I’D LEFT A NOTE for Ford and Tizzy, though I only addressed it to Ford. I couldn’t afford to have the HFC think I was in contact with my squirrely-girl. Pearl and Leonidus took me in a black sports car that, if it hadn’t been inanimate, I might have thought was one of Pearl’s family members. Sleek, sexy, and just a hint of dangerous.
I put my head against the window when we pulled onto Elysium Street and perked up when Pearl parked at Lolo’s Diner. “Isn’t this place a little crowded for a meeting? Not that I’m complaining. I could go for some dessert and some coffee.”
“The bosses have rented the place out for the day. Apparently, your Witch-Shifter Coalition told them to get a place of their own.”
“Pearl,” Leo said disapprovingly.
“What?” She shrugged. “It’s not anything Ms. Kinsey can’t find out on her own. I mean, I’m certain someone will tell her that Kent Kinsey told Balderdash to go find his own litter box to piss in.” A hint of a smile played at the corners of her mouth.
“Loose lips,” the snowball said.
Pearl rolled her eyes. “Let’s get you inside,” she told me. “I’m sure whatever they have planned for your afternoon will be thrilling and educational.”
I walked into Lolo’s. Pearl and Leonidus stayed outside. I wished they would have escorted me inside. I was pretty sure under different circumstances, Pearl and I would have totally vibed.
“Have a seat, Ms. Kinsey,” Balderdash said. He and his cohorts were sitting on top of the diner’s counter, and their witches and warlocks stood behind them once again. “Any table is fine.”
Becksy Ansel, a teenage witch who waitressed at Lolo’s, brought me a cup of coffee, with two sugars and a small tub of French vanilla creamer. I smiled at her. She looked startled for a moment when she really looked at me. “I’m okay,” I told her. “I just forgot to moisturize this morning. Thank you for the coffee. How’s the pie today?”
“The apple is delicious,” Becksy said. “I’ll get you a slice.”
I applauded the brave girl. She wasn’t letting a group of intimidating cats intimidate her. She was currently dating Lincoln, Ford’s younger brother. And when I say younger, I mean like twenty-years-apart younger. Since Becksy was a witch, Bryant had found a way to rationalize that his younger son dating outside his species was somehow my fault.
“How’s Lincoln?” I asked.
Becksy blushed. “Good.” She wiped her hands on her apron. “I’ll be right back with the pie.”
“Thanks.” I turned my attention to the clowder, who were all looking at me like I’d grown another head. I guess they weren’t used to having insolence served up to them in the form of me. “What can I do for you hairballs?”
A blur of pink, wrinkly skin knocked my coffee cup from the table.
“Damn it, Lonnie!” I hadn’t added the cream and sugar yet, but the coffee was hot enough that what splashed on my shirt burned. “Get away from me, you wrinkled monster.”
“Have you looked at yourself in the mirror?” Lonnie thrust his chin in the air. “Pot meet kettle.”
“Yeah, well, my wrinkles won’t be permanent.”
“If you don’t accept me as your familiar, they will.”
Queenie, with her sharp British accent, shouted, “Enough. I am unamused.”
Doing my best Spike from the Buffy-verse impression, I said, “Well, I wouldn’t want to do anything to get your knickers in a twist, love.”
“Tell us where Lupitia and Tisiphone are hiding, Kinsey.” This came from Jane the tabby. “We don’t want to punish you. It’s not our way. We, familiars, are born for the sole purpose of partnership with a witch or warlock. Can’t you see that what Tisiphone and Lupitia have done goes against our very nature? So much so, that it’s never happened before.”
Devi, the female Bombay, added, “We can’t allow this anomaly to exist in the world. It could potentially tear apart the fabric of magic itself.”
“Seriously?” I asked, because, seriously, I wanted to know. What the black cat suggested seemed downright apocalyptic.
“Of course, we’re serious,” Balderdash said. “We wouldn’t have convened here in Paradise Falls if we weren’t serious, you fatuous witch.”
“Don’t you dare body shame me!” I protested. Betsy took that moment to bring me a new cup of coffee and a big slice of pie.
“I didn’t say you were fat, I said fatuous, you know, silly and idiotic.” Balderdash waved his paw in the air.
“I love my new curves,” I told him. “Someone must have really hurt you for you to be so cruel.” I knew what fatuous meant but riling these catholes up was a simple pleasure I couldn’t resist.
“Never mind,” he said with exasperation. “We don’t have time for all this. Terrible things will happen if we don’t break the familiar bond between Tisiphone and Lupitia.”
“How do you know any of this is true? It sounds like a meta-episode for Supernatural, you know, the ones that offer comic relief from the Armageddon plot lines.”
“This is not a television show,” Deva shouted. He was getting pretty riled up. “This is real life, and you are playing a dangerous game.”
“Just give me proof. Any proof that what you’re saying is true. According to you, this has never happened before, so how do you know it will all end badly? Is there a prophecy ball sitting on a dusty shelf somewhere that I should know about?”
John, the male tabby, said, “Jane’s warlock, Larry, has seen it in a prophecy.”
I glanced at the black-haired warlock behind Jane. His scathing gaze made me shiver.
“So, Larry.” I took a bite of the apple pie in front of me, because, well, pie. Savored the flavor for a moment and swallowed. I pointed the fork at Larry. “You’re a prophet. Give me an example of anything you’ve predicted coming true. Go ahead.”
“How about the fall of the Roman empire? Is that good enough for you?” John said, vehemently defending his sister’s warlock.
“Who didn’t see that coming? I mean, really, once the Visigoths got on the scene, Rome was doomed.” Thank you, History Channel, for that little documentary. I took a couple more bites of pie. When I was done, I stood up. “I am not your prisoner, and I’m done being interrogated.”
“You can’t just leave,” Queenie said.
“Watch me.”
“Let her go,” Balderdash told them. “For now.”
Outside, I nodded to Pearl and flipped off Leonidus as I walked straight out of the parking lot and turned west up the sidewalk of Elysium toward Twelfth Street. From there it was a couple of blocks to Valhalla, and my home away from home, aka the cop shop. I grabbed my phone from my purse and called the unknown number from the day before.
Ford picked up on the first ring. “Is everything okay?”
“I could ask you the same thing.” It was February and chillier out than I’d expected. The t-shirt and sweatpants would have been plenty warm if I still had my magic, but since I didn’t… “I’m a couple of blocks from Lolo’s heading toward the station on foot. Can you pick me up? It’s pretty cold out, and I didn’t bring a jacket.”
“Where’s your car?”
“At home with my jacket.” I sighed. “The HFC enforcer came and got me. The cats wanted to corner me again to find out where Tiz and Skip-To-My-Lou are hiding. They were pretty adamant about wanting them both, which makes me wonder if they are behind the cat’s disappearance. It doesn’t seem likely.”
“Did they hurt you?” I could hear the anger in his voice, so I skipped the part about Leo dropping me on my knees.
“I’m fine. Just freezing. I didn’t realize how many little things I used my magic for.” I rubbed my upper arm with my free hand. “Like keeping warm.” And dental hygiene. I wasn’t sure if now was the time to reveal that I’d used Ford’s toothbrush, though. “Can you come and get me?”
“I’m already on my way. I see you just ahead.”
I looked up the street, and Ford’s truck was less than a block away. Suddenly, I was self-conscious. Would my appearance shock him?”
He pulled up next to me, reached over and unlocked the passenger door. Being cold outweighed my vanity. I opened the door and climbed in, smoothing down my flyaway hair. “Hey,” I said.
Ford, who’s hair was suspiciously wet, put the car in Park. “Are you okay?”
“Did you just shower?” And since he hadn’t been home, the better question was, where had he showered? For the past couple of weeks, my guy had been acting secretive and covert.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said. But he ran his hand through his damp locks and gave me a sheepish look. “Honestly, Haze. I can’t talk about it.”
“It’s not another woman?”
He gave me an exasperated look. “How could I be with another woman? You are my mate.”
“I was,” I said. “But now that I’m human…” My fluttering heart made me feel light-headed, and I wanted to cry. Everything was so up in the air between the clowder’s investigation into Tizzy and my new fragile status.
A slight rumble emanating from Ford made me look up at him, but I couldn’t keep the quiver out of my lower lip.
He reached over to me and pulled me into his arms. He tilted my chin and looked deeply into my eyes. His blue gaze melting my panties. “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known, Hazel Kinsey. I thought that twenty years ago, I thought that last week, and I think that today. Don’t ever doubt how much I love you, woman. Never.”
“Even with the wrinkles and bruises?”
He nodded. “Yes, even with.”
“Even without the vanilla and rum scent?”
A sexy smile tugged at his lips. “Even without the smell of teen spirit.”
Tears crested my eyes. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you, Ford.” I shook my head. “Or maybe I’m your punishment. Were you bad in a past life?”
“If I was, I wouldn’t change a thing. Whatever happens with this familiar business, we will be together. If that means moving away from Paradise Falls and going on the run with Tizzy, then that’s what we’ll do. I will love you until I take my last breath. I don’t need a mate scent to tell me that you are the best part of my life.”
I crawled up on his lap and straddled his thighs. I rose up on my knees and cradled Ford’s face. I dipped my lips to his and kissed him. His hands slid under my t-shirt and up my back, his deft fingers unhooking my bra. He gently kneaded my spine in a way that felt good against the soreness as his tongue went all Conan the Conqueror with my mouth. Goddess, this man knew how to rev up my engine.
I squirmed against him, pleased when he moaned, his hard erection straining against his jeans. His hands wandered to the front of my body, his fingers slipping under the loose cups of my bra and caressing my ta-tas.
“Yes,” I whispered against his mouth. I rocked forward, mashing our bits together, the building tension in my body culminating in aching pleasure that begged to explode. “Yes, Ford. I’m going to—”
“Goddess, you two, it’s broad daylight in a busy section of town!” Tizzy squeaked from the passenger seat. “I’m going to start wearing a blindfold before I show up.”
Ford growled as he moved his hands from under my shirt. I slid into the middle area between him and the squirrel. “You have rotten timing,” I told her.
A car honked behind us, and I blushed. I’d been ready to have sex in the middle of a main street. Ack!
“You two need to get your priorities straight,” she chastised. “Have you heard anything about Lupitia? She could be hurt, Hazel. They could be torturing her for information about me. Have you thought about that while you’re bumping uglies like two horny dingoes?”
I flushed guiltily.
“We never actually got to the ugly bumping yet, thanks to you,” Ford said.
“I will squeeze your belly if I want you to say something, Teddy Ruxpin.”
“Stop it,” I said. “Both of you.”
My phone rang, saving me from having to say more. It was Tanya. “Hey,” I said. “I’m putting you on speakerphone. I have Ford and Tiz with me.”
“Bryant and I have been scouring the rules, and we can’t find anything specific about a familiar bonding with a familiar, but he thinks they are using some of the rules with broader language to charge Tizzy and Lupitia. There is also a directive that if a familiar’s witch bond is broken, they are to turn themselves over to the High Clowder for reassignment. If Tizzy didn’t know Lupitia’s witch died, you have a strong case to save her, but Lupitia wouldn’t have any defense. She would have known the instant it happened.”
“Crap,” I mouthed to Tiz. “Okay. Is there anything else that might be useful?”
“I’ve called around to some contacts in other paranormal communities. No one has ever heard of a familiar bonding with another familiar. It really is virgin territory. This case may set a precedent.”
“Caesar’s nuts! I’m not trying to be the next Roe versus Wade,” Tizzy said. “I don’t want to make history. I just want to live a quiet life with Hazel and Lupitia. I don’t even care about the extra power. I’d happily return it all, go magic-free, if I could just get my life back.”
“I’m sorry, Tisiphone,” Tanya said. “I wish we had better news.”
After she hung up, I looked at Ford. “Romy Quinn died in witch jail. Maybe the way she died could shed some light on how this familiar-familiar bond happened.”
“She killed herself, Haze. There isn’t anything mystical about suicide,” Tizzy said.
“No, but maybe if we knew how she killed herself, that might help.” I scrolled through the contacts on my phone until I found WIC, which stood for “Witch In Charge,” and hit the call button.
My grandmother picked up on the first ring. “Hello, Hazel. What can I do for you?”