“Men Wanted for Dangerous Expedition: Low Wages for Long Hours of Arduous Labour under Brutal Conditions; Months of Continual Darkness and Extreme Cold; Great Risk to Life and Limb from Disease, Accidents and Other Hazards; Small Chance of Fame in Case of Success.”
—ERNEST SHACKLETON
I AM NOT A natural traveler. Some people find it the pinnacle of cozy—why? Adventure, seeking themselves in the unknown, they moved around as kids, curiosity about other lands and peoples. The food. In his memoir, Bruce Springsteen wrote about his life, lots of it spent on the road, “I felt great elation at the wheel . . . it all felt like home . . .” But for me it’s a tough nut to crack.
Travel challenges familiarity and comfort, but hardly a soul would make the case to stay at home. Looking at a map, charting a course, is necessary to expand, walk in someone else’s shoes, grow one’s point of view, gain perspective—even the light looks different on one side of town from the other, and it’s good to see that. Noting the light anywhere is a cozy thing to do because it’s one of the easier ways we can connect to nature. Have you ever heard of “God light”? When sunbeams shine through low-lying stratus clouds? There has been many a troublesome time where I looked to the sky for God light.
Still and all, roving—even if your mind gets blown by pasta in Italy, a thatched roof, or a new language—is in its very nature disorienting and uprooting. To deal with being a stranger in a strange land, I would imagine that even the most fernweh nomads weave familiarity and routine into their escapades, small touchstones or habits to remind them of who they are.
Years ago, when I was pregnant, I read Endurance: Shackleton’s Incredible Voyage by Alfred Lansing. The book recounts the expedition the master explorer Ernest Shackleton led from Norway to the Antarctic. I almost named the growing baby Shackleton, I was so impressed with his fortitude and ability to keep the crew moving forward and optimistic even when, in 1914, his schooner was mortally stuck in ice. Once the ship had sunk, he and his nineteen crew members survived for another two years until they reached civilization and rescue.
In an article about Shackleton for the New York Times, Nancy F. Koehn wrote, “He knew that in this environment, without traditional benchmarks and supports, his greatest enemies were high levels of anxiety and disengagement, as well as a slow-burning pessimism.” Now, this is drastic, of course, but it makes me think about all movement and disruption of order. How do we keep the coziness? How did Shackleton do it? He was organized, kept journals, tried to stay warm, made lists, and relied on structure to get everyone from one day to the next. If we know that control and organization aid in coziness, it makes good sense to start any endeavor, especially one that takes you away from home, with a list. One more thing about lists: lists strike me as questions waiting to be addressed. What do you have control of? What do you want control of? Maybe nothing? When do you get cold, sick, exhausted? Can something on a list help you find comfort should any of these maladies occur?
I don’t travel internationally very often, but for this book, I chose a few cities to explore coziness. Even though it sounds spoiled to say it, I wasn’t enthusiastic to travel alone, leaving my husband and children and flying on airplanes. I wanted to stay at home. Leaving our well-honed routine felt chaotic, possibly irresponsible. I got in my head about it and had a few sleepless nights.
What I needed to do right away was impose order and make a list. I understand that many people who read this will cry out in agony, as the last thing some people think of as cozy is a list. But I go forth unafraid.
ISABEL’S TRAVEL QUESTIONS
What are you leaving? Where are you going?
Time change? Jet lag can compromise coziness, makes me feel the end is near—might be good to prepare for it mentally or with tricks like drinking a ton of water on the plane.
Clothes. Are you comfortable with your choices? You can change what you pack up until the very last minute.
Temperature. This is especially important if you are going somewhere cold. Do you have enough to keep you warm? Even warm climates can be chilly at night.
Take time to take care of what you’re leaving. Watering the plants and making the bed will make the arrival home welcoming.
Important telephone numbers in case you lose your way?
Is it business travel, pleasure travel, tragedy travel, long-planned travel, unexpected travel? It’s good to name your travel so you can adjust what you bring or even be aware of your mind-set.
Hotel bedrooms. What comes to mind? What do you want? Airbnb? Off the beaten path? On it?
Food and water. Is any of it going to make you sick? Do you care?
Prescriptions. Do you have what you need?
How old are you? It matters.
Itineraries. Do you have one? Do you stay in one place? Have a plan, or not have a plan?
Trains, planes, and automobiles. Which one do you feel the best about?
Passports and organization. Up to date?
Mistakes. What’s the plan for failure?
Delays. Do you have something to do? See Hobbying.
Missed travel plans. Another bus always comes along, but when? Or do you care?
Packing. When will you begin?
Goals. What do you want out of your trip?
Guides, maps, articles. Information on where you are going? Or, we’ll see when we get there?
Travel research. Or not? Some people want real discovery.
Food.
Who are you traveling with?
Language.
My friend Dewi is a consummate and frequent traveler. She lives in Europe and travels for work and to see her far-flung family. Seemed fitting to ask for her list.
Dewi’s List
Sleep socks with rubber-dot soles for bathroom on plane
Travel with pashmina—chic and blanket
Comfy yet versatile pants
No jewelry, just makeup
Addicting series
Dark eye mask and silicone earplugs
Take one big carb. Bagel and banana—no plane food ever
One black trouser
One jeans
One bathing suit (never know)
One trainers and one versatile shoe loafer
Small amounts of all makeup, creams
Good PJs
Book
Be Euro, wear the same thing every day
Keep a little room in suitcase to buy souvenirs and gifts
Make sure your bag/knapsack/roller is not too heavy, make your journey a holiday from real strains
Go way in advance to airport, no stress
Put on earphones in lines, don’t wear stuff you have to take off in security
The person whom I most associate with travel is my childhood friend Bess. Somewhere along the way during our forty-year friendship, we started calling each other Rudy. Rudy is always on the go.
Rudy on Travel
“I think my main thing would be to bring the cozy with you. Bring a teeny pillow and set it right away on the bed. Always have a nice shawl and spread it over the bed as needed (sometimes the bedcovers are depressing). Always unpack right away and place your homey, cozy objects around the room. And if there is a bath, immediately take one and soak in the place. Always find cozy neighborhood spots for coffee and general supplies. Don’t leave your kit with a k packed either. Move into the space as much as possible, like it’s a nest. In China, at the Monkey King Hotel, I always remember my hotel room that I lived in for six weeks. I adored the view (this is very important—you must find something to cherish in your view even if it’s not textbook pretty). I had a BEAUTIFUL weeping willow outside my window in China and some sort of whitewashed nothing wall beside a little kind of creek—but it looked so Chinese I practically died of happiness.
Also, if there are routines at home that you enjoy, like jogging, definitely keep them up abroad. No reason to abandon the habits that bring you joy and make you feel like yourself simply because you’re in a different city! I can remember runs in France in champagne country at eighteen, France in vineyards all those Bordeaux years, millions of Italian runs. It also makes you truly know a place to navigate it like that. So maybe if people don’t jog, they should be sure to go on long walks to know their territory.
I remember arriving in China alone and pretty scared. I walked down the street to a market and ate a peach. It was so familiar that it made me calm down a bit. A peach is a peach the world over!”