| |
Danny set me down on my bed with a furrowed brow. “Whoa. You didn’t fight me on that one. You actually let me help you up the stairs. Now I know you’re having a rough go of it. Anything I can do?”
“Put Von back together and magic me a new body. That’s what you can do.” I fished out a white blouse that had enough elasticity to cover my form, which hadn’t quite shrunken back to its original shape. I found a pair of jeans that were comfortable and wouldn’t be too annoying. “I don’t want you fighting with him today, or any day for that matter. I mean it. You saw him down there; he’s gone.”
Danny fished through one of the shopping bags curiously. “Why do you have so many pairs of socks?”
“This is what I’m talking about. I asked him to pick me up some socks, and he bought like, every pair in the mall! He can’t put things in the right order in his mind. He’s totally manic. I have whole conversations with him, and he forgets we even spoke minutes later. So I don’t want you to start with him.” I frowned. “In fact, maybe you should send Boston to come be with Von.” The idea started to sound better and better the more I turned it over in my mind. “Yeah. Boston and Graham can take Von out, and you can go hang with Mariang and Alton.”
Danny’s eyebrows rose into his hairline. “You’re actually trying to send me away? I just got here.”
I leaned on the dresser to steady myself. “You and I both know you hate Von. He doesn’t need that. Not now. He needs someone who loves him and believes he’s not a screw-up.”
Danny lowered his chin to stare at the carpet and slowly shook his head. “That’s not fair. I came here today because I know Von’s hurting. I came to help him.”
“The time to help him was years ago, when he took the parenting responsibility because your dad split. The time to help him would’ve been standing by his side when he got kicked out of the Academy. You’ve had plenty of time to help Von when he really needed it, and you turned your back on him. Right now, I need someone I can trust with Von, and while I appreciate you’re trying now, that’s never been you.”
“And now that I’m here, not turning my back, you’re sending me away? How does that measure out?”
I punched my fist to my chest, probably looking a little crazy. “You lost your chance to be good for him, and right now, Von only needs what’s good for him. You don’t know the first thing about that.”
Danny stood, towering over me with his height and the added bonus of his anger, which was always somehow bigger than mine. “Hey, I was there when you lost September. I stayed with both of you through the whole thing. We’re all going through this, here. Mariang’s afraid to call you because she thinks you’ll be upset to hear her voice.”
My nose crinkled. “Huh? Why would I be mad at her?”
“Because she gets to keep her baby, and you didn’t.”
It was like Danny slapped me across the face. I leaned against my dresser to brace myself again, counting to five before opening my mouth. “That’s a helluva thing to say to me. Do you really think I’m that petty?”
“No, but I do think it was that dreadful. I don’t care what you say, I’m here for my brother now. I’m taking him out for the day.”
“Where are you going with him? I don’t want him drinking. Not when he’s lost like this.”
“Fine.”
“I swear to you, Danny. I used to treat criminals. I know the good places to stash a body. They’ll never find you if you wreck him more.”
Danny popped open our window, sticking his head out to breathe in something fresh. “How can you live in this? It’s awful!”
“I’ll forgive you just about anything if you can break him of his cigars.”
Danny brought his head back in and stared at me, scowling. It was as if his face knew his mouth was about to be nice, so it had to compensate somehow. “How are you holding it together?”
“I’m an amazing actress,” I deadpanned.
“Any appearances from Sama in your mind?”
I shook my head. “If Von’s in my head, Sama can’t hijack me. So it’s a good idea for us to go to sleep together. Not a permanent solution, but a good enough Band-Aid so I don’t take a screwdriver to my temple.” I said it as a joke, but the visual was one I’d been tempted by before. I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I’ve got to change, so you know, scram.”
I shut Danny out of the room and pulled on the outfit that had fit me just fine a few months ago. Now it made me look like I was at the end of my first trimester. Just enough of a bump for strangers to comment on. I tried sucking in my stomach, but it was no use. My body was a beacon for the worst moment of my life.
Von burst through the door, wild-eyed and filled with terror. I backed up, instantly fearing an attack on the mansion. “What is it?”
“I told you not to go up the stairs without me!” Von didn’t bother shutting the door, but ran to me, sinking to his knees and sobbing into my thighs with actual tears. “I don’t want you to go to the museum! It’s too dangerous!”
“Seriously? We’re still on this?” I knew I shouldn’t be exasperated, but the clingy thing did nothing for me. I brushed my hand down his cheek as Danny inched back into the room, mouth agape. “I’m only going out for a few hours. I promise not to leave Ezra’s side, okay? I love you, but this is unhealthy. You have to let me leave the house without throwing yourself on the floor at my feet!” I’d wanted a boyfriend who stuck around, but the opposite swing of having one who wouldn’t let me leave the house was a steep drop-off.
Von stood and ran to the door, barring the exit by using his body like an X to keep me from going. “I have a bad feeling about you leaving today. Stay, hani. Stay and make love to me all afternoon.”
Danny buried his face in his hand. “Stop. You’ll put me off my lunch.”
“You know I can’t do that. The doctor said we had to wait six weeks.” I shook my head. “And you wanted to wait until our honeymoon for the real thing.”
Von gripped the doorjamb like a bull holding himself back for the kill. “We don’t need the real thing.”
Lust flared up in his eyes, and I took a hesitant step back. “Von, stop! No! Don’t kiss me!”
It was too late. Von launched himself at me, holding my face and mashing his lips to mine, dunking me under and immersing me in our surreal life. The colors flew at me too fast, and I started to feel seasick. I tried to push at his chest, but he was determined.
Just as quick as he descended on me, Von was ripped away by Danny, who threw his brother into the opposite wall. Von barred his fangs, seething and readying to attack his brother.
“Stop, Von! Look at yourself!” I shouted through my tears. He’d torn open the top button of my blouse, revealing nothing but my shame that somehow I’d ended up in a relationship like this.
Danny held up his fists, ignoring Graham, Alton and Ezra, who ascended the stairs at the commotion. Von was seething, spittle flying out of his mouth as his focus turned to Danny. “I knew you wanted her for yourself. Couldn’t stand to see me happy. Well, she’s mine! I bought the ring. I’m the one who wins this time! I get to keep something good for myself finally! I’ve died enough for our family. It’s my turn to live!”
Danny was poised to fight, though I could tell he didn’t want to. “Do you hear what you’re saying? When have I ever looked at a woman who wasn’t Mariang? Why would you think I’d go in for your girl? You’re mad!”
“You’re jealous! Why else would you be here when we’re clearly trying to be together?”
“You attacked her! She told you to stop, and you practically forced her into the bed. Who are you? This isn’t you.”
Von was out of words, so he took the first swing, popping Danny across the face. I gasped, and Graham and Ezra shouted for Von to stand down. Von whirled on them, taking a swing at Graham, who luckily dodged.
Danny turned as if in slow motion to Von. I was worried about the years of resentment culminating into a bloodbath all over my bedroom. “You’re lucky I just promised your girl I wouldn’t lay into you. Enjoy that punch, Von. Try it again, and I’ll beat you into the ground.”
“I’d like to see you try, little brother.” Von raised his fists again, squaring off for round two.
Alton was horrified at the sight of his superman devolving so thoroughly. “No, Von! You love us! This isn’t you.”
“Don’t do this, guys!” I cried, running to stand between the seething Danny and the volatile Von. I kept my back to Danny, inching until my shoulders were pressed against his chest to keep him from swinging out at the guy who used to be the man I love. I pleaded with my eyes for Von to see clearly through his haze. “Please, honey. Don’t you see that this hurts me? I need you to keep it together, because most days, I’m barely upright! You can’t lose it on me like this. You’re hitting Danny now? You love Danny, even when he doesn’t deserve it. That’s one of my favorite things about you.”
Von blinked rapidly, like he was trying to get something out of his eyes. His shoulder started twitching, but he kept his focus on me. “You want to leave me.”
I shook my head, tears welling in my eyes. “No! Of course I don’t want to split up. I tell you what, if you leave Danny and Graham alone, I’ll go with you wherever you want. Just you and me.”
Ezra opened his mouth to protest, but Graham held up his hand to stop him. I heard two sets of footsteps pounding up towards us, and knew that whoever it was would surely set Von off.
Von had almost relaxed his fists, but tightened them again when Kabayo and Finn came running into our bedroom. “You called Finn?” Von accused. “How could you? I knew you still had feelings for him!”
“I didn’t...” I eked out, and then screamed when Von’s fist flew out at me.
I’d been punched before, but there’s something about the man you’re engaged to clocking you across the face that takes you by surprise.
I didn’t see what happened after that. I hit the ground, holding my cheek as I sobbed uncontrollably, hurt just as bad by the emotional trauma as the physical assault. I heard fighting as the men descended on the stranger who used to be Von. I didn’t watch, but crawled over to the corner and held myself as I wept in my hopeless abyss.