Chapter 25

On the backwater planet of Enterol VI, Fred calculated the long list of numbers for the third time. The sum remained the same. “You’re sure I can’t convince you to hang around a while longer?” he said. “Spring is coming. Lots of really good mud wallows, if you’re into that kind of thing.” He wiggled his antennae suggestively. But the big guy just shook his massive head.

“Suit yourself,” Fred said. He turned the padd around so that it was visible to his fleshy friend. “Six hundred and eighty-two credits,” the bartender said. “I gave you the ‘friends and family’ discount.”

The customer nodded appreciatively and reached into his pocket, pulling out a few slips of gold-pressed latinum and some other odds and ends of alien currency. Grunting impatiently, he requested an empty shot glass.

“A what?” said Fred, thinking he’d misunderstood some colloquialism that originated in a different region of space.

The customer repeated his request.

“Okay, okay,” said Fred with a shrug. He retrieved a tiny glass and set it on the bar, then watched in fascination as the big guy closed his eyes, took a few shallow breaths, and regurgitated a tiny amount of liquid into the glass.

Fred picked up the glass and held it close to one of his multifaceted eyes. “That . . . that’s latinum. Pure liquid latinum. Looks like—yup—right on the money! To the millicredit!”

His customer laughed heartily, then asked a question.

“Nah, I’m not grossed out,” said Fred, transferring the latinum to a flask he kept behind the counter. “I have customers with worse liquids coming out of their mouths, if you know what I mean. This one guy—”

But his friend’s attention had drifted to the big screen over the bar, where the familiar interlocking polygon logo of the Federation News Service was once again in view. Fred saw the familiar female humanoid reporter and automatically turned up the volume.

“—Darvis for FNS. Yet another shocking twist in the saga of the missing priceless scroll of Gint, the first Ferengi Nagus. FNS has learned that a second forgery has been found! This one was in the possession of former Grand Nagus Zek, who is believed to have commissioned both forgeries over fourteen years ago! Where the real scroll is today is a question that no one seems able to answer. But that’s not stopping certain interested parties from making guesses.”

Eisla’s feed segued to an interview she’d conducted earlier on the docking ring, where a shuttle was about to depart from the station. “I understand you have firsthand knowledge of what went on the night of the embassy dedication,” she addressed a young Ferengi. “Do you believe that former Nagus Zek and current Nagus Rom collaborated in this scheme to defraud the Ferengi people?”

“Oh, no—Zek can barely find his way out of the turbolift,” said the Ferengi. “And Rom doesn’t have the lobes to plan something like this. I’d lay odds that the real culprit is Ambassador Quark.”

Eisla nodded, as if she’d suspected that all along. “The Ferengi Board of Liquidators is meeting in special session this evening,” she noted. “And I’ve heard that the Ferengi Commerce Authority is forming a special task force to get to the bottom of this.”

“That’s right,” the young Ferengi said enthusiastically. “And when I get back to Ferenginar, I’m going straight to them, to tell them everything I know.”

Eisla smiled. “Well, thank you very much, Mister . . .”

“Shmenge, FCA,” he said with a huge grin. “Well . . . future FCA, that is.”

The feed returned to Eisla, live on the Plaza. “At this time, the status of the two Nagi is unclear. They remain on Space Station Deep Space 9, but whether they—or Ambassador Quark—will be permitted to remain here or be extradited has yet to be announced. We’ll continue reporting as further details become known.”

Abruptly, the big man watching the newsbreak slammed his meaty fist against the countertop and launched into a blazing litany of profanities. He talked too fast for Fred to discern exactly what he was so worked up about, but the Enteroli did manage to parse one sentence:

That larcenous little rat kept the original!

And before Fred could wish him a pleasant journey, his former favorite customer raced out the door.