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“Come on, you yellow chicken!” Boston jeered with a playful smile from the deep end of the pool.
“The water’s warm, hun. You’ll love it.” Mariang waded in the shallow end, laving water over her arms.
“I don’t want to do this,” I gulped, standing at the edge of the pool. I peered into the chlorinated water, my arms crossed over my stomach. Of course Mariang had multiples of everything, including swimsuits. This one could hardly be classified as a suit; it was pink and skimpy, and I felt so exposed that I couldn’t leave the hotel room until I’d pulled a tank top over the barely-there swimsuit. Though I didn’t have my scars anymore, I didn’t need the whole world seeing me in what was basically my underwear. Come to think of it, my underwear covered a lot more than this pink number did. While I was shorter than Mariang, my breasts were heaping handfuls larger than hers, and my butt was a little rounder than her size two frame. Pregnancy had only enhanced the areas I tried to keep off the map. Trying to stuff my body into the smaller bikini made me painfully aware that I was a woman. I was wary of a wardrobe malfunction if I moved my arms too much.
Finn held his arms out to me expectantly. He was the only one in the sparsely populated pool who wore a scarf. “Come on in. I won’t drop you.”
“Yes, you will. You’re a soldier. You’re a tough love kind of guy, and I’m not ready for that. You’ll let go, and I’ll sink to the bottom and die. This was a bad idea. Let’s just go back to the room.”
Finn waded to the edge and touched my toes with his wet fingers. “I won’t let go.”
I shook my head, panic tight in my eyes. I remembered vividly the feeling of almost drowning. The brutality I’d witnessed under the water forced me to take a step back. “I... I forgot something upstairs.” I spun on my heel and deserted Finn, Boston and Mariang in the pool. I ignored Finn calling my name and the splash of water that meant he was coming to join me. Of all the things I’d been through, this was a torture I didn’t need to subject myself to. “Finn, just leave it alone.”
Finn didn’t say a word. He simply scooped me up like a bride and charged toward the pool, ignoring my muffled scream as he cannonballed into the deep end. Despite the fact that I wanted to punch him, I clung to Finn as the water enveloped me. He pinched my nose and pressed his open mouth to my scream, forcing air into me so I could remain in my nightmare even longer. When he spoke, I heard him clearly through my whimpering and begging him to take me up. “This is my world. I’ll not have you afraid to stick your toe into it.”
As the water pushed at my pores and seeped into my psyche, I fought off the panic with everything in me. I would not lose my mind. I would not think about Garrick being ripped apart. I wouldn’t picture wolf Mason holding his arm like a chew toy. I wouldn’t feel the fishy Mermen trying to tear off my clothes. I wouldn’t feel any of it. Though the pool would disguise my tears in an act of kindness, I kept them tight inside me. Instead of losing my mind, I clung to Finn, who only held tighter to me. He sat us at the bottom of the pool, my legs straddling his waist as the pressure from the water, his grip and just plain life squeezed me for all I was worth.
I would not break.
My fiancé had just given me a black eye, but I would not break.
My other Reaper was nowhere to be found, but I would not break.
September, Garrick, Bishop and Bev were dead, but I would not break.
Allie was in a coma, but I would not break.
“I feel you bracing yourself,” Finn whispered in my ear. He breathed for me, kissed my temple and then pressed his cheek to mine. “I’m keeping you anchored here until you calm down.”
My teeth were gritted against the softening he tried to bring about in me, and the emotions that threatened to shatter my fragile grip on reality. “Why do you care?”
“Because I love you. I won’t let you cower while I’m around. I make you stronger. That’s who we are to each other. Isn’t that what friends are supposed to do?”
Finn’s promise swelled in me; I couldn’t believe anyone could love me that much. He stood up to me and wouldn’t let me punk out. Though I was a mess, he didn’t see that part. He still believed I was strong, even when I couldn’t feel it.
I closed my eyes and tried to find the strength he swore was there. My chin looped over his shoulder for a few seconds while that extreme devotion sunk in. “You don’t know how hard it’s been.”
Finn didn’t argue; he simply gave me more breath to hold in my lungs, to sustain me another quarter of a minute while he held me. His hand trailed down my back and lifted my tank top so he could touch my bare skin, his fingers tracing lazy circles around the base of my spine. “Then tell me. No one can hear you under the water.”
I considered his offer to actually be there for me during a pretty confusing time. I wanted to confess everything, to tell him the horrible hand I’d been dealt, but I knew that would only tie me closer to Finn, which wasn’t fair to him. Instead I turned my head, inched his scarf down with my chin, and pressed my lips to his gills, placing a kiss on the ripply skin. “Some other time. I’m too upside-down to make sense right now.”
“But I’m your friend. You’re supposed to talk to me.” His hand trailed from my spine down over the curve of my backside, his thumb looping in the string of the bikini at my hip. He smirked at the goosebumps I couldn’t fight off, and the tightening of my thighs that, I swear, was inadvertent. He bit his lower lip when my hips slid closer to the edge of danger, welcoming his firm body when I knew I should’ve been pulling away.
But I slid closer, letting him kiss the underside of my jaw, fondling my neck like it was made of a foreign texture he couldn’t get enough of. “We’re not supposed to do this,” I warned us both, though the guilt only seemed to work like an aphrodisiac. He sucked on my shoulder while he pulled the straps of my tank top and bikini down, kissing a sensual line along the horizon of my breasts. Finn made it so easy to forget myself, forget my life, my responsibilities. His hands were experienced, and every sensation was the dawn of something I was too new at to evaluate with any sort of clarity. My heart thudded in my chest, and I’m sure he could hear every traitorous beat.
“If we’re not supposed to, then why aren’t you pushing me away? Maybe this is just how our friendship works.” He breathed for me again, this time tugging at the clasp that held my top in place.
A breach of the water just to the left of us broke the trance that was growing too heated too fast. Boston’s curled body had done a cannonball right next to us, breaking the mood with his goofy “Nyah! I got you” face. When my bikini clasp sprung open, I yelped and clung to Finn to keep my bathing suit in place, so Boston didn’t get the wrong idea.
Or you know, the spot on totally right idea of the very wrong thing I shouldn’t have been doing.
Boston went back up to the surface, and Finn followed behind, deciding we could no longer ignore the others without arousing suspicion. My head broke the water and I grasped for the fresh air, pulling gallons of it into my lungs. Finn was sweet as he kept his pep talk quiet in my ear. “It’s alright. See? I told you I’d get you to relax in the water. Another couple of minutes and I could’ve gotten you to forget all kinds of things.”
“My bikini came undone!” I whispered through my thumbs up and smile at Mariang, who was paddling over to us.
Finn winced. “Oops. Take a breath.” He gave me three seconds to comply and then plunged us back under, his hands making quick work of putting my swimsuit right again. He lingered, as I could’ve guessed he would, cupping the outer swells of my breasts and then kissing my scowl with an impish “look what I just got away with” kind of face.
He floated us back to the surface, his arms tight around me. He swam us toward the shallower end, where Mariang was still making her way toward us. “That’s so amazing! Did you truly breathe for her that whole time?”
Finn nodded, rubbing my back in concentric circles. “Of course. That’s easy. It’s getting her to trust me that’s the hard part.”
“Oh, that’ll come in time.” Mariang made a few nervous faces with a squinched nose and gritted teeth before speaking what was on her mind. “Can you breathe for anyone like that?”
Finn’s face split into a grin, and I was proud of him for shedding his Captain Finn: Tough Guy demeanor temporarily for my sister. “Only for the beautiful women who tell me I’m the king of the seven oceans.”
Mariang blushed and shook her head. “Never mind. I was silly to ask.”
Finn walked a few more feet until I could touch the ground on my own. Slowly he let his grip on my legs go, but I still clung to him with all four limbs. I’m pretty sure my legs had frozen in place. He softened and squeezed me, and I could practically feel his heart swelling that I’d reached for him this time – that I was now the one who couldn’t let go. He smiled into my hair and pinched my backside under the water. Then he slid his thumb along the inside of my bottoms, just to feel me rock against his body. “Hey, I’ll be right back. Promise. Nothing will hurt you while I’m around.”
“Boy, are you going to be sorry if I drown in this pool.”
Finn chuckled, took a chance and kissed my cheek in full view of Mariang and Boston, who stiffened. “I’ll be right back, sinta.”
Finn lowered me so my feet touched the bottom, the water lapping at my ribs and making me feel unsteady. He turned and offered his hand to Mariang, who let out a slow, nervous giggle at her daring. “Danny would never let me do something like this.”
Finn raised his dark blond eyebrow at her. “Well, Danny’s not here, is he? It looks like you get to make the decisions. Do you want to go for a swim with the Captain of Dagat?”
Mariang had that look of wild daring in her eyes that made me all of a sudden turn into an adult. “Go slow, Finn. I mean it. She’s super pregnant, so however gentle you think you’re being, double it.”
Boston scratched his elbow as he talked to me over his shoulder after the two disappeared below the water. “How much are we trusting him? I mean, Ezra sent you over with him as your guard, so that’s something. But should I be worried he’s taking my charge under the water?”
“I think it’s a little late for worry now, man.” I laughed as Boston sobered, paling at the possibility that he’d just handed over his sister to a dangerous Kataw. “Nah, I’m only kidding. Finn’s fine. He kept me alive through Silo and Dagat. He knows the Omens have to be safe.”
Boston exhaled. “Okay. How about we keep this little adventure to ourselves, yeah?”
“Alright.”
Boston didn’t meet my eyes as he spoke, but watched the pool’s surface for Mariang’s head. “So, any news on them undoing the spell Sama put on Von?”
“I think it’s too soon to tell.”
“That sucks.”
I waded to the side of the pool and held onto the ledge to keep myself from floating away. “See? That’s what I like about you. Your eloquence.”
“What? It does suck. I don’t like the idea of someone coming along and addling my brother’s brains. I was just getting used to the idea of having you for a sister, and then Sama goes and mucks it all up.”
“‘Mucks it all up?’ Watch your language, sailor.” I tried to make light of the situation, but I was pretty sure my eye was nice and purple by now, leaving no room for denial. “I just need to know how much control Von had over himself when he hauled off and hit me.”
“None of it,” Boston answered, resolute.
“You’re sure about that?”
“Absolutely. I mean, Danny explained it to me. And seriously, it’s Von. You’re truly not sure if it was him in there who hit you? Really? He’s never... I know how he sorted out Dad when the lowlife raised a hand to Mum.”
“You do?”
“Yeah. Bish told me. Von wouldn’t stand for Mum getting knocked about. I can’t imagine what must’ve snapped in his brain to make him do that to you. I’ve seen Von in all sorts of states, but I’ve never seen him love a woman the intense way he does you. You have no idea the way Von can sacrifice himself when he loves. I can tell you for certain that none of the man who hit you was my brother.”
I met Boston’s eye with a quiet understanding. “I know the sacrifice he made for you in Dagat.”
Boston stiffened, staring ahead to make sure he didn’t take in any more of my sincere gaze. “Does he ever talk about his time there?”
I nodded, swallowing as I remembered holding Von while he broke down in my arms in the quiet of my bedroom. “Only to me, and only when he can’t take the torment anymore. It gets to him still.”
Boston closed his eyes, quiet for a few seconds as I let him peek in on a vulnerable part of his Superman big brother that was usually kept concealed. “I haven’t gambled a quid since that day. He said the only way I could pay him back was to graduate and make something of myself. So that’s what I did.”
“Von’s proud of you. Says so all the time. Brags about his baby brother who can set people on edge while putting them at ease.” I smirked as I pictured the crinkle Von got in the corner of his eye when he bragged about his brothers.
Boston lowered his chin, and I could tell the emotion of the moment was getting to him. I linked my fingers through his under the water and squeezed. “He’s a good man, my brother. He’d give anything for the people he loves. Von always finds a way to do the right thing, even if it looks all wrong when it comes out.” He shook his head, frowning. “I know none of the tosser who attacked you was him.”
“You know, eh? I really hope you’re right.”