If You Have Little, Give of Your Heart
“The sect of lovers is distinct from all others
Lovers have a religion and a faith of their own”— Rumi
Once again, Irina began to weep, and with great distress, she appealed to the tsar, “Please, dear Uncle,” but then, to add formality as a show of her seriousness, she included his title in her next address to him. Wiping away her tears and with her voice cracking, Irina begged, “I humbly ask that His Majesty grants Nasrosoltan permission to continue!”
Seeing Irina once again falling apart, the tsar reluctantly gestured to Nasrosoltan that he could go on. Nasrosoltan continued, “Your Majesty, this is correct that we have come out of the past, leaving different histories behind. But in the present, perhaps as a result of life’s mystery, in our hearts, there is a leaning forward into a future together. This love has blinded me to the princess’s station in life and has caused me to neglect my own.
“At first, I fought these feelings with all my power, and I reasoned with myself that it was improper, and therefore tried to suppress such thoughts. I am aware that in the eyes of the royal family, I am just a commoner, and my prospects are modest at best, while Her Serene Highness is a princess of the great Romanovs.
“Here at the palace in St. Petersburg, you view me perhaps as nothing more than the princess’s tutor with a conservatory education. However, in my own country, I am well-born and someone with a great future, with a highly respected family—a family that the shahs of Persia themselves have bestowed their grace upon for many years.”
Hearing Nasrosoltan going on and on in his long-winded defense, the grand duchess cursed something under her breath. Then, waving her hands, interrupted him and scornfully said, “Well, Monsieur, I think you have shamed yourself enough with your nonsense. We do not trust you, and there is no way back from this impropriety! You are only wasting your breath since none of what you are saying is helping your cause. I grant that you do have a silver tongue, but I am tired of your ramblings!”
Then Xenia turned to her brother and said, “I think we have heard enough; don’t you agree, Your Majesty?”
At that moment, Nasrosoltan felt his opportunity for redemption had fallen to the ground. He did not know how to respond, so he stood there in the deafening silence, waiting for someone else to break it.
Suddenly, in defiance of her mother and in defense of Nasrosoltan, Irina intervened. “Mama, please do not do this; please allow him to speak, if you love me!”
The grand duchess retorted, “You know we love you, and that is why we are trying to prevent this disaster of a future you are dreaming for yourself!”
And then she continued with a defensive tone while pointing directly at Irina. “Irina Alexandrovna, now that you talk of love, let me tell you, if you genuinely loved me, you wouldn’t have betrayed my trust. How could you have kept these matters from me? It is because you are selfish and only care about yourself!”
It was then that Nasrosoltan realized much of the grand duchess’s anger was aimed at her daughter for hiding their relationship. Upon hearing her mother’s scolding, Irina began to cry, unable to respond to the grand duchess’s accusation. Irina was spent, dropping her head into her hands in a gesture of complete surrender.
The tsar did not appreciate his sister taking control of the situation by lashing out at Irina and did not directly respond to Xenia’s outburst. Instead, he turned to the grand duke and offered, “Sandro, you are her father. You decide if he is to continue or not.”
Hearing the tsar’s sudden directive to her father, Irina sensed a hint of hope and addressed the grand duke. “Papa, you and Nasrosoltan had become close while he was tutoring me, so you know his character well. You know he is an honorable man. Why else would you spend so much private time with him, drinking brandy and telling tales?” Irina then implored, “Papa, let him speak!”
As Irina reminded her father of the special relationship he had with Nasrosoltan, the grand duke recalled the last few months where he had developed a genuine fondness for him. In response to his daughter’s plea, he gave allowance for Nasrosoltan to continue.
Nasrosoltan, trying hard to control his emotions, added, “I am keenly aware of the customs of nobility and the desire for unions made within their own esteemed circles. It is also such in Persia, where the nobility arranges such betrothals among themselves. However, in many instances, such unions, after much negotiation, arrange all matters except the most supreme, which is the happiness of those involved.”
Nasrosoltan then continued with an audacious claim. “I do not mean to intrude, but I believe that holy matrimony is not a game of chance. I understand it is not my place to offer this, but I believe that a house built on the foundation of love is like a house built on a rock, so when the turbulence of life’s storms beat on it, it stands firm and does not fall!”
At this point, Grand Duchess Xenia, who had enough of what she felt was Nasrosoltan’s impertinence, suddenly rose from her chair. With arms akimbo, she interrupted Nasrosoltan. “That is correct, Monsieur, it is not your place to interfere with our family affairs, and to stand here lecturing His Imperial Majesty in this manner with such insolence! We do not know how subjects address the shah in Persia, but in the presence of the tsar of all the Russias, this is surely not acceptable and is wholly improper! How dare you?”
The grand duchess threw an angry glance toward the guards stationed at the door as if threatening to have Nasrosoltan thrown out by force. She then turned to him and said, “Monsieur, you should leave at once!”
At the shock of hearing her mother heap abuse on Nasrosoltan, Irina, trying to catch a breath through her sobbing, jumped up and shouted, “Mama, please, for the love of God, what are you doing? Do not treat him this way; you are so cruel to him!”
The tsar, who had been listening intently to Nasrosoltan’s plea, was vexed at his sister’s command that Nasrosoltan take his leave. Apparently, in the heat of the moment, the grand duchess had forgotten that when in the presence of the tsar of Russia, it is only he who decides who stays or goes. The tsar gave the grand duchess a stern sideways look and, not saying a word to confront this disrespect directed at him, motioned with his head for Nasrosoltan to continue. Irina sat back down at the tsar’s feet, hoping that Nasrosoltan could transform his circumstance with the next words he delivered.
“Your Imperial Majesty, Your Royal Highnesses, once again, I pray that you forgive these words of mine if they sound impudent, but with this talk of love, I am not building a bridge of dreams and exaggerations. In my heart, I am not living in a fool’s paradise. I am not speaking of a love that flames up and then dies out into the darkness of a few embers, but a constant flame. The love that I proclaim for Her Serene Highness is not based on empty promises or meaningless declarations as Your Highnesses believe, but on all that is good and beautiful, compassionate and kind. The love that I offer bears no title or wealth, but what I do offer, and pray to Almighty God falls upon receptive ears, is the most precious gift I possess, my promise of enduring love, for I have little else to give.”
The grand duchess, forgetting what she had done just moments ago to anger the tsar, took the reins of the discussion in her hands once again and sarcastically said, “Monsieur, hopefully, you are done!”
But then, before her brother could feel disrespected once more, Grand Duchess Xenia salvaged the situation by turning to him and with respectable formality saying, “Your Majesty, this man should be condemned and never allowed to have any contact with the royal family. He is not to be trusted! What is your judgment, Your Majesty?”
The tsar was about to make his decision when his eye caught Irina looking up beggingly toward him. She took advantage of a moment of quiet and asked the tsar, “Dear Uncle, if you agree with Mama that Nasrosoltan should be condemned, are not even condemned men given a last chance to speak?”
The tsar thought for a second and then said to Nasrosoltan, “Monsieur, let us hear any final appeal now before deciding your fate!”
Before saying anything, Nasrosoltan locked eyes with Irina, giving him the confidence he so desperately needed at this moment. Then with the next few words he uttered, he cast himself about on a sea of chance. “Thank you, Your Majesty. I have spoken all that was in my heart and mind, for love has conquered the very last remnant of any fear I may have harbored. I am not ashamed of my feelings, and I pray, fully aware of the vast space between our two worlds, that these words may find a place within your gracious hearts and gently rest therein.
“I remember how one evening at dinner in this same palace, we spoke of kismet. Just now, His Majesty said he would be deciding my fate. As I believed that night and as I will always believe, kismet has already written what will happen to us. Our love for one another is solely a natural reaction to what blind fate has determined, and we had no choice since we felt hard-pressed to balance the force of such destiny. Therefore, I do now with great humility accept my fate, whatever Your Majesty decides.”
As Nasrosoltan emptied his soul with his heartfelt defense of their love, he felt wholly depleted. Irina, spellbound by his plea the whole time he spoke, maintained a fixed gaze upon him.
With a renewed liveliness, Princess Irina turned to the tsar and said, “Please, dearest Uncle, how can you refuse our petition. Do you not want me to be happy?”
Before the tsar could respond, she suddenly blurted out the words the tsar himself had threatened during his own courtship, proclaiming emphatically, “If I cannot be allowed to be with the one I love, I would rather not marry at all!”
Irina’s comment startled the tsar. With those words, she inadvertently put the tsar in her shoes, and he began to empathize with her, remembering what he endured from his own family when he first fell in love. This worried him since he did not want Irina’s first encounter with love, even a love he disagreed with, to be forever intertwined with pain and sorrow. This was when the tsar would let his cherished niece see his goodness as a loving uncle rather than his greatness as a tsar. Irina would soon witness more of his love than his majesty.
Unexpectedly, with a softer tone, the tsar asked Nasrosoltan, “But then, Monsieur, what was your plan? Assuming the grand duke had acquiesced to your petition, were you going to take our princess from the magnificence of St. Petersburg to your country with no prior planning? That is not how things are done, especially with the nobility of the Romanovs! Does your own family even know of your feelings for our dear Irina Alexandrovna?”
Nasrosoltan, who by now was expecting the worst and had lost all hope of the conversation taking this surprising yet encouraging turn, confessed, “No, Your Majesty, they do not know yet.”
The tsar suddenly realized he had been offered a way out of this predicament. One that would not leave Irina devastated but, at the same time, would send this presumptuous tutor on his way.
On the spur of the moment, in an attempt to salvage this uneasy situation, the tsar unexpectedly declared, “Well then, Monsieur, I suggest you go back to Persia as you had planned and discuss the matter with them. If they are agreeable, these matters may perhaps be discussed further. You must understand these things cannot take place on a whim, and much needs to be decided before any more talk of this. That is my final word on this issue!”
The tsar’s shocking decision initially left everyone in the room stunned. Irina could not believe what she had just heard from the tsar’s own lips, that the miracle she had been praying for had come true. With unbridled excitement, she leapt up from the foot of the tsar’s chair and kissed his cheek repeatedly in grateful appreciation. She thanked him over and over for allowing her to be happy, knowing that now, even if her own parents were unconvinced, they would not dare overrule her uncle.
Nasrosoltan, who was absolutely baffled at the tsar’s sudden change of heart, bowed low to show his gratitude. “I am forever thankful to His Imperial Majesty. If permission is granted, I shall take leave as soon as possible and act upon His Majesty’s advice.”
The tsar then dismissed them both. While Nasrosoltan and Irina left the reception room, the grand duke and duchess remained seated and were dumbfounded by what had just transpired. They had expected the tsar to crush this indecency, rather than give it his apparent blessing.
Grand Duchess Xenia, who had continuously scolded Nasrosoltan during his lengthy defense, was extremely disappointed in the tsar’s ruling. But instead of confronting her all-powerful brother for his abrupt unilateral decision, Xenia unleashed her frustration on the grand duke, demanding, “Sandro, why did you not say anything? You are her father, for God’s sake; don’t you care about your only daughter’s future?”
Grand Duke Alexander, who was sitting in silence thinking about what had just happened, was pulled out of his thoughts by this unprovoked attack. However, before he could respond to her first question, Grand Duchess Xenia released a sharper arrow. “Why do you think a commoner was emboldened to even think of our Irene in this way?”
The grand duke replied sternly, “Xenia Alexandrovna, what are you talking about?”
The grand duchess angrily responded, “I will tell you why this man felt bold enough to even ask such a thing! It was because you allowed him into our private lives with your invitations for drinking and conversation after Irene’s lessons. You have always had a problem with setting appropriate boundaries. And look where we are now!”
The grand duke was shocked at Xenia’s anger toward him but most of all at hearing the kernel of truth in what she had said. He felt disrespected by her in front of the tsar and replied to his wife with great seriousness, “Xenia Alexandrovna, His Majesty has already decided their fate. But it was not becoming of you, showing your emotions as you did today!”
Grand Duchess Xenia momentarily caught herself, realizing she may have been too harsh on her husband and therefore did not respond to his comment. Instead, she turned to the tsar and said, “My dear Nicky, I am alarmed. What was the wisdom in your decision? Why afford them this glimmer of hope? I just do not understand.”
The tsar tenderly replied, “Xenia Alexandrovna, what would you have done if Father had opposed your marriage to our dear Sandro? Would you have submitted quietly to his wish, or would you have despised him and fought for your heart?
“As you remember, I also had to put my foot down with Father to marry Alix. Irina is young and impressionable; the love she feels for him is pure and innocent. It is prudent that we keep her close to us rather than drive her away with our displeasure for this relationship.
“We are fortunate that the Monsieur is departing for Persia in a few days. Unlike what some say, distance does not make the heart grow fonder. In fact, distance can slowly drain the excitement out of any affection.
“So even though he does seem to be a man with no ill intent towards our Irina Alexandrovna, and their love for one another seems genuine, that love they both so boldly spoke of this evening will not withstand the test of time and distance; two of the fiercest enemies of love.
“Therefore, do not worry, Xenia Alexandrovna, for Irina’s fantasies will also fade away with time, and she will soon forget about him when he is gone. In the end, nothing will change. I suggest you continue your negotiations with the Yusupovs!”