just no more drugs please. I’ll be your Queen. I’ll help you rule the Dublin underworld just no more, if you love me, let me be sober.”
An evil laugh erupts from his body as he unscrews the lid from the bottle. “Drink” he spits as he reaches to the pills on my chest picking one up. I close my eyes and relish in the cold liquid as it slides down my hungry, dry throat to sit in the bottom of my stomach, sending the most delish sensation out over my body. Placing a green pill on the tip of my lipthenwhite and another green lined up ready to be consumed, I shake, my body knows what’s coming. The evil me is sitting on the edge of her throne ready for the sweet daze to come, while the good me is in the fetal position in the corner crying her eyes out. The rational part of me wants to fight while the junkie part has caved and is hungry for the painless feeling of freedom to take me.
Viper grabs the spoon and needle, then, using the plunger end, he crushes up the pill and mixes it with a little water before running his Zippo under the spoon as he heats it up. The tang of the drug heating has my soul on fire and my mouth is watering my bottom lip quivers at the anticipation.
“Be still Baby.” His lips meet my ear as he whispers this one gut wrenching sentence into my soul as my insides burn at the hungry look that is floating around in his eyes as he brings them back to lock onto mine. Sucking up the liquid, I watch as the amber shines inside the clear tube, he places it between his lips and repeats the process. “Open,” he grunts over the needle. I shake my head. “Mmm mmmm,” is all I can push out not wanting the pills to fall from my lips. That will warrant another punch to the face.
“Don’t fucken test me, Blue,” he spits as he takes the needle from his lips and places it down on the table with the other full one and spoon. “One more chance, OPEN!” he screams frustration clear in his tone.
“NOOOOOOOO,” I wail, holding my breath and slamming my eyes shut. I don’t want to see what’s coming. I feel him pick up the pills, one at a time, grabbing my mouth tight between his fingers forming an O he forces it open. No matter how hard I try to keep them shut, with just one squeeze he has it open. Take it, Blue I hear her, my evil side, the greedy drug-hungry little slapper. You know you want it. She cackles out as I zone my vision in on her in the dark depths of my brain. “FUCK YOU!” I spit out more to her than Viper, but he doesn’t see her and her evil twisted ways, he just sees me and defiance.
He pushes the pills into my mouth, I feel the small weight of them on my tongue and the chalky feeling sits on it’s tip as I gag before opening my eyes. I watch as he pours the cool, clear water into my mouth pushing my chin up and holding my mouth shut blocking my nose with his fingers. I struggle to hold on. To not swallow down the death wish he has, to no avail. I have to swallow to breathe, I don’t wanna go out this way, not with him on top of me. Shuddering I feel the pills mixed with water slide down my throat with such ease. “Why,” I ask him with disgust in my voice.
“You know why, Blue, I was on the top of the food chain with you and in one moment of pure defiance you destroyed it and pulled me down to the depths. I told you that you’d pay! I’m here to collect payment.” Pulling my arm up into the air he wraps the belt around it, pulling it tight till the purple vein pops to the top sitting just under the surface of my skin. Kicking out I try to pull free from him, but his body has me pinned.
Pleading with him I beg. “I’ll do anything, don’t please don’t!”
“Too late baby,” he says slamming the needle into the vein. My life flicks before my eyes fluttering his lips come down on my arm licking the small droplet of blood that has formed at the entry hole in my arm; a small prick is all that it took to fill my body to its limit. Overdose, please come and take me.
Watching his movements through glazed eyes as the angels above me start to sing, and the evil me lolls back in the chair while the good me has passed out, he fills his arm then, with the juice of the Devil watching. The stress and tension leave his body as he joins mine on the wings of this drug we call fake love. Falling down on top of me, I feel his hands run down my clammy, naked, exposed skin as his fingers reach my opening, he sends a finger into me. Circling it around and playing with my G-spot nice and deep, he knows how I like it. Bringing his lips to my breasts, sending out small kisses over me, knowing this body so well he feels like a sick home that I need yet want to ruin. Finding my hands moving on their own free will, I pull at the cold steel of his belt buckle and hastily undo it, all of a sudden needing his skin on me. Hating my body for betraying my mind and apologizing to his angel staring down at me for this insanity of mine I let go and allow the Viper of Dublin’s underground to take me.
The smell of cigar smoke and whiskey swirls out around me as the cool air kisses at my sweaty naked body. I can feel a heartbeat against me
One, Two, Three, One, Two Three.
“Knox, is that you?” The arms holding me grip my weak, limp body as I try to move. I feel so heavy. This man’s spine straightens as his steps still to an almost crawl; a low growl vibrates up his torso sitting at the base of his neck. This does not feel at all right, or like Knox. Willing my heavy eyelids to open just for a split second I try to see, but I can’t, it’s like a blanket of concrete has been laid over me. Why can’t I move? Why will my eyes not open? What’s happening to me? Why can’t I remember anything? The air changes as does the smell, I can sense a shift and feel the steps as he takes them One, two, three, four, five, all the way down to twenty-five, stopping at the bottom. The smell hits me. I know this smell. I’ve been here before, the sounds of whimpering and sobs rings out as the telltale sound of keys unlocking a door clink.
Walking again and then nothing but heavy breathing coming from the chest I’m held against. Before I know it, I’m falling for a split second, free and then, boom, I hit the cold, wet floor of what I now know is a cell, my cell. I’m back in the dungeon again. Shock washes out over me as I shriek from deep down below, the sound scares even my own ears, not realizing it had come from my own body, as a bucket filled with ice cold water hits my naked body, sending jolts through my body, shocking the blanket of what I felt as concrete from my body. My eyes ping open as I try to focus on the man in front of me. Viper and his gang of merry masked men flanking his sides form a circle around me.
“Baby is that the way you treat your toys?” I question raising my eyebrow up at him trying with all I have to pull my body to a sitting position at least. He looks at his men and back down at me with a sick twisted smile and leans down, punching me square in the jaw. Head flying back, my vision blurry from the water pooling in them, I bring my hand up to the burn and I look at him with clearer eyes as that smack released a small amount of the drug grip on my soul.
“Don’t pull that shit, Blue.” I try to scurry back. “Doing what? What you ordered Viper?” I ask rubbing my hand over my face.
“Don’t piss on me, Blue. you're pushing it” his eyes look at me with sadness.
“Pushing what? Your bounds? you wanted me out there! You bring her out, it’s not my fault you can’t handle her or want to share. Couldn’t you stay hard baby? Is that why you’re so mad?” I remember now the sad eyes with love in them, the drugs and shooting up not only me, but himself. “Couldn’t do the job hey baby? Went soft did you? That’s what’s got you so worked up!” Whirling around he jumps on me taking my breath, breaking my nose instantly with one sharp punch. The blood pools out over my face, sliding warm and sticky down my neck. But I continue, hoping that maybe he will finally end this torment. “Couldn’t fuck me while I was passed out near OD material, eh honey had you scared, did it?” I was not letting up on my verbal tirade on his sorry ass.
His palm slaps me hard across my face sending sprays of blood to slash out at him and his mask men standing to the right of me. Slowly I bring my face back to his licking the blood from my lips as my smile widens “Hit me again baby, do you need that to get hard?” I smile out at him and his goons with a wink and blowing him a kiss. His fingers find my throat squeezing until little white dots hit the back of my eyes. Defense kicks in and I pull my legs up kneeing him square in his limp dick. His grip loosens and he falls back as the pain cruises through his body. I scurry back against the cold wall flicking my eyes from man to man waiting for one of them to make their move.
“Boss” one calls out as the other reaches down and pulls him to his feet as he gasps for air. “I shall fix you junkie love, and that defiant ass of yours.” He spits at me wishing death upon my soul. I take two steps towards him as he takes two towards me spitting blood in his face.
“Hit me with your best shot scum bag, it’s not me who will meet his maker.” Raising his fist nice and high he brings it down with all he has. He pops my other eye socket breaking it, that I’m sure of as I feel the bone crack under his knuckles. Falling back at the sheer force the wall greets my back sending the rough edges of it’s surface into my bare skin. Sucking in deep, I remind myself that pain is nothing compared to the pain in my face as my eyes begin to close over. I start coughing up blood, spitting, trying to suck air into my pain ravaged body. I look up to see him shaking his head as he wipes my blood from his face. Grabbing my hair tight pulling me into him, he curls his finger inside me. Clenching around them the feeling that consumes me is one mixed with lust and pain.
“You see, junkie love, I win either way, limp I may have gotten, but fucked you surely got. Sleep baby I’ll be back.” Dropping my body to the cold, wet floor, he stalks away with the masked men flanking him bringing my shaking hands up to my face I can feel the true extent of his work as I feel the blood caking and pooling still along with the puffiness. His footsteps stop as I look up at him, ushering his men away he picks up a blanket from the door, walking back over to me crouching down to my shaking body, he says.
“I’m beyond fucking angry but I still fucken love you. We could end this all now and overdose together baby it was the plan, wasn’t it? Popping pills, injecting our way out of this envy and into our paradise.” Running his fingers through my hair which is caked in blood, leaning down, he kisses the tip of my nose running his finger over my bottom lip. “See you soon.”
Curling myself up in the blanket trying hard to cover my naked, bleeding body for the first time since I got here I cry.