12. EDUCATING THE GENTRY AND THE URBAN ELITES

INTRODUCTION

The education of the rural and urban “middle class” differed only slightly from that of the elites in medieval British society. Children of the gentry and the urban merchant classes were expected to be literate and were trained for managerial and administrative positions. Girls and women among the middle classes were trained in ways that were not so different from their elite neighbors: in estate and household management, in religious instruction, and in administration. The largest difference between the two social groups was that boys and men of the urban elite were not trained to be warriors and those of the gentry usually were trained to be archers and esquires, although those of the upper levels of the gentry could aspire to be knights.

By the fourteenth century, the training of children of the middle classes was becoming a profoundly literate process, with numerous “conduct manuals” produced, as well as poems and other kinds of literature designed to be taught and memorized. The two texts, “The Boy Standing at the Table” (Stans puer ad mensam) and “How the Goodwife Taught Her Daughter” are but two examples.

KEEP IN MIND AS YOU READ

Although both texts are designed to imply that the “speaker” is a parent, it is likely that the poem, “The Boy Standing at the Table,” was written by a member of the clergy, perhaps a chaplain or tutor instructing his charges in good table manners, and “How the Goodwife Taught Her Daughter” was definitely written by a male member of the clergy who decided to produce a companion piece to the contemporary text, “How the Goodman Taught His Son.”

Document 1: Educating Children

The Boy Standing at the Table

My dear son, first yourself enable

With all your heart to virtuous discipline;

Before your sovereign, standing at the table,

Dispose yourself, after my doctrine,

To all nurture thy courage to incline: to all education your will should incline

let not your back abide: stand straight

debate: competition

To all nurture thy courage to incline.

First, let all recklessness in speaking cease,

And keep both hands and fingers still [and] at peace.

Be simple of cheer, do not look aside,

Gaze not about, nor turn your sight over all;

Against the post let not your back abide,

. . .

Pick not thy nose, and especially . . .

Before your sovereign do not scratch nor pick at anything.

. . .

Pare clean your nails, and wash your hands also,

Before sitting down to eat, and when you do arise [from the table],

Sit in that place you are assignéd to,

. . .

Grinning and making faces at the table eschew;

Cry not too loud; honestly keep silence.

. . .

With full mouth speak not, lest you make offence.

Drink not with a full mouth because of haste or negligence

. . .

Thy teeth at table pick not with no knife. . . .

. . .

Be well advised, and namely, from a young age,

To drink moderately, both wine and ale.

. . .

In children war is both mirth and now debate;

In their quarrel is no great violence;

Now play, now weeping, and seldom in one estate,

To their complaints give never any credénce.

A rod reformeth all their negligence.

In their hearts no rancor does abide.

Who that spares the rod all virtues set aside.

. . .

How the Goodwife Taught Her Daughter

The goodwife taught her daughter many times and often how to be a good woman. For she said, “Daughter come to me: something good now you must hear, if you will prosper.”

Daughter, if you will be a wife, look wisely to your work; look lovingly and be good; love God and the Holy Church. Go to church whenever you may—even in the rain, for God might listen best on that day. . . .My dear child. . . .

Gladly give your tithes and offerings [to the church], to the poor and sick give your own goods and be generous, for seldom is the house poor where God is the steward: he is proved well whom the poor love, my dear child.

When you sit in church over your [rosary] beads, do not gossip or talk to friends. . . . Be generous of spirit and kind [because] through this your worship increases, my dear child.

If a man courts you and would marry you, do not scorn him no matter his station, but let your friends know [of his interest]. Do not sit near him, lest you should sin . . . my dear child.

The man who weds you before God with a ring, love him and honor him most of any earthly thing. Answer him meekly and not shrewishly, so that you may gentle his mood and be his dear darling. Fair and meek words slay anger, my dear child.

Be fair of speech, glad and mild of mood, true in word and deed and of good conscience. Keep from sin, villainy, and blame; and bear yourself so that no one can consider you shameful. For he who lives a good life has won his reward, my dear child.

Be seemly in your appearance, wise, and cheerful; do not respond to anything you hear. Don’t be a giddy girl; don’t laugh too loud or yawn too wide, but laugh softly and mildly and don’t be too wild, my dear child.

When you walk, do not go too fast, don’t move your head and shoulders [when you walk—that is, don’t walk provocatively]. Don’t talk too much and do not swear, because such manners lead to ill-fame . . . my dear child.

Do not go to town just to gawk; and do not go to the tavern after selling your homespun cloth at the market. For they who haunt taverns from thriftiness descend to want, my dear child.

And if you are in a place where good ale is sold, whether you are serving or being served, drink moderately so that no blame befalls you, for if you become drunk you will be shamed . . . my dear child.

Do not go to wrestling matches or cock-shoots like a strumpet or a giggling girl. Dwell at home and love your work, and so be rich sooner . . . my dear child.

Do not introduce yourself to men on the street or keep them talking, lest your heart be tempted. For not all men who speak fair words are true, my dear child.

Also, do not take gifts [from men] unless you know the reason [for the gift]; for men may with gifts overcome [faithful] women who are as true as steel or stone . . . my dear child.

And govern your house wisely, and do not be too harsh or liberal with your serving maids and men. But look to what most needs doing and set your people at it quickly and soon . . . my dear child.

And if your husband is away, do not let your servants behave badly; watch who does well and who does not; he that does well, reward, but he who does not, punish. . . . my dear child.

And if you are pressed for time and much to do, set to work . . . speedily; they will all do better [if they see you working]. For many hands make light work; and after your labor your reputation will rise, my dear child. . . .

[Be firm, but do not be tyrannical when dealing with servants; keep watch over the keys; pay everyone their fair wages promptly]

And if your neighbor’s wife is richly attired, do not mock or be envious. But thank God for what you have from Him, and so you will live a good life . . . my dear child.

On working days act the housewife, but on Sunday clothe yourself well and honor the Holy Day, and God will cherish you . . . my dear child.

When you are a wife, you are also a neighbor, love your neighbors well, as God has commanded . . . and do to them what you would have done to you. If any discord occurs, make it no worse and mend it if you are able, my dear child.

If you are a rich wife, do not be stingy, but welcome your neighbors generously with food, drink, and honest cheer . . . my dear child.

[Do not make your husband poor by overspending. A man may spend only what he has . . . Do not borrow too much or put on ostentatious displays with borrowed money . . .]

And if your children become rebellious, do not curse or scold them; but take a rod and beat them until they cry mercy and admit their guilt. Dear child, through this lesson they will love you more.

And look to your daughters, that none are lovelorn [vulnerable to improper relationships]. Busy yourself in making good marriages and marry them off as soon as they are of age [thirteen]. [For] maidens are fair and amiable, but unstable in love, my dear child.

Now I have taught you, daughter, as my mother taught me; think about this night and day and do not forget. Be moderate as I have taught you, and whatever man weds you will not regret it. It would be better not to have been borne than ignorant of this lesson, my dear child. . . .

The blessing of God may you have, and of his mother, and all angels and archangels and every holy creature! And may you have grace to live rightly and go to the bliss of heaven, where God sits in His might!

Amen.

Source: Rickert, Edith. The Babees’ Book: Medieval Manners for the Young: Done into Modern English from Dr. Furnivall’s Texts. London/New York: Duffield & Co. 1908. Pp. 26–42. Modernized and edited by editor.

AFTERMATH

The popularity of conduct manuals and other pedagogic aids only grew in the later Middle Ages, especially with the invention of the printing press and the development of grammar schools and parish or municipal schools in the early modern period. Conduct manuals were among the most frequently reproduced books of the Middle Ages and form the model for etiquette manuals and conduct books even into the modern period.

ASK YOURSELF

1. What are the most important lessons that medieval middle-class children were expected to learn?

2. In what ways were the lessons to be learned different for boys and girls?

3. Why is there such an emphasis on good table manners and polite behavior?

TOPICS TO CONSIDER

1. Compare the kinds of training children of the middle classes experienced and the education of those of the elite class. In what ways were they similar? What are the differences?

2. In the History of William Marshal, the emphasis in William’s young years was on courtesy and bravery. This is not emphasized in “The Boy Standing at the Table” although the idea of “courtesy” as a kind of etiquette is implied. Consider how the poem might have been used to instruct a young knight-in-training like William Marshal, whose social status—at least in his youth—was only slightly more elevated than the boy described as serving at the table.

3. Compare “The Rules of Saint Robert” and “How the Goodwife Taught Her Daughter.” Consider the ways in which the two texts might be complementary and might be used to complete the training of a young woman destined to be married into a gentry or an elite family. Consider also how the two texts might not be compatible if the girl in question was from an urban elite family.

Further Information

Goldberg, P. J. P. “The Fashioning of Bourgeois Domesticity in Later Medieval England: A Material Culture Perspective.” In Medieval Domesticity: Home, Housing and Household in Medieval England, edited by Maryanne Kowaleski and P. J. P. Goldberg, 124–144. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 2008.

Hanawalt, Barbara A. Growing Up in Medieval London: The Experience of Childhood in History. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1993.

Orme, Nicholas. “Education and Recreation.” In Gentry Culture in Late Medieval England, edited by Raluca Radulescu and Alison Truelove, 63–83. Manchester: Manchester University Press, 2006.