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Graham sat next to me in the car, his hand migrating to my elbow as I drove. “It’s okay, Graham. I don’t need you to pull for me today.”
Graham’s hand froze between us before cradling my elbow again. “I know you don’t think you need pulling unless it’s work-related, but this is the most I’ve been able to be useful in days for you. Let me take away a little of the heartache. How are you feeling?”
“Fine.”
Graham shot me a withering look. “October, come on. It’s me. Aren’t we past being strangers? You’re my sister.”
I sighed. “I feel like I got hit with a pillowcase filled with bricks. Every day it’s a little less, like one fewer brick in the pillowcase, which doesn’t really seem anything to be all that cheery about, but I’m trying. I think I’m down to like, three bricks now. Should be pain-free in another handful of days.”
“There. Now was that so hard?”
“Yes.” I gulped, keeping my eyes on the road. “Everything’s hard. I feel bad leaving Von with only Alton and Ezra.”
“Von’s made of tough stuff. He just has to remember that. I think he’s lost a little of himself lately.”
I didn’t need to voice my agreement; Von’s checked-out status was palpable.
I glanced to the tail of our dead-end street, seeing a smattering of familiar cars lining the road in front of my house. I swore, wishing I’d thought to make sure Ollie locked up so our friends didn’t try to throw a party in the middle of the bloodbath.
When we pulled into my driveway, I stopped short of parking in the garage, not sure if that’s where the Manas bodies were still being stored. I cut the engine, wondering how I was going to explain away the damage to my no doubt shocked friends. I blinked as I stared at the cars. “It’s ten in the morning,” I stated, confused.
“It is, indeed. Something wrong?”
“My friends. They like to show up at random and throw parties at our house. But that’s always in the evening. I don’t get what they’re doing here.”
Graham gripped the hilt of his knife on his belt, readying to attack. “There’s Ollie’s car, yeah? He must’ve let them in. Stay behind me, though, just in case.”
I walked a few paces behind Graham, hesitating when we got to the front porch and heard friendly commotion coming from inside. He put his knife back in its sheath on his belt and popped his elbow out to me, like the weapon-wielding gentleman he was. Graham fingered the doorknob and let us in, assessing the mood to be congenial, and not a threat.
My friends were frozen with mouths dropped open, caught in the scandalous act of... cleaning?
I clung to Graham with both hands, staring around the house like I’d never seen it before. The lamp was gone, my end table was toppled over and missing a leg, there were scuffs and streaks of blood on the walls, violent holes in the drywall and too many stains on the carpet. “I... My home!” I whispered, my heart breaking all over again at everything we’d worked for, that was now trashed so thoroughly.
“Now, now. Not to worry, love. See? They’ll put it all right again.” Graham motioned to a few of my friends, who were still frozen mid-scrub as they gaped at me. Graham lifted his chin at Jordan, who was nearest. “Mate, could you tell Ollie his sister’s here?”
“Bait?” Jordan called my nickname as if it was something of reverence, not a group joke. “Everyone, Bait’s here!”
Ollie flew out of my bedroom, wearing his beat-up housework jeans and an undershirt. “Hey, kid. Whatcha doing out of bed?”
“I... I... Um, I was going to come clean up. What’s everyone doing here?”
Ollie took my other arm and helped Graham lower me to the couch. My whole body was still pretty sore from the whole giving birth thing. The couch had several murderous slashes through it that spilled out the fluffy innards on the other end from where I sat. Ollie patted my hand carefully. “They’re helping set the house right after the attack from the break-in.”
“The attack from the break-in?” I echoed, unsure of the story we were selling.
Ollie nodded. “The idiots who broke in, hurt you so bad you lost the baby, and tore up our home. I made a few calls, and they all showed up to help. Took time off work, brought over their tools, and pooled their resources.” Ollie met my eyes with a kind smile that told me how very worried he’d been. “I didn’t want you to see the place like this. No matter what, I want you to stay out of your bedroom. If you need something, Graham can get it for you.”
My lower lip quivered as I took in the damage done to my safe place. Glancing down at my deflated stomach, I knew there wouldn’t be true healing for a long time. I bit my lip to keep the trembling at bay. “You... You really all did this for us? You showed up to help us?” I asked of my mute friends.
Jordan sat down next to me, his arm draped on the back of the couch. “Of course, kiddo. We trash your house often enough. Figured it was our turn to clean it for you.”
I couldn’t help the emotion that welled up in me, or tamper down the swelling that threatened to crack my ribs as my heart grew to the bursting point. My understood walls of social distance started to crumble, and I slumped in Jordan’s half-embrace, sinking into him as my tears fell onto his shirt. I don’t recall ever hugging Jordan of my own volition, though I’d known him for years. “Thank you,” I whispered, burying myself in his arms that scrambled to hold me awkwardly while I fell apart.
“Whoa. It’s okay, hun.” Jordan had tons of practice hugging the other girls, but was a novice when it came to holding me. He was a quick learner, and gripped me tight, rocking me slightly in that comforting big brother way I’d never let him be for me. He pressed his lips to my hair, clutching my head to his chest like a football. “We’ve got your back. We’ll have this place looking good as new in no time.”
I indulged in a few more seconds of public affection before righting myself with a rallying inhale. I wiped my embarrassing tears off my cheeks. “How can I help? Give me a job.”
Ollie said nothing of my public breakdown, but gave me a strange look, almost like he was proud of me for hugging someone I’d known for years. That was the beautiful thing about Ollie. He didn’t mention that I had no reason not to be doling out hugs this whole time to the people who were in my life. He was only ever proud of me, complimenting my forward steps, and pretending the backwards ones weren’t there at all.
Ollie smiled down at me. “Your job is to sit here and tell the others what needs to be done.” He moved around to stand behind the couch and leaned heavily on Jordan’s shoulder. “This one here’s your new butler. If you want something hung a certain way, you say, ‘Hey butler, a little to the left.’ If you’re thirsty, he’ll get you some water. We don’t have much else. Fridge is busted. Beto’s picking up the new one from the store now.”
“Our refrigerator’s broken?” I rubbed my temples. “What else?”
“Nothing you have to worry about. Pretend it’s a renovation, not an invasion. It was time for an upgrade anyway. You’ll have a whole new inside in just a couple days.” He squeezed my hand and stood up straight. “Nick and Darius are helping me with the drywall, so I’m going to get back to it.”
“Wait, Darius? Darius is here? He knows? Who told him?”
Darius strolled out of my bedroom, cracking his neck with a tired expression that told me he’d been there for hours, though it was still morning. “I was the first one here. Ollie called and told me you’d been attacked. I came first thing. Judge was here all night helping, too. Just left half an hour ago to see to his business. He sends his condolences.” The corner of his mouth twitched upwards. “He bought you a new appliance to replace one of them that got broken, but he said not to tell you which one, so you couldn’t return it.”
My hand rubbed my forehead to try and make sense of everything. “That’s really sweet of you both. Thank you. I... You really came for us?”
Darius’ shoulders lowered. He had a white smudge of drywall dust across his ebony forehead. “Of course I did. You’re my conscience.”
His sweet declaration tugged at my heart. “I always knew you were a good man.”
He watched me with a tender expression. “And I’ve always had your back. You just forgot how to lean on me.”
I looked up at Darius in wonder that after all the cat and mouse we’d played for power and respect, respect and love had won out. “I don’t know what to say to that. Thank you, Nefarious.”
Darius sniggered at how ridiculous I sounded when I used his street name. “Anytime, Bait.”
Ollie pointed his finger at Graham. “I’m serious. Make sure she doesn’t get off this couch.”
“Sure, give me the impossible job. Anyone want to trade?” Graham joked.
Jordan was sweaty and positively filthy, but I sunk into his embrace again when he tugged me to him with an affectionate grin. I marveled at how much I’d grown that I couldn’t feel the germs on my friend. “Hey, Bait. How’re you feeling after the...” He apparently couldn’t say the B-word, so he mimed a baby bump over his modest beer gut. Jordan wasn’t a particularly eloquent kind of sweetheart, but I was grateful for him all the same.
“I’m fine.”
He lowered his voice and leaned in so I could smell his musky armpits. “You should’ve told us. We would’ve visited you in the hospital. Did you at least get a good look at the guys who messed you up? Ollie didn’t say what happened to them.”
I swallowed hard. “It doesn’t matter. It’s done. They’re not coming back. My daughter’s dead, so that’s that.” The words hurt to say, but I forced them out so my brain could recognize the pain as truth and deal with it. “I can’t believe you’re really helping fix all this. I didn’t realize how broken it all got.”
Jordan squeezed me tighter, as if afraid I might bolt when it dawned on me that I was in his arms. “Don’t worry, Bait. You won’t always feel this broken.”