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Blue
I cry, and I fucking cry along with all these other weeping souls in this batshit crazy hellhole, I’m a fucking strong ass woman but fuck even she has her limits.
Wrapping myself tighter into my sore bruised body, I allow my mind to slip in between thoughts of love, hate, and pure anger, looking back over the fucked-up life I have lived isn’t it a peachy-fucken-keen.A sick smile crosses my face, he broke me, he fucken broke me! Scratching my nails up and down my itchy arms, craving for a new hit, a fresh surge of fakeness to flow through my wallowing body. Peeling the thin, weak skin back under my nails a dull sting reminds me that yes, I’m still fucken here, still fucken breathing barely but here, she’s there too, looking at me through her clear eyes, willing begging me to get up fight!
He’s coming, I see him, he’s coming over and over she chants it, spitting up at her I scream for her to “FUCK OFF” just “GO! You’re a fucken dead girl haunting my fucken head like I’m batshit crazy! I hear you, I listen, you’re always fucking there, here with him, with me, chained to our fucking life’s like the dark angel of haven’s final kiss, I need you out just like I need the junk in my veins see me and hear me, listen to this I’m fucking off it!” she falls next to me her smell taking up home in my senses looking into the eyes of an Angel I grit out to her pure fucking soul.
“The devil is in my veins; you need to get the fuck out! I cannot be saved by his angel in lace anymore; it's over allow my crimson tears to fall as I allow the devil to take up residents, living through me like fire licking the skin of a demon in the dark of a still night.” Ripping at my matted manky hair, I pull big massive clumps of it out screaming as I go as loud as my body can, till I’m greeted by no other than the great fucken VIPER himself, looking up as he enters I plaster a fake ass smile on my pain laced face.
“Back to fuck me up, some more, are you pretty boy?”
Pulling up his chair dropping a bag at his feet, he states, “I’m here to do whatever the fuck I want with you and any other bitch here.” Spitting at his combat-booted feet as I scurry back grazing my ass cheeks along the bumpy, cold concrete, further to the cold wall. Sarah-Jane, the Angel of the light, moves like the wind and rests behind him hands on the back of his chair with a fire in her eyes that I have never seen before as her wings change from white to black and gold. Smiling up at him I lay it all out for his ears, and hers, she is here always fucken here.
“You going to keep my veins hot, are you? Keep me drugged to do what you please with me. Do you want me to dance for you baby is that what you want? You want me to whisper your name as I flicker over your cock, full of the fake love you’re so eager to fill my body with. Filling my heart with drugs in the hope that I will want the dirty, sick Viper the king of the lost kings. You’re burning to make me your prisoner again! How fucked off are you that it hasn’t worked this time knowing that my heart beats for another, that my body that you try to claim has been with another a man, a real man one who can satisfy me without filling me full of drugs. It’s his cum instead who can not only love me but also have me wanting more, sober, not high as a mother fucking kite!
Pulling myself up I walk over to him swaying my now boney hips as I go trying to look all sexy like. “I see it in your eyes the pain, the horror that I’m not the fractured fucked up girl you wanted. Your drugs just don’t dampen the fire this time baby.”
Pulling his chin up with my hands I look deep into his twisted soul as I rake, my nails down the side of his face. A hiss of air leaves his mouth hitting me, pulling my leg up I slam it down into his crouch twisting my toes into his balls and pinning them between my foot and the cold still of the chair. He lurches forward gasping for air reaching his hands out grabbing me around my ass.
“Not happening baby.” Looking deep into his eyes I sweep my foot out under his chair taking it and him to the ground. Looking down I kick him in the ribs with all the strength my weak ass body can muster. He is gasping for air with the look of hell in his eyes as I step over him running to the cage door I pull it open.
“Later baby!” I hiss out as I try to run past the cage doors holding all these fucken drugged women. I look at them before I start pulling at their doors trying to free them as fast as I can. Scanning the walls for keys, I hear a tiny wee voice quiet as a mouse,
“Hey here look up, there you see, there on that hook they are there.”
Looking up I see them shiny and bright reaching over I grab them unlocking her door first then the next and the next until my legs are taken out from under me falling onto the cold wet hard as all hell floor. Hitting it hard my cheek pops back up and settles down as stars form just behind my iris. Trying to spin round to see what the fuck took me out and to kick my way out, I’m to late, I am getting dragged back. Latching my nails out into the concrete floor I felt the pop, pop, pop, as each nail flys off as I try frantically to grip the floor not wanting to go back in there. My heart is pounding, I can hear it in my ears, screaming and gasping for air, the plea that no-one seams to hear falls from my lips, “NO, NO, PLEASE don't” I scream. “HELP ME,” looking up I plead with the ones that I let go, but they head up the steps and cower, all except little mouse girl. She runs back towards us, Viper lets one hand go from my hair, slamming it out grabbing her by the front of her throat. His fingers snake tight around her neck, looking down at me he drops to one knee pulling her down with him as he lets go of the last handful of hair I have left. She’s choking gasping for air, the gurgling sounds form at the base of her throat as his grip tightens. My heart stops as a buzzing forms in my ears, looking down at me her eyes are watering, and she is looking into my soul shaking my head I know what’s coming, I’ve seen this move in Dublin. Mouthing to her “It's ok, thank you, you're soon going to be free.” His twisted laugh sounds out around us and just like that he snaps her neck, poof her eyes snap to an empty death, gone from here from this hell.
Dropping her lifeless body to the ground, he turns back to me. I shake and try to move but my body is snapped frozen, he places his cold hands on either side of my cheeks pulling me up to stand in front of him. He places one hand on the nape of my neck and the other in a vice-like grip on the front. Reaching my hands up from my side I try to free his iron-clad grip clawing at his hands, the pain shooting through my body like jolts, the stars still sparkling behind the ebbs of my eyes, willing the darkness to engulf me,
“Kill me! Just fucken do it! You’re a dickless prick. Kill me!” I scream at him pulling tight into the front of his body he holds my quivering frame, he lets go of my neck and snakes his arm around my waist his hands like ice on my bare skin. Chills run through me as he lowers his other hand running his dirty ass fingers over the swell of my breast and down further past my belly button heading all the way down to my opening. Clenching shut as hard as I can I try to stop his fingers from breaking through and entering me, but I’m no match to this sick bastards power, he slides in past my clenched walls with no care thrusting them hard into me. His nose is touching mine as his cigar laced voice breathes out over my face. “Kill you I shall, but not till after I have my fill one last time, you shall dance on my cock, junkie love and I shall take you to the edge of fucking oblivion, before I wipe you from this world for good.”
Biting hard down into my bottom lip I let out a whimper as I feel the pop of my flesh as he brings his fingers in and out fast and hard as deep as he can go. Silent tears fall from my tired soulless eyes, defeated I go slack giving in. I’m done there is no more fight, I succumb to this man he knows my body too well. “Yes baby that’s it cave and fall apart around my fingers” he breathes out as he sucks the blood from the slit his teeth made in my lip, a sick animal like growl escapes him vibrating against my now crawling skin, silently I say goodbye to the memory of Knox that I hold as Viper pulls me back into his den of sex pain and dancing leading me down to the gates of hell. All I have left is a fear running done my spine mixing with the cool sweat this is now the end of all I am and have been.
All my dreams and hopes are gone taken by the dark evil hands of a sick man who has me holed up in a wet dark cage in the bottom of god knows where. Sliding his fingers out of me he sucks in tiny bits of flesh on my neck I feel the little hickies pop up as he goes, a carnal murmur vibrates out over my skin from his mouth as his tongue leaves little lines of hot saliva over my skin. Bringing his hands up under my arms he picks my defeated body up and off the ground holding me up above his six-foot frame licking from my clit up to my navel I shudder and a whoosh of air forms around me as he throws me back, and my body flies through the air before skating hard along the cage floor. I feel the skin from my spine grate away. Stalking over to me before I can even attempt to pull myself up his massive frame straddles me and I feel the hunger firing off his body.
“Awaken the monster you shall see how far you’re going to go. How deep he shall take you before your sassy, yet beautiful, soul says hello to the dark side of this moon,” his voice is chilling, cold, I look up through my tear stained eyes.
“I don’t mind what happens now as long as I don’t ever have to see your fucking face again.” I spit at him. “You called me strong, and you called me weak, you beat me. Filled me to the limit with drugs you took my dignity, and you took from my soul. But the one thing I will never let you take is my bat-shit crazy fire, the one thing you will never hold, touch or even taste the one thing that you hunt for my LOVE never shall it grace the depths of your sick being! For that belongs to someone else, you never had it ever.”
Raging in a fury of fire around me, he whips me up from the ground and hurls his fists upon me slamming me into the wall, punch after punch into my body, a body that no longer feels this. Instead it is sitting on the ledge getting closer to being dead. Smack after smack my head lolls back and forward on my shoulders my body is going cold there is nothing left of this mind. I taste the blood-forming in my mouth dripping down my face in warm streaks falling to the floor. I watch it drip, drip, drip, smiling pulling my eyes up I look into his now midnight black iris.
“You finished baby I wouldn’t mind sleeping now,” sliding down the wall my body is no longer capable of holding me up. I slide down further to the life I’m fading from, he steps forward bending down grabbing my chin in his vice-like grip pushing together so hard and tight my teeth are smashed against my cheek, trying to look through the blood and haze of puffiness into his eyes, he brings his face right up close to me making him a blur.
“You're all I I have ever wanted, I wanted to tame you, to love you, to break you and remold you, but you couldn’t or wouldn’t play by the rules so now you shall feel my love through my pure hate one last time, as you die around my dick,” dropping my head down all I can do is stare at him as he steps over to the black bag, watching him pull out the silver box, that holds all things great! The needles, the pills, the rubber tubing, the coke and the lady I love the most miss Heroin, licking my lips I close my eyes, whispering out to the darkness. “I’ll see you soon my brother for the Reaper is near just over my shoulder.”
Surging to a new high as he plunges the needle into my veins, I feel the warmth running through me and taking my heavy body onto the waiting lightness of a cloud closing my eyes smiling I let out a laugh so sick it scares me, even in my drug-induced state. Then there it is another hit into the next arm, another pinch of the needle, a flood of adrenaline as the coke starts dancing through my blood, then another and another filling me right up till I can no longer feel or even hear anything around me. Just the thump of my heart in my ears. All that’s left is a shell of me as I walk these walls watching him abuse my body, pulling my limp form up from the ground, walking towards the chair he pushes me down to my knees unzipping his jeans they fall, pooling around his feet, looking through drug-laced eyes, as he licks his lips as he looks down at me, I know that look, I know what’s coming.
Pulling his cock free from his boxer briefs he orders, “Get up and dance darling,” shaking my head tears pool behind my eyes.
“DO IT! Now!”
“I can’t move,” I slur out to him.
Slapping me hard across the face he yells, “You’re going to dance.”
“Not this high, I can’t, you know that it’s too much.” My voice floats out shit even that sounds high. Grabbing me up around my throat he starts squeezing the air from my labored lungs, my vision is going black around us both as his fist hits the side of my jaw, a god-awful crack sounds out ringing in my ear. blood spills from my open mouth, another crack and another, I see his angry lips talking but I cannot hear over the consent hum in my ears, as the blood pools in them. Standing he pulls me from the floor and pushes my body over to the back wall turning me around my face lays flush against the cool concrete as his nails and fingers dig into my hips pulling me back onto his waiting for cock I feel it pop as he pushes in past my clenched folds. Sucking in a deep lung full of air that hurts like a hot ass poker is stabbing into my ribs I hear laughing, his sick laugh.
“Ready darling to ride the lost king home,” he pulls out and thrusts back in again with more force as my body takes it over and over. Pulling out again this time he stills circling his cock around my entrance teasing tempting my body to react but before I can do it I feel a cool air zap over my exposed ass his hands rip at my hips the force of him flying back has me coming back with him. My head hits the ground snapping to the side I make out the shape of yet another masked man black with a Reaper on his back.
“Finally,” I murmur. The Reaper has come to take my soul home. Closing my eyes, the drugs swirl inside, fighting to keep them open is a will I don’t behold. All I hear is the angry spit of voices I feel like I know. The cracks and thumps of blows and kicks to a body breaking, pop in my ears then just as fast as it came it was gone, and airy silence humming around me is all that is left and heavy breathing. Is that me?
Surely not, it's labored breathing ragged and raspy, a bark of a hazy voice ordering to something to get here fast, breaks through my drug hazed mind. I have no idea what is going on, I feel as though my mind has finally broken. The end can’t be far. Falling in and out of either a drug trance or unconscious state I try to pull my heavy lids open just a crack to steal glances of the Reaper, who has come to take my soul. He is pacing the cage, raging you can feel the sparks flying from him, his hands look like they hold a dragon tattoo, but that doesn’t make sense I think as I fall back into the abyss of the dark.
Just like that, I’m floating the air kissing my naked and afraid body as warm hands wrap around me holding me against a strong hard chest and a heart that doesn’t beat but hums. His voice is a soft rasp over my cheek. “Stay here Blue stay,” he knows my name, pulling back to the surface I look up pushing thick air out through the congealed blood in my throat and mouth asking him,
“WHO ARE YOU? DEATH?!” in a long-labored breath his ragged answer is
“SOMETIMES. BUT NOT TONIGHT BLUE BABY, NOT TONIGHT”
That’s it I’m falling back allowing the dark to take me by the heart, all I feel is the bumps of steps, his hands on my bare skin, the warmth from them tingling over his lips and breath that brush over my face. Then he stops dead still I feel his breathing lifting me up then back down in and out, the hum of a fractured heart I hear a scream in the distance and voices that I feel I know, before falling into arms that fell like home. Breathing in the smell I know, pulling my eyes open as far as they are willing to go. I see them at that moment through the haze my eyes lock onto the eyes that hold my dreams. Am I home?
This heart I feel raging against my side I know that it's mine, and I am safe not needing to fight anymore. I allow him to take my soul to a place of safekeeping, a place they call home. The one thing in this world that can heal someone as broken and as abused as me is the place where I have to set all the demons free. The asylum of broken dreams. Hearts set free, souls left to wander on streets no longer scared or fighting but lit up with love that holds out the dark. I feel something heavy lay over my body sheltering me like a blanket of hope; it smells like smoke.
Walking on air as he steps his way up and out of here. Step by painful step my ribs feel like hot pokers are stabbing me from every direction my face is aching on a whole new level and let’s not get started on my head, arms and legs, Shit the track marks are on fire, and the ache consumes me. He stops at the top, I know so because I have counted the stairs many times. His body turns and I peel my eyes open to look up into his, sadness and anger wash through them mixed with a flicker of disgust. I steal one last tired glance back down to the dungeon that broke me. His husky voice whispers into my ear and with a crack and a step I feel the shock of cold crisp, on the verge of fucken freezing, air whip over me kissing my legs, arms, and face. Allowing it to wash over me I open up freely to the night, to the feeling of freedom so sweet and pure. I’m so fucking high though that I surely cannot repair tonight I’m so far gone. Trying to open my dry, parched mouth, running my tongue over my cracked, bleeding lips, trying to wet them enough to talk to let him know that I know his heartbeat it's keeping me just above the surface of drowning. But I don’t know that he can hear me. He speaks then, his voice whipping out anger that has me shaking and tensing my body in his soft grip.
“Burn the place to the fucking ground. Hit the button. The dynamite is set to send it down to hell in a torrent of flames where they can no longer breathe among the men of the Reaper.” Just as he speaks the last word you hear the shuffle of feet and many voices calling out then an earth-shattering loud smash and sound of shattering glass has my Savior jumping back a few steps. I feel as though I may fall but his grip tightens, and he pulls me back up. I place my head under the crook of his neck. A carnal growl of a voice screaming out.
“Don’t fucking hit that button, Mission Raven lies inside the walls of that fucking hell. I need to go back in!” Walking again I feel the warmth leave me as I’m set on the cold surface of something unknown the pull and dip of bodies forming, falling into the space around us. I flicker my eyes, this drug lace haze is so heavy, all dark shadows is what I see, as I’m lifted up and placed upon the lap of my very own demon in the dark.
Dark and strong needy and sweet, this man whose heart I’m sure, I keep knowing that smell, the tight clench of a jaw, the worry laced in them eyes, are too much to bear but the sweet release of knowing that I no longer need to fight is overpowering. I feel as though all is ok, but still fearing the morning’s light. I still fear that this is a drug induced dream and if it is not then I know I will suffer from withdrawals come the morning. Shuddering in my skin. I feel for the first time in many rank dark days a soft kiss on my forehead, it takes me to an abyss of bliss, love, feathers, dancing in a ring of hope and sunsets upon a mountain overlooking the lights below. The sound of their hushed voices lull me to sleep, and the bumps of the ride away soothe me.