CHAPTER FIVE

GROWING OR AGING?

A ging is unavoidable while growing is avoidable​. People celebrate birthdays everyday but not all are growing in the true essence of growth. Age in number, stature nor academic achievements, does not necessarily describe growth.

A number of people are busy but very few are productive. You need not stage activity to the pleasure of people to prove that you are growing. Are you productively growing?

The essence of life is to achieve maximum income, impact and influence. You can’t just be aging and think achieving the trio will be possible. It takes maximum level of intentional growth to truly achieve this.

To truly know you are growing, this should be a checklist:

1. ​ How is my mindset?

The beginning of every great piece is the mind. Your mind could picture an edifice while it could also picture a hut. My decision to take back my life and make my journey to 30 counts started from my mind. I can't remember having a pleasant memorable birthday in the past 4 years save for this year's both day when I clocked 30 in July. 

You can't have your head turned to the back while you desire to progress. It's not just wishing to move, everything about you must accept to move. You should see yourself in the new you and consciously work at being you. 

Never allow your minds become sick, because it is the most powerful tool you have got. Your mind is where you make the decision to either remain on the floor or to stand up and progress. 

You can’t grow above the level of your mindset. You can’t be thinking like an ant and be expecting an elephant or eagle result. You are your thought.

●       The things that used to matter to me then, do they still matter to me?

●        Do I still think there is really nothing to life than just living?

●        Am I still limited and myopic in my views?

●       Do I think everyone is already what I want to do, hence I might not be heard when I begin mine?

2. How is my network, the quality of my relationships?

I can’t overstress the importance of great relationships. Being an introvert isn’t an excuse for not building profitable relationships. People are resources; have you grown to invest in them? As you grow, so should the type of relationship you keep.

●        Who are my friends?

●        What do we discuss most?

●        Are they progressively thinking people?

●        Have you compartmentalized your relationships to the different groups they belong?

3. ​ How is my finance?

A good way to measure growth is in your finances, investments and assets. I said in this book that to achieve purpose you need money. I clearly wrote instances to back that claim. A financially handicapped person usually is at the mercy of people and circumstance. She knows the best thing to do per time but won’t be able to do so. She is easily tossed around and most times than often she fulfils someone else’s purpose at the expense of hers.

To determine is you are growing financially, answer these questions sincerely in your notepad.

●        Are you financially independent?

●        Do you still live with borrowing mentality?

●        Have you achieved mastery in financial intelligence?

●        How well do I invest or think investment?

4. ​ Have I now discovered myself?

You can't afford to be confused anymore. Some people woke up late and till made it, but ask them, they will tell you how they wished it was earlier. 

This is the time to clearly set your lane and track. I earlier told you how I love to do many things, but as I journeyed on, as I worked on defining purpose, read books, attend purpose driven conferences, my purpose became clearer and now I am fully walking in that realm.

Ask yourself these;

●       Have I successfully defined what success means to me? Or I still follow the crowd to think success is what they call it?

●       Success to Ms. A could be to travel round the world, while success to Ms. B could be to obtain not less than 100 certifications and 5 degrees in different fields. What is success to me?

●        What do I stand for?

●        Which lane do I really want to follow?

●       Am I still guilty of copying what others are doing and constantly still wishing to be like the other person?

●        Am I still confused like I used to do?

NOW THAT YOU HAVE DISCOVERED YOURSELF

Now that you have found purpose, begin to fuel it, nurture it, and sharpen it to become brighter by the day. 

Let me say this clearly, you need money to fuel purpose. 

Yes, you need money!

I am an advocate of multiple streams of income, I teach financial intelligent and independence. 

To fuel purpose you need to read books, of course you will have to buy the book (MONEY) 

If you are to read online, you need to buy data (MONEY) 

If you are to read in a library, you need to register with the library (MONEY), if you are to borrow from someone, you need to have nurtured the relationship (MONEY), You need a mentor or coach which also requires MONEY. 

One of the best ways to have multiple streams of income is to have something of value in exchange for money. 

I am a marketer and business administrator by education, a seamstress, financial expert and a counselor by training. 

I have always had something of value to exchange for money. I understand the secrets of turning a naira into several naira through legitimate means. 

I don't buy data just to surf the net, I make money from it. Subscribing the next month shouldn't be a worry to me because I already made money for the next. 

I run a number of online services, I sell on several e-commerce sites where I pay rentals, I operate a physical shop, I coach and even this book in your hand was paid for. 

While married, I was actively selling sewing tools offline and online, invested hugely in a fashion school together with a partner, I sell groceries, I make peanuts, chinchin, I sell call credit, ladies fashion accessories among others.

Before 30 and at 30, you should have been well trained on how money works. 

5. ​ How is my spiritual relationship and growth?

Establishing spiritually connectivity is a sure sign of growth. We are spirit beings who yearn to know what the future holds for us. Growing means you have been cleared on what works for you and what doesn’t spiritually. You should have established a perfect relationship with the Supreme Being without necessarily sourcing for an intermediary, at least not always. Everything you try to build without God will need a rebuild.

Ask yourself these;

●       Do I still doubt the need for a special intimacy with a supernatural being?

●       Do I now fully have the understanding that the root of wisdom needed to have a successful total life is in God?

●        By which means do I hear from God?

●        Do I still glory in old victories in my walk with God?

●       Have I researched the scriptures to see that there is no part (relationship, finance, health business etc.) of human life that hasn’t been addressed there?

6. ​ How is my health and wellness?

It requires a healthy mind to think straight. A sick man’s prayer is just to get well and nothing else. The thinking that healthy lifestyle is expensive shouldn’t be a thought of a growing person. If you think healthy living is expensive, so is sickness and funeral.

Now, lets ask ourselves these questions;

●       Am I still of the belief that the end of every man is death and so I pay so little attention to health matters?

●        How am I fairing with my mental health and balance?

●        Have I created a health routine for myself?

●       As you grow, so are things you are expected to eat. How well am I doing these?

●        Do I handle difficult and depressing matters better and maturely?

A thorough analysis and honest response to the above checklist is a good way to determine if you are truly growing or you are just aging.

As you grow, you should better understand how to be open to criticism and not easily be on the defensive. No one is an island, you are not one either. You should also know as you grow that not every cup is worth drinking from, not every advice should be taken nor absorbed.

As you grow, learn how to handle rejections without letting it get into you. You cannot totally control how people will treat you, but you can sure control how to react to their treatments. Being good to someone does not necessarily mean he/she would act in like manner towards you.

You should learn to expect very little from people, which is the best way to avoid being hurt.

As you grow, never despise training, learning and relearning. You should spot someone doing great at what you love to do and diligently find your way to being mentored by such person. Choosing a mentor could be a hard nut to crack especially when such person is at the peak of his/her career, however you could easily spot one who hasn’t grown to such height and gradually begin with such person while you receive mentoring by proxy from the high-end one through books they write, conferences they speak at and other materials from them.

Never forget that mentoring comes at a cost. It could cost you money, time, physical energy among others. Don’t be a parasitic mentee. Show up at your mentor’s event, volunteer to help with some of their works, buy their books, and show solidarity. Don’t just dabble into anything, LEARN and BUILD COMPETENCE in it. That is the best way to prove you are growing and not just aging.