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After a day where I was actually clean, wearing fresh non-pajamas and went for a long walk with Graham and Alton, I felt like I could breathe again. Judge had been worried about me, which meant I needed to get my act together, lest I lean on him when I knew I couldn’t. The ache in my chest never went away; being abandoned took a certain skillset to deal with. Unfortunately, I was well-versed in that particular talent.
When Danny and Mariang got home from a day of reaping, it was decided we’d all watch a movie, now that they weren’t afraid of making noise that would disturb my mourning.
“How about Love in Pieces with Johnny?” Mariang suggested, smiling hopefully at the title she’d picked off my streaming movie channel.
Graham and Alton sighed quietly through their polite smiles, but Boston didn’t feel the need to hold back. “No and never. Danny has to sit through the boring love movies, but I’m not married to you. The only movie I want to watch is if Johnny gets ripped into pieces, his guts splattered by some kind of home-fashioned rusty weapon, or an alien of some sort. I’ll also accept zombies.”
Mariang deflated when Graham and Alton chimed in with their preference that was more in line with Boston’s than her emotion-filled flick. She tossed the remote to Alton, who fumbled with it before holding it the right way and selecting a movie that looked awesome – just the right amount of gore and non-plot. It was my poison of choice. It didn’t have Bruce Campbell in it, but every movie needs a flaw, I guess.
It took a few starts and stops, but I eventually stood up from the couch and moved to the kitchen to pop some popcorn for everyone. After about two minutes, Danny found his way next to me, his hand on my back to pull from me so I didn’t go into labor. “You shouldn’t wander off like that.”
I didn’t answer, not wanting to fight over the fact that I’d simply stepped into the next room, not driven to Toledo on a whim. “How’s Mariang holding up, reaping by herself?”
“She’s amazing. Like you were before you got knocked up. Strong, young. Barely tired after reaping six souls.”
“Six? She only needs to do two to keep things afloat.”
The corner of Danny’s mouth angled upward. “We were thinking of going on a ten-day cruise for our belated honeymoon. She wants to make sure you won’t have to reap until September’s a month old.” He looked down at me with too much hinting in his tone. “Not a bad consideration, if you ask me.”
“That’s real nice of her. And yeah, when I’m back to work, I can make sure she has a nice, long maternity leave, too. You know me; I always work to the max when I can.”
“I do know that about you, yes.” We listened to the popcorn dance and crackle in the microwave, filling the kitchen with the tease of buttery goodness. “You’re out of bed,” he commented.
“You should be a detective. Nothing gets by you.”
“That’s good. I know I should be mad because you’re on bedrest, but it’s nice to see you with a little life in you. You’re being funny and you’re not hiding under the covers. Maybe I should thank that Judge friend of yours for stopping by. You’ve seemed more yourself since then.” Danny lowered his voice. “Any more dreams about Sama?”
“No,” I answered quickly. “No dreams at all.” I let that statement hang between us, cluing him into the fact that either Von had been awake while I was asleep, or we weren’t in love anymore. Oh, how quickly it all devolved. I rubbed my belly to remind myself that I had to keep it together for September.
“That’s good, but it sucks. I’m sorry Von’s being a wanker.”
“You warned me.” I sighed, getting out a big bowl from under the counter. “You know, if the whole detective thing doesn’t work out for you, you could be a legit shrink with poetic empathy like that.”
Danny chuckled, his hand on my back wrapping around my hips to pull me into one of the hugs he was getting much better at doling out. I shrugged away from the comforting touch. “What?” Danny asked of my sudden shunning, affronted.
“You can’t hug me. I don’t know why, but I can’t take it. It’s like you squeeze the tears out of me, and I’m doing better today.”
“Mariang hugs you. So does Boston. I’m trying to be more... you know, better at stuff like that. You told me to be nicer! You said the babies would be happier if I was nice,” he accused. Now he wore a solid frown that replaced the smile that had been more readily at the surface lately.
“They will be, and you’re doing a great job. It’s not you, it’s me. I’m an emotional basket case, and you’re one of the few people I actually feel kind of safe around. When you hug me? I feel all the things I can’t fix.”
“Me? You feel safe around me? I make you be able to break down?” He was stunned, as if I’d just told him he held the key to the magical land of Narnia. “No one’s ever told me that besides Mariang.”
I shrugged and pulled the bag of popcorn out of the microwave by the edges. “Well, you can’t be nice to me today. It’ll make me remember that Von’s not here, and that Ollie’s still not home. I’ll remember that I’m alone, and I can’t go there right now.” I shook my head, my mouth in a tight line. “Don’t look at me like that. You’re being nice with your eyes.”
“Man, your mood swings are hard to follow.”
“That’s good. Now call me fat or something, so I don’t want to break down and sob whenever you’re around because I know you’ll be good to me. Be mean to me, or I’ll cry all over you,” I threatened.
Danny chuckled at my logic. “I’m not calling you fat.”
“Call me fat, or I’ll cry right now. I’ll do it, Danny. I’ve got a bucket of tears on standby.”
“Okay, fine. You’re fat as a cow. You should start auditions to become a sumo wrestler. Now do you feel better?”
Mariang entered the kitchen at the tail end of our exchange. “Danny! October is not fat! She’s pregnant, and she’s carrying the baby like a graceful lady of dignity. Don’t ever say anything like that to her.” She flitted over and hugged me, forcing me to hold my breath so I didn’t dissolve into tears at her tender affection. “You are not fat. You’re perfect. Absolutely perfect.”
Danny spluttered. “But I... I didn’t mean... She made me do it! I give up.” He threw out his hands in exasperation. “Now I’m taking all the bloody popcorn, so make your own bowl, fatty!”
A laugh burst out of me, unbidden, as Mariang ramped up a rant to put Danny in his place.
It wasn’t perfect, but these were my people, for better or worse.