MY NOBEL PRIZE

I’ve heard people around the White House a few times lately whispering about “the twenty-fifth” and “plans for the twenty-fifth,” “is Pence on board for the twenty-fifth,” and so on. It turns out it’s a surprise twenty-fifth birthday party for my daughter Tiffany, who’s apparently here in Washington at Georgetown Law School now, later in October. Nice.

I GOT A CALL from someone in Sweden who spoke English with a Swedish accent. She said I shouldn’t be disappointed on Monday when the Nobel Peace Prize is announced. I don’t get it, because they’ve already decided to give me my Nobel Prize next October, in 2018, unless I start a really big war between now and then ha ha ha. “Done,” I said. Nice. Also, it’ll be just before the midterm elections. Fantastic.