Late Friday evening, Randi stood at her closet gazing blindly at her clothes, trying to decide what to wear to the restaurant. The lack of sleep and emotional stress had her nerves stretched taut; the thought of spending the evening with Payton and Crystal was almost more than she could bear.
Glancing down at her watch, she suppressed a groan. “You have to make decision,” she told herself. “You’re running out of time. Jason will be here in forty-five minutes.” The feeling of dread seemed to escalate with each passing minute. “Why did I agree to this?” she asked herself yet again, as tears filled her eyes.
Swiping angrily at the tears, she grabbed three dresses from the closet and laid them across the bed. Lifting each one, she held it in front of her and gazed in the full-length mirror. Eliminating the red one, because the color was just too bright and cheerful for her mood tonight, and the blue one because she remembered the comment Payton had made about her wearing a blue dress to the prom, she decided on the black strapless dress of polished cotton with a sweetheart neckline and a fitted bodice, the skirt gracing her knees. She opened her jewelry box and pulled out a silver-and-black necklace with matching earrings. Satisfied with her choice, she headed toward the shower, then paused when her cell phone rang.
Looking at the caller ID, she forced a smile into her voice and picked up the phone. “Hi, Crystal.”
“Hi, Randi,” Crystal began. “I just wanted to thank you for setting everything up for tonight. I am so looking forward to it. You’re a real friend.”
“Not a problem,” Randi said, bombarded with guilt. “I hope it turns into a special evening for you and Payton.” She wondered how Crystal would feel about her friendship if she knew the truth. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block the memory of making love to Payton.
“Thanks again, Randi,” Crystal said. “We’ll see you at the restaurant in an about an hour.”
Thirty minutes later Randi stood in front of the mirror. She ran her hand over the black dress, smoothing the fabric, then stepped into a pair of black strappy heels, adding three inches to her height and accentuating her long legs. Gathering her hair on the crown of her head, she secured it with a clip and pulled out several curls, letting them softly frame her face. Staring at her reflection, indecision taunted her. At the last minute she pulled the clip from her hair, brushed through the soft curls and let them fall naturally onto her shoulders. She glanced at her watch and felt her stomach muscle tighten. She swore under her breath and reached for her cosmetic bag.
With her makeup complete, she added a spray of perfume and then rested her hand over her stomach, where the anxiety had pooled. Sucking in a deep and calming breath she let it out slowly, then turned toward her bedroom door just as the doorbell rang. She fixed a belying smile on her lips and moved down the hall.
In the car Jason turned and brushed a light kiss on her lips. “You, Randi Bolin, are sinfully beautiful tonight,” he said with a smile. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep my hands off you.”
“Thank you, Jason.” Randi smiled as her stomach churned. When they neared the restaurant, her pulse began to race, her anxiety level skyrocketing as they turned into the parking lot and she saw Payton’s truck. God, what was I thinking when I agreed to this? she asked herself again. Forcing her attention back to Jason’s conversation, she tried to calm her nerves.
*
Payton gazed across the dimly lit restaurant and its lavish decor His eyes scanned past the tables dressed out in elegant, white tablecloths and black napkins, to the empty archway where the other couple would be entering.
Turning back to Crystal, he acknowledged her comment with a nod and then half listened to her, while anxiously darting glances at the entrance.
Over the last two weeks, Randi had become an expert at vanishing the moment she saw him. She no longer came to the barn when he was there, and she refused to accept or return his phone calls. He vacillated between feelings of hope, anger, and frustration. At night he lay in bed longing to hold her, touch her, the need fueled by the memory of making love to her the day of the storm. He had only to recall the feeling of her long legs wrapping around him in the heat of passion to guarantee a sleepless night.
In the beginning, he had convinced himself that Randi would calm down and listen to reason after a few days. But his hope was rapidly diminishing. And in its place was the ever-present fear of losing her to Jason, a fear that hung over him like a black cloud.
His eyes locked on Randi the moment they entered the restaurant. She turned and looked in his direction. His heart made a painful leap in his chest. As they came deeper into the room he let his gaze travel over her face, down the slender length of her neck, to firm, youthful breasts. He traced the outline of her waist, her hips, then made a slow trek down the length of her long, beautiful legs. The memory of her naked body against his came to him in a rush. An all too familiar ache coiled in his gut. He silenced the groan and pulled his dark gaze back to her face. The smile on her lips was stiff and unnatural.
He stood as they approached the table, shook hands with Jason and then remained standing, while Jason seated Randi.
*
God, what was I thinking? Randi groaned silently, feeling the heat of Payton’s gaze on her. Her heart skipped and scrambled, her stomach quivering with nerves. She glanced away, keeping a polite smile on her face.
“Payton…Crystal, good to see you again,” Jason said as he sat down. “Crystal, you’re lovely tonight, as always.”
“Thank you, Jason.” Crystal smiled, glowing at his compliment.
He turned to Randi, laying his hand on hers and gently squeezing. “What would you like to drink, sweetheart?”
“White wine would be great. Thank you,” she answered, forcing a smile she didn’t feel.
Jason lifted his hand and motioned for the waiter, then took a few minutes to look over the wine list before ordering a bottle of chardonnay.
“This is a lovely restaurant, Jason,” Crystal commented, looking around the room at the cozy romantic ambiance. “This is my first time eating here.”
“I thought it was a perfect choice for a celebration,” Jason agreed. “The food is excellent, service is great, and the music offers a perfect excuse to hold someone close.” He squeezed Randi’s hand again, then smiled and winked at her as the waiter stepped up to the table. Pouring a splash of wine in Jason’s glass, he waited for his approval. Jason sampled the wine and nodded. The waiter moved to Randi’s glass, filled it, and then returned to fill Jason’s. As the waiter moved away, Jason lifted his glass.
“I would like to make a toast,” he said and paused, waiting for the others to lift their glass.
“To friendship,” he said, looking from Payton to Crystal with a smile. “And”—he said, turning his smile on Randi—“to long weekends…with a beautiful woman.”
The delicate sound of the glasses clinking together vibrated in Randi’s head as the four glasses came together. She forced a smile and felt the heat of Payton’s gaze.
“I’m so excited for the two of you,” Crystal said. “I’m sure you’re going to have a wonderful time in Houston.” She reached for Payton’s hand and turned a wishful smile on him. “We really should plan a long weekend out of town, Payton. It sounds like great fun.”
“Yeah, I’m sure it would be, Crystal,” Payton answered drily as he pulled his hand away. Crystal’s look of disappointment was lost to everyone but Randi as the maître d’ approached their table. “Pardon the interruption. But are either of you gentlemen driving a white SUV?”
“Yes, I am,” Jason answered, his brow lifting in concern. “Is there a problem?”
“No, sir. Not a problem,” the maître d’ assured him. “However, I wanted to let you know that your lights are on.”
“Thank you. I’ll take care of it,” Jason said, pushing back from the table. “If you’ll excuse me a moment,” he said, then followed the maître d’ back to the entrance.
“Well, this is a good time for me to make a trip to the powder room,” Crystal said, as she stood. Randi flashed a weak smile in her direction and watched her leave the table. Too late she realized she should have gone with her.
Avoiding Payton’s pain-filled eyes, she stared at her glass of wine while nervously turning the stem between her fingers. She could feel the air change as tension stretched between them.
Impulsively, Payton reached for her hand, tightening his hold when she tried to tug free. “I love you, Randi,” he said softly. “Please, don’t go to Houston with him. Please. I can’t live with the thought of him holding you…touching you…Please. Please…don’t go,” he begged.
Randi felt the sudden sting of tears in her eyes. “Don’t do this, Payton. Not here…not tonight.”
“Then when, Randi?” he asked, lifting her chin with his finger and forcing her to look at him. “When can I say it? And where? You’ve avoided me all week. You won’t return my calls. I love you…and I’m dying without you.”
Randi stared at him through a blur of unshed tears. She turned from him and blinked, refusing to let them fall.
“If you still believe I was lying,” Payton said, turning her face back to him again. “Ask Crystal. Right here, tonight, in front of me. I have never had sex with Crystal. Never. I swear I haven’t.”
“Payton, it’s too late for us. Please, just let it go,” Randi begged as a tear slipped onto her cheek.
Payton reached out and wiped the tear away. “You’re wrong, Randi,” he said softly. “It’s not too late for us. I love you. And whether you’ll admit it or not, you love me, too. You wouldn’t be hurting like this if you didn’t.” His hand moved from her face to the soft curls on her shoulders. “God, you’re beautiful, Randi,” he said, watching her hair slide through his fingers. “Please don’t go, baby. Please.”
Randi didn’t reply. Payton was right. She still loved him. But without trust, their relationship would never survive. And she refused to be his victim, again. She stared at him through the pain, her expression dark. Before Payton could say anything more she turned away, giving him the only answer she could give. Silence.
Payton felt a band tighten around his heart and squeeze when she turned away. He watched her pull in a quiet breath, watched her shudder with the effort. He stared at her profile and felt fear slice through him, aware that something had changed. The anger that had driven her to loud outbursts in the beginning was now gone. Replaced by sadness. He tried to imagine how she must feel: Betrayed by the man she had loved and trusted as a brother for twelve years—and in the same moment—betrayed by the man she had given herself to in love. It was this pain, he realized, that was keeping them apart.
“I love you, Randi. Please believe me,” he begged. He reached for her hand and watched her pull away. Dear God, he thought, with a new rush of fear. She’s really going to Houston with Jason, and there’s nothing I can say or do to change her mind.
Randi raised her glass to her lips and emptied the wine in two swallows, hoping to numb the pain. When she glimpsed Crystal making her way back toward the table, she blinked the tears from her eyes and fixed a smile on her face.
“That’s a beautiful dress, Crystal. Is it new?” she asked, holding the smile while Payton stood and seated Crystal.
“Yes. It is.” Crystal beamed and reached for Payton’s hand. “I was hoping to impress a certain handsome cowboy tonight.” She smiled up at Payton wistfully.
Oblivious to her comment, Payton returned to his chair and reached for his drink. When he gave no response, Randi filled the awkward silence. “Well, it’s a lovely dress, Crystal.”
In the next moment, Jason returned to the table. “Sorry to keep everyone waiting,” he apologized. He reached over and squeezed Randi’s hand as he sat down, then motioned for the waiter. “I hope you guys are hungry tonight,” he said cheerfully. “The food is excellent here.”
After the orders were placed Jason reached for Randi’s hand. “Let’s go enjoy that beautiful music,” he suggested softly.
Randi followed Jason to the dance floor and stepped into his arms, fully aware that Payton and Crystal had joined them. A rush of jealously covered the pain in her heart as she watched Crystal move into Payton’s arms, watched Payton gather her close. The memory of lying in his arms and making love to him clouded her brain. Without warning tears filled her eyes. She looked away, blinking back the tears.
“What are you in such deep thought about tonight?” Jason asked, lifting her chin and lightly kissing her lips.
“Just enjoying the music,” she said, forcing a note of happiness in her words.
Jason smiled and pulled her close. “Do you have any idea how beautiful you are and how fantastic you feel in my arms?” he murmured close to her ear. “I can’t wait until next weekend, when I can hold you and love you the way you deserve to be loved.”
Payton’s pain-filled eyes flashed in Randi’s mind, his pleading words echoing. “I love you, Randi. Please, don’t go to Houston with him. Please. I can’t live with the thought of him holding you…touching you…Please. Please…don’t go.”
Randi closed her eyes to the pain and the tears. She had never felt more confused.
When the song ended, both couples returned to the table where Jason and Crystal immediately fell into an easy conversation. Randi pretended interest, adding an occasional comment when necessary. And although Jason and Crystal didn’t seem to notice, Randi was ever aware of Payton’s eyes on her. If asked a direct question, Payton answered, otherwise he held his silence.
When the food was served, Randi went through the pretense of enjoying the meal, forcing each bite past the knot of emotions that seemed to have lodged in her throat. By the time the table was cleared and after-dinner drinks were ordered, her nerves were stretched taut. But two glasses of wine later she began to relax and enjoy herself. When Jason motioned for the waiter to refill her glass, Payton intervened. “That was your third glass of wine, Randi,” he warned. “You need to have a cup of coffee, now.” The waiter hesitated and quietly stepped back, waiting for a decision.
“I’m fine, Payton,” Randi said, giving him her first real smile of the night.
“Oh, come on, big brother.” Jason said, lightly. “She’ll be okay with one more glass. She’s not driving tonight, and I promise to take care of her.” He motioned to the waiter to fill her glass. The waiter stepped forward and poured the wine.
Randi reached for her glass and grinned. “Now, it’s my turn to make a toast,” she said, raising her glass in the air while Payton glared at her.
“Pick up your glass, Payton. I’m making a toast to you,” she insisted, her words beginning to slur.
Payton shot her a cool stare and slowly lifted his glass.
“To Payton Austin,” she began, her eyes filling with tears. “The best big brother a girl could ever have.” To complete the toast, she clicked the rim of her glass to Payton’s, then downed a large swallow of the wine.
“Oh, how sweet,” Crystal said with a sigh, as a tear slip down Randi’s cheek.
“And…” Randi said, wiping her face with the back of her hand. “And I have another toast.” This time she held her glass over the center of the table toward Crystal. A small giggle escaped her throat. “This toast is to my best friend, Crystal, the future Mrs. Payton Austin.”
Randi clicked the rim of her glass with Crystal’s and then inhaled another large swallow of wine. Raising her glass in the air, she peered at the contents and flashed Jason a grin. “Look,” she smiled, happy with her discovery, “there’s still enough wine for one more toast.”
She twisted in her chair and lifted her glass in his direction. Jason extended his glass toward hers with a grin. “And,” Randi began again, “this toast is to Jason…my bestesst boyfriend ever.” She clicked her glass to Jason’s and then emptied the last of the wine into her mouth.
Jason reached for her hand and squeezed it, then leaned over to kiss her lips. “You’re even adorable when you’ve had too much to drink,” he said. Edging his chair closer he slipped his arm around her.
Randi smiled up at him and then dropped her head onto his shoulder, her hand slowly stroking his chest.
Payton watched her, seething with anger. It was clear to him where this night was headed. Randi was beyond the point of caring what she said or did. And he had no doubt that Jason would have her in his bed five minutes after they walked through the door of his house. The thought of her lying in bed with Jason cut through his heart like a jagged blade.
He waited for the current song to end, then stood, frustration and anger getting the best of him. He stepped up beside Randi’s chair. “How about a dance with your big brother,” he said as a new song began drifting through the speakers.
Lifting her head, she gazed up at Jason, then gave him a passionate kiss. With lightning speed Payton gripped her arm and pulled her to her feet. “I’ll be back in just one minute,” she promised Jason with a giggle. Holding up an index finger she giggled again. “Just onnne minute,” she repeated as Payton pulled her away.
Payton tightened his arm around her waist and led her away from the table. He stopped as he passed the waiter and ask that a cup of black coffee to be sent to their table. The waiter nodded and hurried away while Payton guided Randi past the tables and onto the dance floor. As she moved into his arms the subtle scent of her perfume reached out to him, a light flowery scent, meant to ease into a man’s system, wake his imagination, and play havoc with his hormones. He breathed it into his lungs and felt its effect, his arms closing around her as her soft, warm body aligned with his.
Randi tilted her head back and looked up at him. “You’re angry, Payton. Didn’t you like my toast?” Her lips formed a perfect pout as she gazed into his angry face.
He held her blue eyes for a long moment. God, how he wanted to kiss her. “Yeah, baby. I liked your toast,” he said, with a tentative smile. “Now let’s just dance. Okay?”
Like an obedient child, Randi laid her head on his shoulder, closed her eyes, and followed him as he moved to the slow rhythm of the music. The song was nearing its end when Payton realized her steps were beginning to slow. “Randi, don’t go to sleep,” he cautioned, tightening his hold on her.
Randi raised her head slightly, mumbled a blurred and tangled thought, and then absently swiped at the hair falling across her cheek. Payton gently brushed her hair behind her ear and smiled when she laid her head back on his shoulder.
“Randi.” He spoke her name again, when her feet stopped moving.
“I love you, Payton Austin,” she murmured looking up into his eyes. She dropped her head onto his shoulder again and snuggled deeper into his arms.
“And I love you, baby,” he said, his heart aching. “But you can’t fall asleep on the dance floor.” A moment later he felt her body relax in his arms. “Randi, stand up and move your feet. Okay?” he prompted.
“Suurre,” Randi said, dragging the word out as she came to a complete stop and then went limp in his arms.
Payton cursed softly under his breath and scooped her up in his arms. Gazing down at her beautiful face, he dropped a kiss on her forehead and carried her off the dance floor. “You never could hold your liquor.” He grinned, ignoring the murmurs going on around him as the other patrons gasped in concern.
Jason pushed back from the table and stood, a look of alarm on his face, when Payton approached the table with Randi tucked in his arms.
“Oh, my God,” Crystal gasped. “Is she okay?”
“Yeah, she’s fine. Just too much to drink. Jason will you bring the SUV up to the entrance?”
“Sure.” Jason answered anxiously and then quickly headed toward the front entrance.
“Crystal, will you get the wallet from my pocket and give the waiter three hundred dollars to cover the bill?”
“Okay,” Crystal agreed anxiously and reached in his pocket for his wallet.
“Keep the change,” Payton told the waiter as he walked past him holding Randi close.
When they reached the entrance, Jason was waiting. He rushed around the vehicle and opened the back passenger door.
“Would you mind sitting up front with Jason?” Payton asked Crystal as he slid onto the seat with Randi in his arms. “Sure,” Crystal answered, anxious to do whatever was necessary to help. Jason closed Payton’s door, then opened the front passenger door for Crystal and helped her onto the seat.
“Is she okay?” Crystal asked again, turning a worried look back at Randi. “Yeah,” Payton assured her. “It’s nothing that a good night’s sleep won’t take care of.” With his free hand he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out his cell phone and called Randi’s mother.
“Mrs. Bolin,” he began when she answered. “Randi had a little too much wine at dinner tonight, and she fell asleep. Would you unlock the front door so I can bring her in? Yes. We’re leaving the restaurant now and should be there in about ten minutes.” Ending the call, he dropped the cell phone back in his pocket and smiled down at the beautiful angel asleep in his arms. He gently pressed her head to his chest and held her tight. I love you, Randi Bolin.
“Well,” he said, breaking the silent tension. “So much for toasting the town, huh?”
They all laughed as Jason pulled away from the restaurant.