Chapter 37
There’s a scuffling sound from just out of sight. It’s Zot. She’s on her way back down. When she gets to about the tenth ladder rung from the bottom, she jumps off, does a flip, and lands in the middle of the rest of us.
“Well?” Gil asks. “What did you find out?”
Zot tells us what she overheard about the Zorb. And how we’ll all die if we get too close to it. And that whoever is driving the robot intends to get VERY close to it. Super. Why doesn’t an asteroid just land on our heads while we’re at it?
“And it sounds like he’s planning to use the Zorb to take over the universe,” she adds.
“So it’s a he?” I ask.
Zot thinks it over for a second. “Well, it sure sounded like a he. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned since I’ve been on the space station, it’s to never take anything for granted.”
Don’t I know it.
“This is bad. REAL BAD! Why did I ever let Kelvin talk me into sneaking into the lab in the first place?”
“What? This was all your idea, Rand-El. I was happy to just stay home tonight and play with Lightyear.”
“Well, that’s not how I remember it. Not that it matters. It sounds like we’ll all be dead in a few minutes anyway.”
“We’ll be just fine. Or did you forget—we happen to have Kelvin with us. He’ll think of something to get us out of this mess. Right, Kelv?”
“Uhh… about that…”
“In fact, he probably already did.”
“Well, I…”
“I mean, there’s NO WAY the smartest kid in the entire universe is going to let his pals die a horrible and gruesome death, am I right?”
That’s it! I can’t take it anymore. If this is the end, then there’s no way I’m going down lying to these guys. And if that means they don’t respect me anymore, fine. If they only liked me in the first place because they thought I was smart, so be it. It’s not like I’ll have to spend much time being friendless anyway, the way things are going.
“Okay, look, everybody—I’ve got a confession to make. I’m not really a Mighty Mega Supergenius. I mean, I hope to be someday—I expect it to kick in at some point, but it definitely hasn’t yet. And I’m really sorry for leading everybody on since I got here. And I understand if you all hate me for lying about it. I wanted to tell you all sooner, but the whole thing just kept growing and growing and turned into such a big deal that I was too embarrassed to let the cat out of the bag.”
“Ha, ha! Kelvin are not smart!”
“Hey, that’s all right, Kelvin. Heck, I might not be as handsome as I think I am, either.”
“Definitely not. And there’s no way Zot can be as peppy and cheerful as she tries to make us all believe.”
“Okay. Bad example.”
“Wait a minute! This is all real sweet and everything, but with Kelvin turning out to be a dud in the smarts department—”
“I wouldn’t say ‘dud,’ exactly—”
“Whatever. The point is, who the heck is going to get us out of this mess now?!”
“Yeah! Rand-El is right! When this robot lands near the Zorb, we’re all going to turn to goo. I don’t want to turn to goo. I’m a strictly non-goo kind of guy!”
“I don’t know. It might be kind of fun! Well, except for the being-dead part, I mean.”
I guess they really were counting on me to get us out of this jam. And why wouldn’t they? I was the smartest kid in the universe, after all. With that out the door, though, everybody’s starting to lose it.
“All right,” I say, “let’s try not to panic. We need to take this one step at a time. And the first thing we need to do is make sure this robot doesn’t land anywhere near that Zorb.”
Rand-El looks at me with scrunched eyebrows. All six of them.
“And just how are we supposed to do that, Mr. Genius?”
And that’s what I was afraid of. Although the “Mr.” part was a nice touch.
“I don’t know,” I say. “But I know someone who does.”
“And who might that be?” Rand-El asks, his eyebrows scrunching even more.
“Him,” I say, pointing toward the corner.
Rand-El looks confused. “Brian?” he says. “You mean the guy playing twiddly toes over there? He’s going to get us out of this mess?”
“Sure,” I say, “we just need to calm him down so his brain grows.”
Now Rand-El looks more mad than confused. “Calm him down? Out here? Brian gets stressed out when he has to pick between regular and low-fat snorge slices at lunch!”
“We have to take his mind off the situation,” I say. “Can anybody sing?”
Zot leaps to her feet. “Grimnee can! She’s great! She was the choir in the talent show last month!”
“You mean she was in the choir,” I tell her.
“No! She was the whole thing!”
Grimnee jumps to her feet.
Even with her helmet on, she sounds fantastic. It’s like a whole bunch of voices are coming out of the same mouth.
“How does she do that?” I ask Zot.
“She told me she has four throats. She can even eat and sing at the same time. When she has a cough, though, you do not want to be anywhere close.”
It seems to be working! Brian is just staring at Grimnee, and his brain is beginning to pulse. And grow. I never really watched too closely before. It’s pretty gross. When his brain has grown to the point that it completely fills his dome, Brian speaks.
“We need to disrupt the robot’s propulsion system and force it into an emergency landing. The odds that we’ll be far enough from the Zorb to remain safe are extremely high.”
“Oh yeah?” Zot says. “How high?”
“About thirteen percent,” answers Brian.
Zot looks confused. “Only THIRTEEN PERCENT!”
Brian grins. “Just kidding,” he says. “I thought the mood needed a little lightening up around here. The odds are actually closer to ninety-three percent.”
I walk over to Gil’s bubble. “You see that electronics panel over there?”
“Yeah,” he says. “What about it?”
“Get it wet. That should shut down the propulsion system in this entire leg.”
Now it’s Spotch who looks confused. “Wait a minute,” he says. “I thought you said you weren’t that smart.”
“Well, I’m smart enough to read that sign,” I say.
Gil looks excited. “Okay. I’m on it!”
The huge thrust cylinder in the robot’s leg begins to shudder. Then sputter. And then it stops completely. It worked!
Brian nods his enormous-brained head approvingly. “Nicely done! There should still be enough control left with the right-leg propulsion unit for the robot to make a somewhat safe emergency landing on the planetoid.”
“Somewhat safe?” Rand-El asks.
“Eighty-seven percent chance,” Brian answers.
With only one leg thruster working, the robot’s flight becomes very unsteady. We’re having a tough time keeping our balance. Well, except for Zot.
Another idea pops into my head, and I stumble over to Brian to bounce it off him. He nods again, and this time the enormous weight of his brain nearly makes him topple over. Once he regains his balance, he heads off toward a huge junction of switches and cables.
A red emergency light is flashing, and a warning alarm is going off. We must be getting close to the planetoid.
“Okay, everybody,” I shout over the noise, “when we touch down, we need to get out of here right away and find cover.”
A third idea just popped into my head.