“HEY…UH…THEA?”
Thea turned from her spot on the porch. Soft light spilled through the open kitchen window behind Logan. She’d been enjoying the way the stars seemed so much closer here than in Seattle, while she waited for Whizzer to finish his end-of-the-day rounds, while she tried to forget about the horrified look on Tess’s face when she’d discovered Thea in Deb’s room, while she struggled to find the words to apologize to Logan for the day’s debacle.
“I…uh… Did the girls get to bed?” Logan sat down on the porch just outside the beam of the kitchen light. He propped his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands before him, his hunched silhouette the epitome of a man backed into a corner.
Thea’s heart went out to him. She was proud of the way he was adjusting to the unfolding emotions of the girls. He’d known exactly what to do with Tess. He could have refused Hannah’s request to visit the cemetery, but he hadn’t. “We read a bit first and then they got ready for bed without a fuss. They’re very well behaved.”
“Deb was a stickler with rules.”
Thea chuckled. “She wasn’t the only one.”
“I guess I deserve that.” He clasped and unclasped his hands. Even though she couldn’t see his face clearly, she could sense his discomfort. He wasn’t at ease with his role as Tess and Hannah’s guardian, but he was trying.
Whizzer snuffled in the bushes across the yard.
“About today…I’ve been thinking.”
“I’m sorry. I was out of line,” Thea interrupted.
“Ah…”
Thea pushed on. “I know you told me to stay out of Deb’s room and I should have listened.”
“Well…” Logan blinked, gazing at her oddly, making Thea wonder again if she was pushing Logan too far, too soon.
“Whizzer!” Thea looked around the yard for Whizzer, hoping for a reason to go back inside. It was bad enough she’d made Tess cry. When she didn’t see Whizzer, she said quickly, “It’s awfully late. I better get back to my notes.”
“Of course,” Logan said, his words a huge relief to Thea.
“Could you bring Whizzer in?”
“Yeah, sure, no problem.” Logan had a bad case of the fidgets. “Hey, um, can I ask you something first?”
Did he have something more to say about this afternoon? With a nod, Thea waited for him to continue.
He drew a deep breath. “Will you…will you marry me?”
Thea sat back in surprise, bumping her head against the porch railing, suddenly wishing she was the one sitting in the shadows instead of in the light.
Logan hurried to explain. “It would only be temporary. I’ve been fooling myself into believing that I’d find someone to run things here before I have to leave. And I don’t want to leave the girls with a stranger. We can have a prenuptial agreement drawn up and we can set up some ground rules. You can run the house and take care of the girls and Aunt Glen during the fire season. You’ll have plenty of time to study. It’ll be as if I wasn’t even here. And then sometime in the fall when things slow down for me, we’ll get a divorce.”
My first marriage proposal.
Thea couldn’t breathe.
It sucked.
Logan only wanted her to care for the twins and Glen. The stars might be shining in the sky above, but romance was not in the air. He wasn’t going to slip a ring on her finger or kiss her tenderly as if she were the most important thing in the world to him. Thea could probably tally the number of dates she’d been asked out for on two hands, and most of those invitations had been delivered with more sensitivity and sentiment than Logan’s marriage proposal.
“I know you have a whole other life but…”
“Yeah,” Thea mumbled. She had some life, all right. She’d been studying for months—or she should have been studying—to take her Ph.D. exams. Only now she was realizing she might not want to wait to have a family. Sure, she was young and there was plenty of time to finish her Ph.D. and meet someone. But that someone wouldn’t be Logan.
Oh, boy. Her instincts must be kaput. She’d practically forced him to take her on as his nanny. She’d let Logan believe her mother was dead, and hurt Tess by pushing too hard too quickly. And now, he’d proposed.
Rather than a paycheck, Thea would get a band of gold. And, most likely, a broken heart.
She should walk away. This was ludicrous. She had plans for the next year. Pass her exams, finally settle on a topic for her dissertation, write the proposal and get it approved. Then work on her dissertation until it was perfection, until it ensured her a position at a top university or lab. This was all wrong. Her mother would never approve. Forget walking.
Run! Hide!
Except Thea couldn’t move her legs as she realized Logan seemed to be waiting for her answer, as if this marriage idea was the only hope he had left. And she knew that couldn’t be right. There was someone in the state of Idaho who was perfect for this job. He just wasn’t going to find her in less than a week.
“Say something,” he prompted.
“You just can’t ask a girl to marry you and make it sound like contract negotiations,” Thea blurted.
“You, of all people, should understand the situation I’m in. You saw Wes. You know he only wants custody to claim the money from Deb’s life insurance policy. You know how he treats Tess and Hannah. If I have to fight fires, who could stop Wes from taking the girls? A babysitter or a wife?”
He made sense. If Thea wanted to protect Tess and Hannah, she should do the right thing. Which was what? Marry the man?
Marry the hunk with the sorrowful eyes?
She imagined there were many women who would kill for the deal Logan was offering her now. So what was her problem? Here was her chance at a home, at a family. Only, she didn’t know diddly about him.
Just one kiss.
That’s all she needed to determine the kind of man Logan was. Her grandmother used to say a kiss told all. Of course, he might kiss like her seventh-grade boyfriend—a cool, formal peck on the cheek—which wouldn’t be so bad because she’d finally be able to squelch the flutter Logan created in the pit of her stomach every time he looked at her. If Logan was an A-list kisser, she’d run as fast as she could in the other direction because he’d break her heart. She was already half in love with him.
“All right, forget it. It was just an idea.” He stood up.
Thea stood, too. She couldn’t believe what she was about to suggest. Where were her instincts for self-preservation? Where was that detachment her mother had had in spades?
Oh, yeah. Thea had never been the detached one in the family.
Right now, the longing in her heart could not be ignored. From the beginning, she’d wanted Logan to be a knight in shining armor, even if he wasn’t hers. From the moment she’d seen Logan, all of her usual caution had gone right out the window, replaced by a wistfulness she couldn’t begin to understand.
“Could you…would you…would you kiss me first?” she asked.
Logan towered over Thea and she wished the light wasn’t behind him, glinting off his short blond hair, wished that she could see the blue of his eyes and know if hope had replaced some of the sorrow there.
“Why?”
She couldn’t very well tell him she was giving him a road test, now, could she?
Without stopping to think about it, Thea wrapped her arms around Logan’s neck and tugged him to her, as she realized she’d been wanting to do since she met him. His lips were warm and gentle against her own, tender and nonthreatening.
Perhaps it was the surprise attack, perhaps it was just the cold way he kissed. Thea pulled back in disappointment. And relief.
Only to find Logan’s arms drawing her back.
And then he was kissing her, really kissing her. Thea could go on kissing him forever. Her fingers crept up into the short fringe of hair at the nape of his neck.
And suddenly the night air replaced the feel of Logan against her. Reluctantly, she opened her eyes to find Logan staring down at her, his hands steady on her arms.
Now that she’d discovered he was an A-List kisser, she’d be unable to resist him. She liked him, very much. She longed to ease his suffering. And he was gorgeous.
How could she resist that combo? And what would happen to her in the fall? Her heart would be crushed when he asked for a divorce and she’d most likely be ruined for any other man.
No way could she marry him. She’d have to chalk this up to the biggest missed opportunity of her life. Kids. Marriage. Helping his family heal in this picture-perfect house.
The spoiler was the fact that he didn’t love her, and certainly didn’t have her best interest at heart. And it wasn’t forever.
“I don’t think I can do this.” She said it more to convince herself than to convince him.
He cupped her chin, stroking her cheek with his thumb, sending warm shivers down her spine. “You don’t have to make up your mind tonight. I can’t get a lawyer or a justice of the peace until Monday regardless of what you decide.”
Thea was still standing on the porch, swaying slightly from the shock of his touch when Whizzer scampered up the steps and scratched at the kitchen door, ready to be let inside.
Logan hadn’t accepted her half-hearted rejection. Oh, my.
THEA HEARD the kitchen door swing open at three in the morning and whirled, trying to hide the Easter eggs she’d been dyeing. She’d had Birdie sneak an egg dye kit into her purchases a few days before. Whizzer lifted his head sleepily from his spot in the corner.
“Aha! It’s taken me thirty-one years, but I’ve finally cornered the Easter Bunny.” Logan walked over to the kitchen counter in a pair of flannel pants and a gray T-shirt. He checked out her handiwork with a frown, as somber as the stranger he’d been three days ago, as somber as he’d been last night when he’d asked her to marry him.
Thea wiped her hands on the sides of her sweats. “I thought you were one of the girls.”
“Why are you going to all this trouble?”
“Because it’s Easter. Because it’s the first Easter they’ll have without their mother.” Thea wanted to give the little girls asleep down the hall something to smile about, especially before they went to visit their mom in the cemetery.
“They’re ten, not six.” Logan stared at her in a way that made Thea uncomfortable, as if he didn’t know whether he wanted to kiss her or send her on her way.
Blast.
“You’re never too old to enjoy a special holiday.” She gently stirred an egg in a cup of green dye. “I once met a woman who was convinced every day was Christmas. She carried a supply of gifts in her purse. Even if you thought she was crazy, she made you smile and feel good about the world.”
“The woman who lived upstairs from you?”
“Yes.” Thea was impressed that he’d remembered.
Logan looked out the open kitchen window into the night. “I was just coming to get something to drink before going back to bed.”
“And now?” He was going to help her? Thea didn’t know if that was good or bad. That kiss…it was unforgettable. She risked a quick glance at his lips before sending her gaze firmly back to the eggs on the counter. It would be better if he went off to bed.
“Now you’ve reminded me of something. I’ll be right back.”
All-righty, then. He wasn’t going to help her. Thea watched Logan’s retreating back before returning to her eggs. Perhaps she’d reminded him of something that had sent him back into his grief for his sister.
The door swung open behind her, and Thea whirled once again.
“It’s just me,” Logan said wearily, as if her theatrics were too much for him at this hour.
“I don’t have X-ray vision. It could have been the girls,” Thea answered grumpily.
Logan rolled his eyes as he carried a box to the kitchen table. “Here. Deb picked up some things for the twins last summer. She knew I’d suck at this stuff.” He pulled two stuffed bunnies out of the box, then two kits with what looked like play makeup and two porcelain teacups. “I forgot to buy the chocolates,” he admitted dourly.
“But you remembered these.” Thea was so touched, she rose up on her toes and kissed his cheek before she knew what she was doing. He’d probably never realize what a wonderful man he was.
“Only because I couldn’t sleep.” Logan passed his palm over his skin where Thea’s lips had touched him. Then he moved his hand and rubbed the back of his neck.
“The subconscious works in mysterious ways.” Thea backed away, but she couldn’t stop smiling at him. “They have Easter baskets somewhere, don’t they?”
“In the hall closet.”
“Good. I was worried.” She couldn’t pull her gaze away from his. She couldn’t get over how happy she was to see him trying to be the man she knew he could be. “You know, Deb was really special to buy this stuff in advance. I don’t know if I would have been strong enough to do it, knowing the end was near.”
Logan made to leave, then said without turning, “You could have done it.”
Thea breathed a sigh of relief that he was leaving, only she couldn’t let him go back to bed just yet. “You’ll help me hide the eggs, won’t you?”
He did face her then, with a shake of his head, and with what Thea swore was almost a smile. “Don’t tell me, you’re afraid to go out there.”
“Remember me? City girl?” Thea pointed out the window. “Lions and tigers and bears.”
“Like I told you, it’s more like raccoons, coyotes and bears.”
“Same difference.” And she meant it. Anything with teeth and claws gave her the heebie-jeebies. Some people had dreams of falling off cliffs. Some people had dreams of car crashes. Thea had dreams of being trapped somewhere and being eaten alive by some sharp-toothed animal.
“You’ve got a lot to learn about the mountains.” Logan rummaged through a kitchen drawer until he found a flashlight. He checked to make sure the beam was working.
Thea opened her mouth without filtering her thoughts. “Good thing I have someone like you to teach me.”
“HOW MANY EGGS did you dye?” The sky was still inky black and Logan was longing to return to his bed, which was most likely cold by now. He looked across the yard to see what Thea was doing. She’d accepted the offer of his jacket to keep warm, which she wore over her sweats and T-shirt.
“Too many eggs, according to you,” Thea retorted, trying to balance an egg in the crook of a tree branch. It fell to the ground with a disappointing crack.
“Leave it for the raccoons. I got new bearproof trash cans this year and they’ve been unable to mooch any trash from me. They deserve a little Easter treat.”
She smiled approvingly at him, just as he knew she would. It warmed him in just the right way. His mind started anticipating moves, what he’d say, what her response would be and how best to approach her. He was rusty when it came to women. But not that out of practice.
Logan moved closer to her. “Have you thought more about my proposal?”
“No,” she answered too quickly, dropping her eyes.
“You’re lying. I bet you can’t stop thinking about it, especially not after that kiss.” He was having trouble not thinking about it. That’s why he’d gotten up in the middle of the night. He couldn’t sleep without dreaming about Thea.
“The trouble with you is—” Thea tilted her head up at him “—you think too much of yourself.”
“Guilty as charged.” He laughed. She was smart. Logan didn’t normally appreciate that in a woman, but he did in Thea. She wasn’t just intelligent, she had a kind heart. And a generous face.
Submitting to temptation, Logan leaned down and pressed his lips ever so gently onto hers before pulling away.
Thea took a step back—not quite the reaction he was looking for. “What was that for?”
“I had to touch you, even if it was only for a second.” He smiled.
Before he realized what was happening, Thea was heading for the house.
“Hey, hey, wait up. What’s your hurry?” He trotted after her, boots crunching over the frosty ground.
But she didn’t wait. “You must think I’m so stupid.”
“I don’t—”
“You say those lines as if you’d rehearsed them.” She flew up the steps. “The Tin Man probably does.”
“Hey, whoa, wait a minute.” He caught her arm, stopping her a step above him so that they were eye to eye. “You think I practiced saying those lines?”
“I know you did. I had to touch you. Oh, puhlease. Is that how you get women?” She jerked her arm away.
Well… “Of course not.”
She scoffed at him. “I have news for you, Tin Man. You may think you’ve been seducing women all these years, but you’ve been the one that’s been seduced.”
“You are so full of it.”
“Am I? I bet Naomi had you trembling in your boots the other day.”
“Naomi?”
“The woman we saw at the grocery store? The one overflowing—” she made a round gesture in front of her “—with advice for me.”
Naomi had made Logan nervous, all right. But only because he’d sensed she was going to take a shot at him. He narrowed his eyes at Thea. “What’s your point?”
“Do you really enjoy spending time with women like her or is it that they’re easier to deal with? Ugh, forget I asked.” Closing her eyes, Thea blew out a breath, and then opened her eyes to return his stare. This time, she spoke softly. “The point is that you can have any woman you want if you speak from your heart.”
“Any woman I want?” Oh, he had her now.
“Yes.” Her eyes were like liquid pools of chocolate, melting just for him.
“What if I said I want you?”
She cupped his cheek with her hand. It felt cool and soft on his skin.
Logan was sure he could feel her resistance crumbling away.
“Like I said, you can have any woman you want…if you speak from your heart.” And then she walked inside the kitchen, leaving the Tin Man out in the cold.
IT TOOK LOGAN nearly a half hour to work up the courage to knock on Thea’s bedroom door. She knew, because she lay in bed watching the clock and listening to him moving around in the kitchen.
Her door didn’t have a lock and he opened it after rapping on it a second time.
“Thea, are you awake?”
“No.” Not only was Thea awake, her blood was humming through her veins, driven by irritation and attraction in equal measure.
He stepped inside and closed the door. Moonlight cast deep shadows over the room. She couldn’t see his face, but she could imagine what he looked like—sorrowful blue eyes, a mouth set firmly against any reason to smile. If only her heart wasn’t hanging in the balance, she’d try to put him at ease, offer him comfort, but her heart needed some bit of protection.
It was too late to prevent her from suffering. She’d fallen in love with him—this aloof man who skated in his socks and hid Easter eggs. And she was certain that he’d never accept her love, not the way she needed to be accepted.
He sat on the bed next to her. “I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone like you.”
Huddled under the covers, Thea kept silent.
“You push me too far and make me want to laugh. You drive me nuts with the way you look at life. And yet, from the moment I laid eyes on you, I couldn’t stop looking.”
Thea held her breath.
“I wasn’t lying out in the yard. I want to be with you.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I did approach you in a calculated, planned way. But that doesn’t mean I don’t respect you.”
Ee-ew. This sounded nothing like a romantic gesture.
“I guess it’s just been so long since I’ve been around a regular woman—”
He was getting colder. Thea wished she had a book in her hand to thunk the idiot on the head with.
“—that I’ve lost touch with what really matters. You’re right. I don’t usually have trouble finding dates—”
She was going to kill him.
“—but the fact remains, I only want you.”
She was going to kiss him. And without waiting for him to say more, she did.
When the kiss ended, Logan stood and turned to go.
Thea grabbed his hand. “You don’t really think you’re heartless, do you?”
“You know who I am.” And she did. Somehow, in just a few brief days, he felt as if someone else in the world knew him.
She gave him one of her untroubled smiles. “Yes, I do.”
The tightness in his chest eased as he kissed her knuckles and eased away.
“Good night, Thea.”
“Good night.”
“COME ON, TESS. Wake up. It’s Easter Sunday. Let’s go see what the Easter Bunny left us.”
“Stop bouncing the bed, Han, and I’ll get up.” Tess blinked her sleepy eyes open.
The sun was out and shining on her face. She yawned and squinted.
“Come on,” Hannah repeated. She always waited for Tess to wake up before going out to see what Santa and the Easter Bunny had left them.
“I don’t know why you’re in such a rush. The Easter Bunny probably doesn’t know where we’re living now.” Santa hadn’t been able to keep up.
“Remember what Mom said,” Hannah pulled on her jacket over her pajamas. “You have to believe or the magic doesn’t work.”
Tess lay on her back with her hand over her eyes, trying to decide if she believed or not. She wanted to believe.
She swung her legs out from under the covers. “Okay. I believe.” But if the Easter Bunny didn’t deliver, she wasn’t going to anymore.
“Did you hear Whizzer barking earlier?” Thea asked when they got to the kitchen.
Tess shook her head.
“Do you think he heard the Easter Bunny?” Hannah ran over to the corner to pet Whizzer. “Did you, boy?”
Tess could almost feel Hannah’s excitement. If that Easter Bunny disappointed Hannah, Tess was going to get mad.
“First the dog wakes me up, and now you two are makin’ all this noise.” Uncle Logan sipped his coffee while he flipped through one of Thea’s textbooks. “The neighborhood’s going downhill.”
“Well?” Thea said.
“Well, what?” Tess and Hannah both asked at the same time.
Tess looked at Hannah. They hadn’t said things together like that—in unison, their mom used to say—in a long time.
Thea pinched her nose as if she had a headache. “Aren’t you going to go look?”
With a giggle, Hannah ran to the kitchen door and slipped into her boots. Tess hurried after her. She wanted to see, but she didn’t.
What if there was nothing out there? What if the Easter Bunny was like Santa and had decided they were too hard to find or hadn’t been good enough this year?
“Hannah, wait.” Tess wanted to stop her sister from getting hurt, but it was too late.
Before she could stop her, Hannah threw the kitchen door open and raced across the porch and down the steps.
Tess couldn’t look. Please don’t let it be bad. Please don’t let it be bad.
And then Hannah called to her. “Tess! Tess! Come quick!”
With slow steps, Tess moved into the kitchen doorway and looked out. Everything had a layer of frost. It had to have been too cold for that stupid bunny to make his rounds.
“Tess,” Hannah cried from across the yard. “I found an egg.”
THE NEW SILVER BEND CEMETERY was carved out of the mountainside with green flowing lawn broken only by the occasional headstone. The cemetery hadn’t been established long—only a few years, long enough to open its gates for the likes of Birdie Lowell’s husband, Deb and a dozen or so others. The true old-timers, settlers, prospectors and the like, were buried up the hill in the historic cemetery.
This cemetery was a peaceful place.
A place that weighed heavily on Logan’s soul.
At dawn, he’d awoken thinking about Thea and the girls. Worrying that he might screw this up. But later, the wondrous morning had continued with the twins giggling as they searched for Easter eggs in their pj’s, jackets and mud boots. With the help of Deb, Thea had created a special memory for them, and to Thea’s delight, most of the eggs had survived the night.
For a few hours, Logan had started to feel, well, almost like his old self. And then came the time to go to the cemetery.
Logan drove slowly through the arched gates out of respect for those whose time had passed, but also because he dreaded going to his twin’s grave site. Thea took his hand as they entered the gates, letting him know she was there if he needed her. He was grateful for the contact.
When had he become such a wuss?
He parked near Deb’s final resting place and climbed out of the truck slowly, helping Aunt Glen and the girls out the back door. The girls wore jean jackets over the velvet dresses he’d bought them last year when Jackson and Lexie had remarried. Their skirts ruffled in the brisk spring breeze. Thea had braided their hair in two pigtails, each hanging over one ear. Deb had always liked it kept neat.
Aunt Glen wore an ankle-length jean skirt and a pale pink sweater that Thea had found somewhere. The colors made Glen’s skin look that much healthier. Or perhaps it was because Glen was cleaner than she’d been in a long time.
Logan winced. He’d really screwed things up for all of them.
Thea came around the other side of the truck. She’d insisted on purchasing carnations at Birdie’s store. And, of course, she hadn’t chosen just one color. There was a pink one, a yellow one, an orange one and a red one. The various colors complemented Thea’s dark blue jeans and purple suede jacket. Logan realized he’d never seen Thea wear black. Other women couldn’t stay away from basic black. She shunned it for brighter, more cheerful colors.
She gave Tess, Hannah and Glen each a kiss on the cheek and a carnation. Logan wrapped his arms around her when she handed him his flower, hugging her tight, trying to recapture that special feeling from the night before.
“You’re doing a good job,” Thea said as she backed out of his embrace. Her gaze sent him strength. “She’s been waiting a long time to see you.”
They walked forward in a procession that seemed to move more slowly than the day the pallbearers had carried Deb to her plot. Logan kept his eyes on the tree-filled horizon beyond his sister’s grave, oddly comforted by the soft jingle of bells from Thea’s shoes. If not for that, the stillness would have been too ominous to bear.
“I’ll wait for you over here,” Thea said softly, breaking away from the group and sitting on a bench beneath a pine tree.
Logan remembered that this must be tough on Thea as well, being reminded of her own loss. And then they were standing next to Deb’s grave marker. Logan’s eyes scanned the headstone.
Deborah Kaylie McCall. Beloved Mother.
Cherished Sister. Treasured Niece. The sun
is shining on your side of the mountain.
Logan wouldn’t let anything about that lowlife husband of Deb’s go on the headstone, including his name. Wes had been gone for half a year when Deb died. Deb hadn’t seemed to care too much that he’d left. She had always been good about picking herself up and moving on. Logan wasn’t so levelheaded. Perhaps that was why he couldn’t move past her death.
God, he missed her.
Deb had always seemed to sense when Logan was feeling lost, or reliving the chaos that was their childhood. No matter where he was, she’d find him, get a hold of him on his cell phone or sweet-talk a fire dispatcher into relaying him a message.
“Hey, you. Put your boots on.” Or, “Hey, you. Sun’s shining on this side of the mountain.” It was their code for keepin’ on.
Logan clenched his eyes shut, angling his head away from the rest of the family.
He would not cry out here. But the pain of her loss was so intense that he almost couldn’t breathe. Deb was the one person in the world who had known the hell of his childhood, that could communicate to him with just a look. He missed that.
Someone sniffed next to him. Logan opened his eyes and gazed down on his nieces. Hannah had tears streaming down her face. Tess held herself in such a tense way that she looked as if she’d shatter at any moment. Her arms couldn’t wrap any tighter around her thin frame. She blinked back tears defiantly.
Hannah knelt next to her mother’s headstone with a whisper of velvet. Very carefully, she laid her flower at its base. “I miss you, Mommy. I miss listening to you read to me at night. I miss sitting on your lap.” She gave a big juicy sniff. “Thea reads to us at night. You’d like her a lot. She opened the windows and cleaned Uncle Logan’s house.”
How could he comfort her? How was Logan supposed to know how to be a good parent? The closest he’d come to a real father was Sirus Socrath, the Hot Shot who trained him and was now married to Mary, Jackson’s mom. Sirus would just as quickly cuss you out as slap you on the back for a job well done. Not exactly the role model Logan needed to raise two little girls.
Humbled by his failure to care for his nieces properly, Logan bowed his head. What had Deb been thinking to leave him in charge of her two kids? He and Deb had both been seriously mistreated by their dad. Deb may not have inherited Eldred McCall’s hot temper, but Logan sure had and he feared what he might do if the pressure of parenthood became too much. Even now, Logan could feel the heat of frustration winding its way through his blood—a heat so undeniable that he could barely keep himself from shouting at the sky. One decent thing about his childhood had been torn away from him when Deb died.
“I don’t…I can’t… Where is Deb?” Aunt Glen’s eyes darted about the area, a worried frown gracing her features. “Is this a joke?”
It wasn’t a joke. It was his own personal hell.
Logan moved next to Glen, drawing her away from the grave. “She’s gone, Glen. She’s been gone awhile now.”
Glen shrugged off his arm. “How dare you! She’s not gone. Why, just this morning…” Her words faltered and her gaze drifted back to the headstone. “She went for a walk up the mountain,” she added stubbornly.
Sparing a glance to the twins, Logan put his arm around his aunt once more. Hannah watched them with luminous, tear-filled eyes. Tess kept her back to them, eyes on her mother’s headstone.
“It’s okay, Glen. Why don’t you go sit over here with Thea.” Logan wished he believed his own words, wished he had someone to blame for his sister’s death. At least then, he could channel all his frustration and pain at someone.
Glen’s face was pale. She looked up to where Logan pointed. “Is she your girlfriend? Have I met her before?”
“She’s a friend of the family. She’s your cookiemaking buddy.” Thea was his rock. He wasn’t alone anymore. For now, that was enough.
“I’m quite good at making sugar cookies, you know,” Glen announced.
“The best in Silver Bend.” They stopped in front of the bench and Logan exchanged a glance with Thea.
“She’ll be fine with me,” Thea said, patting the bench beside her as if she knew exactly what Logan had been about to ask her. “Glen, have you ever made snickerdoodles?”
“Of course I have.” Even as Glen sat down, Logan could tell her spirits were rising. “Did you know that snickerdoodles can be traced back to Roman times?”
Thea laughed and squeezed Glen’s hand. “You’re kidding?”
“Not at all. Those Pennsylvania Dutch tried to claim them as their own creation, but that’s just not true.”
Now that Glen was on steadier ground, Logan returned to the twins.
“Don’t be mad at Mom,” Hannah was saying to Tess.
“She didn’t have to die.” Tess was still wrapped up tight as a mummy.
“She was sick,” Hannah wailed.
“But she didn’t go to the doctor in the end, did she? She didn’t try hard enough to stay with us.”
“Tess.” The word was wrung from Logan’s throat as he knelt next to her and put an arm over her thin shoulders. “Don’t.”
Tess’s blue eyes blazed with fury. “She left us. Moms aren’t supposed to leave.”
What could he say to that?
While he fumbled for some words of comfort, Hannah wrapped her arms around Logan’s shoulders.
“She was too sick, Tess,” he said, sliding an arm around Hannah as he ignored the burning in his gut that talking about Deb caused. “She was too sick for the doctors to help her.”
He felt a bit of the tension leave Tess’s little body as she leaned into him.
“I want her back. I’d give anything to get her back,” Tess whispered.
“Me, too,” Hannah added.
Logan could do nothing but silently agree.