CHAPTER FOUR

SPARKED BY OTHERS

“My father always said, ‘Malala will be free as a bird.’”

—Malala Yousafzai, I Am Malala

To the outside world, Malala Yousafzai was a very unlikely role model. She was born in 1997 in Pakistan’s Swat Valley to parents Ziauddin and Toor Pekai Yousafzai in a culture that reveres boys. Fortunately, her family was different, and her parents were overjoyed at her arrival. They named their baby Malala, after a nineteenth-century Pashtun heroine, Malalai Maiwund, who encouraged the Afghans not to give up their fight against the British.

Ziauddin, in particular, formed a special bond with his daughter. He was adamant that she would not become invisible like so many other girls in their culture. “Women are not known in public and their names are only known to family members,” he explained in a BBC interview.¹ He did not want that fate for his daughter. “Malalai [the Pashtun heroine] had had a voice and I wanted my Malala to have the same—that she would have freedom and be brave and be known by her name,” said Ziauddin to the BBC.

FINDING HER VOICE

Malala’s father was a teacher and education activist, having started his own school for boys and girls. It was in that school that Malala would make appearances even as a toddler. Her father told stories about how Malala would wander into classes before she could even talk and pretend she was the teacher.² She shared her father’s thirst for knowledge, and thanks to those appearances in class, she became well known in her community.

While her early years in the Swat Valley were idyllic, when the Taliban moved in to control the region in 2007, things changed dramatically for ten-year-old Malala. Under Taliban control, television and music were suddenly banned, cultural activities stopped, and, in 2008, girls were prohibited from attending school. To make clear their position, the Taliban began destroying schools; by the end of 2008, four hundred were lost.

But Malala would not be denied. Believing in her right to an education, Malala spoke out publicly on Pakistani TV against the Taliban. “How dare the Taliban take away my basic right to education?” she asked, with her father standing by her side.

A FATHER LEADS BY EXAMPLE

When supporters marvel at Malala’s courage, passion, and poise, her father responded in an interview with the London Telegraph:³ “Don’t ask me what I did. Ask me what I did not do. I did not clip her wings, and that’s all.”

In Pakistani society at that time, however, many families did curtail their daughters’ activities, he explained. Girls were required to stay home rather than attend school, and when they went out in public, they had to have an escort starting at age thirteen. If they did anything that called into question the honor of their family, they could be killed. Ziauddin did not want that kind of life for his daughter.

Ziauddin recounted in a National Geographic interview how he encouraged Malala to speak up in school. Not only did this hone her public speaking skills, it also helped Malala find her voice.

In 2009, Malala found additional outlets for her voice. She secretly began to blog about life in the Swat Valley under the Taliban rule on the BBC’s Urdu language site, using the pen name Gul Makai to protect her identity. Her first post was titled “I am afraid” and described her fear of a coming war and the nightmares she was having about going to school in defiance of the Taliban. Had she actually gone to school, she and her parents would have risked public punishment and even death.

In May 2009, the Yousafzais, along with one million other residents, were forced to flee their home when the Pakistani army moved in to try and force the Taliban out.

BECOMING A PUBLIC FIGURE

Around this time, Malala’s identity as the BBC blogger was revealed, and the New York Times featured Malala and her father in a documentary about their efforts to protect educational opportunities for girls in Swat.

Several weeks later, the Pakistani army successfully beat back the Taliban in Swat Valley, and the Yousafzais were able to return to Swat and Malala to her father’s school. However, Malala recognized that the fight for girls’ right to attend school was not over. She and her father used their new celebrity status to draw attention to the issue of education access for girls.

In the National Geographic interview,⁴ Ziauddin spoke about his pride at being known primarily as “Malala’s dad”: “My friends in Swat, when they used to invite me to the podium, they used to say, ‘Now we invite Malala’s father.’ So it was really something very inspiring. In a patriarchal society, men and women both, they are always known by their family, and I think I am one of those few—hardly any—who is known by his daughter. I’m very proud of it, and I’m thankful to God. I’m a blessed father to be known by my daughter.”

For her efforts, Malala was nominated for the International Children’s Peace Prize in 2011 and was awarded Pakistan’s National Youth Peace Prize. Despite the positive recognition, there was also a drawback. Malala’s newfound prominence and outspoken opposition to Taliban rule made her a target. Although her family never imagined anyone would actually try to kill her—a child—that’s exactly what happened.

On October 9, 2012, while seated on a bus headed home from school, three members of the Taliban stopped the bus, and a gunman boarded it and called out for fifteen-year-old Malala. On finding her, he fired three shots at her, hitting her in the head, neck, and shoulder and injuring two of her friends. She was critically injured and flown to the United Kingdom for treatment. Fortunately, there was no brain damage, though Malala had to endure multiple surgeries, including several to repair a facial nerve on the left side of her face, which had been paralyzed.

In March 2013, Malala returned to school, this time in Birmingham, UK.

Despite the attack, Malala soon continued her campaign for girls’ education with her father by her side. On her sixteenth birthday, Malala spoke in New York at the United Nations. Later that year she published her first book, I Am Malala: The Girl Who Stood Up for Education and Was Shot by the Taliban.

Since then, Malala has continued her campaign to make education for girls a reality everywhere. She has traveled extensively, met with world leaders, opened a school for Syrian refugee girls in Lebanon, and won the Nobel Peace Prize.

Although admired for his staunch support of his daughter, Ziauddin explained to National Geographic why Malala once stated that “he named me Malala, he did not make me Malala”: “As a parent, you can only inspire your child. It’s not like engineering. You can’t construct somebody. I can simply inspire my sons and my daughters.”⁵

THE IMPORTANCE OF OTHERS IN INSPIRATION

Clearly, Malala’s father had a tremendous influence on her. He encouraged her, supported her, and even inspired her to stand up for what she believed was right, despite potential danger. He allowed her to be whatever she wanted to be, which turned out to be an education activist like himself.

She was also inspired by the girls around her, whose education was limited or prohibited simply due to their gender. The audiences she spoke to increased her inspiration. Even the Taliban’s denial of her right to learn and have a voice inspired her. Overall, the people around her were great sources of inspiration for Malala.

Malala is not unusual. From both decades of research and common sense, we know that the people around us are critically important to our development. They impact every aspect of our lives, serving to inspire us and expand our opportunities.

That means that you, too, can draw on the power of other people as engines that ignite inspiration in your life. There are six engines of inspiration that come from those around you:

1. Belonging

2. Admiring our mentors and heroes

3. Getting a lift

4. Serving others

5. Sharing a group mission

6. Being vulnerable and transparent

These situations, relations, and interactions spark emotions, ideas, and opportunities that can lead to sustained inspiration, as Malala’s father did, and continues to do, for her.

1. BELONGING

Recognizing what we share with others in our network, whether it’s common beliefs, common interests, or common goals, forges a sense of community, of belonging. We share time with people, which reminds us of what we share and what we mean to them, much like what occurs within a tribe. It’s self-affirming—the opposite of feeling isolated and alone. This sense of belonging, of feeling connected to others, can lay the groundwork for inspiration.

In relationships in which we feel supported, safe, seen, and appreciated, we can experience the courage to take risks, to be better versions of ourselves. Relationships can challenge and support us in positive ways—to stretch, to grow. When we have a shared history, they can also help us see how we’ve changed and evolved over time. We create meaning through telling our stories to others and hearing theirs; it’s a way to share and express our identity and our sense of place within the group. When our relationships are positive ones, we can catch feelings of inspiration from others, experiencing emotion contagion.

In our interview with Dennis Driver, an inspiring human resources leader, he talked about how his sense of belonging to his alma mater, Stillman College, still enriches him as he serves on its board of trustees. In response to the question, What inspires you?, Driver talked about how listening to the student choir stirs his sense of belonging: “Whenever I have listened to this choir sing the song ‘In This Very Room,’ I am moved to tears. The reason is they are singing about the power of Christ in the room and the power of the people in the room, and the role that Christ has in their lives. It touches me deeply as I think about my role on the board, and the students who are singing and representing the body of the school, every voice mattering, every voice counting, and the lives being changed through this education.”⁶

The Harvard Study of Adult Development found that positive relationships and the sense of belonging that results can even help us live longer.⁷ This ongoing research project began in 1938 with the aim of finding out “the clues to leading happy and healthy lives.” According to Robert Waldinger, director of the study, a psychiatrist at Massachusetts General Hospital, and a professor at Harvard Medical School: “The surprising finding is that our relationships and how happy we are in our relationships has a powerful influence on our health.” In addition to delaying physical and mental decline, close relationships “are what keep people happy throughout their lives.”⁸

The reverse is also true. People who lack close personal relationships and feel alone suffer health risks comparable to smoking, high blood pressure, and obesity. People with strong social ties are 50 percent less likely to die prematurely, concluded a review of 148 studies.⁹ Likewise, Dan Buettner, National Geographic Fellow and author of The Blue Zones: Lessons from Living Longer from the People Who’ve Lived the Longest, has traveled all around the world and concluded that social connection and strong community bonds together are one of the most important factors that contribute to happiness and longevity.¹⁰

Think about groups where you have felt a strong sense of belonging and that inspired you. What stands out about these groups? What did others do and what did you do to create that sense of connection? In the groups where you feel less attached, what can you do to create stronger connections to increase your belonging? Look for similarities, for common interests and shared perspectives between you and the other members—even if they have nothing to do with what the group is about. Find the human connections.

2. ADMIRING OUR MENTORS AND HEROES

The people around us who show us how best to behave, how to achieve, and how to succeed are our mentors and heroes. Our research has shown that parents, teachers, role models, and people who believed in us and/or took a stand for us early in life or in our career and inspired us to take action in a new way can shape us over the long term.

Mentors and heroes don’t have to be well-known figures or celebrities to be engines of inspiration, as long as they are mentors and heroes to us. They are people around us who love us or believe in us. They see our potential and want us to be successful. They help us recognize who we are and all that we can accomplish if we try, and they help us on our path. They are salient and formative to our evolving identities and lives. Recall Captain Irving meeting his hero Captain Gary Robinson in a bookstore, which changed the course of his life and career forever; to this day, Irving stays in close touch with Robinson who plays the role of a mentor.¹¹

Recent research on hero worship shows how interaction with, and stories about, heroes provide us knowledge about how to be heroic, and at the same time, these stories energize and inspire us.¹² Stories of heroism lead to elevated emotions (a mix of awe, reverence, and admiration) that literally make us want to become better people. Heroes and mentors also provide an identity link that compels us to be better. If we can identify with those we look up to, if we can find a way we are similar to them, we are inspired to be more like them. For example, a 2017 study of undergraduate women pursuing degrees in science, technology, engineering, and mathematics found these students were more likely to continue their pursuit if they had a female mentor.¹³

But heroes can also be icons—people we don’t know personally but who inspire us to be more like them or to share their values or mission. Yale School of Management professor Amy Wrzesniewski’s experience with faculty mentors is an illustration of this. During her first year as an undergraduate at the University of Pennsylvania, Wrzesniewski took a job working within the psychology department for one of the professors.¹⁴ One day, another faculty member, Paul Rozin, whose office was just a few doors down, asked if she wanted to help out with coding data. “It was fascinating!” she told us in our interview with her.

When she finished the coding work, Professor Rozin asked her, “You want to do research, don’t you?”

“Yes!” said Wrzesniewski. “Why don’t you come work with me next year then,” he replied.

So she did, continuing to work with him during her sophomore, junior, and senior years at Penn. He became her “academic father,” he proudly proclaims, and with which she agrees wholeheartedly. Wrzesniewski admired Rozin’s intellectual curiosity and his ability to follow his research to explore new subjects, to ask new questions. Where other professors built their careers on their study of a single subject, Rozin’s interests were forever evolving. He started his career as a biological psychologist and had advanced from there, continuously exploring, and she appreciated his scholarly curiosity.

He included her in meetings with high level people and helped her develop advanced critical thinking skills. Observing his work was a great aha for Wrzesniewski.

She’s the first woman tenured at Yale in the organizational behavior department in the School of Management. The impact of her research on meaning and purpose in work is groundbreaking. Her research is seminal in showing how important it is for our work to be meaningful.

“People inspire me, and the people that I am inspired by are people that have achieved greatness against the odds. Whether things were stacked against them and they did it in spite of physical, mental, socioeconomic obstacles, whatever that might be.”

—Helen Russell, Chief People Officer, Atlassian

Rozin’s belief in her has propelled her career. Long-term mentoring, such as Rozin’s involvement in shaping Wrzesniewski’s career, has the potential for providing continued inspiration and support, but even passing connections can make a difference.

Chance The Rapper remembers receiving a phone message out of the blue when he was a teenager from the rapper Common encouraging him to follow his dream. Those words of encouragement fueled his commitment to the music business.¹⁵

Common recalls: “Years ago, my grandmother asked me to call her friend’s grandson. ‘I want you to give him some words of encouragement,’ she said. ‘He wants to be a rapper.’ She gave me his number, and I left him a message.” So, Common says, “I told him to keep following his dreams. Then I forgot all about it.”

Years later, Common’s teen daughter played a mixtape by a new artist that sounded vaguely familiar. “I could tell he really knew hip-hop,” he said. When the two finally met in person, Chance told him, “You won’t remember this, but you called me when I was a kid.” It was a call that helped launch his career.

So many of the leaders we interviewed talked about mentors and heroes who inspired them. These examples reflect what we know about the encouragement heroes and mentors give us, which is an emotional lift, leading to our next engine of inspiration.

○ Make a list of five to ten of the most significant relationships in your life right now.

○ Which ones are most inspiring to you and why?

○ For those that are less inspiring (but still positive) to you right now, consult the list of engines in this chapter and identify three new ways to spark inspiration in them.

○ What are the relationships in your life that provide no inspiration or are dragging you down? What do you want to do about these? Can you flip them to be more inspiring?

○ To whom are you an inspiration and why?

○ How can you bring more inspiration to others through relationships?

3. GETTING A LIFT

As human beings, we are by nature social creatures, thriving on connection and support from others, so much so that we can get a positive emotion lift simply from being around people. When people around us are actively supporting us, cheerleading us, the positive emotion lift can lead to feelings of inspiration. Many of the leaders we interviewed mentioned being lifted up by someone else who believed in them and actively cheered them on. Different than mentoring, the person doing the cheering could be a friend, a stranger, or even a celebrity who notices a need to help and steps in to encourage. Famous for this, Oprah champions people she loves to the point where the term the Oprah Effect refers to the boost in sales, traffic, or attention someone receives after being on the show.¹⁶

Another kind of lift comes through personal connections. Your champion doesn’t have to have Oprah’s fame or platform. Within business, leaders often get inspired by others giving them a boost, sometimes when they need it the most. Examples abound. Help in business has even been institutionalized in the form of executive groups like the Entrepreneurs’ Organization,¹⁷ a global network of entrepreneurs designed to lift one another up. Other examples are tech incubators, such as the organization Plug and Play Tech Center,¹⁸ which offers opportunities for businesses to get boosted through accelerators that are designed to spark inspiration around new business approaches, products, and ways to grow revenue.

“Our goal is to connect entrepreneurs with all of the resources they need, no matter what stage, so they can focus on building their company. Time is the most important resource they have, so we aim to lift and accelerate their business and save them time by connecting them with money, customers, and expertise,” says Michael Olmstead, Plug and Play’s chief revenue officer.¹⁹

Take a look at your personal network. Of the people you know, how many can give you a meaningful lift? Who are the people who expand your view of what’s possible? Who makes you feel more confident? What would it be like to ask one of those people for a leg up? Also consider, to whom have you offered a lift recently?

4. SERVING OTHERS

Seeing a need or opportunity to serve others is also an engine of inspiration, pushing us to take action and help. As humans, we have an innate drive to affiliate with and support one another. For many people, this translates into a sense of responsibility to help those in need. While most people naturally react with sadness and pity over others’ difficult situations, some become inspired to take action in a helpful way—to do something that will improve the lives of those who are less fortunate.

Usually, the closer to home or the more personal the connection to the person in need, the stronger the inspiration to help. It could be a child in your daughter’s class at school, a dad at your company, a family at your church or temple or other house of worship—typically the more connected you are to them, the greater the likelihood you’ll feel inspired to get involved in helping them.

Many leaders have been inspired to take action in big ways as a result of seeing people they care about in need. Maggie Doyne saw a chance to make a difference for orphans in Nepal. The eighteen-year-old had just graduated from high school and decided to travel around the world before committing herself to more schooling. She eventually found herself in some of Nepal’s most poverty-stricken communities. In one, she came across a young girl, called Hima, selling rocks to help provide food for her family. Touched by Hima’s resourcefulness and resolve, Doyne spent some of her money to buy the girl food and clothes and paid for her school tuition, so she wouldn’t have to continue splitting rocks every day.²⁰

She changed one child’s life, and then another and another, until she decided she needed to do something bigger, that would have a larger impact on the community. So she took her five thousand dollars in life savings from babysitting money and used it to buy land in Surkhet, with the goal of building a home for children of families who couldn’t afford to feed them. She then reached out to her hometown of Mendham, New Jersey, to ask for help to build the home and fill it with needed supplies.²¹

The Kopila Valley Children’s Home opened in 2008 and is now home to more than forty youngsters, all of whom are cared for by Doyne and a team of “aunties and uncles.” Two years later, in 2010, the Kopila Valley School was built and serves more than 350 students in Surkhet. Doyne cofounded the BlinkNow Foundation to continue to fund work in Surkhet and to change the lives of children in the area.²²

Inspiration to help can also follow tragedy. Following the 2012 shooting of twenty six- and seven-year-old students and six teachers and administrators at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut, plastic surgeon Dr. Michael Baroody was spurred to action to try to make a difference. He founded the 12.14 Foundation to provide Newtown-area students with a positive, creative outlet to help them overcome the feelings of grief, anger, fear, and sadness that had gripped the town and the country for months.

As he was forming the 12.14 Foundation, he researched expertise in leadership and sought a meeting with retired brigadier general Tom Kolditz, who was at the Yale School of Management at that time. As our firm, InspireCorps, was part of Kolditz’s leadership coaching team, he asked that we join. During the meeting Baroody explained why he felt compelled to take action: “I couldn’t let these kids grow up in the shadow of this event, in the darkness. We had to bring light back to the community.”²³

One way he felt he could help do this was through the performing arts. He was not the typical performing arts leader, but he recognized that he had an opportunity to shape children’s lives. He wanted to help children challenge themselves in new and creative ways and work together in a community to make something beautiful. As part of the 12.14 Foundation, he established a summer theater program during which students from Newtown work together to write, practice, and then perform a musical in collaboration with Broadway performers and under the leadership of New York–based theater director Michael Unger. Baroody partnered with the Yale School of Management and InspireCorps to incorporate content on leadership development into the summer theater program so students could internalize how they were growing as human beings and leaders during this process. In our interview with Baroody, he talked about his spark of inspiration being the opportunity to serve and empower children to “rise above, go beyond” (the 12.14 Foundation tag line) what they thought possible for themselves.²⁴

Recent survey-based research by Roy Baumeister in the Journal of Positive Psychology shows that helping others contributes a sense of meaning in life.²⁵ It was Aristotle who said that we find fulfillment by loving others rather than by being loved.²⁶ Why does this happen? Netta Weinstein and Richard Ryan have researched this, giving subjects the option to give money to someone else, or not, and then compared them to a control group whose members were mandated to give and also told how much to give. They found that the group that chose to give money experienced a higher sense of well-being because some of their psychological needs, such as feeling competent and connected, were being met.²⁷

Research has shown that individuals feel better about themselves and their support of people and organizations in need when they know how the money will be used. The donor donates more, the fund-raiser raises more, and the donor feels wealthier after having donated, Yale School of Management’s Zoë Chance discovered. Though giving away money should, logically, have made donors feel less wealthy, the opposite was the case.²⁸ This is likely why Charles Best’s organization DonorsChoose.org is so successful—because donors know exactly whom their money is benefiting and how.

This research was confirmed in a study done by Adam Grant and a team at the University of Pennsylvania. Grant arranged for a group of call center workers to meet with scholarship students who benefit from money the call center workers produce. That five-minute meeting was enough to inspire callers to greater performance. A month later, callers who had interacted with the scholarship students spent more than twice as many minutes on the phone and brought in vastly more money: a weekly average of $503.22, up from $185.94. “Even minimal, brief contact with beneficiaries can enable employees to maintain their motivation,” the researchers reported.²⁹

Think about how great it feels to have others help you. Who in your life could benefit from your help? What opportunities do you have for helping others in need, through your work or outside it, such as involvement with a charity or community organization? You’ll serve your own inspiration by helping others, and you’ll do some good.

5. SHARING A GROUP MISSION

Another inspiration engine that hinges on others is having a shared mission. Just as Malala and her father unified over their shared mission related to education, groups that bond over a common goal or mission are able to achieve performance levels well above what was expected or has been obtained before. The act of working together toward a unifying objective sparks inspired thinking, ideas, and actions. It can also create a great sense of meaning and connection. Sebastian Junger, author of Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging,³⁰ in his TED Talk speaks to the deep bond of brotherhood soldiers feel and miss when back in civilian life.

That was certainly the case in a study that found common mindsets improve a sense of team and team performance. John E. Mathieu, along with four other researchers, formed fifty-six undergraduate teams who “flew” missions on a flight-combat simulator and found that teams who shared team- and task-based mental models had better processes and performance. This finding has important ramifications for teams in the workplace.³¹

In today’s organizations, where individuals are increasingly motivated by finding meaning in their work, reports Wrzesniewski,³² a shared sense of what binds the team and what the team values are particularly inspiring. Marissa Thalberg, global chief brand officer of Taco Bell, speaks to us about the power of a shared group mission when working on a team and crafting communication to bring the team and external audience together and elicit positive emotional connection.³³

Shared mission is an engine of inspiration because it is a celebration of a common purpose. Although individuals may have different roles and objectives, the group itself has a goal that everyone is working toward. That mission strengthens individuals’ connections to one another and to the core objective, whether it’s world peace, banning cosmetic testing on animals, or allowing skateboarding on sidewalks.

A recent example of the inspiring power of a shared mission involved Tom Kolditz, mentioned earlier. When Hurricane Harvey was bearing down on Houston, Texas, in August 2017, most of Rice University shut down and sent its personnel home for their safety. But Kolditz, the founding director of The Doerr Institute for New Leaders at Rice and former US army brigadier general, decided that the institute would remain open through the hurricane. Kolditz said: “Lillie [institute cofounder] and I had just finished teaching a class virtually on Zoom, because we didn’t want to cancel it because of the hurricane. And at the end… we were supposed to have a group photo. Lillie got all their images on the screen and took a screenshot and emailed it to me as our group photo. That act alone started to inspire me… I thought, we’re not gonna let a hurricane get in our way.” Kolditz e-mailed the photo to the Provost, saying that The Doerr Institute would remain open during the hurricane and would be happy to help if needed.³⁴

Three hours later, the provost called him back, asking, “Rice students want to help people trapped all over Houston. Do you think you can help mobilize students around a relief effort?” Classes were canceled, so the students were available to help. Kolditz mobilized his team like a tactical operation in the military. Within twenty-four hours, with the help of a volunteer computer science professor and other volunteers, he devised a system for deploying groups of students and tracking where they were going and when they returned safely. He helped secure 130 vehicles and more than two thousand students who were passionate about serving their community, making a difference for thousands in need and keeping all of them safe and accounted for as the cleanup began.³⁵

Although most organizations have a written mission statement, the “mission” we appeal to here is when we feel truly connected to and inspired by shared values and goals. In the case of Lin-Manuel Miranda’s composition of the musical Hamilton, he created a powerful mission to bring to life a historic story that could shed light on modern issues, like the immigrant experience. This mission was embedded in the fabric of the musical, not just in the content of the songs but in the entire production process: the cast was diverse and profits were shared, for example.³⁶ The result of this powerful and embedded mission was an incredibly inspired cast and crew that brought forward new possibilities in theater.

The connection that happens as a result of a shared mission or belief can be inspirational. When individuals express their own feelings and perspectives on an issue, they generate the opportunity for like-minded others to connect with them. Then together, the group can work to accomplish a collective result that everyone in the group feels aligned to and part of—and inspired by.

Think of the groups you’re a part of—at work, at home, in your community. Which have a mission that inspires you? If it’s most, terrific. If it’s only a few, consider launching or joining a group with a shared mission that is inspiring to you.

6. BEING VULNERABLE AND TRANSPARENT

Inspiration can also appear when you finally admit that you need help. Being willing to be vulnerable and to ask for the help or guidance that you need can get you past perceived obstacles. Rather than pretending that everything is under control, admitting that you’re stuck builds trust and allows progress to occur. You could be stuck in not being able to see a solution to a work problem, you might be facing an impossible project deadline or lack of resources, or maybe you’re stuck in a relationship; whatever your personal situation, being open and honest with those around you opens up inspired new opportunities. Taking action, by asking for help, leads to progress and new ideas, and inspiration becomes more likely.

Social scientists have been studying the impact of transparency and vulnerability for a long time. Prochaska’s stages of change readiness, for example, posits that being transparent and showing vulnerability are critical steps on the path to change readiness.³⁷ Indicating a willingness to change then triggers a shift from complacency to feeling inspired to take action. Leaders who are vulnerable with their teams establish the trust, respect, and safety to be open to new ideas.³⁸ Furthermore, transparent decision-making and sharing of emotions has been noted as a key aspect of authentic leadership.³⁹

Admitting that you’re struggling, or that you’ve encountered a problem you can’t solve on your own, opens the door to support and inspiration. That’s exactly what happened when Archana Patchirajan, founder of the Indian startup company Hubbl, told her employees that the company was shutting down and that they’d all have to find new jobs. Rather than turning on her in the face of bad news, the staff refused to give up, offering to take half pay until the company got back on its feet again. Their commitment to Hubbl inspired Patchirajan to find a way to make the company successful, later selling it for $14 million.⁴⁰ In an Inc. article about Hubbl, Emma Seppälä, the associate director of Stanford University’s Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education, is quoted as explaining, “vulnerability is not about being weak. It’s about being courageous enough to be yourself.” She says that “leaders can be vulnerable by replacing the professional distance you’re used to with honesty about yourself and care for your employees’ lives.”⁴¹

“I’ve noticed that really inspiring people tend to be very accessible—it’s part of who they are.”

—Christine Carter, PhD, sociologist, Senior Fellow at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, and author of The Sweet Spot: How to Achieve More by Doing Less and Raising Happiness

Margaret Greenberg, executive coach and author of Profit from the Positive, told us in her interview with us how her unexpected vulnerability and transparency at a keynote presentation inspired her and others. She was invited to give a talk to over three thousand attendees of a Happiness Forum on the topic of positive psychology and resilience sponsored by a university. The night before her talk, she learned that the university had lost one of its students, along with her mother and brother, in a tragic car crash. She knew the community was grieving, and the way she typically addressed resilience might not resonate with the audience that day. Instead of canceling her talk or staying with her original talking points, she dared to share a very personal story of resilience about her own mother’s suicide. Although she had never hidden her mother’s suicide from others, she had never before this time spoken about it in such a public forum. She knew that it was the right thing to talk about; it was the story these students needed to hear in this moment of tragedy. Her openness in this public forum was received warmly; people came up to her after her talk to tell her how she moved them. This inspired Greenberg to continue to be more open in different contexts about this very personal story, making it easier for others to talk openly about suicide and other tragedies. People became more comfortable about bringing the topic up themselves, giving them new ways to deal with their grief.⁴²

Being vulnerable and transparent can be difficult for some as it requires opening up and letting people see what’s inside. How do you muster up your courage? You can start small: What’s one thing you can share with others that will let them know the real you more? You may be surprised to discover that by sharing in this way, you feel a greater sense of possibility and confidence in yourself, while also inspiring those around you.

As human beings we are social creatures who thrive on contact with and support from others. Not surprisingly, the people around us can be important sparks of inspiration for us.