As my eyes got used to the darkness, I could see the shape of the hanging flesh. Small and stout. I went a little closer. It was a buck. I breathed out. I was sorry for the buck, but glad it was not Jessie.
I touched its shoulder. The body was very cold, but not frozen. It was a little klipspringer. What kind of man would kill a klipspringer?
I hugged my arms around my body, glad for every gram of fat I had. As I moved around the giant fridge, I rubbed my hands together and blew on my fingers. In the dim light I saw six more hanging bodies. My tummy was in a knot, but I made myself check each one.
A young kudu, his horns just starting to curve.
A female eland.
Two steenbuck, a male and a female. I wondered if they were mates.
A baby zebra.
And a mama zebra, who looked pregnant to me.
I am no expert on hunting, but I know there are some rules, and this man didn’t care about them. He was also killing animals in summer when the hunting season was in winter.
Under the kudu was a dark pool of blood. It looked a bit smudged and I leaned down to have a closer look. There was a handprint in the kudu’s blood on the cement. Next to it were small dark initials: J.M. Jessie Mostert had been here. But where was she now?
My heart called: Jessie. Where are you, Jessie?
I could picture her face, smiling at me, like she was glad to see me. It made a warm ache in my cold chest. It kept me going as I searched the room. There was a big freezer against a wall, with a strip of blue light under it. I was not ready to look in there yet, so I studied the floor and walls for more messages from Jessie. Nothing.
I went to the freezer. It had a big padlock on the lid, but was not locked. I lifted the lid up. Inside, there was a light, and I could see plastic bags of meat. Mince, sausage, steaks. There was no packaging on it, but it looked a lot like the game meat I had bought from the Spar. There was no sign of Jessie.
I heard a loud rattling sound. It was my teeth, chattering. I felt nauseous. I closed the lid and folded my arms on it and leaned my head down.
I saw Jessie’s face again, this time frowning at me. Don’t give up, Tannie M, she was saying.
It gave me that warm feeling in my chest again and my feet started stamping, and my hands rubbed my arms.
‘I’m going to find Jessie,’ I told the frozen meat.
I heard feet on the steps outside. When the door opened and a torch shone in my eyes, I walked straight towards it.
‘What have you done with her?’ I said.
But I’m not sure if the words got right out of my mouth because I swallowed so hard when I saw the big knife in his hand.