The morning breaks in spectacular style. The birds are singing loudly, their joyful tunes complementing one another. To my surprise, the sunlight appears brighter than ever before and my eyes are unusually moist. I use my under-kirtle to gently dab them dry. In doing so, I notice that the sockets feel cool to the touch and that the heat of last night has vanished. I begin to sob uncontrollably. Not tears of sadness, but tears of joy. My lashes and cheeks are soaked within minutes. There is no other answer for it; a miracle has happened. I can see. I can see! For the first time in my life, everything is in focus. Nothing is smudged or distorted and the milky white mist that has always been there is gone. I resist the urge to scream and instead pace back and forth with speed. I begin to question myself. What if I’m wrong? What if this is just temporary? Surely it’s not wise to mention anything yet. I rock my head gently from side to side before going over to the window. I need to clear my head before I join the others. I need to calm myself.
When I eventually enter the hall, I find myself on my own. Fortunately, there is still plenty of food for me to break my fast on. After a short while, Brother Palmer enters to clear the last of the remnants away. On seeing me, he turns and stares directly at me.
“Mistress, you startled me. I had not realised you were here. Are you happy for me to carry on clearing?”
“Oh yes, Brother, please ignore me. I’m nearly finished. I’ll be gone in a couple of minutes.” Something about Brother Palmer’s manner unsettles me.
“I did not knock and wake you earlier, mistress, as I noticed that a light burnt in your room well into the early hours.” His eyes question me. No doubt he wonders if I was on my own or if someone was with me. Smiling, I choose to ignore him and leave. Being able to see this clearly will certainly be a great help in the future. No doubt I will see many things that I did not see before and that includes people’s suspicions.
Returning to my room, I quickly pack my belongings and return to the hall to meet everyone. How different they all appear today. I try desperately hard not to stare. As Charlemain approaches me, I realise that he is much older than I had first thought.
“Bethany, I have a favour to ask. Will you accompany me?”
“Of course, Charlemain, is there a problem?”
“No, my dear, not a problem, but I need to speak to you in private about a request.”
As we walk, curiosity gets the better of me. “Where are we going?”
“To the infirmary, my dear, but please do not worry. In fact, I have relatively good news. At last, Agnes has given in and agreed to rest for a day or two in the infirmary. She is very tired, but her spirits are high. She has befriended a dear old soul already. Her name is Clarise and she must be at least eighty years of age, if not older. She was also on pilgrimage to Walsingham, but exhaustion overtook her. Alas, she is in a bad way and has lost all movement from the waist down. The infirmarer thinks that Clarise will live, but is at a loss over how to treat her. Next week she will be transferred to a local nunnery, where she will be well looked after. She will be comfortable there.” Charlemain, noting the worry on my face, seeks to allay my fears. “Please, my dear, do not worry. Her future, likes ours, is dictated by the lord and he will call her home when the time is right. Until then, her life will be spent resting. She will have food, drink and a comfortable bed. The nuns are used to looking after pilgrims, especially those who are old and frail. They include them as much as possible in the life of the nunnery and, more importantly, they are kind and friendly. Clarise will be engaged in a life of offering up prayers. This is where you come in. Clarise has requested that someone complete her pilgrimage for her and, on hearing this, Agnes immediately mentioned your name. Clarise would dearly like to meet you.”
This request warms my heart and I nod in agreement.
The infirmary is much larger than I expected and once inside, I realise that it is separated into two parts. Immediately to the left is the infirmarer’s room where herbs hang from the wooden joists. The smell is magnificent. Rosemary is the dominant fragrance, although I can detect the presence of sage, thyme and fennel. In the middle of the room is a large wooden table, which is partially hidden under a mountain of linen bags. Pots of all different shapes and sizes are also scattered about. To my right is a finely panelled door, which Charlemain steps forward and opens. The atmosphere inside is tranquil. Truckle beds line the walls, while a roaring fire burns in the central hearth. The air is moist and beautifully scented with flowers.
“Yoo-hoo! Bethany, we’re over here.” Agnes and Clarise wave to get my attention.
I walk over and drop to my knees besides Agnes’ bed. I notice immediately how her skin appears greatly improved and how her eyes have begun to sparkle again. She is cocooned within a sheepskin-lined truckle and covered with a linen sheet. Her hair gleams and her cheeks are pink.
“Well, what do you make of all this then? I’m so lucky to be here, don’t you think? I’m warm and comfortable and I can rest in peace. In a couple of days’ time, I’ll be back on my feet and a pilgrim once more, although I have been persuaded to travel the last leg of the journey in a cart. I am in two minds about this, but – on balance – I think it’s for the best. I’m determined to complete my pilgrimage and, for once in my life, I have decided to accept help. I’m sure that I will enjoy Walsingham far more when I’m refreshed.” Hardly stopping to draw breath, Agnes begins once more. “Now, Bethany, please meet my new friend, Clarise.”
Clarise raises her hand to shake mine, but her arm falls back to her side before I can reach it. Clarise’s cheeks redden. “I’m so sorry, my dear, but I’m unable to control my body nowadays. Nothing seems to work in the same way as it did before, apart from my mind and my mouth – that’s it. Thank the Lord I’m still blessed with these gifts.”
Agnes indicates that she would like me to move closer to Clarise.
“Mistress Bethany, I hear good things about you and this warms my heart. I have been told that you are pious, gentle and kind. Good of heart and generous beyond measure. Therefore, I ask for your assistance. I am in dire need of your help. My time on earth is running out and I still have things that I need to do. I’m in no state to finish my pilgrimage, so please, I beg of you, could you finish it for me?” Tears erupt from Clarise’s eyes and begin to spill down her cheeks.
Immediately, I take her hands in mine and lay a kiss upon them. “Of course, it will be an honour to finish your pilgrimage for you.”
With a smile and a nod, Clarise visibly relaxes. “Thank you, Bethany, you will never know how much this means to me. Now, let me tell you what I need you to do. Time is running out even as we speak. When you arrive at Walsingham, please offer up my prayers at the Shrine of the Blessed Virgin and then light four candles. As you light each candle, please recite these words: ‘Clarise remembers the days that have gone before and all those who have touched her life with love and joy. She thanks the Lord for keeping her safe and for guiding her along the way’. The candles are for my mother, my father, my husband and my child. After lighting the candles, please leave my donation.”
I recite the words over and over again in my head, just to make sure that I can remember them.
“Now, Bethany, please can you get my purse for me? It’s over there, on my belt.”
Clarise’s purse is well-worn and made from dark-brown leather. It has two large belt loops and a long leather strap for fastening it to her belt. On the top flap, a white rose has been added. The stitching that holds it in place is very neat. Whoever made it certainly had an eye for detail.
“Now, Bethany, please remove all the coins and count them carefully.”
On opening Clarise’s purse, I am surprised by just how many coins there are. Once counted, I have twenty shillings, but I count them once again just to make sure.
“Excellent. Now, Bethany, can you get my cloak? I need you to cut the bottom hem of it for me.”
“Surely, I cannot cut your cloak?”
“Oh, but you must. You will understand why when you do so.”
Lifting it, I am surprised by the weight – so much so that I am relieved to sit down and drape it across my lap. Cutting the hem with my little scissors, I try as hard as possible not to damage it too much, but the weight from within causes the lining to unravel and tear. All of a sudden, a great many coins begin to drop to the floor. Charlemain kindly stoops down and helps me collect them. To my surprise, Clarise’s hem has yielded another twenty shillings. I just cannot believe how much money Clarise has been carrying around with her. Forty shillings! That amount could buy at least two horses.
“Now, Bethany, I need you to separate the coins into four piles. Please can you put fourteen shillings aside for the infirmarer and fifteen shillings for the nunnery. Ten shillings for the shrine at Walsingham and one shilling for you.”
Shocked at such kindness, I hesitate. “No, Clarise, I cannot accept money for finishing your pilgrimage.”
“Oh yes, you can, my dear. Agnes warned me that you would say as much, but it is my wish.”
I look at the coin in my hand and accept it with grace and humility. “Thank you, Clarise. I don’t know what to say. It’s so kind of you.”
“Bethany, you do not need to say anything. I am just grateful for your help.”
With this, Clarise smiles before closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep. Agnes appears overjoyed.
“Bethany, you are a good soul and you have done a good deed today. See how Clarise sleeps. You have given her a great deal of comfort. Now, I would like to speak of my journey. As you know, I will meet you at Walsingham. I long for us to be together again, as I will miss you with all my heart.” Agnes pats my head gently.
I can no longer hold in my news. “Agnes, before I go, I must tell you something. Now, promise not to shout loudly when I tell you.”
“I shall try to remain quiet, but that all depends on how excited I get.”
“Well, I believe that a miracle has taken place. After touching St Thomas’s finger, I felt a strange sensation and then, after waking, I can see clearly. The milkiness has gone and everything is clear. I have told no one else as I am still in shock myself, but I wanted you to know before I leave. Now, I can read and write and see people’s faces as never before.”
Agnes places both hands over her mouth. I can see that she is desperately trying not to yelp with excitement. Her body begins to rock from side to side. Unsurprisingly, it takes quite a while for Agnes to still herself and let her hands drop to her side. Her face is beaming.
“That is indeed a miracle and one that I have prayed for ever since we first met. Purity radiates from you, my dear, and it touches the hearts of all those who come into contact with you.”
Rising, I place a kiss on Agnes’ forehead before she, too, falls asleep.
Charlemain, as kind as ever, touches my shoulder. “It’s time that we leave; the others will be waiting for us.”
As we approach the north gate, I can see Pip and the others sitting on a low wall. Before we reach them, Charlemain stops, places his hand on my arm and asks, “Are you alright, Bethany?”
“Oh yes, I was just thinking about Clarise and Agnes.”
“Please do not fret, Bethany. They’re in the best place. Agnes will rejoin us at Walsingham, God willing, and Clarise is at peace now, safe in the knowledge that you will complete her pilgrimage for her.”
My mood begins to lift when Pip smiles at me.
“Are we ready to go Charlemain?” he asks.
“Yes, Pip. I’m sorry to have kept everyone waiting for so long.”
“Ah… do not worry about that. Did all go well in the infirmary?”
“Yes, very well indeed.”
“Excellent, let’s go then.”
Hearing this, everyone picks up their belongings and we file out through the open doorway. As we move away, we can hear the gates shut behind us and the heavy iron bolts being drawn across. West Acre is secure once more. It is unfortunate that I never got to say goodbye to Brother Kenneth or Brother Prior, but I understand that they had urgent business to return to and that they could not wait for us to return from the infirmary.
To take my mind off Agnes and Clarise, I decide to ask about the day ahead. “Well, Charlemain, where do we travel to today?”
Charlemain’s excitement is clear for all to see. “Today is the easiest day of the journey so far, my dear. This track will take us directly to South Acre and then onto Castle Acre. It’s only a short walk, but one that I love with all my heart. Today, we are free to stroll and enjoy this beautiful area.”
As has become tradition, I accompany Charlemain – although, in reality, we all walk together, as our numbers have diminished even further. Now, there are only seven of us in total: Charlemain, myself, Pip, Owain, Davy, Alard and Ned. I am the only female remaining and I am acutely aware that I am being protected. I wonder if the letter in my satchel has become ever more important.