‘Tell me what happened, Maria,’ said Kannemeyer.
We were bumping across the dirt road, the heater turned on full blast. The outside of my skin was warming up but the cold was deep in my bones.
I gave him my story, right from the beginning.
‘I woke up this morning thinking about the study at Dirk’s house,’ I said.
I told him my thoughts about the papers and my visit to the Spar, and my brainwave about the recipe books. I did not care if Kannemeyer got cross with me for doing stupid things. What mattered was finding Jessie. Dead or alive.
He didn’t get cross, he just listened, and asked me questions here or there. His chest was still bare and he smelled like earth and rain and nutmeg.
We stopped at the gate to the nature reserve and he said: ‘Look at that steenbokkie.’
The little steenbuck was lying in the shade of a gwarrie tree, its big ears pricked up. When Kannemeyer got out of the car to open the gate, it darted away across the veld.
We drove through the puddles on the dirt road and back onto the tarmac. I told Kannemeyer about the smell of pepper and Van Wyk’s feeble moustache and the dead animals and what I said to the murderer about love. And when it got to the end of my story, I even told him how I flew. But I didn’t tell him that it was the fire of love in my heart that made me fly like a phoenix. Or that when I thought of him and his chestnut moustache I was not afraid.
Instead I asked him: ‘How did you find me?’
‘I suppose we found you because of Boetie,’ he said. ‘And Harriet. She was looking at the notes on your whiteboard, and she remembered Jessie wanted to talk to her cousin at the Spar. You were also taking a bit long to come from the Spar, so she drove across there. But there was no sign of you, or Boetie.’
He ran his hand across his chest. The sun was peeping through the clouds now, and the light showed up the red and silver in his chest hair.
‘She was worried about you,’ he said, ‘and came across to the police station. We had Marius there, driving his Firestones across the sand. Piet said his tracks were okay, but we were about to go and search his house anyway. Harriet convinced us that we must first find Boetie. She got me worried about you.’
He glanced at me and I looked down at my hands. They were still shaking.
‘It’s funny they are still so cold,’ I said. ‘So did you find Boetie?’
‘Ja. He had gone to Suurbraak to get gerook with his friends. He was still stoned but we sobered him up and the story came out. He bunked work today because he was scared he’d pissed off his boss.’
‘I’m glad he was okay. Boetie. I thought maybe Van Wyk had got to him . . . ’
‘He’d told Jessie that Van Wyk had taken a bottle of pomegranate juice.’
‘Ja,’ I said, ‘Van Wyk told me. Marietjie overheard them and ran to her boss.’
Kannemeyer carried on: ‘Boetie doesn’t know why Jessie got so excited about it, and rushed off like that. He realised Marietjie had overheard them and saw Marietjie going into Van Wyk’s office straight after Jessie left. He left work fast and hitched a ride to Suurbraak.’
‘Did you talk to Marietjie?’
‘She said Van Wyk is allowed to take from his own shop. It’s not stealing. Then she started crying and wouldn’t say any more. We searched his house in town and then his game farm. Thank God we got there in time. Before he . . . ’ Kannemeyer was gripping the steering wheel tightly. His arms had that same soft chestnut hair on them. ‘If you . . . ’
He looked at me, and I saw that sadness in his eyes. I wanted to reach out and put my hand on his. But I didn’t.
His eyes were on the road now, as he turned the wheel, taking the turn-off towards my house.
‘Sergeant Vorster’s gone to join the search,’ said Kannemeyer, as we parked in my driveway.
‘That’s where you should be,’ I said. ‘Where I should be.’
‘Ja, ja, I’m going back. Let’s just get you warm and dry. Harriet will be here soon.’
My hands were still shaking and I struggled to open the van door. He came around and helped me out, keeping that kudu skin wrapped around me.
He took me into my house and went straight to the bathroom and started the water running. Then he found the Klipdrift brandy, poured a small shot and stirred in a spoon of sugar. I enjoyed watching him moving around, without his shirt. I tried not to stare at the shape of his broad chest, and its layer of chestnut fur, and the soft hair that ran down past his belly button to the top of his pants. When he turned away I could look at the muscles moving under the brown skin on his back. He gave me the glass of sweet brandy. With the shivering and all, I spilled some, but a mouthful got down my throat and made a warm line to my belly.
He called me when the bath was ready, and I put my fingertips in the water.
‘Eina,’ I said. ‘It’s hot.’
He leaned down and put his elbow in.
‘No,’ he said, ‘it just feels hot because you’re so cold. But I’ll cool it down and you can add hot when you’re in.’
He added cold water then he took the kudu skin off me. He did not take his shirt back.
‘I’ll be just outside,’ he said. ‘If you need me.’
He left and closed the bathroom door. I took his shirt from my shoulders and held it to my face and breathed in his smell. Then I put the shirt on the laundry basket and tried to undo the buttons on my pale blue dress, but my hands just couldn’t get it right. I tried to lift the dress over my head but that was worse, so I pulled it down again.
‘Maria,’ he said. He was still outside the door. ‘Are you doing okay?’
‘My buttons,’ I said.
‘Do you need help?’ he said.
I nodded.
‘Can I come in?’
I nodded again. It was hard for me to ask out loud for that kind of help.
‘Maria?’
He knocked and came in.
‘I can’t undo my buttons,’ I said.
My dress was still damp and it clung to my breasts. He took a step towards me. I could smell his breath. It was like cinnamon bark and honey. My breasts were moving up and down with my breathing, though I was asking them to stay still.
‘Maybe we should wait for Hattie,’ I said.
He took my cold hands between his warm palms. For a moment they stopped shivering. He looked into my eyes.
‘I don’t think we should wait,’ he said.
He let go of my hands and undid my top button.