Silence echoed in the room, and I honestly thought I'd had a stroke. "I'm sorry. What?"
Nicole continued, but it was less sure than before. "I told him I would take this money if he left us the hell alone. And he has, so as far as I'm concerned—"
"But you lied to me," I said. "You told me Gavon didn't want anything to do with us."
"It was for your own good—"
"How?"
"Because the sooner you got it through your head that he's a bad person, the better."
"You maybe could've asked me about it first," I said. "After all, he's my—"
"Don't you dare call him your father," Nicole snarled, rising to her feet. "He hasn't been a father to any of us. He's done nothing but ruin lives and make things worse for us. Everything was fine until he came back, and then Jeanie ended up dead."
"He didn't kill Jeanie, Cyrus did," I said. "And it's thanks to some bullshit political beef."
Nicole's face grew pale. "How…how do you know that?"
"Because guess who's been at school with me all year," I said, too angry to even care about the consequences. "James, Gavon's apprentice. He's the one who's enlightened me about all the stuff you two decided to keep from me."
Nicole gasped, covering her mouth, and Marie shook her head.
"Did you know that Gavon passed an edict so no one would come after us?" I said. "One week after Jeanie died. But nobody thought to tell me that, so I spent a year studying every book I could find and erecting at least twenty barrier spells around you and this house to keep us safe. And now I find out you're taking money from him and forcing him to stay out of my life?"
The whole thing became riotously hilarious to me. All this time, I'd assumed Gavon had kept his distance because he didn't want me in his life. His actions had left me confused and angry, too—especially when he acted like he really cared what happened to me. Now, to find out that he did care, but Nicole had been the one…
"I can't believe you didn't tell me," I said with a shake of my head.
"And I can't believe you didn't tell me his apprentice was skulking around your high school," Nicole said. "Lexie, he could've hurt you—"
"We're evenly matched," I replied hotly.
"Lexie," Marie spoke up for the first time, "look, I didn't agree with what Nicole did either, but—"
"And then you ran away for two years. Like you get a say in this conversation, Marie."
"Wow, fine," she said, holding up her hands. "You're on your own."
"Yeah, I am on my own," I said, standing up. "Because, apparently, my sisters think that I'm still the same kid they can keep secrets from. Well, you know what? I'm seventeen, and I'm one of the most powerful magicals in a generation. I come from not only a Clanmaster, but two Guildmasters. I'm not helpless, and I'm not an idiot, and I'm definitely not a child."
Nicole jumped to her feet. "You're seventeen, and until I say otherwise, you're grounded."
I waited for my magic to peter out, to disappear as it had with Jeanie. But it remained as powerful as ever under my skin. So I'd been right all along—Nicole didn't have the power to ground me.
"You can't ground me," I said with a scoff. "You're nothing but a useless potion-maker."
As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I regretted them. I might as well have slapped her.
"What the fuck, Lexie?" Marie cried. "Uncalled for."
"I think it's time for you to leave," Nicole said, eyeing me coldly.
"You know what? Fine. Here." I waved my hands, recalling all the barriers around the apartment. "See what happens when you don't have my magic keeping out all the bad guys."
And with that, I transported myself to the sparring beach and burst into tears.
"Went that well, huh?"
I lifted my head, knowing I was already red, puffy, and ugly, but only caring that James was there for me. I stumbled forward, sniffing and hiccupping as I sobbed, and fell into his arms. To his credit, he didn't pull away, but held me close to him while I got tears, snot, and who-knew-what-else onto his shirt.
"T-t-t-they've been l-l-l—" I started, but I couldn't get the words out.
"Deep breath," James said, wiping the tears from my face. "Can't have you passing out."
I sniffed, gulping down as much air as I could. "Nicole's been lying to me…"
"Yeah, and?"
My gaze shot to him. "You knew?"
"No, I didn't know, but this is the kind of stuff your family's always done," he said. "They lied to you about Gavon, they lied to you about this. What's new?"
He had a point there. I laid my head back on his chest, listening to his heartbeat and grateful for his presence. "I guess I thought…I don't know. I thought they'd changed. I thought after everything that happened, everything I've done…they'd…" I shook my head. "And Gavon. He never told me either."
"What are you babbling about?"
"Gavon gave my sister money, and she told him to leave us alone," I said, looking up at him. "All this time, I thought he didn't want me. But now…now… Now I don't know what to think." I sucked in a breath. "I took down the barriers around my house."
"Why?"
"Because I was mad. I should go home and put them back up. Apologize to my sisters. Fix this—"
"No. You want them to know how much you've done for them? Let them think they're in danger." He squeezed my hand. "Besides that, there's the edict, remember? Cyrus can't hurt them."
I frowned. "Yeah, but—"
He cocked his head to the side, brow furrowed, as if considering what to say. "You know what I think? I think you should forget them."
"W-what?"
"Forget them. You got into your top school. If being in high school this year has taught me anything, it's that that sort of thing is important. And you'll figure out the money." He gently brushed away the tears still falling down my face. "No more of this. You're a Warrior, damn it. We don't cry."
"Yes, we do."
"Look at me," he tilted my chin upward, "you are a strong, powerful magical. You could take on the entire New Salem Guild if you wanted to, and they know it. Your own Gram is terrified of you. And you're upset because some people lied to you?"
"But—"
"But what?"
"But it hurts," I whispered.
He pressed his lips against my forehead and my knees almost buckled at the gentleness of it. "Then let's do something to help you forget what they've done. We should celebrate."
"I don't know if I have the focus to transport right now." Or the energy. But I had nowhere else to go. Nicole had kicked me out. Something ached in my chest. Perhaps my heart was breaking
James tightened his hold around me, crushing me to his body. "Lucky for the both of us, I have plenty of focus to go around."
Cold air hit me first, freezing both my lungs and my tearstained cheeks. The rest of me was still surrounded by James' warm embrace. I didn't know if he was being kind because I was a mess or because he wanted to be; either way, I probably would've done anything he asked.
"Are you going to look or are you going to stare at my chest all night?"
I lifted my head and sucked in a breath. We were in a city—New York, by the skyline—on a rooftop overlooking what appeared to be the Brooklyn Bridge. But what had taken my breath was the table and chairs, the dinner, the candles—the wine.
"What…is this?" I said.
"I saw it in a movie once. Right? Girls like this sort of thing, don't they?" He released me to walk over to his setup, and held out the chair. "I'm supposed to do this."
"Did Gavon throw some rom-coms into your education?"
"I had to watch a few with…with the others," he said, and I was glad he didn't mention their names. Because this was looking an awful lot like a date.
"Did you really put all this together for me?" I asked, crossing the roof and sitting down.
"Yeah, I said we'd celebrate, didn't I? Although I wasn't expecting you to be hysterical when you returned from talking with your sisters."
"Sorry to disappoint."
He flashed a grin across the table as he magically uncorked the wine. "You never disappoint."
Okay, now I was sure this was a date and I was also sure my heart was about to explode from pumping so fast. I took the glass of wine from James and sipped it, trying not to look disgusted by the sour taste.
"Yeah," he said with a similar reaction. "I wasn't sure which one to buy."
"Buy? You mean you didn't…"
"Somebody told me that you can't just use magic to get what you want all the time."
"Is this a date?" I blurted, my loudness falling over the edge of the rooftop.
James chuckled as he took my hand, and kissed my knuckles. "Do you want it to be?"
I ripped my hand out of his and stood quickly, backing up a few steps. "James, I don't know what this is, and you're freaking me out."
"Ah shit," he said, throwing down his napkin. Suddenly, the charming James was gone and he was back to normal. "I was trying to do something nice for you. I'm sorry if I… But I thought that you…"
"I don't know what I think," I said, turning away from him and leaning over the roof. He came up beside me and we watched a ship putter along the river. "But this is…yeah, this is freaky."
"So is how I feel about you." He sighed deeply. "Lexie, I think I'm in love with you."
My eyes widened, and I became very interested in the ship. There was no way I'd just heard what I thought I'd heard.
Sure, I'd been crushing on James for a while. But that was firmly in the boyfriend-and-girlfriend, let's-hold-hands-and-go-to-the-movies kind of crush category. With one phrase, James had just leapfrogged over that into a much more serious and terrifying world. A world where I let him past the barrier into my apartment, where I trusted him not only with my life, but with the lives of my family.
"Lexie."
I shook my head, gaze still rooted on the ship and hoping it wouldn't burst into flames, because I was fairly sure I wasn't in control of my magic.
"Damn it, you're making me feel like an idiot here."
Finally, I glared at him. "You can't spring that kind of thing on me without warning."
"I already told you I liked you!"
"Like isn't love, James," I said. "You said you loved me. That's…"
"I know exactly what it means." He swallowed. "You haven't blasted me off the rooftop, so that's a good sign."
"I don't understand. You…we're just…we're friends?"
"My best friend," he said. "And somehow along the way, I fell in love with you. As much as I tried not to."
I snorted. "Thanks."
"You know what I mean. You realize this isn't…I mean, this isn't the most ideal situation." He closed his eyes. "Disaster waiting to happen."
"Then why did you tell me at all?" I said, folding my arms over my chest.
"Because I couldn't not tell you. Not the way you look right now. Not after seeing you so upset." He unfolded my arms and pulled me closer to him. "I'm going to kiss you again."
"Why are you asking all of a sudden?"
"Because you don't like it when I surprise you tonight."
He didn't wait for my response, pressing his lips to mine. Over the past few days, I'd become used to the soft pecks and brief flashes of something more passionate. Tonight, he was testing the waters, moving slow and deliberately to see if I'd object.
And although I didn't object, I also didn't know how to reciprocate.
He released me. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."
"It's not that. It's just…" I whispered, staring at the skin on his cheeks instead of his eyes. "I really thought you just thought of me like all the other girls you've dated."
He chuckled, and the vibration tickled my stomach. "I haven't dated anyone but you in weeks."
I glanced up at him, realizing he was right. The last girl he'd dated was Mary Catherine in January, and that had been a one-week thing. I'd thought he'd just been too preoccupied with his induction match but…
"Halfway through that date with MC, I realized I wanted to be with you instead. I don't want to be with someone I can't be honest with or someone I can't be myself around. I can be myself around you." He brushed a hair behind my ear. "And you don't give me an inch."
"I don't, do I?" My heart pounded in my chest. He was so close, and I was about to fall off the edge. Would it be so bad if I did? "What makes you think you're in love with me?"
"That's easy," he said, slipping his hand down to rest against my neck. "I love watching your mind work. The way you carefully consider every move before you make it. It's what makes you such a terrible sparrer." His eyes glittered. "And such a horrible person to fall in love with."
"Oh?" I said weakly. "Why's that?"
"Because I told you I loved you five minutes ago, and you haven't responded," he whispered with a feather light kiss on my lips. "But you know what I love most about you?"
I swallowed, my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth.
"That your emotions are always written on your face."
His kiss was not innocent this time. Instinct took over and I leaned into him, sliding my hands around his waist. He pulled me against him, and I melted into this new feeling and trying to scare away the questions and fears—because I knew I felt the same. I had fought it tooth and nail but he was right. There was no hiding how I felt.
I took his shirt and pulled him back to me, granting him permission to take things a little further. His fingertips brushed my back as they slipped under my shirt, and I pressed myself even closer. There was something stirring, something he'd awakened back at New Year's, something that I was both ready and not ready for.
"We shouldn't… This is already so complicated," he whispered against my cheek. "I should go—"
"I don't really want to be alone tonight." The words came out before I could stop them.
"Lexie, I don't know if we should—"
"I mean, I don't know if that means I want to…" I swallowed. "But I don't want to stop. Not yet." Because we stopped, I might've wised up and realized this was going to be an epic mistake.
But I didn't care. I was in love with James Riley.
Smarter instincts be damned.
"Would you come back to my apartment with me?"